It is what it is

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Strong As A Mother

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“You make it look easy.”

“You look so put together.”

“I’m impressed with how you (insert thing I am doing).”

While I am flattered that people think that I am rocking this whole mom thing, I promise you there are moments where I am barely making it.

There was a day last week that I had to lock myself in the bathroom because I was so angry at George who was being a freaking tornado. I raised my voice to match his energy a few times throughout that day.

Let me also tell you that we really struggle with getting George to eat. For real, he is THE worst at meal time and exhibits all the typical toddler behavior of changing his mind and being picky. Most days I feel like a failure because his dinner consisted of raisins and a slice of cheese (or last week it had to be shredded cheese).

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However, I don’t want to talk about THOSE moments. I want to talk about the strength that being a mom gives you. I want to appreciate the all the small wins I have throughout the day (even if it is only one teeny win).

I am pretty impressed with myself with this transition to two children.

When I think about the things that we do as moms, it really is undeniable that we are some pretty BA people.

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I have survived on 3 hours of sleep because kids don’t understand quiet time.

I have managed to get both kids in and out of the car while running errands and kept them both alive by myself.

At least once a day I am carrying both children.

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George gets his teeth brushed every day. He turns into the Hulk when the toothbrush comes out, so the fact that I can tame him enough to get those things clean is a miracle.

I still am reading George his bedtime stories even though Daphne is taking on the bewitching hour like she is trying out for the role of a banshee on the show Charmed.

I know the difference between excavator and a backhoe which means I have spent a million hours reading books and watching YouTube videos about the various trucks and tractors in the world and looked like I was interested for the sake of my son.

Anytime I am wearing Daphne, I feel like I can take on the world.

I have held Daphne breastfeeding with one hand while assisting George with bathroom things with the other. (I seriously thought I was Hercules for this feat).

 

Come to think of it, I can do a lot of things with one hand that previously needed two.

Also breastfeeding. This time around I am not dreading it, so I call that a win.

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I think that we often compare what we are doing with our kids with other moms. Then we just see what we “aren’t doing well.” We all are doing amazing things though, and that shouldn’t be overshadowed by what other parents are doing. If I only thought about how poorly George eats dinner, I would be really upset all the time about this Mom gig. (He eats really well every other meal by the way. It’s just dang dinner.) We have to give ourselves a break and take in the compliments that we are doing a good job with these little humans.

I think that we as moms are really bad at taking compliments. We don’t want to seem cocky or that we are better than other moms. But we should feel proud of ourselves. We should marvel at the wins we get throughout the day no matter how small they are. I high five myself every morning when I get both kids in the car dressed.

We are getting these tiny little tornadoes where they need to be and helping them grow into decent human beings instead of actual tornadoes. Maybe we don’t have it together all the time, and that’s ok. I am sure though that we are all doing things that our previous selves would be impressed by or never imagined that we were capable of. Us moms have the kind of determination to get things done and make things happen. I am impressed every day by women out there and what they are doing for their littles.

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So thanks for those that have been hurling those comments my way. I do appreciate them, and it’s what we do right? We get it done. Sometimes gracefully, and other times we are hoping there is at least one more box of raisins to get us through to the next meal. We just have to carry these angels as far as we can in whatever way we can manage.

We carry them because we are strong as mothers.

What are your strong mom moments?

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Daphne’s Nursery

With everything going on this summer, it has been hard to put together posts about the house. My goal is to do so before I go back to work in August. Four weeks is enough time to get pictures hung and document everything right?

Daphne’s room is the only one I feel confident saying is complete. And of course it’s for the roommate that doesn’t really care what her room looks like.

I had picked this theme and color scheme long before we were even pregnant. I love the combination of navy and kelly green, and with the gray undertones-Perfection. I also loved the idea of sea creatures, so that is where the sea life came in.

Here is the grand tour of her room.

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The dogs love this room because the windows have the best view of the entire yard and street. This is the view from the doorway.

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My sister-in-law made this bow rack to hold all the hair accessories for Daphne. All the bows were handed down from my niece too, so I love that. Someday she will have enough hair to actually wear them, but for now George likes to wear them. We need to add some more hooks to hold all her headbands.

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This is the same set we had for George, but with the new colors I feel like it looks so different. I love the cubbies to hide away all the things I need quickly during bedtime routines and diaper changes. There are onsies, sleepers, diapers, and more there. I got the green boxes from Amazon, and my in-laws found the blue whale bins at Home Goods. The one by the crib holds blankets. I got the stuffed octopus that is on the crib at Target.

The two pieces on the wall are from Hobby Lobby. They were having a wood sale, and we basically stole these for how cheap we got them.

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I love this sign. Such a good reminder.

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This whale bins and laundry basket I got on Amazon. The stuffed whale is from Target. The oars are from the Hobby Lobby steal. The little lighthouse was given to me by my grandpa, and I enjoy those little personal touches. And we have no shortage of books around here.

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This rocking chair was in George’s nursery as well. This time around, I did not make the chair cover. I got an outdoor chair cushion from Target. The seahorses are from Hobby Lobby as well.

The stool Tom made so I could feel more comfortable with my feet propped. We will be able to use this much past breastfeeding days too.

I got the curtains from Target when they were having a sale. I felt like I had really hit adult status because we have never had actual curtains before.

This is my favorite room in the house right now, and not just because it is done. I love the colors of the decor and the paint, and I especially love that we used the same furniture with George but it looks vastly different.

Now to just finish the rest of the house. And how do you decorate bathrooms?

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Daphne-1 Month

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Weight:  She is 9 lbs. She is gaining weight much faster than her brother.

Health: We had some issues with her digestion these past couple weeks. She has had some projectile vomit. So much that I am not sure how she was gaining weight. She also was constipated and wasn’t pooping for a couple days. She has some serious gas, and she looks like she is in pain when she is trying to pass it. I am not convinced that she is allergic to something I am eating. I don’t have the same diet every day, and her symptoms are not consistent with similar food items. We took her to our chiropractor before calling our pediatrician to see if an adjustment would help clear her out. I wasn’t sure if there was anything our ped could give her since she was so little, so I figured we would try this non-med way first. I am not even joking when I say it was less than 5 seconds after she was adjusted that she let out a huge poop. She also gave us some stretches that we can do with her to keep her immune system up, so I was thankful that we went this route.

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Diet: She is exclusively breastfed. She does really well, but she does like to comfort feed in the afternoon/evening time. So that makes it really hard because she will just cry until I give her the boob. She is a little better these past couple days after getting her poop clear, but it’s still every hour or two hours during the day. She will eat for 15-30 minutes each time, so you can imagine how my day goes when she wants to comfort feed.

Clothes: She is in newborn clothes and diapers. She can’t fit into any of her shoes right now.

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Sleeping:  I really cannot complain about our days of comfort feeding because she is an awesome newborn sleeper at night. She will sleep anywhere between 4-7 hours over night. I know, I know, we are super lucky. During the day she won’t nap for more than 45 minutes at a time, unless I have her in the wrap carrier. I do wonder if she just sleeps better flat because she is in the pack and play in our room at night and the rock and play during the day which is at an incline.

Likes:  Feeding. The wrap carrier. Riding in the car.

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Dislikes:  She does not like pacifiers. We tried to get this to work so I wasn’t feeding her constantly, but to no avail she has not taken to it. She hates the hours between 5-10pm. Dinner to bedtime is a struggle in our house right now.

Nicknames: Sister Friend, Girlfriend, Sweet Cheeks, DC, Daphie, Daph, and Daphne June. 

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Quirks:  She looks at you with only one eye open. She has started squeaking/humming in her sleep. It is super cute.

We parents are:  doing pretty good. I have my check-up this week, so I hope I get the go ahead to exercise fully again. I am getting antsy. I have been walking a lot with Daphne, but I want to start adding some weight workouts to build my strength up again. Working out really helps me feel more like myself. I am back in my pre-pregnancy pants, but I still have some stuff I would like to lose around the middle to feel more comfortable. Tom went back to work this week. I know he was so ready to get back at it, but it has been really nice to have him home this past month. I have successfully taken the two of them out solo to and from our sitter, but I have yet to try a place where we all have to get out of the car as a threesome where it wasn’t someone else’s house. I was going to attempt church today on my own with them, but it was down-pouring and that shook my confidence. Baby steps. Our house is just about done. We just have a few minor things left from the contractor, but we are fully living in the new wing. I want to do tours of the rooms here on the blog as soon we get all the decor up on the walls. It has been a huge stress relief to get settled into the new part of the house.

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George is:  doing amazing. I have been so proud of him this past month. He has had minimal issues with our newest addition. We have had to work on being gentle and not so crazy around her. He just has so much energy sometimes and has a hard time containing it when he is near her. 

The dogs are: doing ok. They are actually the two that have had the hardest adjustment this past month. Between the house changes, having strangers in our house daily, and Daphne coming home, it has been a lot for the dogs. We have had some behavior issues, but it is getting better with lots of outside time. Our vet also found a cancerous tumor on Crosby’s hip this week, so he will be having surgery here soon.

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Here is George at one month.

We love you so much girlie! We can’t wait to see the person you become, but for now I will enjoy all these newborn struggles.

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Year 6

Today marks SIX years married for Tom and I, and about this time 10 years ago we went on our first date.

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10 years ago, a summer romance turned into a lifetime for us.

I really don’t even know where to begin writing this post on our 6th year of marriage. It seems like last summer was a lifetime ago, and so much has happened since our last anniversary.

Towards the end of the summer, we were able to pay off all our remaining debt and our finances really stabilized because of the incoming cash flow.

We started talking about the next steps for our family. We knew we wanted to have another child, and now it seemed like a good time to start. We felt ready financially, and we also felt like George was at a good age where we could manage two.

However first, we wanted to look at our living situation. We had some serious conversations on what we wanted out of a house. We really loved our property, but knew in the long run we would outgrow it. We decided to just go for it and add on to the house before we had another kid. Unbeknownst to us, we were already cooking baby 2 when we started drawing up the plans with our contractor.

In August, we celebrated George’s 2nd birthday. I loved how all of this came together to honor the little man. A week later, we gave him his first big boy haircut and lost those curls.

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We started another school year, which had me teaching in a classroom again. It was definitely the type of teaching that I enjoy, and I am so grateful to have that experience with the freshmen class.

George saw a train in real life for the first time, and we experienced Silver Dollar City a couple times that fall.

We traveled to Iowa a couple times to see old students and friends tie the knot.

We had a great fall season with many things happening:

  • George was George Brett for Halloween and went trick or treating for real.
  • I went to my Alma mater for Homecoming for the first time in a long time and marched on the field with George. #bandgeekforlife
  • I  ran a 10k with my sister-in-law.
  • We went to pumpkin patches, corn mazes, and did all the fally things.
  • George also got to experience his first Chiefs game.

But all of this pales in comparison to the news that we were expecting baby 2.

The year became about preparing everything for her arrival:  our hearts and minds, our house, our finances, and George. We needed to prepare for the ultimate expansion of our family.

Thanks be to God, I received a promotion not long after the news of the baby. If anything, this year really solidified that God blessed me with the most amazing work life. I love the job that I get to do, and the people I get to work with.

In January, we found out that we were having a girl. I realized I never shared the video of how we told Tom’s family we were expecting a little lady.

We also started potty training George in January. I am so happy this went over well, but it was a trying time in our house that first month. If Tom and I can overcome potty training, I feel like we can overcome a lot more!

In February, I went to my first work conference since having George. It was the first time I was away from him for more than 24 hours in his entire life. These are the moments that make me grateful to have a partner like Tom. He took off that entire week to be with George and made it a special bonding time for the two of them. He made it so I could go focus on my professional self more, which is something I have not done in years.

This spring I also went on a ladies only trip with my favorite women. Again another time that Tom knew I needed to foster my relationships outside of our marriage.

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April brought us our baby shower, and then we settled in for the last few weeks of enjoying time as a family of three.

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May was a big month for us. Our house was getting near the end of the renovation. I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia again and trying to get everything settled at work for my leave.

Then on May 18th, Daphne Christine made her way into the world swiftly.

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I had a traumatic experience the day she was born. I thank God every day that I look into my family’s faces that I came through that fully back to normal. By His grace alone was that possible.

Daphne has been with us for a month now, and we are adjusting to life as a family of four quite nicely I believe.

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This year has been so full of changes, but also was an opportunity for us to be still. Tom and I have had to have hard discussions about our future whether that be our investments or how we decide to parent. (Parenting a toddler brings out the best and worst in people.)

This year we really tried to make sure that each other’s needs were being met so we could be the best for each other and our children. It is still a work in progress some days, but marriage will always ebb and flow.

We have really come into our own as a couple this year. Our jobs are good; our family is good; and we love our newish house.

I was talking with a friend recently about how it seems like this is the time that we are no longer working towards something. We aren’t in school; we aren’t waiting for something to end like the Army; and we have the family and jobs we hoped and prayed for. We have everything we ever wanted and dreamed of right now. This is the time that we are supposed to just enjoy the fruits of our labor and to be normal and settled.

I can’t wait to see what this next year brings.

Especially with these two leading the way.

I am so thankful for the years we have had together. While every day is not a piece of cake, I am glad that I am in the search of that cake with you.

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I love you more than yesterday. Let’s settle in to enjoy year seven.

If you want to read more about the past 10 years for Tom and I, you can go here to see several posts about our relationship.

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The Kind of Dad

Tom went back to work today after four weeks at home with our baby girl.

(Also how was this four weeks ago?)

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My first day completely alone with the kids makes me really grateful for the partner I have in life. It has been really nice to both be home for this past month, and I am so thankful he had the opportunity and support to take that much time off. Many fathers do not, so I count this past month as a blessing (in more ways than one).

And as another Father’s Day approaches, I am so happy to watch Tom as a dad.

He is the kind of dad who drives the lawn mower to the mailbox just so his son can pick up the mail.

He is the kind of dad who makes wood replicas of his power tools so George can feel involved when they are in the shop.

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He is the kind of dad who spends hours outside playing in the dirt and doing special projects with George.

He is the kind of dad who builds forts and make believe caves.

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He is the kind of dad who drives to the back of our house so George can wave to Daddy from his window when he is on the night shift.

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He is the kind of dad who puts on a red headlamp in the middle of the night to check on the kids…like every hour.

He is the kind of dad who teaches George things all kinds of things and doesn’t stray away from a subject just because he is two years old. Hence why George knows how to build a fire…

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Most people know Tom as the tough guy, and very few people get to see the gentle side of him. Our kids get that side every day, and I love that I get to witness these moments with them.

He is definitely a fun dad, and has more patience than I do most days. He reminds me to not be so structured and enjoy every day moments with our kids. I have had many proud moments as Tom’s wife, but seeing him as a dad is probably one of my favorites.

And to think he didn’t want kids when we first met, and now he has two.