“Do you want a girl or a boy? Are you hoping for a girl? Do you want one of each? No seriously, you do want a girl right?”
These are the most common questions that I have gotten since the day we announced we are pregnant. People just can’t help themselves. I get it. There is some curiosity. I am not at all offended.
Because I do want a girl. I have always dreamed of being a girl mom. I used to write lists of possible girl names in my diary when I was in elementary school for my future girl children. I envisioned braiding her hair and talking about books and nonsense giggling over a Friday night movie.
But that isn’t really all that parenting is, is it? (Since I am in the trenches of teaching someone how to not pee in their pants, I guarantee you that school-girl dream is not the gist of parenting.)
Anyway. Yes, I would love the chance to be a girl mom.
But here is the thing.
I love being a MOM. I want any baby God is going to gift me with. This is a BIG lesson that God gave me when we had George. I would be lying if I didn’t say that there weren’t parts of me that weren’t sad about the possibility of a girl slipping away, but God knew exactly what I needed when he gave me George.
And I believe he knows exactly what I need with this next baby.
And not only me but what our family and what our world needs.
Never would I ever look at George now and say I wish you would have been a girl. I love him so desperately, and I know that he was made just for our family. There is no way I would love him more just because he came out a girl.
Babies are babies. I am going to love this kid no matter what sex it is.
I believe in God’s plan for this child and our family. Whatever we are blessed with, I am going to be grateful and love it with all that I am.
I already do.
Would I love the chance to be a girl mom, absolutely. I would love to see George with a sister, and Tom doting on a daughter. I would hope to raise a little girl in this world of uncertainty to be brave and imaginative and break barriers that I couldn’t. I would want to bring her up so she can have the confidence to do great things, not because she is a girl, but because she is a gift from above.
Here is the deal, even if I have a girl, I have no idea who she will be. In reality I may miss out on all the “girl” stuff anyway. She may hate bows and princesses, and want to just wrestle with George in the dirt. George may continue his love affair with shoes or want to do dance, so I can live out my dreams of being a dance mom. And that is ok. I will love whichever way the tide rolls for my kids. There is no reason to say I can’t experience these things we say are “girly or boyish” with either sex.
They will be different because one is George and one is Baby Dubs, not because one is a girl and one is a boy. And they won’t be the same because both of them happen to be boys.
What I want is to be a parent of two bright, funny, caring, overwhelmingly grateful people who are able to share love in this dark world. I don’t need girls to have kids who are compassionate. I don’t need boys to have kids who are brave.The sex shouldn’t matter, it matters on how we treat them once they are here.
And that is a gift that I am eternally grateful that God has blessed us with.
So how can I not just be happy that THERE IS A BABY IN THERE?!? I know I am. A real miracle.
Would I love a little girl? Yes. But I also would love another little boy. I honestly just want the experience of being a parent in whatever way it comes. I will love what I have and dote on this kid just as much as I do on George.
(And hopefully there will be as many pictures)
I have trust and content that there is a greater plan than mine.