Lean In

Now that Tom is back, I keep getting the question, “How is he adjusting back?”

I will say that my husband is very good at compartmentalizing things. It is a skill that I envy at times. He is good at separating things and knowing when to appropriately deal with them. So for the most part, I would say that the adjustment is going really well. He is awesome, what can I say?

There have been a few minor things for us to work through, but you have to make adjustments in any relationship when circumstances around you change. You learn and adapt with the growing pains. You talk it out and figure it out together. If you don’t then you are just stubborn. I will admit, I have had my own few moments of stubbornness since Tom has gotten back which I have since learned the error of my ways. In most cases, we have picked up right where we left off when he left in September. But there have been small nuances that I noticed that I tried to change without understanding. Because my world hadn’t physically changed, I forgot in those moments that so much had for Tom. Seeking to understand was something that I preach every day at work, and here I was assuming that I know everything about Tom. Whoops.

There are many things about the deployment that I still don’t know or will never understand. It is what it is. He experienced it so I don’t have to. Regardless if I think about it or not, the deployment is part of who he is now. I just need to be patient and willing to ask questions and not always get an answer. Ain’t that the pits though?

You will ALWAYS be learning about your partner. Do I know Tom the best? Absolutely, but things are constantly changing for both of us. I needed to be more aware of the things that I was saying and how I was reacting to him. Yes there have been some things that are different, but that doesn’t mean that deep down he isn’t the man that I married. And I am sure we will have to adjust again once I move on base with him this summer. Just wait until my OCD comes out when we reorganize. (“You put those spoons where?”)

Everyone has little quirks that we have to accept and move past lovingly. The best way we are getting through that is being open and honest with each other. We both have to be patient and be willing to say “I’m sorry.” That’s about all you can ask for really. Like I said, we are doing just dandy adjusting back to both being in the states and we are creating our happily ever after for once.

Life is a constant roller coaster. It goes a lot smoother if you lean in a little bit and change your position based on the turns. I am serious on that one. I rode roller coasters for a living for a few years. (Yay Worlds of Fun!) If you sit back against the seat in resistance, you don’t enjoy the ride as much, and it may seem bumpier or a “rough ride.” Life is just like this. You have to lean in a bit on the corners and just ride it out. And sometimes you put your hands in the air and scream it out. Who doesn’t love a little air time?

This week my craft comes from my staff. We do fun on ones once a semester to change up our normal weekly office meetings. They get to choose what fun activity we do, and this time one of my staff wanted to make something for our event. So craft away we did!

She bought a canvas bag, ribbon, liquid stitch, and the t-shirt she wanted to use.