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Year 5

Five years.

So much happens in that amount of time. When I look back on our marriage we have lived a life in just these short five years.

But five years also seems like a huge milestone to come to.

After a pretty rocky year four, Tom and I were ready to settle into this year and enjoy being married again.

We did a lot of adulting this year.

  • We bought a house.
  • We hosted two holidays (Christmas and Easter) for the first time.
  • Tom started the process for VA disability benefits. We are almost a year out from when we started it, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight to when they will be rating him. There are lots of doctors’ visits involved and dealing with the VA beaucracy. Another post for another day maybe.
  • We started our long list of home improvements.

We are loving our home. While we are still learning the quirks of the house and making plans to update certain things to our liking, we are still so happy with our choice to have our family here. The dogs love it, and George is going to have so many memories here.

George had a huge year as well. He went from our little baby to a very mobile and spirited toddler.

  • He started walking.

  • He turned one, and we celebrated with a huge party and lots of cake.

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  • He was Curious George for Halloween.

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  • He has had all kinds of sickness this year:  several ear infections, several trips to Urgent Care and one week long stay in the PICU, and most recently had the worst case of Hand Foot and Mouth. Needless to say we are ready for a month without him coming down with something.

 We have been able to spend a great amount time with family.

  • We visited my parents at their lake house, and we gave George his first boat experience. It was also nice to get up on skis again.
  • We took our first road trip with Tom’s family, where George charmed us all with his dancing skills at a wedding.
  • We actually were able to start enjoying our town and have gone to several festivals and explored a many of trails.

This was our year to be fans. I had so much fun watching my teams play and be on highlight reels. Very exciting times. It also made me glad that we own a home because there was a lot of screaming.

  • Our Royals went back to the World Series and won it this time! Still gives me goosies.
  • The Chiefs made it to the playoffs, which they have not done for a really long time.
  • Clemson made it to the National Championship game.

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Maybe this next year will be the year for spirit chants for Gman.

Our careers really picked up for both of us. It’s like we are living different lives finally being in jobs that fulfill us professionally. Tom was finally on the road solo, and he is sweeping the crime away from this city. We also experienced the first scare of a work injury. We also have figured out how to work within the constraints of his shifts. My job is amazing. I feel challenged regularly (in a good way), and the office I work with is really a dream team. Very rarely is there a day that I don’t enjoy being at work, and I am proud of the things we are accomplishing there.

I feel like this year I really took back my fitness for me and started doing things that felt good but kept me active. I also PR’ed on a 10K.

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This year we noticed that when we could have that focus on who we are as individuals and feel valued for our efforts, it really made a giant difference in who we were as a married couple. I think it is so important for couple to realize that you have to do work to be an individual separately from your couple identity. This is really the first year that one of us hasn’t felt a huge struggle in our career, and I think that had a direct impact as this was one of our best years married. This may not be true for others, but for us we needed to develop ourselves before we could be good for each other. It was the first year that I think we felt like we could breathe.

And in those breathes we were able to have a great year.

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Full of memories and moving forward.

But also we were able to stand still and enjoy a lot more.

Life is truly beautiful, and so is our marriage.

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If you want to read more about our love story, there are links documenting each step here.

 

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What We Love About Each Other

Yesterday we talked about those little quirks that irk us about each other. Today we will flip the tables and talk about some of the things we love about each other.

We’ll try not to get too ooey-gooey.

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What I love about Tom…

  1. His woodworking skills. I love that he can make anything, and I do mean anything. His imagination and ingenuity is bar-none. It is coming in real handy with our house, and watching him and George bond over it is becoming one of my favorite things to witness. (Just wait until you see all the mini tools George has…post coming soon.)
  2. His humor is one that will make milk shoot out of noses. I often am left in the wake of his wit. I just can’t keep up with the daily talks with Tom, but they often lift my spirits and can make any serious moment not seem so serious. Sometimes the humor is crude, but I think it is always in an effort to bring some fun to the table and help people (like myself) not to be hoity-toity all the time. I appreciate his ability to make me smile every time I need it.
  3. His loyalty is pretty hardcore. I am always impressed with his willingness to go all in for a cause. His dedication to his city, his country, and his family is rare. He has no hesitation going to bat for the things that he holds dear. I don’t know if there are a lot of people out there that are willing to sacrifice what he will in order to protect those that he loves. He has stuck by me in some pretty rotten times, and for that I owe him all the love in the world.

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What Tom loves about me…

  1. She is an awesome wife and mom. I don’t think I could put into words at how great she is. She is so legit. (Too legit to quit.)
  2. At the very least, she seems to appear to reserve judgements about some of my opinions about politics and humanity in general that are often shocking to say the least. I appreciate that personal leeway.
  3. The level of trust that we have. I don’t feel the need to go through emails or phone and we have joint accounts. I know everything is the way that it is supposed to be.

Tom also went on to say that he could go on and on but it would also be hard to wrap it up in words what I mean to him. And the collective awww..

What are things that you love about your partner?

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Our Pet Peeves

Are you ready for Anniversary week? Well get ready for posts all about Tom and I this week  since we are celebrating 5 years of marriage bliss.

Every relationship has those little things that drive us crazy, so I hope that you either find these humorous or you can relate in some way (hopefully both).

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What Tom does that drives me bonkers…

  1. He leaves lights on everywhere, especially in the basement and our bathroom. I hardly ever go down to the basement, so I never notice unless I come home after it’s dark. He feels the need to have the lights on at ALL times of the day, even midday when we have the perfect amount of natural light.
  2. He leaves shaker cups with shake remnants in the sink. That’s not even the bad part. He puts the lids on so tight that I can’t get them off, but then he refuses to rinse them out because of the smell. So gross. So gross.
  3. He still uses his childhood comforter. Guys this blanket is blue and green plaid and faded, and I am sure crawling with dust mites even though I sanitize wash it every other week. My vision of a beautiful made up bed will always be thwarted because of this blanket that he refuses to get rid of…that and the fact that our two dogs make it impossible to have a made up bed. I have tried to replace it with nice new very comfy spreads, and this old comforter always makes its way out of the linen closet and back on to the bed. The decision for us to have two blankets on the bed may have saved our marriage.

What I do that drives Tom bananas…

  1. She waits until I am settled and reading something online before she asks me to do things. I could be standing in the kitchen for 45 minutes, but she wont ask me to take out the trash until the moment I sit down on the couch. She could have not talked to me for 2 hours, but I will start reading an article and somewhere in her subconscious seems to be a radar that this is the time for me to do all the things she needs me to do.  (I am really bad about this…even though I swear I am not doing it on purpose.)
  2. She doesn’t always look at me when I am talking. I know she could be listening while she is doing other things or even be running to another room to grab something. But it doesn’t feel like she is listening.
  3. Volume. She listens to the TV so loud. (It’s true, I am losing my hearing due to wax build up with my weird shaped ear canals. It’s a medical issue, but thanks for bringing it up Tom.) It is a problem though when we are home on the weekends when Tom has to sleep during the day.  I can barely hear the TV, and Tom can hear it clear as a bell in the back room.

What are the quirks about your partner that irk you?

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Bachelorette JoJo Week 3 Thoughts

This week was four hours of drama. So I have a lot of thoughts since it was stretched out over two nights. Get ready.

 

Here was my thought process during night one…

  • There are always those contestants that are absolutely floored that they aren’t the ones that get the one on one. Like how dare she play this game?
  • This hot yoga thing is so weird. “This angergasm looks more like an exorcism.” Yes JoJo, it is weird for us too.
  • I mean how would you not kiss holding someone like that doing the yib yab? You have to feel some connection. I feel like the producers set that one up.
  • Chad should be grateful he is on a date. He definitely looks like a dbag puffing up to everyone. Of course no one wants to go on a date with 11 other guys, but that is what you signed up for. Stop complaining.
  • Sextalks? These dates are awful. While I agree with JoJo that intimacy is important, I don’t think these dates are great for first dates. But I guess it breaks the ice.
  • Again, Chad’s approach is very aggressive and negative, however I agree with that she may have not earned that part of his history yet. Modest lady over here.
  • I love that Jordan keeps cozying up to JoJo in the audience.
  • Daniel’s hair cutting story was seriously creepy. How is he still here?
  • Evan’s stint during his sex talk…He did have the balls to say something.
  • Then the altercation with Chad…this is the start of something! Lots of trouble.
  • Chad trying to move on JoJo in front of everone…show stopper. How embarrassing.
  • “If I can’t lift weights, I am going to murder someone.” Yea because that doesn’t scream roid rage…
  • I am glad JoJo didn’t let Chad crash one of the one on one times during the group date. You don’t see that very often that they don’t let them interrupt.
  • ..Chad’s comments about Evan already having his chance at love because he has three kids. Because having kids means that you aren’t able to love again?
  • Also did we miss where Evan divulged about having 3 kids? While I am all for parents finding love, I don’t know how they do this show and spend this much time away from their kids. Just being real…I have a hard time being away from George for 10 hours.
  • Yes James T. got a date! I love him!
  • Oh Chad…you have to ask deep questions in this quick setting. Feelings are needed in this situation.
  • Evan should not have given JoJo that ultimatum. Yes bring up how he is not a good guy, but don’t make JoJo get rid of one of you right there.
  • Wow Chad. Showing jealousy much? Yes this is real life. Chad is a time-bomb waiting to happen.
  • James’s date of swing dancing is one of my dreams. (To which Tom responded with “yuck”)
  • Haha Daniel trying to give Chad advice of having a cooler head.
  • Flash dance that is swing dancing! Yes please! Make my dreams come true! James seemed to exude fun!
  • I almost choked on my drink when Daniel compared Chad to Hitler. So many thoughts.
  • Of course she is twitterpatted when James serenades her with that skyline in the background.
  • Evan telling Chris seems unnecessary. Wouldn’t the producers step in if there was a serious issue?
  • Chris telling Chad to go settle it in a way that will be well received seems like a recipe for disaster.

 

Here are my thoughts on night two…

  • Evan bleeding in the pool really?
  • JoJo and Jordan have the heat that is for sure.
  • I don’t think Chad ever learned how to be social.
  • JoJo really loves the two piece outfits. I am glad I am out of the social scene because I don’t see myself every feeling comfortable in those clothes.
  • Noooo I liked Christian! I am sad to see him go.
  • Yes Luke got a 1:1. And a really romantic one at that! Hopefully they have some good conversations in that time.
  • So do you think they are allowed books? I understand no magazines, but books? I mean what do they do all day? Just sit around and stare at each other?
  • The Two on One…dun dun dun. Alex and Chad. Honestly I am not really a fan of either, so this will be interesting.
  • Luke=rugged and sexy. Agreed.
  • Luke describing his military experience made me cry happy tears, and definitely makes me appreciate the life we have now. How he explained that emotions are not a positive thing in that experience definitely resonated with me. In some ways I think that is something that many of the soldiers have to learn all over again once they return. I think it is hard for them to touch that side again after things they have seen.
  • All those people with their phones taking pictures of Luke and JoJo…so many spoilers made right there. I still have managed to escape all of them!
  • I LOVE DAN + SHAY!
  • The guys are really aggressive on this football date.
  • BHAHAHA Ben Roethlisberger just chilling in the stands.
  • I love that Hines has viewing parties at his house.
  • They definitely played up all this blood to be because of Chad…and it’s not.
  • Aww James has to get stitches but doesn’t go to hang out more. That’s dumb James.
  • Chad going against two veterans doesn’t seem to be the best idea.
  • Evan, why are you trying to be stylish with the football garb?
  • I would not have called the blue team winning with all the injured people.
  • I think Alex hit on the head that Chad is really insecure. I think he is the one overly sensitive to how people react to him.
  • Do you think the producers pick who is on the two on one? There always seems to be one of the most dramatic contestants on this date. I mean I know they have an influence, but do you think they absolutely pick?
  • Chad threatening to come find Jordan after the show…That doesn’t seem to be a good idea.
  • That awkward silence of all the guys on that couch…That was comical.
  • I think she is going to send both home at the end of the two on one.
  • Why are they chopping that tree? It was not in their way.
  • Chad you aren’t aggressive person? Threatened people to keep them quiet? Again no social skills.
  • JoJo, I don’t think Chad’s mom would be happy about his behavior so don’t give him a pass on this.
  • Chad whistling is creepy.
  • Chad for real all you have talked about is violence.
  • Wait Chad is a marine too? Did I miss that?
  • Bye Bye Chad.
  • I am glad she picked Alex over Chad, but I don’t think that Alex is the right guy for her.
  • Chad is back at the house…WTH. Is this a horror film.
  • Again, how is Daniel still in the house?
  • There are moments that I feel sorry for Chad, but then I realize that he really is this awful. So many good nuggets to digest here. http://www.wetpaint.com/bachelorette-2016-chad-johnson-match-profile-photos-1498609/
  • I wonder if Chad will show up on the “Men Tell All” episode.
  • Also I think Chad makes Olivia (from Ben’s season) look like a saint. Also not to toot my own horn but she liked one of my Instagram photos…No big deal.

My favorites: Luke, James Taylor, Chase, and Jordan. (same as last week)

Were you in it to win it with both episodes this week? Who are your favorites? What did you think of the “intimate” dates?

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35 Before 35 Update

I know that I do not have much to update this month, but the thought of having a month missing on my list gives me heebeegeebees. So here it is. No one is perfect.

1. Crochet something else besides blankets or scarves at least once a year (2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020)

2. Do a photography challenge (Took pictures once a week George’s first year)

3. Visit 5 cities I have never been to before (8/5)

4. Tour at least one a winery, brewery, or distillery

5. Send at least 5 snail mail a month

6. Become a “professional” photographer

7. Run at least 10 races (any distance) (6/10)

8. Go camping with Tom

9. Pay for the car behind me in a drive through

10. See Tyrone Wells live as many times as possible

11. Tour Fort Defiance here in Clarksville

12. Water ski with my dad

13. Do a 5K with my mom

14. Take a swing dance class with Tom

15. Read at least one fun book a month and one professional development book every three months

16. Take a pottery or stained glass class

17. Do one new recipe each month

18. See both a Clemson and UCM football game live

19. Find a place to volunteer on a regular basis

20. Go hiking

21. Ride in a hot air balloon

22. Go to at least 20 “new to me” restaurants. (32/20)

23. Stay at a bed and breakfast

24. Spend a day without electronics (phone, t.v. and computer)

25. Do something unique and new for my birthdays

26. Explore Nashville while we live here

27. Watch at least 10 movies that I have not seen before that won Best Picture at the Oscars and at least 20 documentaries (not necessarily Oscar winning) Movies (3/10); Documentaries (7/20)

28. Sew an item of clothing from scratch

29. Do a personal devotional/bible study on my own

30. Be a mascot for an event

31. Go on our honeymoon (preferably somewhere tropical)

32. Host an annual NCAA Basketball Tournament Championship game party

33. Go on a mission trip

34. Be on a recreation volleyball team

35. Become a mom

Yes to doing one thing on the list. Sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some. Here’s to next time.