It is what it is

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Bachelorette JoJo Week 4

And we’re baaaaack! I didn’t know what to do with myself last week with the hiatus. Here are my thoughts on this week’s episode.

 

  • The protein ashes ceremony to say goodbye to Chad. My mind is just a mess of thoughts from that. Wow.
  • Actually you will see Chad again guys..It’s called the “Men Tell All” episode.
  • I can only shake my head at Chad. I also think they made this interaction to be a lot bigger than it was on the previews. Anti-climatic folks.
  • Jordan kind of turned me off with his “trying to be a bigger guy” conversation with Chad.
  • This celebrating Chad going home is turning into a weird party…but it’s nice they are all bros.
  • CHAD’S GOING TO BE IN PARADISE? WHY?!?!?!
  • They certainly have made this season about Chad, and now they can only still talk about Chad.
  • There are hidden agendas since you are all going after the same girl. You wouldn’t share game plays with the opposing team.
  • Chase getting those big bumper things was really cute. Way to lighten the mood.
  • Now Evan needs to go.
  • What is it with people writing poems on this show? Do these guys really write them outside of this realm?
  • I can’t blame these guys with roses already trying to get more time. This is an arena that you are trying to marry this lady. As Jordan said, “I am in this for me.”
  • Did anyone else catch that JoJo shortened the “rose ceremony” to “see you at the rose?” Man the English language has gotten lazy.
  • I think men’s dress shoes are sometimes weird looking and are big like clown shoes.
  • Of course you don’t know what she is thinking because you don’t know her.
  • Ughhhh, why Evan.
  • Daniel’s exit interview. Yes your personality stinks, and so do your comebacks. Better luck getting hit by lightning while you are shaving?
  • Ok so add Uruguay to places I would like to visit.
  • Man, they all looked pissed when Jordan got the one on one.
  • They sure did turn on Jordan fast with not trusting him.
  • Wait wait! I didn’t know they could have magazines! And now they are turning on JoJo.
  • Tom says that this is shady. That out of millions of Americans, JoJo is magically going to meet Jordan’s ex-girlfriend. Right…
  • This conversation about Jordan’s ex was awkward, but I think it is good to address it since he wasn’t mature during that relationship.
  • The fame that goes with this show can obviously be hard on people who have not been part of it before. That article by her ex seems awful and from what she is saying all for money.
  • That was nice that they comforted JoJo, but just 10 hours earlier they were not on her side…Also did it look like she was straining to make real tears to anyone else?
  • I thought they would be on dune buggies. Sand surfing sounds cool, but looks very dangerous (says the mom).
  • Luke seems very supportive, and they (him and JoJo) seem to mesh really well.
  • The jealousy has to be running rampant at this point.
  • Y’all are coming apart at the seams.
  • I would not want to jump off that cliff without knowing what I am jumping into.
  • I am not sure what Alex’s angle is…but his cockiness is off-putting. He is becoming the new bad guy for me.
  • How can Robbie say that he loves her when this is their first actual date?
  • Sometimes I think the guys have more drama than the gals.
  • I think Derek has merit to confront these guys, but I would have maybe done it one on one because people like Alex seem to thrive on the power of the group.
  • I love JoJo’s green dress.
  • Oh Evan…I feel bad for you dude.
  • Vinny, I just didn’t see that crying coming. Poor guy.
  • AHHHH does she love two people?

My favorites: Luke, James Taylor, and Chase.

As always I love this show.

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Things You May Not Know

In a (long) continuation of anniversary week, here are some things you may not know about Tom and I.

Here is what Tom wanted to share.

  • When I got out of the Army, I made an iTunes playlist that was the exact length of the trip home. It involved the chronological order of all my favorite songs over my entire life. The only two mismatched songs were “The Best Day of My Life” by American Authors that I played driving through the gate at Ft. Campbell, and then “It Feels Like Today” by Rascal Flats as I drove over the bridge from Illinois to Missouri. Freedom.
  • 75% of the time when I go to my shop, I have no project in mind. I just stand in the middle of the shop and stare at my tools until something pops into my head.
  • I have waited my whole life to build a gym at my own house for two reasons: I want to listen to songs that would be embarrassing if I listened to them out-loud around other people like Cher or Selena. (Guys I got a little concert of Tom singing these songs to me, so for that this post was worth it.) The second reason is to wear flip flops when I work out.
  • I have a deep compassion for animals. If I see an animal in need, I feel compelled to help them. I stop my police car with lights to help a turtle across the road. However, I hate birds. I feel like they are mocking me when they come into our yard. I really really hate cowbirds and sparrows, but I like owls so much. I am sad that they don’t want to be my friend.

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Here are some things you may not know about me.

  • I talk in my sleep. Apparently this past weekend I got into an argument with Tom about people wearing gloves. We have some gems over the last decade. One time I screamed, “Basketball Time” out of nowhere.
  • I got into a fight at recess when I was in 3rd grade. We were playing Power Rangers, and us girls went all women power on the two guys we were playing with (one who happened to be my neighbor). I ripped my neighbor’s shirt and we all got sent to the principle’s office. It was the only time I was ever sent there for not good behavior. I am sure now I would have been suspended for something like that-I would have been mortified. Even so, I was devastated that my good record was tarnished, and even more horrified when my parents made me go apologize to my neighbor’s mom when I got home. My dad still mocks me for this indiscretion.
  • I have a scuba diving license, but I have only ever dived in lakes in Missouri. This is a class that I took in college as my PE credit.
  • I have worn glasses since the 5th grade, but prior to that I begged my parents for glasses. I remember crying that I didn’t have them and wearing my parents’ glasses when they weren’t looking. I was weird, and didn’t realize that glasses would give people reason to make fun of me in those wonderful years of middle school. This is the face of naivety circa 1995 a few month after getting spectacles.

Christmas 95-018

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The Do It Dad

When Tom gets a project in his mind, he just does it.

And when the project is for George, there is no stopping him.

He loves taking Gdubs out to the shop with him. George is also obsessed with the shop so it works out. Whenever he gets out of the car, he starts sprinting towards the garage and throws a fit if he can’t get in there. Clarification, George is the one sprinting. Tom is the grown-up here.

George tries to open the door himself.

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George loves to help Tom. It started out with Tom making George a mini shovel, and it has spiraled into Tom making an entire set of miniature tools and machines for him out of spare wood.

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George is very aware of what each machine does and wants to be part of the process.

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This is where his independence sores.

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While he has no fear in this shop, he is fairly respectful of the capabilities of these items.

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He surprisingly has not gotten hurt once out here. The driveway however is a different beast. He is going to be covered in scrapes and bruises his whole life because he tries going faster than his little legs will carry him.

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Watching them bond is so very special.

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Tom is so good with him out here and makes sure to create an experience that George thrives in and will enjoy.

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Nothing is sweeter than watching my blue-eyed babes.

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He is growing up before our eyes, so these moments out in the shop are priceless.

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There are so many lessons yet to be had out here I am sure. It’s moments like this when he is out here kicking it with his dad that I will cherish forever.

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Also George climbed up this gate all by himself. So either we start teaching him as he sprints forward, or who knows what he will get into.

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Year 5

Five years.

So much happens in that amount of time. When I look back on our marriage we have lived a life in just these short five years.

But five years also seems like a huge milestone to come to.

After a pretty rocky year four, Tom and I were ready to settle into this year and enjoy being married again.

We did a lot of adulting this year.

  • We bought a house.
  • We hosted two holidays (Christmas and Easter) for the first time.
  • Tom started the process for VA disability benefits. We are almost a year out from when we started it, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight to when they will be rating him. There are lots of doctors’ visits involved and dealing with the VA beaucracy. Another post for another day maybe.
  • We started our long list of home improvements.

We are loving our home. While we are still learning the quirks of the house and making plans to update certain things to our liking, we are still so happy with our choice to have our family here. The dogs love it, and George is going to have so many memories here.

George had a huge year as well. He went from our little baby to a very mobile and spirited toddler.

  • He started walking.

  • He turned one, and we celebrated with a huge party and lots of cake.

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  • He was Curious George for Halloween.

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  • He has had all kinds of sickness this year:  several ear infections, several trips to Urgent Care and one week long stay in the PICU, and most recently had the worst case of Hand Foot and Mouth. Needless to say we are ready for a month without him coming down with something.

 We have been able to spend a great amount time with family.

  • We visited my parents at their lake house, and we gave George his first boat experience. It was also nice to get up on skis again.
  • We took our first road trip with Tom’s family, where George charmed us all with his dancing skills at a wedding.
  • We actually were able to start enjoying our town and have gone to several festivals and explored a many of trails.

This was our year to be fans. I had so much fun watching my teams play and be on highlight reels. Very exciting times. It also made me glad that we own a home because there was a lot of screaming.

  • Our Royals went back to the World Series and won it this time! Still gives me goosies.
  • The Chiefs made it to the playoffs, which they have not done for a really long time.
  • Clemson made it to the National Championship game.

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Maybe this next year will be the year for spirit chants for Gman.

Our careers really picked up for both of us. It’s like we are living different lives finally being in jobs that fulfill us professionally. Tom was finally on the road solo, and he is sweeping the crime away from this city. We also experienced the first scare of a work injury. We also have figured out how to work within the constraints of his shifts. My job is amazing. I feel challenged regularly (in a good way), and the office I work with is really a dream team. Very rarely is there a day that I don’t enjoy being at work, and I am proud of the things we are accomplishing there.

I feel like this year I really took back my fitness for me and started doing things that felt good but kept me active. I also PR’ed on a 10K.

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This year we noticed that when we could have that focus on who we are as individuals and feel valued for our efforts, it really made a giant difference in who we were as a married couple. I think it is so important for couple to realize that you have to do work to be an individual separately from your couple identity. This is really the first year that one of us hasn’t felt a huge struggle in our career, and I think that had a direct impact as this was one of our best years married. This may not be true for others, but for us we needed to develop ourselves before we could be good for each other. It was the first year that I think we felt like we could breathe.

And in those breathes we were able to have a great year.

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Full of memories and moving forward.

But also we were able to stand still and enjoy a lot more.

Life is truly beautiful, and so is our marriage.

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If you want to read more about our love story, there are links documenting each step here.

 

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What We Love About Each Other

Yesterday we talked about those little quirks that irk us about each other. Today we will flip the tables and talk about some of the things we love about each other.

We’ll try not to get too ooey-gooey.

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What I love about Tom…

  1. His woodworking skills. I love that he can make anything, and I do mean anything. His imagination and ingenuity is bar-none. It is coming in real handy with our house, and watching him and George bond over it is becoming one of my favorite things to witness. (Just wait until you see all the mini tools George has…post coming soon.)
  2. His humor is one that will make milk shoot out of noses. I often am left in the wake of his wit. I just can’t keep up with the daily talks with Tom, but they often lift my spirits and can make any serious moment not seem so serious. Sometimes the humor is crude, but I think it is always in an effort to bring some fun to the table and help people (like myself) not to be hoity-toity all the time. I appreciate his ability to make me smile every time I need it.
  3. His loyalty is pretty hardcore. I am always impressed with his willingness to go all in for a cause. His dedication to his city, his country, and his family is rare. He has no hesitation going to bat for the things that he holds dear. I don’t know if there are a lot of people out there that are willing to sacrifice what he will in order to protect those that he loves. He has stuck by me in some pretty rotten times, and for that I owe him all the love in the world.

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What Tom loves about me…

  1. She is an awesome wife and mom. I don’t think I could put into words at how great she is. She is so legit. (Too legit to quit.)
  2. At the very least, she seems to appear to reserve judgements about some of my opinions about politics and humanity in general that are often shocking to say the least. I appreciate that personal leeway.
  3. The level of trust that we have. I don’t feel the need to go through emails or phone and we have joint accounts. I know everything is the way that it is supposed to be.

Tom also went on to say that he could go on and on but it would also be hard to wrap it up in words what I mean to him. And the collective awww..

What are things that you love about your partner?