It is what it is

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Moving on Up

My big work news is that I recently got promoted to Assistant Director in our office.

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This was big, y’all, in so many ways. BIG.

Let’s take a step back to the last time that I was pregnant and was job searching.

I have never shared this publicly, but I had received a job offer when I was 8 months pregnant. At the time, I thought this job was just the perfect fit for me, so I was on cloud 9. However, when they realized my timeline with giving birth, the job offer was rescinded.

This is possibility one of the biggest blows I have ever received. I remember coming home that day after getting that call and just being numb.

Now I know what you are thinking, they can’t take a job away because I am pregnant. That was my thought too. Rage and disbelief-and lots of tears. I consulted several of my mentors on the situation because I was in unknown territory. Because of their support, I attempted to fight the injustice I felt. After working through the institution for weeks, I was told that there was nothing I could do to change the outcome. Absolutely devastated. (And I am still convinced this is what put me on bed-rest that last month of pregnancy.)

There are still parts of me that are confused and angered by how it all went down, however, this job I have now never would have happened if I would have ended up in that position.

That awfully humbling situation was actually a Godsend so I could apply to work where I do now, and it allowed me more time with George after he was born. And that is time I never can replace.

Plus I LOVE MY JOB. This job I got instead. A job that is more perfect for me right now I do not believe exists. I get to work on some great initiatives. I have the opportunity to impact students more intentionally. I am using my background and talents, but I am being challenged to grow daily. And I work with some pretty amazing people.

So while it stung, I thank that Director for taking back that offer 2 years ago, because this is where I belong. That old adage, that things happen for a reason is so very true.

So back to the promotion.

This promotion is redemption for those twoish years (aka the worst job search ever) where I heard, “No, we are going in a different direction.”

This promotion is validating when the last time I was pregnant I was denied a job, and this time I was promoted while being pregnant.

This promotion gave me back my confidence that I lost after leaving Iowa State years ago. It reminded me of my worth as a professional. This was a triumph.

This promotion is exactly where I am supposed to be.

Assistant Director of Student Success has a nice ring to it.

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Baby 2-Twelve Weeks

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How far along: 12 weeks

Sex of Baby W: No clue

Weight gain: I’ve lost 3 lbs, however there is a bump coming.

Size of Baby W:  A lime or a Roborovski hamster. (I downloaded a new app that does the size in weird-but-cute animals.)

Maternity clothes: I do wear the belly band almost every day because I can’t button most pants. I wore maternity pants over Thanksgiving, but I am in that weird stage where they don’t really fit but neither do my normal pants. I don’t wear any maternity tops yet, but I am all about the baggy shirts and big chunky cardigans these days.

Baby items: I bought a crib sheet that was the exact color that I want for their room. Green and navy. Then I went wild saving stuff to my Amazon wishlist.

Stretch marks: Nothing yet. I am doing a really bad job putting on my belly cream though, so hopefully this doesn’t change.

Belly button in or out:  Still in.

Sleep: My sleep is going pretty well. I do usually have to wake up at least once to pee, but I generally don’t have any issues getting back to sleep.

Best moment the past few weeks: Work has been going exceptionally well for me lately. I have a post coming soon (I think…when I can find the time.).

Worst moment the past few weeks: At my last doctor’s appointment, they didn’t check me at all. This is sooooo weird for me. I am so used to having sonograms and heartbeat readings or at least checking my lady parts at every appointment. I didn’t have one appointment with George where they didn’t check something else besides my blood pressure. I was just in shock that she just asked me three questions and then sent me on my way. In my head I was screaming, “How do I know that this little bean is still alive?” This is the part of a normal pregnancy I do not like! But I have to remember this is all a good thing.

Miss anything: Being able to hold George for extended periods of time. He doesn’t understand why Mama can’t hold him all the time. It breaks my heart. Working out-between the nausea and the exhaustion, I am lucky if I can get all my steps in a day never mind actually exercising.

Cravings: Still marinated mushrooms, but I have also been craving burgers something fierce. I have been able to tolerate salads a little more, but they still aren’t my favorite. I dislike most vegetables to be honest. Salty things (besides french fries) are also a big turn off. And no bacon for me!

Movement: I haven’t felt anything yet.

Symptoms/how I am feeling: I am not as exhausted as I was (meaning I am not consistently falling asleep on the couch at 7pm),  but I am still fairly nauseous. I have started getting charlie horses in my calves-just awful.

Looking forward to: We have an ultrasound next week to check for any abnormalities. While there is some anxiety with what they are looking for, I am excited to see this little nugget again. It’s been 6 weeks!!!

Here is George at 12 weeks.

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Oy With the Poodles Already.

It’s about time the revival is here. This is one of my favorite shows of all time. I am sure there are many out there that share my enthusiasm.

SO. VERY. EXCITED.

I have re-watched this show so many times. I resonate with both Lorelei and Rory for different reasons each time I watch it.

As I have re-watched it though, here are some things that I have noticed that are odd:

  • Seriously, how do they go to Luke’s every morning for breakfast before Rory has to get to Chilton? Who has time for that?
  • They make really late Friday night plans for after Friday night dinners at the grandparents which is supposedly 30 minutes away. Again, who has time for that?
  • The actress who plays the girlfriend of Jess’s dad is also April’s mom in later episodes. Same actress two different characters.
  • There are two different Caesars. In the first season it is an older skinny man, and then in later seasons it is the heftier younger Caesar. Who might I add was also at the Chilton dance in one of the earlier episodes as an extra student. I am on to you GG producers…
  • The dorm size is just plain ridiculous.
  • How are Paris and Rory graduating at the same time with Rory’s lost semester and not taking any summer classes? We all know that Paris was accelerated, so I don’t understand why they graduate in the same year.
  • Did anyone else think that the Yale graduation was small and question it being on the lawn? This can’t be an accurate depiction of how Yale does graduations.

All in all despite these questions that obviously only come out when you binge watch the entire series every couple years, I am obsessed with this show. I can’t wait for it to be released this weekend. I have been reading every article posted about the revival.

I am excited to see what books Rory is reading these days.

I am excited to see how the Dragon Fly is doing for Lorelei.

I am excited to see what job Kirk has now.

I am excited to see Emily’s meltdown.

I am excited to see old friends like Paris, Lane, and Sooki.

And as with everyone else, I am excited to see who will Rory end up with. If I had to pick from her former interests I would obviously pick Jess. However, I am hoping that she doesn’t feel like she has to end up with them and maybe they will surprise us and bring in someone brand new for her. Or maybe she doesn’t need a man to define her and they will leave us in the same spot they did at the last ending.

Oy with the poodles already.

Also be kind if you watch it this weekend. Some of us won’t be so lucky to binge these four episodes the moment it comes out. Holiday traveling problems, y’all. So keep those last four words to yourself. Don’t spoil it for the rest of us.

Who else is excited to see our Girls again? What’s your favorite story line?

 

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How We Found Out

When we decided to start trying for the baby number two, I had a lot of anxiety. Since we never tested positive as pregnant with George until I was in my second trimester, I worried that we would have a similar process. However, this time we wouldn’t have a happenstance meeting with a sonogram to find out about this baby. (You can read more about how we found out about George here.)

We had been trying since August so when on October 1st I started bleeding, I just thought my period had come a week early. Being off birth control means that my period had no rhyme or reason to when it started.

That same day, I was running a 10K with my sister-in-law. I thought, perfect, what a day to start the worst week of the month when I have planned to run 6 miles. I had trained fairly consistently for this run, so I was really mad at my body when starting on mile four I was really lightheaded and had to walk most of the last two miles. I have gotten sick and endured cramps on runs before, but I had never been so lightheaded that I thought I might pass out.

Obviously I pushed through it, and finished the race not really thinking anything of the lightheadedness and just blamed it on it being “that time of the month.”

Then I didn’t bleed for the next two days.

On that Monday, I woke up thinking maybe I should just take a pregnancy test. I can’t really explain it but I just thought maybe this is why my body was weird all weekend.

So I peed on a stick and got ready for my shower.

And there it was. A faint blue line telling me it was positive.

I was in shock because I had prepared myself to never ever see the blue line after our experience with George.

I re-read the instructions to double check that a “faint” line was still positive.

Then I took another test from a different brand just to make sure.

Same result.

I am pregnant.

(I took another one a few days later before I met with my doctor, just to make sure too. There were definitely no faint lines that time!)

I hid the tests so Tom wouldn’t stumble on them since he was off that day. I knew I had to wait until after work to tell him.

It was all I could do to be productive that day. I was a nervous wreck with this secret in my belly.

Luckily, Tom had George that day, so I could run to the store to pick up a card for Tom.

In my head I always envisioned doing something elaborate to tell him, but I was just ready to tell him and there wasn’t time to plan something out. So he just got a “Congrats” card with two people high-fiving, which fit us perfectly anyway.

Tom cried when I told him, and then he proceeded to beg to tell everyone we know.

Since I had no idea how far along I was, I panicked and freaked out about telling anyone before we had anything confirmed.

We found out about George when we were 9 weeks pregnant and told the world when we were 11 weeks. So this was a huge difference for us.

I immediately started thinking about the worst case scenario, and wanted to keep this a secret until our second trimester.

Then I remembered an article that I read a while back that talked about why we as women have this idea that we have to keep this wonderful thing a secret and basically isolate ourselves until we are 12/13 weeks pregnant. There shouldn’t be this stigma that we can’t tell people this news that we are pregnant on the off-chance that something were to go wrong.  Here is the article that does a much better job articulating my thoughts. I don’t want to have to pretend this isn’t happening.

Plus trying to have my husband keep a secret for any amount of time is a struggle and an insane request.

But I still wanted to wait a little bit before we shared, so we compromised that we would share as soon as we saw the baby on a sonogram to confirm that everything was moving as it should. (And he could tell our Parents as Teacher facilitator who was coming over that same night.)

Because of some complications (blood clot and severe bleeding), we had an emergency visit where we were able to see the baby and it’s little heart beating at 6 weeks. I then saw it again with a specialist the next week. Everything was confirmed to be looking good and normal even with my history of issues. And here we are a week later, 8 weeks pregnant.

While this story is definitely not as dramatic as George’s story, nor did it take as long to get pregnant, we are over the moon excited about this transition in our family.

Up Next:  How we told our family!

 

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Heyyyyy, Hey Baby!

So we have some news.

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I have so many things I want to share already so stay tuned for how we shared the news with family, how we decided to start growing our family, and what’s different this time around. (I just need the energy to do some typing, which is hard to come by these days.)

George has had some mixed reactions about the news…

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In all seriousness, he has no idea yet what is going on. He does kiss my belly and we say goodnight to baby every night, but he is just repeating me at this point. So if anyone has any pointers on transitioning the older sibling, we are all ears.

And yes, we had to do these pictures on two separate occasions because George is a two year old and hates that his mom takes pictures of him all the time. Well lucky for you George, someone else is coming next spring for me to practice on.