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You Want a Girl, Right?

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“Do you want a girl or a boy? Are you hoping for a girl? Do you want one of each? No seriously, you do want a girl right?”

These are the most common questions that I have gotten since the day we announced we are pregnant. People just can’t help themselves. I get it. There is some curiosity. I am not at all offended.

Because I do want a girl. I have always dreamed of being a girl mom. I used to write lists of possible girl names in my diary when I was in elementary school for my future girl children. I envisioned braiding her hair and talking about books and nonsense giggling over a Friday night movie.

But that isn’t really all that parenting is, is it? (Since I am in the trenches of teaching someone how to not pee in their pants, I guarantee you that school-girl dream is not the gist of parenting.)

Anyway. Yes, I would love the chance to be a girl mom.

But here is the thing.

I love being a MOM. I want any baby God is going to gift me with. This is a BIG lesson that God gave me when we had George. I would be lying if I didn’t say that there weren’t parts of me that weren’t sad about the possibility of a girl slipping away, but God knew exactly what I needed when he gave me George.

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And I believe he knows exactly what I need with this next baby.

And not only me but what our family and what our world needs.

Never would I ever look at George now and say I wish you would have been a girl. I love him so desperately, and I know that he was made just for our family. There is no way I would love him more just because he came out a girl.

Babies are babies. I am going to love this kid no matter what sex it is.

I believe in God’s plan for this child and our family. Whatever we are blessed with, I am going to be grateful and love it with all that I am.

I already do.

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Would I love the chance to be a girl mom, absolutely. I would love to see George with a sister, and Tom doting on a daughter. I would hope to raise a little girl in this world of uncertainty to be brave and imaginative and break barriers that I couldn’t. I would want to bring her up so she can have the confidence to do great things, not because she is a girl, but because she is a gift from above.

Here is the deal, even if I have a girl, I have no idea who she will be. In reality I may miss out on all the “girl” stuff anyway. She may hate bows and princesses, and want to just wrestle with George in the dirt. George may continue his love affair with shoes or want to do dance, so I can live out my dreams of being a dance mom. And that is ok. I will love whichever way the tide rolls for my kids. There is no reason to say I can’t experience these things we say are “girly or boyish” with either sex.

They will be different because one is George and one is Baby Dubs, not because one is a girl and one is a boy. And they won’t be the same because both of them happen to be boys.

What I want is to be a parent of two bright, funny, caring, overwhelmingly grateful people who are able to share love in this dark world. I don’t need girls to have kids who are compassionate. I don’t need boys to have kids who are brave.The sex shouldn’t matter, it matters on how we treat them once they are here.

And that is a gift that I am eternally grateful that God has blessed us with.

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So how can I not just be happy that THERE IS A BABY IN THERE?!? I know I am. A real miracle.

Would I love a little girl? Yes. But I also would love another little boy. I honestly just want the experience of being a parent in whatever way it comes. I will love what I have and dote on this kid just as much as I do on George.

(And hopefully there will be as many pictures)

I have trust and content that there is a greater plan than mine.

 

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Bachelor Nick Week 3

Here are my thoughts from this week’s craziness.

  • I think that it was a good move for Nick to be open to the women about the backstory with Liz.
  • However, isn’t Liz similar to how he came back for Kaitlyn? Just saying…
  • I just can’t watch Corinne. It’s great that she is so positive about her body and her sexuality, but I just feel like someday she will be embarrassed by this behavior.
  • I’m glad that Nick said he wanted to slow Corinne down a little.
  • Thank goodness Jasmine interrupted Corinne and Nick.
  • Really Corinne? You have to know that you were not going to be the center of attention the whole time you were in the house right? I think she has some self-esteem issues she needs to address. I feel for her in a way.
  • Is Corinne sleeping through the rose ceremony because she already has a rose?
  • I think my favorite part of this show is seeing all the formal wear. I would wear formal wear every day if it was appropriate (and affordable).
  • Oh Hailey, you are 23. You are still young. Don’t give up girl!
  • Ok I am an N’SYNC girl myself, but I would have loved the Back Street Boys date. I mean come on. I grew up in the 90s.
  • There is a mom dance?
  • Do you think they ever have people who don’t drink on this show?
  • Jasmine is so lucky to be on this date with her dance history.
  • Yes Corinne, you are upset that you are not the center of attention.
  • That is really awkward to have the women standing on the sideline as Danielle and Nick are solo dancing. And then kissing…
  • Am I alone in this, but does Jasmine remind anyone of Gabrielle Union? I think they have a similar voice.
  • I mean, I might be there with Corinne and all the sleeping. This whole thing has to be exhausting.
  • BAHHHHH, I am loving these reactions to Corinne’s nanny. I about fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard. But seriously, how does she plan on taking care of someone else?
  • Everything about this…https://www.buzzfeed.com/caseyrackham/corinne-has-a-nanny?utm_term=.unOVVMJZ1y#.feAAAenVGq
  • The Zero Gravity plane. How do I get to do that? Tom would freak out if I got this for him.
  • Poor Vanessa. That seems awful to throw up on your first date. That’s the start of something real if he can still kiss her after she puked.
  • BAHHH I would have died to meet Allyson Felix.
  • This track and field date would be so fun.
  • Astrid getting that ring after the dash was so funny to watch.
  • Are they having this cocktail party in a Pier One? I don’t understand the set up of all that furniture and vases.
  • I love how they are supportive of each other getting the confidence and validation from Nick. Its funny, ironic and awesome all at the same time.
  • Yassss! Rachel!
  • What make up are these gals wearing to feel comfortable being around water?
  • This bouncy house scene is ridiculous.
  • Alexis is hilarious. She is that person who says what everyone is thinking.
  • Corinne is NAPPING AGAIN!
  • There is always one episode where everyone dogs on one person.
  • I think that it is fair that Vanessa kind of interrogated Nick. I mean what is he really wanting? She was honest and firm with how she felt. I think she nailed it.
  •  No ABC. You need to cut this crap out with not ending the episode with the rose ceremony.

Favorites:  Rachel and Vanessa

( I am calling it right now that one of them will be the next Bachelorette.)

I also just found these Bachelor Recap with the Ellen Staff. Whattt? I love Andy Z, and now I love Tracy.

 

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Bachelor Nick Week 2

And the raunch-fest has begun. Here are my thoughts n this week’s episode and how Nick is doing.

  • What is with having the bridal theme dates? This is not the first time they have done that.
  • Corinne is ready to fight.
  • I think this bridal shoot is forcing these first kisses. And I feel like it ruins that moment of your first kiss.
  • Brittany in the top less outfit, and then Corinne’s response. You could tell she was drunk. That was so uncomfortable.
  • HOW DID CORINNE WIN THAT CHALLENGE?
  • What Nick and Corinne had was not chemistry. It was awkward. And it looked/sounded like Nick was not sure what to do.
  • Of course no one has held your boobs like that. You did it forcefully in front of a large group of people, oh and America.
  • Raven interrupting the kiss. That would throw me off so much, but Raven handled it like a champ. I do love hearing her talk. She has the best accent.
  • Liz’s smile could not be more fake.
  • Why is Corinne mad that Taylor interrupted her back? You have already stole him several times…She is cray cray.
  • Corinne lecturing the group for being there for yourself-She is so drunk…
  • WHY DID NICK GIVE CORINNE THAT ROSE? Maybe he isn’t the Nick we saw in BIP.
  • “I was literally just the Corinne.” WTH.
  • Raven was blunt. “If Nick likes someone who leads with their sexuality, no wonder it’s his fourth time.” Bamm.
  • Christen has a normal reaction when Liz told her about their past. I still don’t know how genuine she [Liz] is.
  • Danielle seems really sweet and normal.
  • Nick is really awkward with Liz.
  • Do people really go to this break up museum? It just seems like a weird social event. [Edit:  My friend just went to Hollywood, and she reported that this is really the only thing to do on Hollywood Blvd. Also it is only $10, so I am sure that is a draw.]
  • Liz was ballsy having that conversation in front of everyone. She was really raw and challenged him.
  • I am loving Christen’s reactions.
  • Why is Liz looking so defensive when Nick approaches her?
  • Liz doesn’t make any sense. I agree with Nick. If she wanted to know more about him, why didn’t she call him?
  • I am glad Nick sent Liz home. I don’t think her motives were completely pure towards a relationship.
  • TO BE CONTINUED…Stop it Bachelor. These should not be allowed.

Favorites:  Christen, Danielle, Vanessa, Raven

Who are your favorites currently?

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Baby 2-Eighteen Weeks

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How far along: 18 weeks and 1 day

Sex of Baby W: We find out at the end of this month.

Weight gain: I am down to a total 5 pound loss. My doctor told me that I needed to start gaining weight, so it’s not for a lack of trying I promise.

Size of Baby W:  A bell pepper or a sugar glider

Maternity clothes: The belly really popped out this week, and it is much more obvious that I just didn’t eat too much mac and cheese at lunch. The maternity clothes are making a regular appearance now.

Baby items: We got a few baby clothes for Christmas. I also couldn’t help myself, and I bought a couple “punny” onsies I saw on Zulily.

Stretch marks: Still stretch mark free.

Belly button in or out:  It is flattening out, but it is still in.

Sleep: Sleeping has been hard this past week. I get up at least once to pee. The dogs also practically push me off the bed almost every night. I have a hard enough time getting them to move when I don’t have a belly to keep in mind, so basically they own the bed. I have been having some vivid dreams, but they’re very different than the ones that I had with George. With George, I had really violent dreams. This time they are more like movies that you would find on the Disney Channel.

Best moment the past few weeks: This seems very trivial, but Tom FINALLY brought up an old Xbox to our living room. So now we can watch DVDs and Netflix upstairs instead of on my computer. It has been life-changing! One of my close friends from grad school visited us on NYE on their way back home after the holidays. I can’t believe we hadn’t seen each other for FOUR years! It was great to see her in person and for her to meet George.

Worst moment the past few weeks: Honestly, things have been pretty low-key these past few weeks. I guess if I had to pick a moment, it would have been this particular student who pretty much said what I do for my job was worthless. It’s hard to keep your emotions in check when you are pregnant.

Miss anything: Warm weather. I. Hate. The. Cold. I am so glad my maternity leave will coincide with the summer.

Cravings: Eggs. We have been eating sunny-side-up eggs almost every day for dinner. I also really want Taco Bell because of a commercial I saw…And in case you were wondering, I am still eating almost a whole jar of marinated mushrooms every day.

Movement: I started for sure feeling movement on Christmas Eve. I feel baby more when I am laying down. I haven’t really felt much during the day.

Symptoms/how I am feeling: Overall, I have been feeling a lot better. I have had heartburn really bad this go around. I never had it with George, so this is a new experience. I get light-headed a little bit each time I stand up. Just in the last week, I started breaking out a lot more. Why are there no pleasant symptoms?

Looking forward to: We will find out the sex of the baby before my next update. This big anatomy scan will be the first time Tom has seen the baby since it was 6 weeks old, and it will have been 7 weeks since I have seen it.

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You can read about George at 18 weeks here.

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In 2017

I have never really been one to make resolutions, but as I sat watching my Clemson Tigers over NYE, I started thinking about all the things I want to accomplish this year.

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–>I may have stupidly signed up with Run the Edge to do “Run the Year.” This is to do 2017 miles in the year, which comes out to 5 miles a day. I know what you are thinking, aren’t you pregnant? Yes that is why I said I may have stupidly done this. But I think it will be good motivation to still be active while pregnant and then to get back at it after this baby is born. However, I am already behind…so we’ll see how it goes.

–>I want to learn how more about white balance on my camera. I really want to do better with my photography. I have been avoiding white balance because it seems so complicated. I will conquer it this year though.

–>We need curtains. This is the year we WILL fully decorate our house. We are adding square footage onto our house, so that means more motivation to get things the way we want and fully moved in. This is totally doable while having a baby and a little toddler running around right?

And that is where I am going to end my list. No need to overexert myself.

What are your goals for the year?