Friday Filter: Book “The Tenth Circle”

I recently finished Jodi Picoult’s book The Tenth Circle. Here is the “back cover” synopsis from Amazon.

Fourteen-year-old Trixie Stone is in love for the first time. She’s also the light of her father, Daniel’s life — a straight-A student; a pretty, popular freshman in high school; a girl who’s always seen her father as a hero. That is, until her world is turned upside down with a single act of violence. Suddenly everything Trixie has believed about her family — and herself — seems to be a lie. Could the boyfriend who once made Trixie wild with happiness have been the one to end her childhood forever? She says that he is, and that is all it takes to make Daniel, a seemingly mild-mannered comic book artist with a secret tumultuous past he has hidden even from his family, venture to hell and back to protect his daughter. 

This is probably the first book of Picoult’s that I was not particularly fond of personally.

Rewind. It is a good book. As usual, Picoult is a phenomenal writer, who can depict raw emotions as if they are actually happening to you. I particularly did like that it showed parts of the story from the dad’s point of view, which I feel in our society is often missed. Being raised primarily by my own dad, I enjoyed seeing that love and connection in this story.

The story went through a series of events and how a split moment can change a person’s life forever. Picoult showed three different perspectives: the daughter, mother, and father. They were all impacted by this single act, and all chose to react in various ways to protect themselves and what they had left of their family.

This book had it all:  romance, violence, sex, teenage angst, range of emotions, drugs and alcohol, murder, suicide, Alaskan wilderness…covered.

She also put a twist in there by having a comic book in between chapters. Daniel, the father, is a comic book artist in the story, and these drawings were supposedly his. So this added a different layer and lens on the story, since most of the comics paralleled what was happening to their family. And apparently there is a hidden code in those pages. I wasn’t able to figure it out, but maybe another day.

But I just wasn’t feeling this book. Unlike her other books, I wasn’t connected to it. Actually, I think it was the opposite, I was too connected to it. The story lines were abrasive and harsh. They were all a little too real for me. I see these stories play out at work, and the pain and anguish I read just didn’t sit right with me. It stirred up emotions that I really couldn’t do anything with so that was frustrating. It brought up experiences that I had no control over so it was like feeling helpless all over again.

So I wasn’t the biggest fan of this particular story. Sometimes you just don’t like it even if it is good for others.

Picoult is still one of my favorite authors for her realness and the way she brings stories to life. I will no doubt continue to read her work, but this is one that I probably won’t read again for personal reasons.

Friday Filters offer a review that are my own opinions. I was not contacted by anyone associated with this work or compensated for my review. My review has not been influenced by anything other than my love for entertainment and art.

Getting a Little Political

Ok, if you have been watching the news at all, you can see that things in Syria are getting pretty serious. If you haven’t been watching, I would suggest tuning in.

Yesterday, the Senate started the vote for military action, first getting it approved in a committee.

We have been talking about Syria for a while in our household. Regardless of what the news is saying, it will affect us as a military family.

A fellow Army wife shared this article yesterday, and it really made me think. It made me think enough that I felt the need to respond in my own words.

Please keep in mind that I am talking from my military spouse lens. This is not meant to be about why we [United States] are considering military action. It is just my reaction to some of the media comments as of late, what I see at work and expanding on that article.

Many people think that our time in Afghanistan is coming to a close, and some even believe we are out. This is false, even though it is something we have been told even before Tom left for his first tour there. I even heard a politician say something to the tune of “We aren’t sending anymore troops there.” Tom deployed the next week to said “there”. One of our very good friends is currently there and schedule to be there until next February. He just found out yesterday that his first expected child is going to be a boy. I don’t think they would agree that we are “moving out” of that area. Also, Tom is scheduled for his second deployment back to Afghanistan next July. They have started extensive training which takes him away from our family for days at a time and often has him coming home at odd hours of the night. This kind of training will continue up until they leave next summer. I sure wish it was true that they were out of that country!

“But we are leaving the county” (and also Iraq) they continue to report. The reality is that, yes, there are less troops being sent over. Many COPs (combat out posts) are being closed, but we are still planning to have a presence for awhile to come.

Military families will not be affected with the current proposed Syrian Plan. Hmmmm… As of right now the plan is not to use ground troops and to take no longer than 3 months from everything that I have read. That is great and I am absolutely on board with that seeing as my hubster is the ground troops. But when you talk about war, you have to be prepared for the unexpected. While this timeline would be ideal, it may not be completely accurate once we begin. We have no idea how the other side or other countries will react to our plan.  You cannot wrap war up in a pretty little package with a bow, which is what I think this plan insinuates. The leaders of Syria are already warning us of what may unfold. Who are we to say they aren’t bluffing? This three month thing could get an approved extension to add support troops to this initial wave.

Plus let’s think about it, if we are going to get involved with military action, some troop somewhere has to take that action. I don’t think they are going to be doing that from American soil, so even though it may be for a couple months, some military family somewhere IS going to be affected. It doesn’t matter if this is the safest plan for our troops, there is always a concern from families. Always. Even when Tom was in a “safe” country on his way back from Afghanistan, I was still worried. I still felt this weight on my chest that I would never see him again. Unless your service member is beside you in person, you have concern and are affected by any type of deployment. And to be real with you, I still worry about him even when he is in the safety of our house. Being in the military is a life altering commitment that while I am honored to be a part of it, the reality is that it affects me every second of every day, and terrifies me all the same regardless of if he is stateside or not. His job is literally life or death. I am not sure how that can’t affect me.

And being gone just for one day affects families. Try saying that it doesn’t affect a family to the mom who has to figure out daycare and carpooling for all 3 kids since their partner is gone. Try saying that it doesn’t to the 3rd grader who didn’t see their mom in the stands at their first little league game. Try explaining how it doesn’t to the parents who just said goodbye to their 18 year old as they board that plane for overseas. The time does matter to us, and we are affected.

Constant battering of the military expenses. I have held my tongue to this point about all the sequestering business, even as I watched vital offices/services around base get closed during regular weekly business hours to help cut costs. But as I went home to MO this past weekend and saw billboards about the fast food strike and the “right to work”. As I have been seeing comments all over the place about how our military is ready to go, I was pondering our jobs and what effort we put into our work as a country. I thought about the respect that is given to those who choose to work in this [military] field without much regard except on big holidays. The military is ready to go at any time. That is what is so great about our Armed Forces. Tom is ready to go wherever America needs him to go (a little to eagerly in my opinion, but I am a little greedy about my hubster time.) This commitment to the oath they took to serve their country hasn’t come with full support of our nation. Constantly over the past year there have been talks about cutting benefits, bases, and military personnel. Here at Ft. Campbell they are going to be eliminating one of the most famous brigades (Band of Brothers) in the next year to hit the mark on the new budget. The scope of what that means, just boggles my mind. But regardless of the comments or the payback, they are ready to serve and willingly go every time. They do it with pride and honor. They do it without constant(or even regularly scheduled) pay raises. I think that is something that people should take note of before considering taking a swipe at the defense budget. Don’t get me wrong, there are some awesome benefits, and I am grateful for what we do get, but on the grand scale of things I am not sure that everyone has their facts straight when trying to say the military gets too much. P.S. There is no sitting out in the military. Have you heard the term AWOL and did you know  that you can get arrested for it? Also, war doesn’t stop when you are asleep, eating, going to the bathroom, so a full-time job has a whole other meaning for service members.

I work in a field were we constantly talk about injustice and under-represented groups, which is one thing I love about my job. I love getting out there and connecting people to their passions no matter their past or situations. We all have a voice and story to be told, and I love that I am in an environment that allows me to interact with a variety of people.  I think the military should be one of those under-represented communities that comes to the forefront of people’s minds because they are so misunderstood and disregarded too often. They also encompass many of the most common groups that folks think of when you say the word “diversity” or “social justice.” You cannot always tell if someone is military, and many don’t feel it necessary to boast about those achievements. But, just because they don’t want to talk about it, doesn’t mean we don’t need to take care of them in this country. Yes they are independent and have had experiences that are worse than most of our nightmares. That, I think, puts most people in this mindset that veteran’s and military folks can just take care of themselves because of all that they experienced. They can handle anything right? Well, maybe so, but that doesn’t mean we don’t owe them a little gratitude and a hand. We need to be more empathetic to this population and how our politics can affect them.

Because, quite frankly, they will fight to their death to save our county.

They would rather make sure they are ready and trained for their war life. They cannot control the whens/whys/hows of  where they go; they can control how prepared they are once given orders. Why can’t we as a country be ready to support them in this endeavor?

Ask yourself are you ready to go to war? I know I am not. So I am thankful that service members are willing to put it all on the line so I don’t have to.

(I have a similar contempt for America’s treatment of teachers, but that is a soap box for another day.)

As I said, this was not intended to be a debate on whether we should go to Syria or not, but I hope it inspires you to think a little harder about what you say about the folks that do go and the support you provide them. Seriously, we should think about any group we talk about and seek to know the facts. We need to hear the stories of that group before we turn a blind eye. Obviously, I am biased, and I will own that. But I see what these men [in Tom’s unit] do every day and I think it is about time someone takes notice instead of throwing stones at what they don’t know or understand.

So here I am just trying to tell a little bit of our story to hopefully remove some barriers.

My Container Store

With the Cara Box exchange, I really wanted to make everything for Lesle.

Here was my train of thought.

She had said that she loved labeling and organization throughout her blog, so I thought I would create containers that had really cute labels on it.

See doesn’t that look cute?

That is not how they turned out. Here was the sequence of events.

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I had tried mod podgeing scrapbook paper labels I made, but my sample one looked atrocious. The mod podge I used did not dry clear as I had thought. It was cloudy and streaky, and just plain ugly. The pictures don’t show the injustice of the mod podge, so it is not even post worthy. But the jar still works, so we are still using it…in the closet.

So nix the label idea.

I decided that I was going to paint chevron stripes on the remaining containers I had because that was something else Lesle had mentioned.

I bought the new chevron painter’s tape they have at Lowe’s. Genius! Fairly pricey, but so worth the headache I had endured before trying to do chevron.

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So I painted my merry little way all over the jars.

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Then I tried peeling off the tape.

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Curse of the ugly jars. The tape just took off the paint with it. I will admit, I should have used different paint, but I was still upset. It basically turned to rubber cement on the jars and was easy to rub off.

So try three…

I started scrambling through my craft closet to see what I could come up with.

I found some decorative buttons and frilly ribbon and pulled out the go-to hot glue gun.

And this was the final and perfect product!

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I think they turned out pretty swell considering how many try overs I had. And bonus, I used these to hold all the other goodies I sent her:  tea, crocheted scarf and dog treats for her dog.

So it maybe wasn’t the labeled goodness I had envisioned, but hopefully she can still use my Pinterest fail to be organized in the house!

 

Talks with Tom #8

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Well night one with the dynamic boxer duo was a trip.

This was our conversation when it was time to go to bed. To be honest, this was after Tom and I laid in bed hoping for the best for a half hour as they dive bombed into the bed over and over again.

Tom-It’s like two six year olds at their first sleepover. I am trying to tell them to go to bed, and then I find them with flashlights, giggling and playing connect the dots.

Me-Connect the dots, huh? Is that a big sleepover game?

Tom-I’m half asleep. Just tell people I said the game was Operation.

They did eventually settle down. Grace is a big instigator and just wants to play. Crosby is just like, “I will play but then give me some space lady.” Typical. Crosby finally laid asleep in the closet while we bear hugged Grace to sleep in the bed. Then Crosby kept us up because he is a HUGE snorter. He sounds like a pig, so every 5 minutes or so we would hear this loud grunting, and then we would start busting up laughing. REM cycle never happened…

They are having a blast with each other though, so day 2 is going well. We really lucked out with these two. They are just playing so well together, and they don’t fight over food or attention we give each of them. It’s like they were made for each other.

And good news…Grace is not scared of the yard anymore! Yesss!

Here are some shots from this afternoon.

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Grace is so intrigued from Crosby’s eliminations. She just follows him around until he goes.

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Neighborhood watch. They stood here for a while ignoring me running around the yard trying to get them to play.

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Right now they are burrowing underneath the couch cushions together. I feel like I am an intruder on their alone time….Just supervising kiddos.

Here Grace was giving Crosby a hug; I just caught it too late. Adorable.

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Grace is no longer an only child!

After watching shelter pages for months and several applications, tonight we brought home this guy!

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We had some bumps in the road to our adoption, and honestly we didn’t even go to the shelter to meet this slobbery mess initially.

Much like Grace’s adoption, we went to a shelter to meet another little dude. After looking at the most adorable 9 week old boxer puppy, we decided we definitely did not want to potty train. Plus, there were 3 other families who were interested in getting the puppy so we decided he was not our new little brother for Grace.

I knew there were several other boxers at the shelter so we asked the past history of the other dogs to see if there was one that fit our true need for a rescue.

Then they brought us our little big man. He warmed our hearts as soon as he walked through the doors.

He had been brought in as a stray so they are not completely sure of his past. He had been adopted through the shelter once, but the previous adopters brought him back when their small dog got snippy with him. He wasn’t even there for two weeks.

So after being a stray and a surrender, and seeing the visible scars on his body, we knew we were going to take him home. He is a smaller boxer like Grace, and obviously they have the same brindle coats. They guesstimated that he is about 3 years old, but are not completely sure. Since Grace is almost 3, we figured we could make their birthdays the same day.

He crawled up in my lap within seconds and licked my face all over. Seriously in love with this guy!

We brought him home tonight, which was such a perfect ending to our wonderful Labor Day weekend. We have named him Crosby. We named Grace after the iconic Grace Kelly, so it seemed appropriate to name our new bundle of joy after someone in the same realm, so Bing Crosby it is.

Here are Grace and Crosby meeting for the first time!

Then this is the first time in the backyard together. And per usual, I catch a dump in action.

We have done research on how to integrate a new dog to the house, and we know that it is a process that goes beyond today’s activities. However, if anyone does have advice or recommendations, we would love to hear it!

They are doing a really good job right now. They play for a second, then lay down for a bit, then back at it. They are pretty evenly matched and seem to really like each other. So hopefully it continues to go well!

Here are some pictures from the afternoon.

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Grace sniffing for approval.

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Crosby loves to be out the window. It made me a little nervous!

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Grace staring at Crosby in awe…

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Crosby loves to lay down while he eats.

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They both love the peanut butter.

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I love how Grace looks like an alien.

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Love these two!

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“Are you two sure about this guy?”-Grace

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They are too funny!

Thank you for all the encouraging words through this process. We are excited that our little family was able to expand this weekend. We are so greatful that we are in a position to offer a loving home to these two homeless pups.

We can’t wait to see where this adventure leads us with Grace and Crosby!