These past couple weeks have been super stressful around these parts, so I wanted to infuse some positivity into the world.
Here are just a few things that have me feeling good today.
This week I got to be the mascot at work AGAIN! I am going to recap all the joy that this brings me here soon. So. Much. Fun.
I got a free burrito from Moe’s. (So much better than Chipotle) You can get one too if you download their app! Use this code Stepha5522 and we both get extra points when you redeem your free burrito.
George started kissing for real, no more head bumps as kisses. I never thought I would be one of those moms that kisses their kid on the lips, but it is just too darn cute. He grabs your head and makes the noise and everything when he goes in for it.
Tom has been home for dinner every night this week, and it has been super nice after so many things out there right now. His job is very heavy, so it was nice to have a lot of quality family time this week.
Tom kept George home with him today for some guy bonding, but it meant that I could sleep in a little since I didn’t have to take George to the sitter. Now my step tracker can stop judging me for at least one day for not meeting my sleep goal.
This is one of my favorite episodes of the series. During the hometowns, there is so much to dissect on how people grew up. Their houses always look so perfect…do you think ABC helps orchestrate that?
Chase is up first. It has to be hard knowing that there are three others after you.
Divorce does create a wall. Unfortunately, you have a hard time trusting your feelings when it comes to love. I appreciate Chase’s words about it as well as how difficult it could be for someone who comes from parents who have been married for decades to understand. (Tom and I have had conversations about these differences A LOT. I come from divorce, and his parents have been married 40 years.)
Apparently they all have “wounds” she didn’t realize was there.
Chase’s house is lovely….and very clean. Oh wait the stairs aren’t done…there you have it.
That was awkward timing to confront of his dad why it didn’t work out with his mom.
Love is more than just a word.
I don’t want Chase to force saying it though. Yes it is something you need to have, but don’t just say it because you think you need to.
Chase talking to his mom made me cry. All I could think about is someday I will be talking to George about his love. Not ready.
Jordan taking JoJo to his high school-I don’t know how I feel about it. It seems weird to live in his glory days.
Hot library romance. My kind of date!
The whole Aaron Rogers brother thing seems weird…I have felt that he is always seemingly a down to earth guy. It is odd that his entire family doesn’t talk to him.
Ahhh JoJo loves Jordan!
It makes me a little nervous that she is so scared of Jordan. It seems like she knows her heart is telling her that it is a bad idea, but there is so much attraction that she wants to stay in it.
Can we talk about how nice Jordan’s parent’s place is? Wowza.
St. Augustine seems like a place I want to visit!
Have you ever noticed the women never have purses? I am sure her handlers have all her personal items, but I would feel naked and out of place without my handbags full of chapstic and snacks.
I LOVE Robbie’s family. They just seemed so lovely. It is just fueling my desire to have a big family.
I think this ex gf social media drama is getting Robbie off the show.
Or maybe I am wrong since she told his MOM that she was falling in love with Robbie.
I mean Luke is from Texas so that seems just perfect for her.
Oh goodness, that is intimidating to meet so many people at this picnic.
Luke’s dad is just precious. He gave some really good advice but was very supportive.
I want their property. So beautiful.
You can tell she wants to say I love you to Luke.
THIS IS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING. Luke is wonderful.
Jojo looks great in blue.
Wait JoJo’s facial expressions to Luke are odd when he pulled her aside to talk to her in the hangar. What do you mean it changes things? You obviously were fawning all over him during the family date? Were you going to send him home? I didn’t see that coming!
Luke is your best life partner.
If you make a mistake, you find someone else and will make it work. That’s how it works. You could always pull a Mesnick.
Really!!!! You pulled me along for two hours and then you didn’t even tell me who she picks?!? I hate it when you do that to me. Of course I am coming back next week. You don’t need to tease me.
Travel back in time in Kelli Stuart’s new novel, Like a River From Its Course, as the city of Kiev is bombed in Hitler’s blitzkrieg across the Soviet Union. This sweeping historical saga takes the reader on a captivating journey into the little-known history of Ukraine’s tragedies through the eyes of four compelling characters who experience the same story from different perspectives. Based on true stories gathered from fifteen years of research and interviews with Ukrainian World War II survivors, Like a River From Its Course is a story of love, war, heartache, forgiveness, and redemption.
I really could not say enough about this book. I loved it! It is a definitely 5/5 for me. This is by far the most compelling time period for me to study. I took a class specifically on the Holocaust, and it is always so humbling to learn more about the harrowing stories. What I liked about this book is that it is showing how non-Jews were also affected, and in a different setting than Germany. These were Ukrainians and one German who were greatly impacted by what was asked of them during this time. It showed how destructive Hitler’s mindset was and how far-reaching it was.
Stuart did not shy away from the vulgarity and realness of what these people saw. While they were all fictional, I definitely felt that she had done her research to honor the true stories. It was very respectful. The characters were all different ages; some from different families. I liked this twist of showing four completely different perspectives on the same war. You get to saw raw emotions, and she writes them so well it’s as thought you are watching it all unfold.
This is a story about love, hope, faith, and redemption. It discusses how people triumphed through the painful and atrocious ways they were treated. This book shows how even in that darkness there were still glimmers of love and friendship that carried them through. I really appreciated those light moments where you could see how the relationships were so impactful to make change.
I would highly highly recommend this. If I was teaching sociology or history still, I would seriously consider making this a suggested reading. It was so good. It definitely reads as fiction. But with the history aspects, I think it would definitely be good for a book report or spark in-class discussions.
Celebrate the release of Like a River from Its Course with Kelli by entering to win a Kindle Fire Prize Pack.
The tension in this country is heartbreaking. It took me time to formulate words instead of speaking purely from emotions-although I would never say that I am completely eloquent. I have gone back and forth for days as to whether I would even say anything after last week. Maybe it is just for me to process my thoughts, but I needed to say something to add to the narrative. So bear with me and my voice.
The first violent act I remember feeling in my gut was Columbine, and I was in 8th grade. I recall thinking as I watched the news, “How could an individual harbor that much hate?” There were times when I said I hated my brother, but really I was just upset he messed with me. I just could not comprehend hate at that massacre level. I still have this mentality as a grown woman. Honestly though, I have mostly watched these violent atrocities through a screen. I recognize that I have been privileged to not have to witness these evil things in my daily life.
My husband, my partner, my love, however, has seen the world very differently from my gumball view.
Watching Tom go into the Army and into Law Enforcement, I have always known there was a risk. I have acknowledged the danger. I have had times where I go the long way home and sob uncontrollably because I am so fearful there is a car waiting at my door to tell me the worst news possible. I have had moments where I lose my breath as I watch him put on all his gear and try to hide the tears welling up in my eyes. There are nights where I hardly sleep because I wait to hear his footsteps in the kitchen after a night shift before I can relax. I have talked on this very blog several times about those feelings.
But most days I try not to give the danger a fleeting thought. I try to push all the fear deep down because I have to seem normal. It’s not that I dismiss it because I do think about it daily. But I ignore the realities of the job because I don’t want to face those dire possibilities 24/7. I have to press forward so I don’t live in that paralyzing fear.
After last week I have this pit in my stomach though that I don’t think will go away for a very long time or if ever. Before I was able to let it go after a while. But when I hear stories like this, this, and this just days after 5 cops were killed in Dallas, as a police wife I just can’t…
Any one of those could be Tom.
This could be our family.
It was just a week ago that I was rolling my eyes at Tom as he debriefed our family of our “escape” plan as we went downtown for holiday festivities. You see, Tom gets threats of bodily harm several times a day and threats on his life a couple times a week from community members he interacts with. He has also been followed home on more than one occasion. He doesn’t wear his wedding ring at work as precaution for us. The debriefing has been a part of our outings for years. Tom walks me through what I need to do with George in the case of disaster and then says, “I will be home.” Up until now, I didn’t want to admit the severity of what he was saying to me. I thought he was being silly and wondered with lots of eye rolling and long sighs why he couldn’t just relax and enjoy our family time.
But with all the stories of cops getting shot (the number of police officer killed by guns has gone up already 75% in comparison to this time last year) and with law enforcement families being targeted at home, I have to listen to Tom being protective. I didn’t see it before, but now I have to. We all have fears with the situations out there. Tom dying is the one closest to my heart. I am not going to apologize for that.
It is heartbreaking to think that I need to take these plans seriously, or that other families are having conversations on how to stay alive during a traffic stop. These are not normal conversations we should be having.
None of this is ok.
So what do we do as a human race?
Personally, I don’t think there is a simple solution, nor do I think that it falls on solely one person. However it has to start somewhere, and I can only control how I react in this world. I am going to choose to armor myself with love. To love my family, to love my friends, to love those who walk in my office, to just love. The root of change needs to be love. Love is big, and it can ripple. I believe each one of us has a responsibility to each other, and we can’t wait for others to show that love first. We all need to step up in our circles.
I have sat quietly this past week moving through my day thinking and hoping we can just move past this.
But we all can’t be quiet. Hate and discontent will only divide us further. This is so much bigger than picking a side. Unity doesn’t mean that we have to agree. It means that we need to give each other grace and lean in and listen to each other’s perspective. We have to put in the time to show up. We have to create relationships to have understanding.
I see my husband going out there every single day to make this world a better place. He is trying to be one of the ones to make positive change. He sees you. He knows that you matter. That’s why he chose this job to serve and protect. He believes in the community values, and does everything he can to make sure people are safe. He wants you to go home just as much as he wants to get home.
When Tom and I were processing these events, I asked him how he was feeling. He said, “It is just another day that I get to do my job. I am going to keep going out there doing what I promised this community I would do…I am going to be kind to everyone I meet.”
For me, my platform is not so grandiose. I keep my community small (introvert problems). However, I see my greatest charge in all of this is how we raise George. I believe the greatest change I can give to the world is what I teach him. I worry every day about what he knows and how he will learn things. I see the innocence, and want to shield him from the evil as long as I can. I know there is going to come a day when I have to talk with George about bullies and sharing and being kind. I pray every day that God gives me the wisdom to lead him on the right path of compassion and caring for others. I hope that we are able to instill in him a curiosity for understanding others stories even if they are not like his. I hope that we raise him to make conscious decisions and understand that with everything there are consequences. I hope that we are models of being respectful citizens and how to give back to those around you. For me the hope lies within George, and I can see that there is a better future through him.
Easier said than done, but if we all take this approach of reaching out in our circles I believe there is so much hope.
We all have a chance to better this world. We need to be aware of our actions, our words, and be willing to listen to each other’s stories. What decisions are we going to make today that are going to help us move forward? The change has to happen on an individual level to push a change on a global level. We have to continue to carry the cross.
We need to be the light in this dark world.
See those around you. Make people feel like they matter.
Love is still going.
Another blogger wrote this, and I don’t think it could be said any better. “Jesus give me eyes to see people as you do, give me a heart to love them as you do, give me courage to speak and act boldly as you did and give me wisdom to teach my children the same.”
While we may be broken, we can still have hope. I hope for your family, and I hope for mine. I hope for our world.
Love can heal what hurt divides. Mercy’s waiting on the other side.
findingmyyellow.com 