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As I sit here at the end of my birthday today, I can only smile at the life that I have been given.

There are certain moments of the year where I get reflective and take a moment to be thankful of what I have been given and my current place in life. Things have never been completely easy, and this last year was certainly not a walk in the park. However, my birthday has always been one of those times each year where I can pause and soak in my blessings, see how I have grown, and be thankful for those surrounding me.

This past year was a true testament of how investing in my own growth matters. It was the first year that I can honestly remember ever that my anxiety was not crippling. There were many trials this year that would have sent a younger me in a spiral. Now, has the constant overthinking stopped? Not at all. However, I have become more confident in who I am and learned strategies to knock away the self doubt.

I don’t have to be perfect. In fact, I am far from it. This year I am finally coming to terms with this. God uses broken leaders. There has been peace in finally accepting that I don’t have to be perfect all the time, and being broken doesn’t mean that I can’t still move forward. It only took me three decades to get here, but we all run our own race. (Hebrews 12:1 is one of my favorite verses.)

I talked about the start of my counseling journey last year after giving birth to Wally, and honestly that was a game changer for me. I have learned so much about how to truly accept myself and starting to understand I am not responsible for other people’s opinions. This is still a hard journey, but at 37 I am finally letting some of the things go instead of replaying old conversations that happened yesterday or even 20 years ago. It’s nice to look back at the post, and realize that the work that I have been putting in has been paying off.

I may not be the strongest, but I am stronger.

I may not be the wisest, but I am wiser.

I may not be the healthiest, but I am healthier.

I may not be the best, but I am happy with who I am.

There is not a quick fix in this life, and I am by no means perfect, but I am finally enjoying the journey. Intention has been my focus. I have learned this last year to control my thoughts more deliberately or to reconstruct them when my anxiety does settle in. I have learned to engage in projects with my whole self and know that I am there for a reason even if I don’t understand the why. I have learned how to be better than I was the day before, and even if I wasn’t there is humility and peace in trying again in the next moment. I have learned how to believe in myself.

In the end, I have my family and a purpose in life greater than I could have ever imagined. If my kids were to look back on this moment, I want them to be proud of who I am, and I finally feel at ease with that thought.

So here is to another year around the sun as broken as ever, but more free than ever before.

Daphne Turns Three!

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Today my baby girl is three. It’s hard to believe that this sweet girl is now such a big girl. She is less and less like a toddler every day. To honor her today, I wanted to share three words that I feel perfectly describes this gal.

Independent

She has always done things in her own time frame including her own birth. She came out early and hasn’t stopped doing things at her own pace since. She is constantly telling us that she can do things on her own. She rarely asks for help, and she is the most determined person I know. She is constantly learning and pushing herself to be a big girl. I think the perfect example is watching this girl push herself on the tree swing. She is most content when she does things for herself. She is ambitious and curious, and I love seeing her come into her own power. But again, she will let you know when she is ready. And I love her confidence about that, and I pray that she always feels free and knows her worth.

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Headstrong

Along with her independence, this girl’s will is nothing to mess with. She is as stubborn as a mule. This comes with positives because of that determination but can be also extremely frustrating when she tries to out wait you on something. Her tantrums can last for hours, but that stamina also plays really well for her when she is learning something new. When she puts her mind to something she will find a way to do it. She is uncompromising when it comes to what she wants. She also knows how to fight for what she wants. This girl can hold her own with George and often leaves him in her dust. Daph is not going to buy into something that she doesn’t find meaning in, and she stands by her opinions. She has such conviction when she decides to do something or stand for something, and this makes me excited to see how she is going to change the world.

Purposeful

These words all seem to over lap, but I feel that with her feelings she is very intentional with what she shares. She can be guarded and shy, but when she lets you into her inner circle she is never letting you go. She loves big, and to feel her love is nothing short of amazing. There is no one she loves more than her stuffies. She has names for them all, and often does roll call to make sure she knows where they all are. She is always mothering them and carrying at least one stuffie around at all times. She rarely cuddles with anyone, but lately she has been sneaking in our bed in the middle of the night to be close to her mommy and daddy. She says the sweetest things and has the most perfect timing and delivery. She has purpose with everything she does, and you can see those wheels turning as she is processing things around her. It is amazing to see how smart and careful she is with her feelings.

Daphie Girl, you inspire me every day. I am honored to be your mommy, and you are always amazing me with who you are becoming. You are going to do incredible things my dearest.

I asked George what he loved about his sister, and he said that she eats a lot and is funny.

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Lego Birthday Party

It only seemed natural to have a Lego birthday party for our boy this year. He is obsessed with all things Lego and building is his favorite past time.

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It was one of he easiest parties we have put together mostly due to the fact that Legos are so popular. It was simple to find all the things I needed, and usually at a great price because I could actually shop around.

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We brought all of George’s Legos and used them for all kinds of decorations. We put a handful at each table so kids (or adults) could DIY the table centerpieces.

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I got the tablecloth and balloons from Amazon. My sister-in-law made the sign. It’s handy to have artsy people in the family!

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These cute little crayons were our party favors. The boxes I got a the Dollar Store, and then the crayons I got on Etsy and Amazon.

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I got the cake and cupcakes from Hy-Vee. And then these little sweet-tart Lego candies from Amazon. We still have tons of these candies!

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George picked out the candles himself at the Dollar Store.

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Whatever Legos weren’t being used for the centerpieces, we just had them out for everyone to create.  I used extra tablecloths on the walls for more decoration in the Lego creation areas. We had everything from Mega Blocks, Duplos, and little Legos. The kids seemed to really love it, and I loved watching George with his friends and family making things.

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Not to toot my own horn, but the pinata was the best idea I had for this party. Amazon had a Lego one, so it was perfect. The pinata itself came with little toys and then we just bought big candy bags to stuff the pinata. The pinata also came with a stick and a blindfold.

One of the “birthday packs” on Amazon that came with the balloons and tablecloth also came with these party bags which were perfect for picking up the guts of the pinata.  This was so fun, and great for all ages! Watch the video at the end for snippets of it!

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Daphne’s shirt actually came from my in-laws when George was her age. So it was the perfect hand-me down for the event!

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George’s shirt was perfect for the event with its Lego stitching. I am sad that he has already outgrown it! I got it on Etsy.

This was also the first time we opened gifts in front of people, and George’s reactions delivered!

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This kid’s spirit only grows as each year passes. It was so fun to watch him with all the things and people he loves at his party.

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Here is a fun video recapping the day.

And to keep the videos going, here is a recap of his fifth year!

Space Birthday Party

It’s my M.O. to get behind documenting birthdays, so here we are 2 months after the fact for George’s 4th birthday.

Better late than never.

Tom is obsessed with space so when George was little, I started collecting all the space books I could for the two of them to read together. And George has also grown to love all things space, so it was only fitting to have this as one of his themes.

It was out of this world!

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My mom drew this sign. She is so talented!

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I got these treat boxes on Etsy, here. I just filled them with candy (Milky Ways, Starbursts and a star whistle). While they are cute, they take forever to cut out. If my mom had not been so patient with them, Tom and I would have given up after 2 rockets. They are a beast to put together.

My sister-in-law put together these centerpieces. Aren’t they cute with George cutouts on the planets?

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My sister-in-law also owns blow up planets for her classroom, so they came in handy for our decorations.

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I did pretty basic on the food. I got these cookies from Hy-Vee. However, I don’t think I will do that again because they were pretty pricey. Their cakes are where they are at anyway.

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As per usual, we had it in the church gym. It is so easy to do here. We had a couple activities in the gym. Daphne was just having a blast running around living her best life.

One activity was this cardboard rocket that the kids could color. I had gotten it for my niece years ago off Zulily. She gifted it down to George, so it was perfect to bring out. Unfortunately, it did not make it past the party.

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I got these balloons from Wish for like a dollar, so it was a steal! I am kicking myself for not buying more than one packet because George still asks for these.

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My mom made this meteor toss game. Seriously, she made it out of our trash and a little spray paint.

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We decided to go all out on this party, and we got a bounce house. It was totally worth every penny. Although for the size of the thing, I really paid nothing!

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I got this astronaut outfit on Amazon from Melissa and Doug. We love dress up in our house, so this has gone into our dress up box.

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My mom put aluminum foil over some rain boots. It turned out just perfect! (Also my mom was the real MVP of this party.)

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We had the best time celebrating our boy!

Putting together his birthdays are so much fun. He is the best.

Apparently so much fun, that we forgot a family photo…whoops!

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A Baseball First Birthday Party

For George’s birthday, I wanted to do a classic baseball theme. I found these signs at Hobby Lobby last fall (on sale), and that was what started my thought process of the party planning.

11915128_10100890814468031_3876643987451444464_oI have been collecting things over the past 6 months, and then the past month we made the last minute touches.

So here is a look at our celebration of George’s first year.

1495287_10100890815146671_6681852672207887605_oLet’s start with the decorations.

12002413_10100890814248471_7457861057421633721_oThese were our centerpieces. I was able to get a pound of peanuts for $2 at our local grocery store. A pound goes a loooong way. Real baseballs were expensive, so I bought these stress balls instead for super super cheap. I think I got 24 for less than I could get one real baseball. We also had sunflower seed bags and Big League Chew gum that people could take. And of course a little Royals flair had to show up.

12002421_10100890814333301_3635579347020662466_oI really wanted to emphasize how far George has come, so the month to month pictures with the NICU picture was a must. The tags say “Rookie Year.” We made these with our Cricut and a punch out device.

11922956_10100890815705551_1934204914936988137_oWe printed these large architecture prints at Staples for cheap. I took the first baseball one when he was a couple weeks old. The middle picture is one of our favorites, and he was 6 months then. The last one is from his invitation shoot when he was 11 months old. Tom and I made that dugout sign. When George graduates to a big boy bed, we are going to change his decor to a baseball theme, so this will eventually go in there. I will share how we did that later this week!

11894504_10100890815745471_8853660199750160468_oThat mitt is actually a pool floatie that my sister-in-law found online.

11935134_10100890814168631_24198640669325182_oI saw this autograph idea on Pinterest, and it was just too cute not to do. We made the sign using our Cricut and a pre-made scrapbooking sheet.

10429494_10100890813759451_2016854847409029975_nThis is the cupcake stand. Tom made this, and I helped with the baseball stitches. I will share this soon too!

10699694_10100890814812341_800984713648129066_oThis scoreboard is another piece that will go in George’s room. It is a chalkboard sign, so eventually we see George playing with that as his imagination grows.

11999750_10100890814562841_2134369407922666121_oI found a picnic table cloth that looks like grass so we could do the cake smash on it easily instead of doing a high chair. My SIL got the idea to have a grandstand behind him once I told her about the grass. She found that wall hanging and the blow-up catcher on Zulily I believe.

For the food, we did hot dogs of course, but I wanted it to be pretty low key and easy to prepare. We also had popcorn, a fruit and veggie tray, cookies, Hostess cakes, ice cream, and cake pops.

11823033_10100890813894181_3897622861416448086_oWe made this sign to make it be a “concession” stand.

11922848_10100890814487991_2627504259060178010_oWe had it in our church gym, and the kitchen opens up nicely to add to the concession ambiance.

12002487_10100890814068831_4531515354860644404_oMy SIL has a cookie lady who does an AMAZING job decorating cookies. Seriously, look at those things! We also found Hostess baseball cakes which are on our nicely made baseball theme cupcake stand. My father-in-law found the KC Royals peanut bags at a local grocery store, so obviously we had to have those added! I found the Royals napkins at party store here, and there are also regular baseball ones.

12002621_10100890814847271_8820623049336009798_oMy SIL, the party planner, also has a cake pop lady, so yep these happened.

11953530_10100890815605751_1451344335719024023_oThese were our party favors. I just made balls that say, “Thanks for Coming! Hope You Had a Ball!” I made them in Publisher and printed them out myself. Easy peasy. I got a bulk box of them off Amazon for like 10 bucks.

Since there are a lot of kids in our family, we knew we had to have something for them to do to get all the sillies out. So we had inflatable balls and bats just thrown all over the gym. They had a “ball.”

11952796_10100890815670621_1129773986657203551_oMy SIL found these online in a 12 pack, which covered all the kiddos in case they didn’t want to share. And same with the baseball beach balls.

11936507_10100890815016931_2986832896686764566_o 11934968_10100890815121721_3675045106625245992_o 11928712_10100890815001961_7861883815618159264_oSo I bought this little bloomer outfit when George was like 4 months old, and let’s just say it’s a good thing he only wore if for a couple hours. It was a tad snug. 11226056_10100890815481001_294038128549587501_o 11227588_10100890815555851_6063895141694271798_o 11958050_10100890815426111_171671363350497930_oI mean this shirt was just calling my name. Especially when I got it for $4. He wore this after he dabbled in the icing.

12002358_10100890815406151_2526204293931605475_oTom made the baseball cake.

11227566_10100890815306351_580281061381427075_oDoesn’t the backdrop look awesome?

11937031_10100890815391181_3689082686254034623_oThe nice thing about doing it at the church was that it had an industrial kitchen with a big sink perfect for hosing George down.

10669051_10100890814108751_5408306421864629906_oThis is George’s great-grandma who is 96.

11823050_10100890814667631_8620753340258403849_oThese are George’s only first cousins, one from my side and one from Tom’s. I love that we were able to have them both there!

11947912_10100890814747471_8642003758167197522_oYes Tom is awesome for agreeing to match me in these baseball tees that were basically heat traps. Seriously so much sweat…

Tom and I love this little man. We are amazed by him every single day. We are so blessed, and we never knew how much our hearts would grow to let him in. I know George won’t remember this day, but this celebration was also to thank all of our family and friends for being there and supporting us in our first year as parents.

Can’t wait to see where year 2 takes us. We are oh so curious at what big things will happen.

Like talking. George said his first word this week. He said ‘mama!’

We had so much fun putting this baseball party together and celebrating George!