Tiny Tragedy

Tiny Tragedy

When you have a dog you are inviting a tiny tragedy into your life.

What I am feeling right now is not what I would define as tiny, but it is definitely a tragedy.

Today we had to say goodbye to our Crosby.

I have experienced grief before.

Grief with the loss of family.

Grief with the loss of friends.

I have even grieved the loss of pets before.

But grief over losing our first dog as adults is un-explainable.

I feel immense guilt pulling me in both directions. One that we didn’t see his suffering sooner, but then feeling remorse that we couldn’t do something to help him live longer or that we made the call to soon.

I mean how do I reconcile that we made an appointment for our dog’s death? This is a different kind of pain when you are the one making the decision. And then having to sit there watching him take his last breaths.

When we found out in January that he had cancer, I think I was in complete denial about the diagnosis and the caution from the vet that he only has 8-12 weeks left. Tom and I both made references how great we would make his last summer. Well here we are exactly 2 months later, now without him.

We got Crosby at a time when our marriage was still fresh, and it was the first time we were living together after Tom’s deployment. 2013 seems like a life time ago. So he has been with us as we have taken many steps as a family with different moves, careers, and expanding our family.

He really was the best dog who has been a constant for us in the great times and worst times.

I am fairly certain he knew before I did when I was pregnant with each kid. He was so cuddly and over protective during all of my pregnancies. I will probably remember this the most behind how patient he was once the kids were out and wreaking havoc in his life.

Crosby loved to chase all the things: cats, squirrels, turtles, chickens, tractors, neighborhood runners, leaves….you name it Crosby was not having it near our yard. He would just run with complete abandon.

He would even bark at things just because Grace was barking without even seeing what they were trying to ward off.

He loved to dig holes EVERY.WHERE. Then he would lay in his creation like he just made himself a king-sized bed.

He loved running into pools of water.

I will remember the first year we had him, he used to basically drag me around on our walks around Ft. Campbell.

I will remember that he did poop tornadoes.

I remember how he use to sprawl out wherever he slept. He hardly ever would cuddle with us, but he would cuddle with Grace.

I will remember that when both George and Daphne transitioned to big kid beds, we would often find Crosby at the end of the bed watching over them in those first few months out of the crib.

I am utterly heartbroken that we will not get to watch the kids grow up more with him. I am grief stricken that Walter and most likely Daphne will not have any memories of him.

This is hard y’all. He truly was the perfect dog for our family. We couldn’t have lucked out anymore with getting this chunk of love. He was such a happy chill dog who loved and protected us fiercely at the same time.

You always know that this day will come, but having to make the call this week to actually send him over the rainbow bridge is one of the hardest things I have had to do.

But watching him struggle to do basic functions, I know that he was just holding on until we were ready. Honestly, as weird as it sounds, when I watched him try for 10 minutes to do one of his poop tornadoes, it hit me so hard that this was the right call.

Although I would argue that you never are truly ready, it was time none the less.

Tom and I are a mess as this is a first for us both. It is a level of sadness and emptiness I cannot describe. Walking back into our home without him is truly awful.

The kids are truly the sweetest little beings. They threw him a party last night. They decorated the house and made him presents and a bone cake to send him off to heaven in style. George also wants a “cardboard” statue of him to keep forever. Daphne did cry when we left with him this morning, which was utterly devastating.

Grace keeps wondering around like she is searching for him. And she has been barking double in his absence today. Only time will tell if her separation anxiety will return.

I know that this week will haunt me for a long time, if not for the rest of my life. Watching him decline so quickly made me feel helpless. And then to lay next to him as he took his last breaths was very harrowing.

However, this is how I want to remember him. So I just need to play this on repeat, and I pray that we were able to recreate heaven on Earth for him.

Crobby Dobby, Crobbers, Crozie…

Crosby, there was so much love for you, but you gave us so much more.

See you on the other side buddy.

Puppy Love

Everyone wants to know how Crosby and Grace are reacting to Little G.

Our first response is great and better than expected.

When we left the hospital before George, we brought home his little nursery hat so the dogs could get a whiff of him before we brought him home.

Crosby thought it was a toy and snatched it out of my hands.

Oh boy.

That’s enough to make you nervous.

When we brought him home, they tried smothering him with kisses. Then they didn’t really know what to think.

Who is this new puppy we brought home? And why does he get held all the time?

(I apologize in advance for the poor picture quality. Dogs don’t know how to stay still for a camera.)

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Now they have gotten used to each other for the most part.

The dogs don’t react when George cries.

George doesn’t react when the dogs bark, even right near his head.

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Crosby does not seem interested in George most of the time. He kind of keeps his distance, unless he is trying to sneak in a full head lick. We try to discourage his licking because he is a little rough when he licks us. When he licks George it’s like he is trying to make him a bobble head.

Grace, however, wants to be near George All. The. Time. She loves to dote on him. She never is very far from him and is so sweet with her kisses.

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The other night Tom and I were laying in bed doing our nightly routine of watching the baby monitor for a few (more like 10) minutes to make sure that G is doing ok in his crib before we fall asleep ourselves. We hear this weird noise on the monitor like a scratch, but George wasn’t moving. We scrolled the monitor out a little to see a paw reaching in between the crib bars. We pull it out even more to then see Grace try to GET IN the crib. She had put her paws over the top of the crib like she was going to jump in to cuddle with G. I laughed so hard I could barely breath.

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It is probably my favorite moment since bringing George home.

Once he is in a big boy bed, we are sure Grace will be cuddling with George more than us. (That’s fine with me because that means more space in our bed!)

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Until this last weekend, we didn’t have any issues with the dogs grabbing dirty diapers or George’s toys as their own. Our family was here this weekend, so I think they just got over-excited with all the people and couldn’t control themselves. That is the only time a diaper or toy has been grabbed. In Crosby’s defense, the toy did look like it could pass for a dog toy. George got his first stuffed animal this weekend, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous that it may become a chew toy in the future. So hopefully they stay away from it!

Grace does try to lick all the spilled milk off the burp clothes and bibs. I will pull one up and find it so wet from her trying to get all the taste off it.

We try to give the dogs intentional attention so they don’t get jealous. And as soon as I am released from the doctor to get back to exercising full force, they will get their daily walks again. I think it does help that I am home all day with them so they do get attention that they weren’t getting before anyway.

George is now three weeks old, and so far they have done really well together. I can’t wait to watch their relationship blossom even more as G gets older.

I just know they are going to be best friends.

Were you best friends with your pets growing up?

Frolic with Grace

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.  ~Author Unknown

If you have been following me at all, there is no surprise that I love my dog. So today is all about my little lady.

My parents willed me this chair from my childhood. It is an old beat-up lazy chair, that is slightly pink. So it matches nothing that I own, but I absolutely loved this chair growing up. I spent hours reading books in this chair, so they gave it to me in the great purging of the Glinn household.

Well, it has now become Grace’s chair. She is in it all the time.

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She loves staring out the window to our backyard. I originally had the chair facing in a more functional way with the room, but Grace moved it to the side like this to make it more functional for her outside watching.

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Like I said, this is no longer my chair. We now refer to it as Grace’s bed.

We have always let Grace sleep in our bed with us, so this chair has left an empty spot in our bed at night. For the most part we are ok with it because she is a bed hog and will pretty much lay on you and not be willing to budge. But there are moments that it is a little sad for us as doggy parents.
And this sparked this week’s episode of “Talks with Tom.”

Tom-I like it when Grace sleeps in other parts of the house.

Me-Why’s that?

Tom-Because when she gets in her chair it is a little insulting because I am right here. She is basically saying she doesn’t want to sleep with me. When she sleeps in other rooms, it’s like she is at summer camp.

Just this morning we marveled at the fact that she slept with us most of the night. Later to find out it was probably because she wanted to melt our hearts a little bit with glee before we found her puddle of pee all over the living room. She was probably embarrassed because this is totally out of character for her.

And just when I made her a new chew toy! The nerve!

I love making Grace new toys out of household items that are worn out. I am all about sustainability and reusing things when I can.

Grace does not allow us to keep nice bedding because we–and by we, I mean Tom–plays and wrestles with her on the bed. Impossible to keep a nice bed made.

So we get holes like this in our sheets.

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In my effort to be green and also save some of our green, I cut up the fabric to use for a project that we are currently working on for our bathroom, but I still had a lot of “unusable scraps.”

I cut the leftovers into long strips, knotted, and braided them together to make a new rope toy for Grace. These are her favorites because she likes ripping them.

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This is super easy to do and then I don’t feel so bad about throwing away sheets. My suggestion though is to make sure you make them long enough to make lots of knots. This will make them a little more durable to doggie teeth. For this one I made 4 separate braids then knotted those braids like the friendships bracelets we all made as kids.

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She perked up from her nap to play with it a little bit! Success!

I have also made new toys out of old socks that have holes in them. I know others who have done this but they commented that their dogs then would grab any sock regardless of toy status or not. I didn’t have this problem with Grace, but just be weary if you do!

We have been considering upping our little family by adding another furbaby. We have been discussing the pros and cons of getting another dog, and right now the pros outweigh the cons. I have already been scouring shelters’ websites to see who our new rescue puppy could be, but we want to make sure that this will be a good decision for both Grace and the new puppy. Ideally, we would want to get one around the same age as Grace, and more than likely the same breed if not one similar. But who knows once we actually go look at a dog and let them meet Grace to ensure compatibility. Any thoughts and comments on the subject of owning several dogs are welcome! We want to be realistic and do the dogs justice if we choose to adopt another rescue, so any helpful advice would be awesome.

For now we are enjoying our time with just our Gracie lady. Here are some fun videos from our weekend. Yep, we are totally those parents…ok honestly I am totally that parent.

That was the first time she played with a sprinkler hose. She had a blast with it!

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.  ~Ben Williams