15 Years of Blessings

Fifteen years ago, we stood before God and promised to walk through life together. At the time, I thought I knew what our future might hold. I imagined a home, children, careers, traditions, and milestones. What I couldn’t imagine was how many different lives we would live within this one marriage. Honestly, our life looks nothing like I imagined when we high-fived I do. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Over the last fifteen years, we have been newlyweds and exhausted parents. We have celebrated promotions and navigated disappointments. We have welcomed babies, endured uncertainty, packed boxes, said difficult goodbyes, and started over more than once. We have walked through seasons that felt abundant and seasons that required us to trust God one day at a time.

When I look back at our marriage, I don’t see a perfect story. I see a testimony of God’s faithfulness.

God’s Provision

There were seasons when we weren’t sure how everything would work out financially. There were moments when unexpected expenses, career changes, and uncertainty made the future feel unclear.

We bought our house right before a housing market boom in our area, and we have been able to update it to our forever home.

Tom got his VA benefits upgraded right before his law enforcement career was uprooted and left him waiting on a lawsuit. And then the lawsuit itself became a significant blessing.

Looking back, I can see God’s fingerprints all over those moments. He provided what we needed, often in ways we never expected. I get goosebumps thinking about all the times that it just worked out as it needed to for us to feel comfort.

God’s Guidance Through Career Changes

Neither of us could have predicted the paths our careers would take. When we got married, Tom wanted to be a canine officer, and I was going to continue working and moving up in Residence Life on a college campus.

Over the years we got devastating no’s and some yes’s that took faith in the unknown. We went down unanticipated paths as the years have gone by. I worked in Disability Services and then found myself working up College Enrollment Management positions which was a far cry from my Residence Life roots. Tom joined the Army and then eventually worked as a road police officer with a pit stop as a Loan Specialist for a hot second. Each of these experiences have helped us where we are now. I would not be the teacher I am now without the path that led me here. I think about the opportunities Tom has had that have helped us in other areas of our life. He can connect with ANYONE due to his law enforcement conversation skills, and even his time working on loans has come in handy with our own house and finances.

I also think about the people along each of these routes who either nudged us with job openings, helped mentor us, or highlighted that it was time for a change for a myriad of reasons. It is another moment of looking back and thinking how perfect all the timing was for each interaction to move us.

At the time, some doors closing felt painful. Some opportunities felt risky. But God was writing a story we couldn’t yet see. He allowed for these career changes to help us grow together as partners. I will have to say these career moments gave us some of our darkest moments where we felt hopeless and we each have had to dig the other out of those career pitfalls. It is in these moments that leaning on each other just made our marriage that much stronger and helped us realize that our careers don’t have to define us.

God’s Faithfulness Through Medical Challenges

There have been moments when health concerns brought fear, uncertainty, and difficult decisions.

I still can’t think about Tom’s situation without getting a lump in my throat thinking about God’s graces during that time.

But we have seen it other moments like George being in the NICU, my hemorrhaging after Daphne’s birth, and Wally’s seizures.

All of these were scary and again moved us to have faith and lean on each other for strength. It was in these situations that our marriage was a lifeline because someone else was going through it with you and you could share the weight of it all.

In those moments, God met us with strength, wisdom, peace, and wove us even more together.

God’s Grace in Parenting

Perhaps nothing has stretched us, humbled us, or grown us more than becoming parents.

One of the greatest blessings of our marriage has been choosing each other as partners in parenthood. Before we ever held our babies, we each carried our own stories, experiences, traditions, and even wounds from childhood. Some things we wanted to recreate. Others we wanted to do differently. Parenting has a way of bringing all of that to the surface, inviting you to examine where you came from while deciding together where you want to go.

There have been countless conversations about the kind of family we hope to build, the values we want to pass on, and the cycles we want to break. We haven’t always approached things from the same perspective, but we’ve continued to learn from one another and grow together. In many ways, raising our children has also been a journey of healing and growth for us. It has given us the opportunity to extend grace to our younger selves, appreciate the sacrifices of those who raised us, and intentionally create a home rooted in love, faith, laughter, and security.

Looking back, I am so grateful not only for the children we have been entrusted with, but for the person standing beside me through every sleepless night, difficult decision, proud moment, and unexpected challenge. There is something sacred about building a family together, about taking two different histories and, with God’s help, creating a new legacy for the generations that follow.

God’s Presence in Navigating Relationships

Life is rarely complicated because of circumstances alone. More often, it is relationships that stretch us, shape us, and challenge us the most.

Family dynamics. Friendships. Misunderstandings. Seasons of hurt and healing, but also finding “our circle” of people.

Over the years, I’ve come to appreciate the saying that “people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” As we’ve moved, changed careers, navigated deployments, raised children, and grown into different versions of ourselves, we’ve experienced all three. Some relationships have stood the test of time and distance, becoming part of the foundation of our lives. Others served a purpose in a particular season, offering support, wisdom, or companionship when we needed it most. And some relationships required difficult conversations, changed over time, or came to an end altogether.

One of the gifts of marriage has been having a partner to walk through those moments with. We haven’t always viewed every relationship the same way, but we’ve learned to trust each other, support one another’s decisions, and extend grace as we worked through complicated dynamics with family, friends, and the communities around us.

Through it all, God has continually taught us that love and forgiveness can coexist with healthy boundaries. He has shown us when to hold on, when to seek reconciliation, and when to release relationships into His hands. In every season, He has used the people in our lives to teach us something about grace, humility, and what it means to love others well.

God’s Faithfulness in the Hardest Seasons

Some chapters were heavier than others.

The seasons where we didn’t know how things would turn out.
The seasons that tested our faith.
The seasons that revealed what we were truly made of.

  • Deployments
  • Moving
  • Layoffs
  • Babies
  • Sickness
  • Homebuying
  • Home Renovation
  • Church Exploration

When I look back now, I see that God never wasted any of it.

The Blessing of Growing Together

The greatest gift of these fifteen years isn’t the life we’ve built. It’s who we’ve become.

We are not the same people who stood at the altar fifteen years ago. Life has changed us. Parenthood has changed us. Challenges have changed us. God’s faithfulness has changed us.

And somehow, through all those versions of ourselves, we have continued to choose each other.

As I look back over fifteen years, my heart is filled with gratitude. Not because every season was easy, but because God was present in every season.

His provision.
His protection.
His grace.
His guidance.
His faithfulness.

Fifteen years later, those are the blessings I celebrate most.

Here’s to fifteen years of God’s goodness and whatever adventures He has planned for the years ahead.

Dear Husband

Dear Husband

Fourteen years.

It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed since we said “I do,” and yet, when I look at you, I still see the same man who made me laugh, made me feel safe, and made me believe in forever. What I didn’t know then was just how much that “forever” would teach us.

Fourteen years of marriage of growing up together, of figuring life out hand in hand. We’ve built a life full of ordinary moments that mean everything—shared glances across a crowded room, caffeine-fueled mornings, chaotic dinners with the kids, quiet nights when nothing really needed to be said and there are Office episodes to watch. And through all of it, one thing has stayed constant: us.

Staying connected hasn’t always been easy—especially in the seasons when life pulled us in a hundred directions. Work, kids, responsibilities… the noise of life can be loud. With the complexities we have experienced, especially over the past couple years, it would be easy to just fall apart. But somehow, we always found our way back to each other. In the small things. In the effort. In the choice to show up for each other, again and again.

You still make me feel chosen. You still make me feel wanted. And loved. And seen.

You always know how to lighten the mood with a perfectly-timed joke or sarcastic comment, and even when I try not to laugh—you get me every time. You have a way of talking all of us off our proverbial ledge and help us focus on reality. Your mind is sharp, your hands are capable, and I swear, you can fix anything. Whether it’s a broken toy, a car, or a rough day—you’ve got a way of putting things back together.

You’re the kind of dad I always hoped my kids would have—playful, patient, endlessly loving. You have made their childhood magical. They look at you like you hung the moon. And honestly, so do I. This life we have built together is nothing short of a miracle, and it is more than I ever dreamed of.

What I admire most, though, is who you are when no one is watching. Loyal. Ethical. Steadfast. Honest. People underestimate you all the time—and you just keep showing up, proving them wrong. There are so many little things that you do to improve the world around you that no one even knows you are doing. But I see you.

Thank you for being my steady when life gets messy. For showing up, not just as my husband, but as my teammate, and my safe place.

There’s a quiet kind of magic in a love that grows deeper over time. It doesn’t need grand gestures or perfect moments. It just needs care, commitment, and a whole lot of grace. And somehow, we’ve found all of that—together.

Fourteen years in, and I still choose you. I choose this life. I choose us.

Happy anniversary, my love. Here’s to every year that brought us closer—and to every year still to come.

Love always,

Steph

Year 8

Today Tom and I are celebrating EIGHT years of marriage.Holy Wow!

This is one of our first photos together twelve years ago, and we had no idea what was ahead.

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Eight years later we have experienced the marriage bliss, but things haven’t been all rainbows this year.

This has been a year of transitions.

We have been watching our kids transition.

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George started gymnastics and soccer. This forced transition on all of us. I had to let go of him more, and he had to learn structure with the new found freedom. This was a whole new adventure for us as parents. We also embarked on getting him enrolled in pre-school which is huge for him. I struggled more than I could have imagined with my little man growing up and out, and Tom as usual was a good balance to my anxiety.

Daphne transitioned from a baby to a toddler. We were concerned about her speech this past spring because she just wasn’t talking and only communicated in grunts and minimal sign language. However since birth, Daphie has operated on her own timeline and we are just all along for the ride. We got her assessed by a speech therapist a few months ago, and there were many emotions that went along with that testing. She did not qualify, which now isn’t even a concern because girl can say the whole alphabet (and identify the letters), all her colors, and has started counting, amongst all the other day to day words she now says.

And a man who indulges me in my need to have themes for our kids’ Halloween costumes is a keeper. We are on 4 years strong of famous Georges and 2 years of influential women.

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We watched two of our best friends transition into marriage. We could not have been more blessed to stand beside them on their days. It was also special for us since it was our first alone trips away from both kids.

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We transitioned into the time of our lives (finally) where we start making more permanent holiday traditions. We hosted our first 4th of July shin dig which is something we have been dreaming of since we first got together.

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We are slowly transitioning our house into a homestead. We now have chickens and a garden full of produce. These have made us stronger despite the fact that the garden sometimes makes us angry with each other. Tom keeps trying to make us farmers, and I keep reminding him that we are in fact not farmers. We do have 4 chickens, an orchard with 12 trees and 3 blackberry bushes, a corn “field,” a pumpkin patch, and 6 different vegetable beds. So there’s that…

Last summer, Tom switched jobs. While he is still in law enforcement, his job looks much different than he ever expected. While he lost some of the adrenaline rush and community influence he loved about being a street cop, he gained back his health and valuable time with his family. There is also something to be said about removing yourself from a toxic environment, which was where he was previously. We gained a static routine and he gained bedtimes with the kids. We have officially had more lunches together this year than we have in our entire marriage. It has been hard for Tom to leave the road and the shift work, but he started putting our family first. But even with the added time back with our family, things haven’t been easy for him, and there are many late night talks about where he wants to be and the choices to make. It’s been a hard path to the right end. It might not feel like we are in the right place all the time, but he knows he is right where he needs to be.

With this transition though, it has allowed us more freedom. We have been trying to find our place as a family within our community whether that is with friends or with our church. We aren’t having to add this whole other element of what the shift work did to our family.

Our marriage has transitioned into a comfortable relationship in all the best ways. We have had to put in the work to get here though. I heard this phrase sometime this year, “Marriage is a practice, not an institution. Love has to be renewed every day.” This has rang true this year. You hear a lot that a marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but I would say that we both have to be giving 100%. If one of us loses we both lose. So we each have to be giving our all to this marriage. While we are partners in this life, we both have to go all in and show our whole selves otherwise this won’t work. There may be times that one of us is struggling, however even in the struggle we need to be giving our whole self to be transparent about our feelings and needs even in those down times. There is no way for us to fully support each other without that openness and willingness to let each other see all of us. The good and the sad. So it is not an institution where we just show up when we want to and claim it as it is. It is something we have to get in to every single day and commit to constantly. There are ebbs and flows as with most things, but we commit 100% each day. Because of this comfortable relationship, we have been able to be there for each other because we feel the safety from each other and know that we can fall into each other despite our flaws.

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The days aren’t always easy, but it’s easy committing to you every day.

I love you more than yesterday and thank you for this life we have.

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Going to the Chapel…A Lot!

Summer is wedding season. And I love both summer and weddings, so naturally it is a fun time for me.

I love watching two people show their love and make that commitment of partnership.

I love seeing groups and communities rally behind them for support and encouragement. (It’s also fun seeing these groups intermingle.)

I love dancing, eating, and drinking-all of which are staples of most wedding celebrations.

I love seeing children dressed up in suits and flower girl dresses. I am already gearing George up to be the perfect ring bearer-any takers?

I love seeing the couple’s personality come through the little wedding details.

I love wedding cake.

I love singing/chanting the Clemson cadence count and Tiger Rag at weddings…oh wait that’s not a normal wedding activity? (Sorry Tom did not do very well catching the video of this little wedding wonderfulness that occurred at the last wedding we attended. Too good for video I guess.)

I love dressing up all classy-like just so I can cut a rug later.

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Golly! Isn’t my husband just as handsome as can be?

 Weddings are just great.

We had our fair share of wedding invites this year. We made a majority of them, but unfortunately there were a couple we were not able to make due to conflicting schedules. It has also been interesting attending these with my temporary latch-on, George. It has made the dressing up part, dancing the night away part, and other wedding festivities different. Not bad, but different. Don’t worry, I still boogied and ate my heart out at buffets, I just had to take more breaks than usual. It did give me more opportunity to people watch, which is fantastic fun at a wedding. The things seen…

Each time I am at a wedding it reminds me of my own marriage and the blessings I have because of it. It’s rejuvenating to witness someone else’s love and think, “Yep I have that too, and it is pretty great.”

I have talked a lot about weddings and marriage on this blog, but it never gets old!

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Wedding One in Iowa

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Wedding Two in Missouri

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Wedding Three in Oklahoma

We missed out on a wedding in Minnesota and South Carolina, but I am so excited for those couples and hope that they had the best day!

Our whirlwind travels to weddings is now done for the summer since this baby is due soon. After this weekend of being home for the 4th, we will be staying put probably until the holiday season. (We are welcoming visitors any time though!)

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I am a new mom, and she is a new wife! Yessss!

It was fantastic and amazing to be able to see old friends and celebrate a new beginning in their lives. I wish the best for each of the couples, and can’t wait to see how awesome their marriages are!

The Iowa Reunion Tour

Tom and I had a great time (expect all the driving) being in Iowa this past weekend.

It was kind of hit or miss last week whether Tom was going to be able to join me. Fortunately his pass was approved the day before we were scheduled to leave. Thank goodness because that 12 hour drive back would have been awful. Plus road trips are always better with him!

We had a wedding in northern Iowa for a former student of mine, but we decided to stop in Ames the day before to a) break up the trip and b) see our old home.

We lived in Iowa for 3 years. It was the start of our life as a married couple and became real adults. We made some great friends and had wonderful memories from our time there. Also, I believe Iowa is a hidden gem of the United States. I really loved it there.

It was hard to leave Iowa a year ago after Tom returned from deployment, but we knew that it had to end. It was great to be back in Ames and to see some lovely faces again.

We made the most of the afternoon we were in Ames by eating in some of our favorite restaurants.

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I definitely miss the college coffee houses and cafes.

We chatted with my old supervisors which was so great for me mentally. It reminded me of a time where I thrived professionally, and that someday I will have that again.

We were able to catch up with several of our old friends that night. It was awesome to be able to chat and pick up right where we left off. With Facebook, you can still follow along with people’s lives, but there is just something about being able to be face to face with people that does something for your soul. Lots of laughs were had!

We also went by our old digs. And I am not going to lie, I almost broke down in tears as we drove away from Friley I was so emotional, and I am not sure I can blame that on hormones.

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That building behind me was our home for 3 years. I love how big it is; you can’t get it all in one frame. Yes we lived in a giant residence hall. We were given a really nice apartment in there. Oh Friley.

I also was spoiled by my old neighbor/partner in crime who has been stocking my favorite ISU dining muffins. I swear these things have drugs in them, they are so addicting. (I am aware that they do not, and they are just really delicious.) We used to text each other when it was chocolate muffin day so we could fill up our to-go containers with just these goodies.

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Then we headed even further north for a wedding.

It was the first Catholic wedding I had ever been to, and Tom wasn’t too familiar either. We were fish out of water.

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When they had the congregation do the greetings where you apparently say “Peace Be With You” to each person you shake hands with, Tom instead introduced himself. The ladies in front of us were not impressed with, “Hi, I’m Tom.”

I also made a blunder when they recited the Lord’s prayer. FYI the Catholics do not say the whole thing! I did not know this. I just felt really proud of myself that I actually knew something they were doing, so I just went along merrily! Unfortunately, when the rest of the church stopped reciting, I kept going. Just me, practically sounding like I was screaming the end of the Lord’s prayer all by myself….Embarrassing.

There were quite a few of my former students at the wedding. It was so good to hear what is going on in their lives and where they have moved on to. Each of them had such a huge impact on my time there since we worked together practically every day and some of them for almost the entire time I was there. It was fun to see them all grown up!

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Sorry for the bad picture quality! They were all of my staff members at one point in Friley. And of course Tom was the odd resident of the building being neither staff or a student…

It was a fast trip since most of it consisted of us driving across the midwest. Let me tell you, road trips are not as fun when you are pregnant. At least the people on the other end made it all worth it!

Thank you to everyone we saw and made an awesome reunion for us!

Those of you who we didn’t see, I am just saying Tennessee is really pretty and we are happy to have visitors…