August 14, 2013 by Stephanie

Going Commando

A few weeks ago, I wrote about T.J.

His story continued to weigh on my heart especially as I am trying to re-define my own personal dreams and trudge through some of the work.

Then I saw an update on his support page detailing a visit to several specialists.

As I read through his reports and saw what was going well and what was expected, an idea dawned on me.

Why don’t I run for T.J?

I had been going back and forth whether or not to run another half marathon. I like the idea of the race, but not always the time it takes to put in working up to that mileage.

(Is that a metaphor for getting your dreams or what?)

I knew that I wasn’t going to get a PR. I have ~~sort of~~ accepted that fate, knowing that trying to push myself too much would ruin my knees. And to be perfectly honest, I am just not that committed to giving away so much of my personal time to running to knock off minutes to my PR. But the fact is that races do inspire me. Having a race to work for does get me out and logging miles that I would never have thought I could do. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and strength. There is something in the air on race day that makes you feel alive and a part of something bigger. And I do like running in small increments–between 3 and 6 are my sweet spots. It’s fun to get your legs moving for a few miles. And it is a great way to have some Grace time while getting her some exercise too.

But I was plagued with the idea that if I could not beat my time, would a race really be worth it? Competition with myself has been a lifelong battle..

And have you seen the hills in Clarksville, TN?

Running vs running up hill!

So yea, I was teetering more towards not doing another half marathon for a long while, if ever.

But reading how T.J. so bravely meets with these doctors telling him what is working/not working in his body stirred something in me. God was telling me something. He wanted me to use my ability for this. Live it up and stop making excuses.

So I signed up for the Go Commando Half Marathon here in Clarksville.

I wanted this race to be more than just a race. With the undertones of what we are willing to do for our community and it being a military focus, I knew this would be more than just a race. It had to be more than just 13.1 miles.

I have started a fundraising page to help raise funds to find a cure and new medical practices for T.J. and many like him. I figure that if 90 people donate at least $10, I can reach my goal of $900, which is a $100 for each of his birthdays. So if you are feeling up to it, you can sponsor me. Yep just like those fundraisers in elementary school. You can think of it as a dollar per mile per say! Click this link if you are able to help me reach this goal. It should show up to my personal fundraising page. Any amount is appreciated, and I would be grateful for the support!

Donate to End Duchenne!

If you are not familiar with Duchenne, it is a fatal genetic disorder that causes muscles to weaken rapidly. It occurs mainly in young boys, and most live only until their early 20s. I was not aware of this disorder until I heard of T.J.’s story, so I am sure there are many out there that have never heard of it. There are about 20,000 new cases each year. If you would like to learn more visit http://www.endduchenne.org/.

T.J. is my inspiration when I feel like I can’t do that last mile or when I am struggling to break away from the couch. I am going to do these 13.1 for him whether that I finish it walking or running. If he can pitch for the St. Louis Cardinals (I won’t judge him for not going to the Royals), I can run a few miles.

I “Go Commando” for him.

(If you didn’t watch that promo video, please know that I am not a creeper who is going to go naked. Clearly, I will be wearing Ranger panties.)

August 11, 2013 by Stephanie

Talks with Tom #7

My husband works out every day, sometimes two or three times a day. So with all these sweat sessions, he gets a pretty large appetite.

Tom-Part of me wants to eat healthy and have a small piece of cake. And part of me wants a big piece of cake because I don’t care.

Me-What part did you get?

Tom showed me the plate. He practically had half of the cheesecake on his plate, but into two distinct pieces-one large and one small.

Tom-I got a big piece and a little piece so both parts would be happy.

Me-The best part is that you have a little piece on your nose.

This weekend I was under the weather. I woke up several days last week with a sore throat and it just progressively got worse throughout the weekend. So I went to Pinterest to see if I could find a home remedy.

I saw one with ingredients we had in our pantry. It called for:

3 tbs lemon juice

1/4 cup raw honey

2 tbs coconut oil

We got this honey at the local farmer’s market. Local honey is always better for you than store bought. It can also help with allergies.

Anyway, back to the sore throat remedy. I mixed it all together. And the product made me want to gag just looking at it.

So I added some regular tea and then put it in the microwave for a few minutes to smooth out the coconut oil and honey. The tea also helped lessen the acidic taste.

It was still very very tart and acidic. It wasn’t too horrible but you have to drink it fairly fast because the coconut oil will harden back up.

So did it work?

Initially maybe it did soften up the harsh scratchiness. However the sugar and lemon juice made me a little more nauseous than I was before. So if you can get paste the taste maybe it will work.

But I still have a sore throat so you be the judge, and it is even worse today. Ok maybe I would need to use it more to test it out, but I just couldn’t get past the taste and wanting vomit.

So I just went back to my other home remedy of putting hydrogen peroxide drops in my ears. That seems to work after a few days much better!

Hope you all had a much more luxurious weekend than I did with my raspy voice and phlegm. I definitely have the man voice going. Although, Tom and I started season 8 of The Office and had online Chinese and Chipotle galore, which is exactly my idea of a perfect weekend.

What are you favorite home remedies for sickness?

August 7, 2013 by Stephanie

Forgiving the Imperfect

“I hate you. You ruin everything.” My niece said this comment this weekend when she didn’t get her way and disapproved how a conversation was going. Nothing like a sucker punch…

Then 5 minutes later we were all in her good graces again like nothing every happened and building a cave out of blankets and pillows.

Seriously we should all have this mentality of forgiveness. Be in the moment and let the past go. We probably shouldn’t go for the sucker punches and hurtful words though. My focus here is the carefree attitude and forgetting past grievances.

This is not always easy for me to do in my quest for independence and a need to be right. I am stubborn to a fault.

My marriage has been a constant reminder about the lessons of humility, not needing to be right ALL the time, and getting past arguments so they don’t impede on the future or our love for each other.

I heard this list on the radio recently.

The 5 dumbest things couples argue about:

5. Laundry

4. Staying out late without telling the other person where you are

3. What to watch on TV

2. Cell phone bills

1. Emptying the dishwasher.

Anything sound familiar?

5. I am not sure if we have had a fight persay about laundry, but I am sure we have nitpicked at each other. We have fought over our laundry machine though…

4. Staying out late…yep that has happened

3. What to watch on TV-you know I am not remembering a time where we have. We razz each other about what we like watching. Sometimes he will watch what he wants and I will read or vice versa. We watch a lot of things together too, so I think this helps stave off any “arguments.” We may have tip-toed around it when I first moved here but we have fallen into a pretty good groove that the anxiety went away. And having a DVR helps.

2. Cell phone bills-I know we have fought over the password, but not the actual bill. This was actually the worst fight we had while he was deployed. So silly.

1. Emptying the dishwasher-um sadly probably once a week this debate continues….Did I mention that both of us are a little bit stubborn and have a little bit of lazy in us? Funny though, that we switch sides and use the same arguments against each other. I also think we each are just waiting out the other to see who will break first. haha the age old gotcha game.

Arguments are inevitable. I don’t think that there is a secret recipe that you can shake at it that will let you avoid tiffs in your relationship. I think people are lying when they say they don’t get into fights with their spouse (or they are ignoring things and bottling them up for the fight of a life time or possibly divorce). You are two individuals living together trying to live in harmony all the time. Things are bound to get stressful, emotions are going to rise, and expectations will not be met. Insert fight scenario here.

But.

You can get past it AND still love each other.

It’s true.

Tom and I could not be more opposite (except when it comes to desserts and all things 90s music) which can be a recipe for disagreements, but we love each other through and through despite his hatred for musicals.

When I asked Tom initially about his thoughts on conflict, he said, “There is one simple step to conflict resolution. Soften up their defenses with a MK-19, wait until nightfall, and overrun their perimeter with a superior force.”

Then we had a real conversation about relationships. We came up with some of our top considerations/tips for confrontation with your significant other:

1. Think about big picture-

Me-Does it really make that big of a difference if Tom wants to stay over at his friends to camp over night? No, I was just being selfish and thought I would never see him again. Long lasting effects of long distance…I will see him again, and I know it’s not because he doesn’t want to hang out with me. In the end is what you are fighting about really worth what you and your spouse have together?

Tom-She is either going to divorce you or she’s going to get over it.

2. Recognize each other’s fighting styles

Me-Tom calls me out all the time because I like to retreat. I call him out because he likes to yell. Maybe those play against each other…Neither of these are helpful, but we know that is how we work so we have to try really hard not to push each other to those points just to get our thoughts across. There is also an element of understanding the right things to say (or not say) in these situations. There are some things that may push the person further into ‘smoke out the ears’ emotions, and that is not a place where harmony can occur. This also does not mean to use this knowledge to “win” arguments. In a marriage there are no winners of arguments.

Tom-When you are married, an argument is like a chess game.

3. Be constructively honest not destructively honest.

Me-I can’t blame Tom for how I reacted, but I can tell him why I felt the need to react the way I did. And when does pointing fingers ever really help the situation? But I feel that you need to be honest about what you are going through.

Tom-Sometimes people need to hear when they are wrong, except for me, I have never been wrong before. I take that back. One time, I thought my shirt was dazzling, but it turns out it was stunning.

(And we can see where number 5 goes into affect here.)

4. Actually listen to what the other person’s concerns are.

Tom-I don’t have a funny or quippy thing to say. That covers it.

Me-How can you apply their concerns to your behavior? Are they grounded? Seriously, did you do that? Which leads to…

5. Take ownership of your own mistakes and be willing to say “I am sorry for what I did.”

Me-Sometimes acknowledging it will make things better. But don’t just sorry to say sorry. You have to mean it and be genuine about your apology. No one is perfect, we should stop trying to be. If you can’t be imperfect in front of your significant other, we have some other things to hammer out.

Tom-If I ever screw up, I assure you I will be the first to admit it. But this generally doesn’t apply to me. (My husband is not confident or anything. I think he stopped taking this seriously after number one.)

7. Understand that saying sorry doesn’t always cut it and smooth things over.

Me-Be ready to offer how the future may be different because of the lessons learned here. What can you do differently? Talk about compromise-where can both of you give in a little? You can learn from this confrontation. Learn to become a stronger unit because of it.

Tom-Sometimes it is a good idea to go down to the shoppette and get her an ICEE just in case. Do something nice.

8. Make each other laugh.

Me-Tom and I are really good at diffusing the situation and making each other giggle. (Can you tell by his responses?) This helps us clear up the angry and get back to the heart of it. And really once you start laughing, everything seems better.

Tom-It doesn’t matter where we are or what we are doing, we can always be happy.

9. Lastly, don’t let arguments linger.

Tom-If the argument goes longer than 20 minutes, I have forgotten what we were arguing about.

Me-This is Tom and I’s style. We don’t fight for days, or really hours. We hash it out and then try to move past it. I think this also goes for a time frame of when an argument is relevant. If you can’t bring up an issue in the designated window, is it really all that big of a deal? If you draw out a fight, emotions only have time to fester and think about all the things that you thought the person said (that they never said) and reading into the situation and applying it to every encounter under the sun….Stop. This is where forgiveness begins.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:31-32

So just like a kid, say what you need to say, and then become best friends again. Be tenderhearted and forgive each other so you can grow even more in love. Understand that every day won’t be a Disney fairytale, but if you are honest and open and fearfully love each other, I think you’ll be alright (and maybe your next romantic comedy storyline). You didn’t get married because you were perfect, but because you were finally able to be imperfect.

I am still learning and still trying to be a better wife. Creating this list by no means makes me an expert. Just this past weekend, I will admit I did something stupid and hurt Tom with my nasty emotions. But my husband showed me some forgiveness and we talked it through. Always learning.

I am always up for more growth in this area, so what are your tips for confrontation and forgiveness?

August 1, 2013 by Stephanie

Blogaventure-Year One

It is crazy to think that my blogging journey started a year ago. I started blogging with the intent to talk about my crafts that were a distraction from Tom’s first deployment. It quickly turned into an all out life blog. Once Tom returned from his deployment and the move was impending, I wondered if I would continue blogging. There were parts of me that said, “eh I don’t need this anymore.” But after some encouragement from my those around me and seeing my blogging community grow, I knew that this blog was something I still needed.

It started out as a place that I could record my crafty side and keep me preoccupied. I remember having a conversation early last spring with someone saying that I may just quit after we move because the crafts will die down. I felt that I had to have a craft every time I posted otherwise I wasn’t being true to the original intent. Sometimes I get so stuck up in responsibility and structure that it becomes a hindrance-but that is a topic for another day. Anyway this person told me that I should keep up with it and talk about life as it happens with the move, the new job, etc. She basically gave me permission to move past just being a craft blog, even though I had pretty much done that anyway from the get go. (I promise the crafts are coming back, they just needed to take a brief hiatus.)

This blog has been a place of reflection when I can’t seem to piece things together. (It’s like grad school all over again…Reflection without worrying about APA format-heck yes!) It has been a place of triumph, celebration, and support. I don’t always say the right things or say the profound thing, but I speak about what is on my heart and about what is happening in my world. And sometimes I just want to show a dog video! (of my own dog naturally)

Writing has always been something I have enjoyed. I am not always quick to verbally say things on my mind, so writing gives me time to process things in my own space and at my pace. And as you can see, I just have at it and sometimes don’t know when to stop.

When I first started it was merely a way to share more with people I already knew. I had no idea the world that this blog would open up to me. I have met some pretty amazing individuals through the blog world. Living in Ames, I was not surrounded by many who understood what I was going through as a military spouse. Reaching out to fellow bloggers gave me a connection, that during the inception of this blog, I didn’t realize I needed. I was able to read others stories and feel their pain as my pain and saw feelings that I had not been able to put into words yet. For me this has turned out to be one of the greatest gifts of becoming a blogger. These strangers opened up to me in a way that made me feel that I was not alone while Tom was gone.

This has been a great journey to help me process life in relation to my role as an Army wife, but also spanned many other facets of my life unintentionally.

So thank you to those who inspired me to start this blogaventure and those that inspire me to continue.

Here are some of my “best ofs” from the past year:

My reaction to base living

Processing my grandparent’s deaths

First anxiety attack of the deployment

Do all that you can

Marriage is Awesome-probably my all time favorite for so many reasons I could not begin to explain.

My version of the ripple effect

Christmas Devotional

Have a little faith

Tom’s home! Goodbye Deployment!

There are more that I really enjoyed, but I will let you peruse through my blog past if you like. Not to be vain, but I think I wrote some quality stuff in the past year. In all seriousness though, I hope you enjoy it too.

And because I have been blessed with a community in the blog world, I wanted to share some blogs that I believe are brilliant. These are also blogs that I have enjoyed reading and feel moved by. These are military significant others, but let’s be honest, that is the whole reason I started blogging in the first place so I wanted to pay homage to those in that world.

http://armyamy.wordpress.com/

http://clickitupanotch.com/

http://armyeverafter.com/

http://sweettea-lemonade.blogspot.jp/

http://www.thenotquitemilitarywife.com/

http://lifearmywifestyle.com/

http://pearlsdiamondsandeverythingelse.wordpress.com/

http://www.wifessionals.com/

http://janelle-and-dan.blogspot.com/

http://jomygosh.blogspot.se/

I follow a lot of other wonderful blogs, and if you would like to see the entire list then check me out at Bloglovin. You can also follow me on there, just click on the on my sidebar.

If you have read me for awhile or this is your first time, I want to THANK YOU for spending some time with my thoughts. The support and remarks coming my way are at times overwhelming, and I am truly humbled by the comments and views.

So here’s to a Happy Blog Birthday!

***I promise the next time I will have a craft. Get excited, I got the sewing machine out!

July 29, 2013 by Stephanie

Frolic with Grace

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

If you have been following me at all, there is no surprise that I love my dog. So today is all about my little lady.

My parents willed me this chair from my childhood. It is an old beat-up lazy chair, that is slightly pink. So it matches nothing that I own, but I absolutely loved this chair growing up. I spent hours reading books in this chair, so they gave it to me in the great purging of the Glinn household.

Well, it has now become Grace’s chair. She is in it all the time.

She loves staring out the window to our backyard. I originally had the chair facing in a more functional way with the room, but Grace moved it to the side like this to make it more functional for her outside watching.

Like I said, this is no longer my chair. We now refer to it as Grace’s bed.

We have always let Grace sleep in our bed with us, so this chair has left an empty spot in our bed at night. For the most part we are ok with it because she is a bed hog and will pretty much lay on you and not be willing to budge. But there are moments that it is a little sad for us as doggy parents.
And this sparked this week’s episode of “Talks with Tom.”

Tom-I like it when Grace sleeps in other parts of the house.

Me-Why’s that?

Tom-Because when she gets in her chair it is a little insulting because I am right here. She is basically saying she doesn’t want to sleep with me. When she sleeps in other rooms, it’s like she is at summer camp.

Just this morning we marveled at the fact that she slept with us most of the night. Later to find out it was probably because she wanted to melt our hearts a little bit with glee before we found her puddle of pee all over the living room. She was probably embarrassed because this is totally out of character for her.

And just when I made her a new chew toy! The nerve!

I love making Grace new toys out of household items that are worn out. I am all about sustainability and reusing things when I can.

Grace does not allow us to keep nice bedding because we–and by we, I mean Tom–plays and wrestles with her on the bed. Impossible to keep a nice bed made.

So we get holes like this in our sheets.

In my effort to be green and also save some of our green, I cut up the fabric to use for a project that we are currently working on for our bathroom, but I still had a lot of “unusable scraps.”

I cut the leftovers into long strips, knotted, and braided them together to make a new rope toy for Grace. These are her favorites because she likes ripping them.

This is super easy to do and then I don’t feel so bad about throwing away sheets. My suggestion though is to make sure you make them long enough to make lots of knots. This will make them a little more durable to doggie teeth. For this one I made 4 separate braids then knotted those braids like the friendships bracelets we all made as kids.

She perked up from her nap to play with it a little bit! Success!

I have also made new toys out of old socks that have holes in them. I know others who have done this but they commented that their dogs then would grab any sock regardless of toy status or not. I didn’t have this problem with Grace, but just be weary if you do!

We have been considering upping our little family by adding another furbaby. We have been discussing the pros and cons of getting another dog, and right now the pros outweigh the cons. I have already been scouring shelters’ websites to see who our new rescue puppy could be, but we want to make sure that this will be a good decision for both Grace and the new puppy. Ideally, we would want to get one around the same age as Grace, and more than likely the same breed if not one similar. But who knows once we actually go look at a dog and let them meet Grace to ensure compatibility. Any thoughts and comments on the subject of owning several dogs are welcome! We want to be realistic and do the dogs justice if we choose to adopt another rescue, so any helpful advice would be awesome.

For now we are enjoying our time with just our Gracie lady. Here are some fun videos from our weekend. Yep, we are totally those parents…ok honestly I am totally that parent.