March 21, 2013 by Stephanie

Lean In

Now that Tom is back, I keep getting the question, “How is he adjusting back?”

I will say that my husband is very good at compartmentalizing things. It is a skill that I envy at times. He is good at separating things and knowing when to appropriately deal with them. So for the most part, I would say that the adjustment is going really well. He is awesome, what can I say?

There have been a few minor things for us to work through, but you have to make adjustments in any relationship when circumstances around you change. You learn and adapt with the growing pains. You talk it out and figure it out together. If you don’t then you are just stubborn. I will admit, I have had my own few moments of stubbornness since Tom has gotten back which I have since learned the error of my ways. In most cases, we have picked up right where we left off when he left in September. But there have been small nuances that I noticed that I tried to change without understanding. Because my world hadn’t physically changed, I forgot in those moments that so much had for Tom. Seeking to understand was something that I preach every day at work, and here I was assuming that I know everything about Tom. Whoops.

There are many things about the deployment that I still don’t know or will never understand. It is what it is. He experienced it so I don’t have to. Regardless if I think about it or not, the deployment is part of who he is now. I just need to be patient and willing to ask questions and not always get an answer. Ain’t that the pits though?

You will ALWAYS be learning about your partner. Do I know Tom the best? Absolutely, but things are constantly changing for both of us. I needed to be more aware of the things that I was saying and how I was reacting to him. Yes there have been some things that are different, but that doesn’t mean that deep down he isn’t the man that I married. And I am sure we will have to adjust again once I move on base with him this summer. Just wait until my OCD comes out when we reorganize. (“You put those spoons where?”)

Everyone has little quirks that we have to accept and move past lovingly. The best way we are getting through that is being open and honest with each other. We both have to be patient and be willing to say “I’m sorry.” That’s about all you can ask for really. Like I said, we are doing just dandy adjusting back to both being in the states and we are creating our happily ever after for once.

Life is a constant roller coaster. It goes a lot smoother if you lean in a little bit and change your position based on the turns. I am serious on that one. I rode roller coasters for a living for a few years. (Yay Worlds of Fun!) If you sit back against the seat in resistance, you don’t enjoy the ride as much, and it may seem bumpier or a “rough ride.” Life is just like this. You have to lean in a bit on the corners and just ride it out. And sometimes you put your hands in the air and scream it out. Who doesn’t love a little air time?

This week my craft comes from my staff. We do fun on ones once a semester to change up our normal weekly office meetings. They get to choose what fun activity we do, and this time one of my staff wanted to make something for our event. So craft away we did!

She bought a canvas bag, ribbon, liquid stitch, and the t-shirt she wanted to use.

Liquid stitch is awesome! I had never heard of it before Megan introduced me to it. You just have to iron it! Mind blown.

Megan did most of the work. I just assisted with cutting and placement holding. But who doesn’t love crafting as part of your job?

March 10, 2013 by Stephanie

Kicking it On Top of the World

Nothing is going to bring you down when you are about to see your love after 6 months of the unknown.

Not even pulling an all-nighter. For those who know me, they are well aware that I am not a happy camper without my sleep. I become a much angrier version of myself. I have nightmares of what my last all-nighter looked like my freshmen year of college with Amy as we studied for our American Government final-wretched.

Tom was scheduled to come in at 7pm originally, which with that I figured we would have an all-nighter anyway with not having seen each other in 6 months. But that was on my terms. The first lesson you learn in the military is that plans always change at the last minute. Days before his trip, they pushed back the flight arrival to 1:30am. Oh goodness.

And of course you have to be there several hours before they actually land, so I drove up to the parade field at 10:30pm and boarded what looked like a prison bus with several other wide-eyed families so they can take you to the hanger outside of the airfield.

Then you just sit on these hard cold bleachers in a hanger for a couple hours as a soldier counts down every 10 minutes. I played several rounds of bejeweled and tried to read a book, but my nerves were on high alert and I ended up looking at the time every few seconds. You would think the last 2 hours would be easy compared to going through 6 months of waiting.

Wrong, they were the worst 2 hours of the whole deployment.

And of course it is probably the one time of the year that it decided to be snowing and gross in KY. So when they had us file outside to wait for the plane for a half hour, I am pretty sure I lost feeling of my toes and nose as we were waiting for the plane to land.

So here I was at 1 o’clock in the morning, wet, cold, anxious and cranky. Surrounded by other wet, cold, anxious, and cranky people. We were a sight.

But then we heard that humming noise. All of a sudden, there is a plane in front of our face.

It was pretty cool to see a plane land right in front of you, and even more special considering the cargo it held.

Then we waited for what seemed forever for them to actually get off the plane and watch them file past us. Ugh they all looked the same in the uniforms and through the snow and tears of joy. Where was my hubby?!?

And then I saw him!

There is my guy.

All the worry, all the anxiety, all the everything just melted away. I didn’t feel cold; I wasn’t tired; I was on top of the world. I have him back!

I was half tempted to jump the barricade and go tackle him right there, but my better judgement won over there.

Then we waited for a 5 minute ceremony to commence before we were able to actually talk with our soldiers for 20 minutes.

We had our wonderful legs-wrapped-around-the-waist-hug airport moment. Nothing can compare to this moment.

You are just in shock that you are touching each other and seeing each other in real life. It is a goosebump moment.

Then after these wonderful few minutes, they have an exhilarating process of turning in sensitive items. This took about 4 hours….

You are not able to see your soldier during this time until the whole unit is done turning in the necessary gear. So you sit in a room with all the family members waiting for them to be released. Every time the door open, the whole room turned in anticipation and then slumped back down as we realize it was not them.

My cranky pants came back on at this point. I had hit the wall.

They were finally released around 6 am. We were heading back to the house as the rest of the base was coming into work.

It is hard to explain the nerves and joy that washed over me during this whole process. You look over, and it is a like a surprise all over again that he is actually back. We both kept saying that this felt like a dream.

As the song says, “I don’t think it’s ever felt so good, or felt so right. You here with me tonight.”

It’s in those moments that everything you just went through is worth it. You are on top of the world. This song was my anthem that weekend. Every word of this song expresses how I feel to have him back stateside.

And you are just really proud of what he accomplished. He just went and did something that very few in our country will do. But at the same time, you are pretty grateful that it is over for the time being.

Some other fun stories from that night: There was a proposal, a separate proposal that led to their marriage in a parking lot that night, and a father seeing his few month old baby girl for the first time.

I don’t think I will ever take these moments and grand experiences for granted. Going through this makes you realize what is important and how precious moments can be. Just soak it in.

It makes moments like this priceless.

I loved seeing how Grace loves her dad! They have been inseparable since.

We are still doing the long distance for now until I move this summer, but it is unbelievable good to know that the worst of it is over. I can call him anytime I want, and see him every couple of weeks.

You have to live in the moment, and be on top of the world as much as you can. It is even better when you have someone to share it with.

This craft is another map project to commemorate our moves.

I had the place, the map, and the years we lived there.

It was something I made in Publisher and then printed off.

I like how clean it looks. And it really matches my last map project.

And it will be easy to replicate when we move again.

Thanks for hearing our story. It was a great night and I am ecstatic to have him back safe and sound.

March 6, 2013 by Stephanie

To be Glinn Again

We all have those people that we can be with that make it seem like you go back in time or you just start right where you left off even if it has been years since you have seen each other.

Fortunately, the timing could not have been more perfect for me to have that exact experience. Last weekend, was the Disney Princess Half Marathon in Orlando. I was able to run with two good friends from grad school who I have not seen in a long time. As soon as I got in the car from the airport, I became Glinn again. It was like my identity had rolled back to a simpler time when I was known by my last name, my maiden name. (I went byGlinn for years through sports and having a common first name. Bless being born as an 80’s baby.)

I felt at home, tending my roots per say. Not that I don’t feel at home in Iowa; I love my life here. But this trip was a needed distraction from my daily life as a Whitener. As a Whitener, there was a constant feeling that part of my life wasn’t complete and I was just waiting. Always waiting.

You see, my husband was scheduled to come back last week. Yes return from deployment, come back. So you can imagine that I needed a distraction from the fact that I had less than a week before being reunited with the hubs after 6 months. And then Iowa decided to have a freakout with snow, so needless to say I did not need to be holed up in my apartment counting the seconds or snowflakes coming down before I could see that plane come in.

To be known by my last name for most of my life made me have a little identity crises when I first got married. Who was this Whitener person? It has taken me nearly 2 years to not flinch when I say my name because for second I forgot who I was. The other day, I still responded with Glinn as my last name-whoops. I have made myself look like an idiot on more than one occasion because I can’t remember who I am, and I fumble over my name. It’s like you have amnesia every time you have to introduce yourself.

So it was really nice to fall back to Glinn for a weekend. Although, I did freak out my girlfriends when I had to use my Whitener name at registration.

Glinn had given me a foundation. I grew up Glinn, and I will never lose it. My Glinn clumsy gene doesn’t let me soon forget. But sometimes it is nice to bring the Glinn side to the forefront just a little more.

It was so nice to visit with old friends and be able to share the memory of doing a Disney race together. When I signed up for the race in August, I knew it would be fun to get away from the Iowa winter and be with my gal pals. But I had no idea that the timing would be perfect before Tom and I’s reunion.

Godsend.

Anyway, doing a half marathon at Disney, was one of the coolest things I have done. Anyone who is a runner should definitely consider a Disney race for the experience. Throughout the race they had staged Disney characters that you could stop and take pictures with-or just enjoy as you run through as we did. I only stopped at the castle-eek! It was also really energizing to run through the parks midway through the race. It made running 13.1 miles just a little easier-not much but a little. Running through the castle was certainly magical. I felt famous with all the cameras and people lined up to cheer you on. Total ego boost.

It was a great experience, and it was awesome to see all the costumes and creativity. It was just a fun and silly weekend all around. Like I said, perfect distraction. And who doesn’t love dressing up in tutus with close friends, and thousands of total strangers?

So here’s to being Glinn again, or still.

Moving on.

This craft was really easy to make. You need scrapbook paper, frames, velcro tape, and a dry erase marker.

I already had scrapbook paper that had the planner design, so that made that part easy.

You just put the paper in the frame. Then put a piece of velcro tape on the frame and the marker. I bought the markers that have little erasers at then end to make it as easy as possible, but you don’t need these.

Then, there you have a dry erase calendar.

Super easy but fun gifts!

The next couple posts will be about Tom’s return home! I just need to find some crafts to do for them.

February 17, 2013 by Stephanie

Say I Love You

Like many churches, we were asked to go through a marriage counseling class before our wedding with our church.

They had several couples come throughout the day to give us advice. For the most part, we had great discussions and things were applicable to our relationship.

But there was one couple who made remarks that I still disagree with to this day. They said that Tom and I didn’t take love seriously if we said “I love you” all the time. They thought that it didn’t make it special if you threw it out at each other anytime and everyday. I believe they called us young and naive with how we say those words.

Plain silliness.

I think saying “I love you” has kept us together as long we have. If we didn’t have love, then what I am I sitting here in Iowa all by myself for?

I fully believe that you should proclaim your love to those that you love every chance you get.

I will say it in the heat of an argument to remind myself that I do love him and whatever we are fighting about is really not a big deal.

I will say it randomly and out of the blue just to feel some love.

I will say it to be romantic.

I will say it to compliment something that Tom has done for me.

I will say it because Tom is doing something uber cute that makes me fall for him just a little bit more.

I will say it to remind Tom that I am always here for him no matter what life throws at us.

I will say it anytime we have to say goodbye or before we go to sleep.

I will say it because I am not always sure if this time will be the last time. And I want him to know that I do. No doubts.

I say it because that’s how I feel, and why wouldn’t I reiterate to my husband that I love him dearly anytime I can?

We should say those three words when we feel it. Yes, there is a lot of meaning when you put it out there, so it shouldn’t be said unless you actually feel it. But love is meant to be shared so let it out and tell people that you love them.

During Tom’s basic training, I wrote him a letter each day because you don’t get to interact any other way. And each day I ended it with, “I love you more than yesterday.” Love should grow. So each time I say it, it means a little bit more.

So that couple in my opinion was wrong. You should say it as many times as you can. We all need real love. It is fundamental.

(I will add that this couple also told us to sniff diapers and charcoal to learn more about each other. So I am not sure how much I would actually take their advice in the first place.)

My craft tonight is inspired by Tom and I’s journey of love.

It was really easy to make.

You need:

maps (I ended up just printing them of the internet because some of the cities I needed were on state borders and thus meant they were on the crease in the atlas. )
3 part picture frame
marker

I cut the maps down to size and then traced the words with a marker.

Tom and I met in KC, MO; got engaged in Savannah, GA; and married in Jeff City, MO.

Also fun fact, KC is where I grew up and JC is where Tom grew up. I think that is just fun that they sandwich Savannah where we would like to retire someday.

We might add other frames with the places that we have lived together since it looks like we still have a few travels ahead!

January 27, 2013 by Stephanie

Have a Little Faith

Last weekend, I was with my best friend shopping for a wedding present for a friend of ours. As we were checking out, the checker asked whose wedding we were attending. We explained that it was a friend of ours from college. She then asked, “Oh is this her first marriage?”

Annette and I both look like we are still in college so I am not sure where she was coming from on this. She then went on to explain her parent’s divorces and how many people just don’t make it these days.

Well unfortunately she is right. But we were still dumbfounded that it was so common for her to ask mid twenty somethings “if this was her first marriage” like it was nothing.

Typically that is not the first question you are expecting after talking about a wedding.

I come from divorced parents myself so marriage was never something that I took lightly. Tom and I were together for 3 years before we got engaged and then another year before we tied the knot. We went through a lot in that time to figure out that marriage was our fate.

I am not against divorce. Watching my parents over the years, I understand that sometimes, even though divorce can be messy, it is the best for all parties involved. And sometimes it is the only answer to make everyone happy in the long run. There are a lot of reasons why divorce is good and necessary.

But this is not an entry on the benefits of divorce. Marriage is hard work, and sometimes you aren’t perfectly Disney happy. But, I know that I want my marriage to last.

So to make it, you have to have a little faith.

And boy has ours needed faith pretty much since the day we got married.

You envision a marriage growing up as something you see in fairy tales. So perfect and lovely, and always happy endings with a fantastic symphonic overture.

Well, Tom and I have been tested since day one. From Tom’s job search here in IA not panning out as we hoped, and now mine in KY hitting a brick wall, oh and then there is this whole Army thing and being apart for the better part of a year. We have got to have some faith in our foundations.

We have to have faith that someday we will actually be together not stressed about job searches or where we live. (Although my dad in his infinite wisdom says there is always something to stress about. Thanks for the pep talk, Daddio.)

We have to have faith that Tom will return safely.

We have to have faith in us.

I wear Tom’s wedding ring on a necklace every day. I get asked all the time if it’s Tom’s or my dad’s.

Yes, he could wear it over there, but he didn’t want it damaged in case something happened.

So I wear it. Everyday, everywhere. It is a little piece of him close to my heart at all times.

And do you know what is written on the inside of the ring? FAITH.

No joke. I noticed it one day while he was in basic training last year. Neither of us knew it was there until then. Talk about bringing chills.

So it is a constant reminder to me, just to hold on a little longer. Have some faith.

Faith can give you the strength to do things you never imagined.

I never thought I could be an Army wife, until I met Tom. Just a lot of faith, and maybe a little bit of crazy.

So what do you have faith in?

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Now back to the notion of fairy tales and all that jazz.

My favorite princess growing up was Belle. I thought she was awesome. She was a book reader like me (I fantasize about having a library like the one in the movie), and we both have brown hair and blue eyes. I also thought I could sing as well as her when I was a kid, but who was I kidding? Anyway, when you are a kid those were really all the similarities you needed. At the time, I thought all the other princesses were too girly or blonde.

Anyway, my love for Belle and the story of Beauty and the Beast has grown up with me. I freaked out when I was 25 and met her at Disneyworld. I still love the character to this day.

And I would say that I took some of Belle’s notes and have tamed a beast myself when I started dating Tom. On our first date, he did tell me he didn’t want kids or to get married.

In a month, I will have the chance to meet my childhood idol once again!

I am going to be running the Disney Princess Half Marathon at Disneyworld. And incidentally, the two women in the picture above are the two who I am running it with.

And yes, I am going to be dressing up as Belle. EEEEK! Dreams really do come true!

This weekend I made my tutu and headband for the affair. I am so pumped!

For the tutu I used 6 spools of tulle (4 yellow and 2 glitter) and an elastic band.

I sewed the band. I would do it smaller than your actual waist because it will stretch as you tie on the tulle. I had to cut some extra off towards the end and sew again, because it grew as I worked through it.

Then you just make knots with the tulle.

Super easy.