March 21, 2013 by Stephanie

Lean In

Now that Tom is back, I keep getting the question, “How is he adjusting back?”

I will say that my husband is very good at compartmentalizing things. It is a skill that I envy at times. He is good at separating things and knowing when to appropriately deal with them. So for the most part, I would say that the adjustment is going really well. He is awesome, what can I say?

There have been a few minor things for us to work through, but you have to make adjustments in any relationship when circumstances around you change. You learn and adapt with the growing pains. You talk it out and figure it out together. If you don’t then you are just stubborn. I will admit, I have had my own few moments of stubbornness since Tom has gotten back which I have since learned the error of my ways. In most cases, we have picked up right where we left off when he left in September. But there have been small nuances that I noticed that I tried to change without understanding. Because my world hadn’t physically changed, I forgot in those moments that so much had for Tom. Seeking to understand was something that I preach every day at work, and here I was assuming that I know everything about Tom. Whoops.

There are many things about the deployment that I still don’t know or will never understand. It is what it is. He experienced it so I don’t have to. Regardless if I think about it or not, the deployment is part of who he is now. I just need to be patient and willing to ask questions and not always get an answer. Ain’t that the pits though?

You will ALWAYS be learning about your partner. Do I know Tom the best? Absolutely, but things are constantly changing for both of us. I needed to be more aware of the things that I was saying and how I was reacting to him. Yes there have been some things that are different, but that doesn’t mean that deep down he isn’t the man that I married. And I am sure we will have to adjust again once I move on base with him this summer. Just wait until my OCD comes out when we reorganize. (“You put those spoons where?”)

Everyone has little quirks that we have to accept and move past lovingly. The best way we are getting through that is being open and honest with each other. We both have to be patient and be willing to say “I’m sorry.” That’s about all you can ask for really. Like I said, we are doing just dandy adjusting back to both being in the states and we are creating our happily ever after for once.

Life is a constant roller coaster. It goes a lot smoother if you lean in a little bit and change your position based on the turns. I am serious on that one. I rode roller coasters for a living for a few years. (Yay Worlds of Fun!) If you sit back against the seat in resistance, you don’t enjoy the ride as much, and it may seem bumpier or a “rough ride.” Life is just like this. You have to lean in a bit on the corners and just ride it out. And sometimes you put your hands in the air and scream it out. Who doesn’t love a little air time?

This week my craft comes from my staff. We do fun on ones once a semester to change up our normal weekly office meetings. They get to choose what fun activity we do, and this time one of my staff wanted to make something for our event. So craft away we did!

She bought a canvas bag, ribbon, liquid stitch, and the t-shirt she wanted to use.

Liquid stitch is awesome! I had never heard of it before Megan introduced me to it. You just have to iron it! Mind blown.

Megan did most of the work. I just assisted with cutting and placement holding. But who doesn’t love crafting as part of your job?

March 10, 2013 by Stephanie

Kicking it On Top of the World

Nothing is going to bring you down when you are about to see your love after 6 months of the unknown.

Not even pulling an all-nighter. For those who know me, they are well aware that I am not a happy camper without my sleep. I become a much angrier version of myself. I have nightmares of what my last all-nighter looked like my freshmen year of college with Amy as we studied for our American Government final-wretched.

Tom was scheduled to come in at 7pm originally, which with that I figured we would have an all-nighter anyway with not having seen each other in 6 months. But that was on my terms. The first lesson you learn in the military is that plans always change at the last minute. Days before his trip, they pushed back the flight arrival to 1:30am. Oh goodness.

And of course you have to be there several hours before they actually land, so I drove up to the parade field at 10:30pm and boarded what looked like a prison bus with several other wide-eyed families so they can take you to the hanger outside of the airfield.

Then you just sit on these hard cold bleachers in a hanger for a couple hours as a soldier counts down every 10 minutes. I played several rounds of bejeweled and tried to read a book, but my nerves were on high alert and I ended up looking at the time every few seconds. You would think the last 2 hours would be easy compared to going through 6 months of waiting.

Wrong, they were the worst 2 hours of the whole deployment.

And of course it is probably the one time of the year that it decided to be snowing and gross in KY. So when they had us file outside to wait for the plane for a half hour, I am pretty sure I lost feeling of my toes and nose as we were waiting for the plane to land.

So here I was at 1 o’clock in the morning, wet, cold, anxious and cranky. Surrounded by other wet, cold, anxious, and cranky people. We were a sight.

But then we heard that humming noise. All of a sudden, there is a plane in front of our face.

It was pretty cool to see a plane land right in front of you, and even more special considering the cargo it held.

Then we waited for what seemed forever for them to actually get off the plane and watch them file past us. Ugh they all looked the same in the uniforms and through the snow and tears of joy. Where was my hubby?!?

And then I saw him!

There is my guy.

All the worry, all the anxiety, all the everything just melted away. I didn’t feel cold; I wasn’t tired; I was on top of the world. I have him back!

I was half tempted to jump the barricade and go tackle him right there, but my better judgement won over there.

Then we waited for a 5 minute ceremony to commence before we were able to actually talk with our soldiers for 20 minutes.

We had our wonderful legs-wrapped-around-the-waist-hug airport moment. Nothing can compare to this moment.

You are just in shock that you are touching each other and seeing each other in real life. It is a goosebump moment.

Then after these wonderful few minutes, they have an exhilarating process of turning in sensitive items. This took about 4 hours….

You are not able to see your soldier during this time until the whole unit is done turning in the necessary gear. So you sit in a room with all the family members waiting for them to be released. Every time the door open, the whole room turned in anticipation and then slumped back down as we realize it was not them.

My cranky pants came back on at this point. I had hit the wall.

They were finally released around 6 am. We were heading back to the house as the rest of the base was coming into work.

It is hard to explain the nerves and joy that washed over me during this whole process. You look over, and it is a like a surprise all over again that he is actually back. We both kept saying that this felt like a dream.

As the song says, “I don’t think it’s ever felt so good, or felt so right. You here with me tonight.”

It’s in those moments that everything you just went through is worth it. You are on top of the world. This song was my anthem that weekend. Every word of this song expresses how I feel to have him back stateside.

And you are just really proud of what he accomplished. He just went and did something that very few in our country will do. But at the same time, you are pretty grateful that it is over for the time being.

Some other fun stories from that night: There was a proposal, a separate proposal that led to their marriage in a parking lot that night, and a father seeing his few month old baby girl for the first time.

I don’t think I will ever take these moments and grand experiences for granted. Going through this makes you realize what is important and how precious moments can be. Just soak it in.

It makes moments like this priceless.

I loved seeing how Grace loves her dad! They have been inseparable since.

We are still doing the long distance for now until I move this summer, but it is unbelievable good to know that the worst of it is over. I can call him anytime I want, and see him every couple of weeks.

You have to live in the moment, and be on top of the world as much as you can. It is even better when you have someone to share it with.

This craft is another map project to commemorate our moves.

I had the place, the map, and the years we lived there.

It was something I made in Publisher and then printed off.

I like how clean it looks. And it really matches my last map project.

And it will be easy to replicate when we move again.

Thanks for hearing our story. It was a great night and I am ecstatic to have him back safe and sound.

March 6, 2013 by Stephanie

To be Glinn Again

We all have those people that we can be with that make it seem like you go back in time or you just start right where you left off even if it has been years since you have seen each other.

Fortunately, the timing could not have been more perfect for me to have that exact experience. Last weekend, was the Disney Princess Half Marathon in Orlando. I was able to run with two good friends from grad school who I have not seen in a long time. As soon as I got in the car from the airport, I became Glinn again. It was like my identity had rolled back to a simpler time when I was known by my last name, my maiden name. (I went byGlinn for years through sports and having a common first name. Bless being born as an 80’s baby.)

I felt at home, tending my roots per say. Not that I don’t feel at home in Iowa; I love my life here. But this trip was a needed distraction from my daily life as a Whitener. As a Whitener, there was a constant feeling that part of my life wasn’t complete and I was just waiting. Always waiting.

You see, my husband was scheduled to come back last week. Yes return from deployment, come back. So you can imagine that I needed a distraction from the fact that I had less than a week before being reunited with the hubs after 6 months. And then Iowa decided to have a freakout with snow, so needless to say I did not need to be holed up in my apartment counting the seconds or snowflakes coming down before I could see that plane come in.

To be known by my last name for most of my life made me have a little identity crises when I first got married. Who was this Whitener person? It has taken me nearly 2 years to not flinch when I say my name because for second I forgot who I was. The other day, I still responded with Glinn as my last name-whoops. I have made myself look like an idiot on more than one occasion because I can’t remember who I am, and I fumble over my name. It’s like you have amnesia every time you have to introduce yourself.

So it was really nice to fall back to Glinn for a weekend. Although, I did freak out my girlfriends when I had to use my Whitener name at registration.

Glinn had given me a foundation. I grew up Glinn, and I will never lose it. My Glinn clumsy gene doesn’t let me soon forget. But sometimes it is nice to bring the Glinn side to the forefront just a little more.

It was so nice to visit with old friends and be able to share the memory of doing a Disney race together. When I signed up for the race in August, I knew it would be fun to get away from the Iowa winter and be with my gal pals. But I had no idea that the timing would be perfect before Tom and I’s reunion.

Godsend.

Anyway, doing a half marathon at Disney, was one of the coolest things I have done. Anyone who is a runner should definitely consider a Disney race for the experience. Throughout the race they had staged Disney characters that you could stop and take pictures with-or just enjoy as you run through as we did. I only stopped at the castle-eek! It was also really energizing to run through the parks midway through the race. It made running 13.1 miles just a little easier-not much but a little. Running through the castle was certainly magical. I felt famous with all the cameras and people lined up to cheer you on. Total ego boost.

It was a great experience, and it was awesome to see all the costumes and creativity. It was just a fun and silly weekend all around. Like I said, perfect distraction. And who doesn’t love dressing up in tutus with close friends, and thousands of total strangers?

So here’s to being Glinn again, or still.

Moving on.

This craft was really easy to make. You need scrapbook paper, frames, velcro tape, and a dry erase marker.

I already had scrapbook paper that had the planner design, so that made that part easy.

You just put the paper in the frame. Then put a piece of velcro tape on the frame and the marker. I bought the markers that have little erasers at then end to make it as easy as possible, but you don’t need these.

Then, there you have a dry erase calendar.

Super easy but fun gifts!

The next couple posts will be about Tom’s return home! I just need to find some crafts to do for them.

February 17, 2013 by Stephanie

Say I Love You

Like many churches, we were asked to go through a marriage counseling class before our wedding with our church.

They had several couples come throughout the day to give us advice. For the most part, we had great discussions and things were applicable to our relationship.

But there was one couple who made remarks that I still disagree with to this day. They said that Tom and I didn’t take love seriously if we said “I love you” all the time. They thought that it didn’t make it special if you threw it out at each other anytime and everyday. I believe they called us young and naive with how we say those words.

Plain silliness.

I think saying “I love you” has kept us together as long we have. If we didn’t have love, then what I am I sitting here in Iowa all by myself for?

I fully believe that you should proclaim your love to those that you love every chance you get.

I will say it in the heat of an argument to remind myself that I do love him and whatever we are fighting about is really not a big deal.

I will say it randomly and out of the blue just to feel some love.

I will say it to be romantic.

I will say it to compliment something that Tom has done for me.

I will say it because Tom is doing something uber cute that makes me fall for him just a little bit more.

I will say it to remind Tom that I am always here for him no matter what life throws at us.

I will say it anytime we have to say goodbye or before we go to sleep.

I will say it because I am not always sure if this time will be the last time. And I want him to know that I do. No doubts.

I say it because that’s how I feel, and why wouldn’t I reiterate to my husband that I love him dearly anytime I can?

We should say those three words when we feel it. Yes, there is a lot of meaning when you put it out there, so it shouldn’t be said unless you actually feel it. But love is meant to be shared so let it out and tell people that you love them.

During Tom’s basic training, I wrote him a letter each day because you don’t get to interact any other way. And each day I ended it with, “I love you more than yesterday.” Love should grow. So each time I say it, it means a little bit more.

So that couple in my opinion was wrong. You should say it as many times as you can. We all need real love. It is fundamental.

(I will add that this couple also told us to sniff diapers and charcoal to learn more about each other. So I am not sure how much I would actually take their advice in the first place.)

My craft tonight is inspired by Tom and I’s journey of love.

It was really easy to make.

You need:

maps (I ended up just printing them of the internet because some of the cities I needed were on state borders and thus meant they were on the crease in the atlas. )
3 part picture frame
marker

I cut the maps down to size and then traced the words with a marker.

Tom and I met in KC, MO; got engaged in Savannah, GA; and married in Jeff City, MO.

Also fun fact, KC is where I grew up and JC is where Tom grew up. I think that is just fun that they sandwich Savannah where we would like to retire someday.

We might add other frames with the places that we have lived together since it looks like we still have a few travels ahead!

February 8, 2013 by Stephanie

Acascuse Me?!?

First of all, if you haven’t watched Pitch Perfect, you need to add it to your life like yesterday. Aca-amazing.

Second of all, this is going to be the post where I pull the Army Wife card. I have pulled back from writing this post when I am highly emotional, and I have debated whether to even write it ever. But I feel that it is a post that needs to be expressed.

Throughout my short career as an Army Spouse, I have been appalled on many occasions at the misunderstandings and perceptions that people in our nation have about the military.

Sometimes I have gotten so angry at an individual’s disdain and rudeness that I think I might throw up. Then I have to remind myself that many people just don’t know.

So let me educate you just a bit from my perspective. These are just a few things and definitely only hit the tip of the iceberg.

1. Men and Women of the military make a choice to defend our freedom and our country’s constitution. They endure months/years of demanding training both mentally and physically to be able to protect the rest of us in our very cushy lives.

2. Ultimately, they do not get to choose the missions they go to or where they are stationed. My husband got out of basic and then not even four months later was sent to Afghanistan. Not exactly how we imagined our second year of marriage.

3. Just because they are trained killers, doesn’t make them crazy and evil. No matter what the news/Capital Hill may say. My husband is one of the most loving, loyal and dedicated people I have ever met. The military is trying to help other nations keep the peace and find the means to better themselves. Our military gets a bad rap because that’s what sells newspapers. Because they wouldn’t want you to know that all over the world, units are supplying food, medical care, education, and just general support to help countries in their time of need.

4. They have the utmost respect for our country’s values. To hear these men and women talk about their pride or watch them when the national anthem is played-it leaves me speechless. Many of them learn how to care and be considerate of others because of what they have been through in the military. I think many people in our nation could take a lesson from what the military teaches about respect.

5. Not all people in the military are homophobes. Stop labeling them as such. That just makes you the judger.

6. Deployment is not vacation, even if they are surrounded by sand. There are no beachy umbrella drinks found here.

They can’t call home whenever they want. And when they do, it is not a private call. It may only last 30 seconds, but could last 30 minutes. But you never know when you get that call.
They can’t eat whatever they want. At Tom’s station there was one cook for the unit. So you ate when they served. If you happen to have night duty, you ate what family/friends sent you in care packages or MREs because the cook wasn’t on duty. Dietary choice is no longer a luxury. (However, my husband does love those MREs.)
My husband’s living situation was a room that is smaller than most walk in closets. This is where all of his gear and cot were. He now lives in a room the size of our bedroom with 7 other men (cots and all their gear).
They may not have typical modern toilets and have more of an outhouse situation going on. Can you imagine going in a port-a-potty for 9 months?
It isn’t a walk in the park. It’s dirty, temperatures cannot be controlled…most Americans would be miserable in their conditions. (I know I wouldn’t last one day…) But they do it willingly, many signing up for re-enlistment for a shot at another deployment.
They may have internet, but the connection isn’t as nice as they make it out to be on TV. Tom and I were only recently able to skype and even now the video is about 3 minutes behind on the audio which can make things weird while you are talking. Some places have it capable in their room and some don’t. Some have to wait in line to only have a few minutes online. And there are some people out there that believe that since they have internet that their deployments must be a breeze and not so horrible for the internet and Facebook must mean 1st world living. Seriously?
They are away from their loved ones and miss out on holidays, birthdays, big milestones, and just every day life. This has got to be one of the biggest sacrifices of all.
I could keep going, but I won’t. Just know that they are making substantial sacrifices and don’t act like it is nothing just because you may not agree with why they are over there.

7. There are a lot of good things that come out of a military career as well. To name a few:

You have a paying job and benefits, which in this economy is a blessing.
Education can be paid for. Yay no debts!
You get to see and experience the world. I know I have really enjoyed the unique knick knacks that have been sent home from other cultures.
There is support for not just you, but your entire family. This includes benefits, housing, education, lifestyle, counseling, etc.
Great sense of accomplishment and pride. Not everyone can do what they do.

I am not trying to say that being in the military makes you better than those that aren’t. We each have our own thing, and Lord knows that not everyone would flourish in a military lifestyle. What I am saying is that our country needs to take a little more time understanding what the military endures to protect us.

This week I had to deal with a financial situation where we were being charged for something that we had thought we had taken care of. Since it was Tom’s card, the customer service rep said I was not an authorized user. Even after explaining the situation, giving them all the card information, and letting them know I had power of attorney, they still denied me the right to take care of it. And they just kept saying, “Well you can take this into a branch to speak with someone in person.” The closest branch for this organization was 163 miles away. Then they said that since I was not authorized to do so my deployed husband could just call and take care of the dispute. They said this even after I explained to them repeatedly that he was deployed.

Oh no girl, you didn’t. Them is fighting words.

This situation made me furious. It takes me a lot to get heated, but this just kind of pushed me over the edge. So naturally I started crying to the rep and blubbering “He is deployed” over and over again. I was totally trying to pull the Army Wife card, and it just wasn’t working! He can’t just call willy nilly, he is half-way across the globe! I can’t just make him appear to fix this issue. Believe me, if I had that power, I’d be on that. (FYI, they still did nothing to help me that day. Tom ended up having to call when he could to take care of it, which was uber frustrating for both of us.)

It is situations like that that just make me sad and angry. There are so many misconceptions around the military, so please seek first to understand their situations. Even if you don’t agree with their purpose, they have a unique story to tell and has a right to be heard. They make sacrifices that even I don’t always understand. I have to check myself sometimes too, so I know it is not an easy pill to swallow.

These sacrifices are made so that we can live as a free nation. Our history is based on acts that service members have diligently fought and died for so we could get to where we are. Take a moment to honor that, I mean you are on the internet and all. 🙂

Maybe if we all knew what was at risk, we would be more appreciative of what we have.

I know after this experience I am.

One thing I know is that the military is a proud group who is willing to fight for the country and you. But I will ask you, who is fighting for them?

So with that little nugget to munch on, I will move on to my craft.

Every year I take some time to make a blanket for my honors fraternity, Phi Sigma Pi. We have an auction every spring as a fundraiser, and my contribution, even after graduating 5 years ago, is mailing in a homemade crocheted blanket. So each year, I come up with some new design and pull out yarn that are some shade of yellow and purple. It’s like my yearly challenge to come up with something better than the year before. Sometimes, I surprise myself with my creativeness and skill; other times I am just hoping someone will bid at least $5.

This year was a good year.

I tried a new stitch-the treble crochet.

My pattern was:

1. 3 single white on each end

2. purple 1 treble, 1 single, 1 treble, 1 single, 1 treble

3. 2 single white

4. repeat step two with yellow.

5. repeat step 3.

6. repeat step 2-5 until hit desired size.

I really like the effect of the treble.