January 27, 2013 by Stephanie

Have a Little Faith

Last weekend, I was with my best friend shopping for a wedding present for a friend of ours. As we were checking out, the checker asked whose wedding we were attending. We explained that it was a friend of ours from college. She then asked, “Oh is this her first marriage?”

Annette and I both look like we are still in college so I am not sure where she was coming from on this. She then went on to explain her parent’s divorces and how many people just don’t make it these days.

Well unfortunately she is right. But we were still dumbfounded that it was so common for her to ask mid twenty somethings “if this was her first marriage” like it was nothing.

Typically that is not the first question you are expecting after talking about a wedding.

I come from divorced parents myself so marriage was never something that I took lightly. Tom and I were together for 3 years before we got engaged and then another year before we tied the knot. We went through a lot in that time to figure out that marriage was our fate.

I am not against divorce. Watching my parents over the years, I understand that sometimes, even though divorce can be messy, it is the best for all parties involved. And sometimes it is the only answer to make everyone happy in the long run. There are a lot of reasons why divorce is good and necessary.

But this is not an entry on the benefits of divorce. Marriage is hard work, and sometimes you aren’t perfectly Disney happy. But, I know that I want my marriage to last.

So to make it, you have to have a little faith.

And boy has ours needed faith pretty much since the day we got married.

You envision a marriage growing up as something you see in fairy tales. So perfect and lovely, and always happy endings with a fantastic symphonic overture.

Well, Tom and I have been tested since day one. From Tom’s job search here in IA not panning out as we hoped, and now mine in KY hitting a brick wall, oh and then there is this whole Army thing and being apart for the better part of a year. We have got to have some faith in our foundations.

We have to have faith that someday we will actually be together not stressed about job searches or where we live. (Although my dad in his infinite wisdom says there is always something to stress about. Thanks for the pep talk, Daddio.)

We have to have faith that Tom will return safely.

We have to have faith in us.

I wear Tom’s wedding ring on a necklace every day. I get asked all the time if it’s Tom’s or my dad’s.

Yes, he could wear it over there, but he didn’t want it damaged in case something happened.

So I wear it. Everyday, everywhere. It is a little piece of him close to my heart at all times.

And do you know what is written on the inside of the ring? FAITH.

No joke. I noticed it one day while he was in basic training last year. Neither of us knew it was there until then. Talk about bringing chills.

So it is a constant reminder to me, just to hold on a little longer. Have some faith.

Faith can give you the strength to do things you never imagined.

I never thought I could be an Army wife, until I met Tom. Just a lot of faith, and maybe a little bit of crazy.

So what do you have faith in?

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Now back to the notion of fairy tales and all that jazz.

My favorite princess growing up was Belle. I thought she was awesome. She was a book reader like me (I fantasize about having a library like the one in the movie), and we both have brown hair and blue eyes. I also thought I could sing as well as her when I was a kid, but who was I kidding? Anyway, when you are a kid those were really all the similarities you needed. At the time, I thought all the other princesses were too girly or blonde.

Anyway, my love for Belle and the story of Beauty and the Beast has grown up with me. I freaked out when I was 25 and met her at Disneyworld. I still love the character to this day.

And I would say that I took some of Belle’s notes and have tamed a beast myself when I started dating Tom. On our first date, he did tell me he didn’t want kids or to get married.

In a month, I will have the chance to meet my childhood idol once again!

I am going to be running the Disney Princess Half Marathon at Disneyworld. And incidentally, the two women in the picture above are the two who I am running it with.

And yes, I am going to be dressing up as Belle. EEEEK! Dreams really do come true!

This weekend I made my tutu and headband for the affair. I am so pumped!

For the tutu I used 6 spools of tulle (4 yellow and 2 glitter) and an elastic band.

I sewed the band. I would do it smaller than your actual waist because it will stretch as you tie on the tulle. I had to cut some extra off towards the end and sew again, because it grew as I worked through it.

Then you just make knots with the tulle.

Super easy.

And if you are using glitter tulle this is what happens. Glitter everywhere.

And for the headband I will wear I bought several flowers, sequins to match and a simple headband.

Then you just hot-glue the flowers and the sequins to the headband. And voila, you have a princess headband!

I had extra flowers so I made these too. It was cheaper to buy several flowers and headbands in packs than individual ones. Go figure.

I didn’t have anyone to take my picture, so you will have to wait until February to see the full costume. I know the suspense may kill you.

Just know, that it is fantastic. I am sure this will be the most fun I have ever had running 13.1 miles.

January 21, 2013 by Stephanie

Go the Distance

“But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be that man who walk a thousand miles to fall down at your door”

About a month ago, I was coming home from a run with Grace and we were jamming out to this song. Ok, I was jamming out to it and Gracie just pranced around me like we were playing a game. But the lyrics got me thinking about the feeling of love and wanting to be where your person is. I know goooey oooey. What can I say? I love Thomas.

There are 10,000 miles currently between Tom and I. 10,000 miles. Hmmmm. Bummer.

My brain started going into overdrive as I was stretching from my run. I then logged my miles on my Charity Miles app, then whammo.

Idea Lightbulb.

I am currently training for my third half marathon, which will probably be my last. I don’t want to destroy my knees even more than they already are. It also takes a lot of time to train for these races. I am however the type of person who needs a goal to be productive with my workouts and get my lazy behind off the couch. I need something to attain or strive for. So this idea fit perfectly while also cutting back on half marathons, which have been my goal for the past 2 years.

I have decided to log all my miles I do whether outside or on a machine since I do live in a place where cold temps and snow are frequent and prevents me from running outside. Now here is where the song comes into play. My goal is to do 1,000 miles during 2013–just to be that woman who would walk a thousand miles. Eventually, I would like to log all 10,000 miles that have separated us, but it was not realistic to do that in one year. I would have to do at least 27 miles a day…ugh no.

The second part to this resolution is that I would like to log at least 500 of the miles on Charity Miles. This is a great app for your phone that will log your workout. It will chart walks, runs, and biking. For each mile that you do they will donate 25 cents (run or walk) or 10 cents (bike) to the charity of your choice. They have a lot of different charities to pick from so I highly recommend it for anyone who has a smart phone. And it is free to you as the “athlete.” I wanted to find some way to give back to soldiers who give up so much for me, so every time I use it, I pick the Wounded Warrior Project. Granted, I know that it is only $125 if I meet 500 miles, but it’s still something. And again, I like having something to accomplish. And maybe once we move, I will have better luck with the weather in KY to up my mileage with my walks with Grace.

So I am appeasing knees (and my husband) by not training so hard, but I will still have a goal for my workouts. Plus it is a way for me to feel connected to Tom while we are still 10,000 miles apart. Since December 14, I have done 66.38 miles. I wish it was more, but with the holidays, weather, staff training, and being sick for the last week, I wasn’t able to run as much as I liked. But I will get there.

Every mile matters.

But for now the crafting matters!

This entry isn’t the biggest craft, but it was all about learning how to use my CricutMini, which is awesome!

These were my door decs and the new bulletin board I did for my staff.

I used the CricutMini to cut out all my letters and shapes. Minutes instead of hours…and no scissor hand cramps. Life changer.

I used Crayola paint chips and plain cardstock for the door decs. And the BB has all of our baby pictures with short tidbits of ourselves for residents to guess who is who.

If anyone ever wants to go for a walk, I would be happy to reinstate “life walks” as part of my life!

Or you can help me do this in the neighborhood…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib3Duz_6a9M

January 3, 2013 by Stephanie

Memories of Us

Today is my husband’s birthday. There was no cake with sprinkles, no picking out a lobster to eat and watching Tom scarfing down everything in sight at Red Lobster, and no trip to Jax to peruse the gear we need for our bunker. So we are postponing the celebration until he gets back, as with most things during this deployment. I did sleep in for him, and I did go to Red Lobster but I was pretty conservative on my lunch. I just didn’t want to end up like this after a seafood overload…

It does stink to have holidays come and go and not be able to make new memories with each other.

I guess you could say though we are still making memories, they just aren’t the traditional ones most people are having. These months have been difficult, but it has given us strength and an experience to be really proud of.

And sometimes the memories are all we have to get us through this last little bit.

So in honor of Tom’s birthday, I thought of memories from our relationship to highlight his 28 years. I promise it won’t get to mushy.

Meeting at Worlds of Fun both as supervisors of our respective departments-later to hear that Tom used to find excuses to come into the park to see me before he asked me out. One being a park wide power outage and “happening” to come to the ride where I was coordinating an emergency evacuation.
The whole asking me out scenario-He had just pulled over my brother for running a stop sign and thought Randall had stolen my car. Then as Tom was asking me out, he spit gum at me. And I still said yes…
Seeing Blue October live in KC
Having our last year in Warrensburg together
Moving me to and from South Carolina, and Tom being an awesome partner who drove the truck both times so I could get into my car coma
Building elaborate sand castles every time we are at a beach
Fudge, Moccasins, and Ninja weapons. Enough said.
Building a laser obstacle course in our apartment with two lasers and lots of mirrors, then singing the theme song to mission impossible as we tried to roll through it.
Watching Tom with Grace.
Watching Tom with Ava (his sister’s daughter)
Nights on Pine Street
Friday Night Date night means Hy-Vee Chinese and a movie rental.
Taking care of me when I have food poisoning, which unfortunately has happened more times than I would care to remember
Making the ribbon streamers for our wedding and making up ribbon dances in our apartment to “test them out”
Tom being the first person to tell me Boy Meets World is going to have a sequel. This is a big deal folks, especially since he called me from Afghanistan to do so.
Hearing Tom’s end of the world plans, which changes on a daily basis.
Being there to watch each other graduate from big milestones (undergraduate, graduate, basic training)
Me beating him repeatedly in miniature golf…
Our first date and being serenaded by a band at the restaurant
Having different opinions in how Rummy should be played
Going to Zoo Brew the past few summers
BASEBALL
Tom reciting how I talk jibberish in my sleep. (Basketball Time!)
Being cited by WoF employees on our second date at the KC zoo. We didn’t want to be tainted by the WoF rumor mill…
Making forts out of anything and everything
Helping me train for my first half marathon and singing “Push It” as we run.
The proposal story in Savannah, GA
Our perfect wedding

We have lots of memories still to make and many more birthdays to experience!

Tonight’s craft has been a long time in the making. I have been collecting plastic bottle caps for the past 6 months for this. For someone who doesn’t buy a lot of groceries and has reusable bottles, this took me longer than others. Half of these honestly came from when we cleaned out my grandparents’ fridge after the funeral. So I am sure if someone else was doing the collecting it might go a little quicker.

So you just need need enough caps to cover the canvas of your choice. Then you just glue them all to the canvas in the design you want. It took me awhile to organize them so it wasn’t all one color in a certain area.

But this is the final product!

Happy Birthday Thomas!

December 31, 2012 by Stephanie

Home For the Holidays

This last week was full of hustle and bustle. The holiday time meant a trip home for me.

But at this moment in my life, home is an operative word. I have lots of homes. With my parents being divorced since I was four, I have never really known a time where one single place was home. And now, with the in-laws that added another sense of home to the mix.

So in the last week, I had 5 family holiday celebrations, met with 3 old wonderful friends, and traveled from/to three different cities. I was able to visit and catch up with so many friends and family. Some people I had not seen in 6 years! Yay for a reunion with the Rydman family!

Even with the bouncing around, all of it felt like home. It was good to be surrounded by familiarity.

A week ago, I was not singing the same tune. I was down in the dumps about going home. I was very very anxious and apprehensive about my holiday vacation. I was worried that I would feel even more alone with all of the reminders about Tom being gone for the holiday season. I thought that I would get fed up with all the questions and conversations about Tom being gone and when he would return. This was also going to be the first time that I have ever spent the night at my in-laws without Tom around. Let’s talk about a Tom reminder! I thought I was setting myself up for a nervous breakdown sleeping in his childhood home. I didn’t want to think about Tom being gone, and I knew at home I would have to face it head on. Expletive said here.

Luckily, I have never been more wrong!

This trip was exactly what I needed.

I saw my family and friends while in my hometown. It was busy busy going from one house to the next everyday, some days even more than one house. Grace and I definitely traipsed all over that town! But it was a great distraction to be so busy. And it was nice to be with the comfort of my family and have our traditions still happen even though my world is a little off-kilter. Here’s to the shrimp at my grandparents’, Christmas Day malt-o-meal with my dad and stepmom, brisket buffet with the Coles (step-extended family), and banana bread with my mom! Hmm I see a theme with our traditions being based around food…. And then being able to see the friendly faces of some of my bestest friends over the years, words cannot describe how great this was.

Then rounding out the Tour de Missouri, I traveled to my in-laws. Being able to talk about Tom the way we did…I don’t really know how to explain it, but it was very peaceful and calming for me. We could talk about Tom and just be normal about it. It didn’t have to be focused on the Army or being in Afghanistan. We talked about what the next couple years would look like and the plans we have for family. It was not a conversation about Tom like I have with many with pity in their eyes or a worried brow. I didn’t have to repeat things over and over, which can get exhausting at times to have the same conversation with everyone I meet. I sometimes feel like I just need to record myself with the scripted answers and just play it on loop. (He is coming home in the spring–He is doing pretty well–I get to talk to him every day, and yes I realize that is UNREAL–It’s a day by day process.) I was able to talk about Tom like he was there with us. It may sound kooky but there was a Tom aura there that maybe only I felt, but either way it was very comforting. And it was just normal. There wasn’t all this hoopla about Tom being gone and what he is doing. We did all miss him terribly and it definitely wasn’t the same, but I think we all were just tired of focusing on the fact that he is gone. We realize it’s not something we can change, and sometimes you don’t want to focus on the empty chair at the dining table. (Which is what I had been doing prior to the trip…) I don’t know if I would have felt all of this without the people who are so closely related to him reminding me of him so much. (Our niece, Ava, is so much like him, it’s silly…) So what I was most afraid of was actually the best thing for me!

And there was no nervous breakdown! I only cried twice on the whole entire trip and that was because of a news report of soldiers surprising their kids by coming home (this was more of a mad/jealous cry) and then crying during Les Mis (so nothing to do with Tom-sorry babe). Success!

The dictionary says home is “a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.”

Home took a very different meaning for me this last week. It was a place I could go to and be comforted and celebrate all the good things. It’s a place where love just kind of wraps you up like a warm blanket. It’s where you can go and feel like you never left and pick up where you left off. It’s a place that puts you at ease, somewhere to rest your hat so to speak. It’s a place where you go for family.

I went to a lot of “homes” this past week, and it was a perfect way to spend my time without Tom around.

As Dorothy says, “There is no place like home.”

And on the holiday note, this is my last homemade Christmas gift for this year.

Sidebar–I feel that homemade Christmas went over really well. I had a great time with it! And everyone seemed to enjoy it on their side too. (Or my family is really good at lying to me about liking their presents.) It really was a labor of love you were giving away. So I think we all had fun with it. The only down side was trying to figure out how to transport all of it back home.

Anyway, I am pretty proud of myself for this particular gift because it is my first attempt at using my sewing machine.

I have not used a sewing machine since 7th grade Home Ec which was in 1997/98. So needless to say, I needed some guidance on this one.

My mom helped me freshen up my sewing skills, and we used this pattern as our guide.

http://www.diaryofaquilter.com/search/label/tutorial?updated-max=2011-01-06T15%3A06%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=20

I did not take any “as we were going pictures” since this site explains it perfectly. This was a pretty easy project to get back into the swing of things with a sewing machine.

I made these for my brother so he could have them so he and his daughter could start their own holiday traditions with stocking stuffers. Maybe he will continue the tradition of toothbrushes and a deck of cards…

And after being reminded of how to use the sewing machine, I think I can start doing other varieties of crafts. 2013 get ready!

December 21, 2012 by Stephanie

Continue on my walk

This month I participated in a book discussion on the book “Christmas is Not Your Birthday” by Mike Slaughter.

It is a book that looks at the commercialism that surrounds Christmas and trying to get to the heart of “the reason for the season.”

This short read made me think about things like how we have come to idolize Santa and all the stress that surrounds this time of year. We want everything to be perfect from the presents, food and parties. We focus on how much other people are going to react and view us. Or we try to top what we did last year.

The first Christmas Tom and I were together, I was able to score Blue October tickets. This really was awesome-score girlfriend points for me! Many birthdays and Christmases after that, I felt like I was always competing and trying to outdo myself and get him something even better. Why couldn’t I just enjoy the fact that that is one of the best memories he and I have and just leave it at that? Why do I need to do more or spend more? Was this perfect gift really the only way I could tell him how much I loved him? Why couldn’t I be ok with just buying him a tub of sprinkles and icing? Materialistic reasons I guess, or thinking I have something to prove and something to gain?

So what is Christmas about really? Isn’t it about Jesus being born? Hmmm? A baby being born in less than desired and even scandalous conditions (unwed parents, a carpenter’s son, child persecution, in a stable no less)? Not quite as cool as reindeer flying and a big jolly man who brings me presents!

Goodness we have become pretty selfish people.

Christmas should be about living and giving like Jesus did. If you look at his life, you see that he resisted the obsessions of man. You see a man who cared so deeply for others. He lived as we live and felt as we feel. He had pain and suffering. He made the ultimate sacrifice. He was not plump and have rosy cheeks with a hint of glitter on them. Although I do see Jesus having a hearty laugh.

Here is a quote that I enjoyed the most from the book-“…at Christmas we should celebrate the birth of the Messiah who was born not only to die sacrificially for us but to show us how to live sacrificially.”

I had to think hard about how I am doing this in my own life. The discussion leader prompted us with some tough questions that I was not always ready to answer, but all things I needed to look at. (I think we all have had those “I don’t wanna” moments.)

We should celebrate a life of service. We spend so much time focusing on giving others the “perfect present” that we do not even blink an eye thinking about how we can give the perfect give to Him. All he asks for is for us to give ourselves up. When I think about my grandparents and how much they gave, I am always in awe. But they were always some of the happiest people I have ever encountered. They had so much joy even when they “had” what seemed to be so little.

Now I know these are my beliefs and my interpretation, but wouldn’t the perfect gift be to “love one another as I [God] have loved you?” We were called to serve one another, not to buy out a Macy’s.

As Tom and I discuss starting our own family, this book made me really think about how we want to raise our kids. Of course we want to have our own traditions, and I will be honest we will still give gifts. But we really do want to focus on the service of others. There is a real joy found in the experiences of serving others that I want to pass on to my children. I want them to feel the importance of influencing others instead of always wanting for themselves. Since we do not have children yet, we are still kicking around some ideas on how this may play out. One that we did really like was having our kids go through their toys before Christmas day and picking ones to give away and donating them somewhere.

This whole thing really made me think about the traditions we have and think about the intent of each one. This was a really easy read but had topics that are not always so easy to swallow. I was forced to look at the world through a different lens. I think we are also at a point in our nation where if we don’t like it we tend to tune it out. We don’t want to hear criticisms in a “Here’s Your Good Job Ribbon” society. We talk a big game, but we don’t always walk the walk.

But I think we all need to take a good hard look at how we are living out our lives. I know I am sounding like a broken record about service, but it is such an easy thing to do. Even if you don’t believe in God, you can still believe in humanity. Believe that there are good in people and be willing to give your time and skills for others. Help your neighbor, help a stranger, just be there for others. (Now I am a good pile of mush inside…)

Here’s a little more to restore your faith in something…http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/moments-that-restored-our-faith-in-humanity-this-y

I am sure we have all seen the signs that say “Keep Christ in Christmas.” I understand that not everyone who celebrates Christmas actually believes in Christ, but I would hope that everyone can stress a little less and remember the joy that giving can bring.

Tom posted a status the other day that said “Stop complaining about Christmas season stress, it could be worse.”

Yep you could be a 16 year old mom who just gave birth to her first child in a pile of dung. Oh wait she was in a pristine white dress with a blue scarf with a radiant light all around her…

Christmas is a reminder that God shows up in the most unexpected places. And with all of the hype about religion in schools after Friday’s shootings, I think many need this reminder.

I am sure Mary was not ready for what God has planned for her. She brings a whole new meaning to “16 and Pregnant.”

God understands what we are going through, he sent Jesus to walk with us and sacrifice for us. God knows our pain, and I believe he doesn’t send bad things down from heaven to punish us for not praying in schools. We live in a world that gets messy. We just need to have faith-which can happen anywhere and on any day.

Anyway, take a minute to think about how you view your holiday season. It might give you an opportunity to appreciate things a little bit more.

My craft tonight is for a friend of mine. It’s my first paid gig! Thanks Ashley! It was fun to make.

It was all single stitch crochet. I just alternated the amounts of rows between colors.