It is what it is

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Year 5

Five years.

So much happens in that amount of time. When I look back on our marriage we have lived a life in just these short five years.

But five years also seems like a huge milestone to come to.

After a pretty rocky year four, Tom and I were ready to settle into this year and enjoy being married again.

We did a lot of adulting this year.

  • We bought a house.
  • We hosted two holidays (Christmas and Easter) for the first time.
  • Tom started the process for VA disability benefits. We are almost a year out from when we started it, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight to when they will be rating him. There are lots of doctors’ visits involved and dealing with the VA beaucracy. Another post for another day maybe.
  • We started our long list of home improvements.

We are loving our home. While we are still learning the quirks of the house and making plans to update certain things to our liking, we are still so happy with our choice to have our family here. The dogs love it, and George is going to have so many memories here.

George had a huge year as well. He went from our little baby to a very mobile and spirited toddler.

  • He started walking.

  • He turned one, and we celebrated with a huge party and lots of cake.

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  • He was Curious George for Halloween.

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  • He has had all kinds of sickness this year:  several ear infections, several trips to Urgent Care and one week long stay in the PICU, and most recently had the worst case of Hand Foot and Mouth. Needless to say we are ready for a month without him coming down with something.

 We have been able to spend a great amount time with family.

  • We visited my parents at their lake house, and we gave George his first boat experience. It was also nice to get up on skis again.
  • We took our first road trip with Tom’s family, where George charmed us all with his dancing skills at a wedding.
  • We actually were able to start enjoying our town and have gone to several festivals and explored a many of trails.

This was our year to be fans. I had so much fun watching my teams play and be on highlight reels. Very exciting times. It also made me glad that we own a home because there was a lot of screaming.

  • Our Royals went back to the World Series and won it this time! Still gives me goosies.
  • The Chiefs made it to the playoffs, which they have not done for a really long time.
  • Clemson made it to the National Championship game.

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Maybe this next year will be the year for spirit chants for Gman.

Our careers really picked up for both of us. It’s like we are living different lives finally being in jobs that fulfill us professionally. Tom was finally on the road solo, and he is sweeping the crime away from this city. We also experienced the first scare of a work injury. We also have figured out how to work within the constraints of his shifts. My job is amazing. I feel challenged regularly (in a good way), and the office I work with is really a dream team. Very rarely is there a day that I don’t enjoy being at work, and I am proud of the things we are accomplishing there.

I feel like this year I really took back my fitness for me and started doing things that felt good but kept me active. I also PR’ed on a 10K.

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This year we noticed that when we could have that focus on who we are as individuals and feel valued for our efforts, it really made a giant difference in who we were as a married couple. I think it is so important for couple to realize that you have to do work to be an individual separately from your couple identity. This is really the first year that one of us hasn’t felt a huge struggle in our career, and I think that had a direct impact as this was one of our best years married. This may not be true for others, but for us we needed to develop ourselves before we could be good for each other. It was the first year that I think we felt like we could breathe.

And in those breathes we were able to have a great year.

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Full of memories and moving forward.

But also we were able to stand still and enjoy a lot more.

Life is truly beautiful, and so is our marriage.

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If you want to read more about our love story, there are links documenting each step here.

 

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What We Love About Each Other

Yesterday we talked about those little quirks that irk us about each other. Today we will flip the tables and talk about some of the things we love about each other.

We’ll try not to get too ooey-gooey.

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What I love about Tom…

  1. His woodworking skills. I love that he can make anything, and I do mean anything. His imagination and ingenuity is bar-none. It is coming in real handy with our house, and watching him and George bond over it is becoming one of my favorite things to witness. (Just wait until you see all the mini tools George has…post coming soon.)
  2. His humor is one that will make milk shoot out of noses. I often am left in the wake of his wit. I just can’t keep up with the daily talks with Tom, but they often lift my spirits and can make any serious moment not seem so serious. Sometimes the humor is crude, but I think it is always in an effort to bring some fun to the table and help people (like myself) not to be hoity-toity all the time. I appreciate his ability to make me smile every time I need it.
  3. His loyalty is pretty hardcore. I am always impressed with his willingness to go all in for a cause. His dedication to his city, his country, and his family is rare. He has no hesitation going to bat for the things that he holds dear. I don’t know if there are a lot of people out there that are willing to sacrifice what he will in order to protect those that he loves. He has stuck by me in some pretty rotten times, and for that I owe him all the love in the world.

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What Tom loves about me…

  1. She is an awesome wife and mom. I don’t think I could put into words at how great she is. She is so legit. (Too legit to quit.)
  2. At the very least, she seems to appear to reserve judgements about some of my opinions about politics and humanity in general that are often shocking to say the least. I appreciate that personal leeway.
  3. The level of trust that we have. I don’t feel the need to go through emails or phone and we have joint accounts. I know everything is the way that it is supposed to be.

Tom also went on to say that he could go on and on but it would also be hard to wrap it up in words what I mean to him. And the collective awww..

What are things that you love about your partner?

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Our Pet Peeves

Are you ready for Anniversary week? Well get ready for posts all about Tom and I this week  since we are celebrating 5 years of marriage bliss.

Every relationship has those little things that drive us crazy, so I hope that you either find these humorous or you can relate in some way (hopefully both).

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What Tom does that drives me bonkers…

  1. He leaves lights on everywhere, especially in the basement and our bathroom. I hardly ever go down to the basement, so I never notice unless I come home after it’s dark. He feels the need to have the lights on at ALL times of the day, even midday when we have the perfect amount of natural light.
  2. He leaves shaker cups with shake remnants in the sink. That’s not even the bad part. He puts the lids on so tight that I can’t get them off, but then he refuses to rinse them out because of the smell. So gross. So gross.
  3. He still uses his childhood comforter. Guys this blanket is blue and green plaid and faded, and I am sure crawling with dust mites even though I sanitize wash it every other week. My vision of a beautiful made up bed will always be thwarted because of this blanket that he refuses to get rid of…that and the fact that our two dogs make it impossible to have a made up bed. I have tried to replace it with nice new very comfy spreads, and this old comforter always makes its way out of the linen closet and back on to the bed. The decision for us to have two blankets on the bed may have saved our marriage.

What I do that drives Tom bananas…

  1. She waits until I am settled and reading something online before she asks me to do things. I could be standing in the kitchen for 45 minutes, but she wont ask me to take out the trash until the moment I sit down on the couch. She could have not talked to me for 2 hours, but I will start reading an article and somewhere in her subconscious seems to be a radar that this is the time for me to do all the things she needs me to do.  (I am really bad about this…even though I swear I am not doing it on purpose.)
  2. She doesn’t always look at me when I am talking. I know she could be listening while she is doing other things or even be running to another room to grab something. But it doesn’t feel like she is listening.
  3. Volume. She listens to the TV so loud. (It’s true, I am losing my hearing due to wax build up with my weird shaped ear canals. It’s a medical issue, but thanks for bringing it up Tom.) It is a problem though when we are home on the weekends when Tom has to sleep during the day.  I can barely hear the TV, and Tom can hear it clear as a bell in the back room.

What are the quirks about your partner that irk you?

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35 Before 35 Update

I know that I do not have much to update this month, but the thought of having a month missing on my list gives me heebeegeebees. So here it is. No one is perfect.

1. Crochet something else besides blankets or scarves at least once a year (2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020)

2. Do a photography challenge (Took pictures once a week George’s first year)

3. Visit 5 cities I have never been to before (8/5)

4. Tour at least one a winery, brewery, or distillery

5. Send at least 5 snail mail a month

6. Become a “professional” photographer

7. Run at least 10 races (any distance) (6/10)

8. Go camping with Tom

9. Pay for the car behind me in a drive through

10. See Tyrone Wells live as many times as possible

11. Tour Fort Defiance here in Clarksville

12. Water ski with my dad

13. Do a 5K with my mom

14. Take a swing dance class with Tom

15. Read at least one fun book a month and one professional development book every three months

16. Take a pottery or stained glass class

17. Do one new recipe each month

18. See both a Clemson and UCM football game live

19. Find a place to volunteer on a regular basis

20. Go hiking

21. Ride in a hot air balloon

22. Go to at least 20 “new to me” restaurants. (32/20)

23. Stay at a bed and breakfast

24. Spend a day without electronics (phone, t.v. and computer)

25. Do something unique and new for my birthdays

26. Explore Nashville while we live here

27. Watch at least 10 movies that I have not seen before that won Best Picture at the Oscars and at least 20 documentaries (not necessarily Oscar winning) Movies (3/10); Documentaries (7/20)

28. Sew an item of clothing from scratch

29. Do a personal devotional/bible study on my own

30. Be a mascot for an event

31. Go on our honeymoon (preferably somewhere tropical)

32. Host an annual NCAA Basketball Tournament Championship game party

33. Go on a mission trip

34. Be on a recreation volleyball team

35. Become a mom

Yes to doing one thing on the list. Sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose some. Here’s to next time.

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June Goals

I really enjoyed myself this last month. It’s always good to reflect on yourself and make sure you are enjoying life. Isn’t that what birthdays are for?

Anyway, I think I also did some damage to my goals…in a good way.

 Recap on my May goals

  • Fitness-get at least one day with 25,000 steps. I got this the first weekend! Then my steps when downhill from there, but I did get it that one time!
  • House Tasks-
    • Hang up photos in our bedroom-Friends! We finally got these up. This picture doesn’t do the room justice on the change it made. It only took us 5 months…
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    • Get the basement visitor ready-We got this mostly done. We have to hang the shower curtain in the bathroom, but we cleaned out a lot of the construction trash and straightened up and organized things . So I would say this is progress!
    • Put in flower beds off our porch-This didn’t happen yet. One it has rained a lot this month which makes any project difficult. And two we have changed our minds several times on how we want to lay it out once we saw how we may use it with friends over. So we may wait a little longer to see if there are any other tweaks to our design we want to make to make sure it is fully functionally for what we need.
    • Dig up flowers to put in tree beds-I blame it on the rain and the fact that Tom and I had almost no days off that were the same this month. So no we did not do this.
    • Tear down the creeper shed-Can I blame it on the rain again? I think this is just going to be put on the back burner until we have some other yard projects done. Until then we will use it to get some aggression out when needed. 
  • Something with George-Have a play-date with one of my mom friends. We did have some friends over who have an almost toddler. While it wasn’t a mom date since our hubbies were there, I think having another kid over for George was good for him. We also had Tom’s entire squad and their families over for a BBQ, so he got to interact with a lot of kids then too. He is really jealous of sharing Mom and Dad, so I think all this interaction on his own turf is good for him.
  • Something with Tom-Go to the restaurant in our little town. We did not do this. Other than my birthday weekend, we didn’t have any weekends off together. 
  • Something for me-Blog about my favorite things. I am actually really surprised I did as many as I did. I hope you all enjoyed it because it was great for me to be in this space every day. 

Not so bad. About 50/50. Let’s see what I can do this month.

June Goals

  •  Fitness-
    • I found some BodyPump videos that I want to try out. I miss BodyPump so my goal is to do it once a weekend.
    • Go through Jessica Smith’s Walk-a-Thon twice. There are 8 videos, so I think this is completely doable right?
  • House Tasks-
    • Finish Living Room Wall-I have a gallery wall I want to do, but we have to make one thing before that can be finished. Pallet boards are in my future!
    • Fix the flower beds around the trees-we have to do something new. THe rocks are not working out with the lawn mower
    • Get the basement visitor ready-We just need to top off the bathroom!
    • Clean the craft room-This seriously needs to happen. I want to make things!
  • Something with George
    • George starts swim lessons this month. (I know! How can he be old enough for that business?) We were gifted a blow up pool, so my goal is to get that out this month.
    • I also want to get out the bubbles. I think he is old enough now to actually enjoy them more, so it is time to play!
  • Something with Tom-We celebrate our anniversary this month. Even though it is Year FIVE, we just want to do something simple. We want to go to a dinner and a movie.
  • Something for me-I am going to be very vague here, but there are some things that I need to do this month for me. Tom’s pep talk to me was “If you can birth a baby out of your vagina, you can do this.” Yep. That’s it. I just need to have the confidence to advocate for myself this month.

 

 

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