April 21, 2013 by Stephanie

One Fine Day

Now I know that the Chiffons are dancing in your head right now as you hum the tune “One Fine Day.”

My post has nothing to do with that song.

It’s just that one fine day I decided to go without shoes.

Last Tuesday, I participated in an event sponsored by TOMS shoes. This was a day where people around the world decided to ditch their shoes so we could put ourselves in someone else’s “shoes.” It was an event to raise awareness for awareness about global children’s health and education.

There were several at ISU that participated with me in this challenge.

I will say, I am not sure how many I actually spread the word to throughout the day, but it was a simple step for me to take a look at this issue.

Here are some of my personal observations from the experience.

1. Not wearing shoes is not the norm. People stared and did those double take looks. At first, many people were squeamish about the idea of it it. I found myself often throughout the day hiding my feet so people wouldn’t stare. I felt a little naked…And I even chose to go shoeless.

2. I walked different than I do with shoes. I found myself walking on my toes instead of the whole foot. Which one is better I don’t know, but I did it because I felt like I needed less of my foot to hit the ground to protect it.

3. Because of my high arches and walking abnormally as said above, my feet and knees were in pain by the end of the day without my hand dandy arch supports I slip into every pair of shoes I own.

4. I did not fully participate in the challenge because I knew there were places that I could not go without shoes like restaurants. I also didn’t feel comfortable going barefoot when I was outside with Grace. Who knows what would have happened if she would have ran after a bunny or leaf blowing in the wind. So there were parts of the day that I did slip my shoes back on. I couldn’t bring myself to even really go the full day.

5. I did go to public restrooms without shoes. All I have to say is that I feel fortunate that I was going in women’s restrooms. But there were comments made by others who wouldn’t go because they couldn’t bring themselves to go barefoot in the lavatory.

6. I am disgusted by things sticking to my skin. I rarely ever go barefoot normally because I hate feeling things stick to my feet. So I was constantly checking my feet and rubbing them clean on the hem of my dress.

It was a great experience for me. I feel empowered by it. It made me think about the access and privilege that I have. If you know me, you know that I have a pair of shoes in pretty much every shade, and I am always matching my outfits with my footwear. Do I feel guilty that I have this many shoes? To be honest, I don’t. I did not choose to be born into the family I am in so I cannot feel guilty about my lot in life and the opportunities that have been put in front of me. And I worked hard to have money to be able to afford many pretty things. I don’t think we should feel guilty about where we came from and what we have. But just because I do not feel guilt, doesn’t mean I didn’t learn something that I can change to help reach out.

I am humbled by this experience. It made me think about what I have and appreciate that I can take care of myself. Yep, I do have privilege. I am able to afford shoes that help with my bad arches and support my bad knees. I have shoes that aren’t of convenience or comfort, but that make me happy inside. I am able to wear shoes that give me the pass to participate in school and social events. Even within this one fine day, I was able to have the freedom to wear shoes as I needed. Something to think about there.

It makes you take in what you have and appreciate it, but also realize that with your privilege you should pass it on. A pay it forward message so to speak. I have made some promises to myself to do things that will help in the cause whether that is donation or education.We all have a contribution to make, but we have to decide that for ourselves with what is within our means and abilities.

Do I think that I can change the world? Eh, maybe not.

Do I think that I completely understand these situations because I went part of a day without shoes? Well no.

But I am doing my best to change myself to be a better human being who is appreciative of the life I have and try to give back wherever and whenever I can. You just have to put your best foot forward everyday.

Here are some of my staff members and I going shoeless at the desk!

With that what can you do to make a simple step towards bettering either your life or someone else?

I don’t have a craft today. Eeeek I know! I have been working on a few things, and I really wanted to write this before I could complete anything.

So in a craft’s place I have a website that was shared with me for crocheting projects. I spent hours on it earlier today just perusing different patterns and making a wishlist of projects. And you can find a lot of free patterns!

ravelry.com

I am excited to start some new projects, but I have two in the works right now that I need to finish first. So I will just make a long list in the meantime.

April 14, 2013 by Stephanie

Keep Your Fork

A woman was diagnosed with a terminal illness and given three months to live. She asked her Pastor to come to her home to discuss her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at her funeral, and what scriptures she wanted read, and which outfit she wanted to be buried in. Then she said, “One more thing… I want to be buried with a fork in my hand.” The pastor was surprised.
The woman explained, “In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably say to everyone, ‘Keep your fork.’ It was my favorite time of the dinner, because I knew something better was coming, like velvety chocolate cake or deep dish apple pie – something wonderful. So, I want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and wonder, “What’s with the fork?” Then, I want you to tell them, “Keep your fork, because the best is yet to come.”
The pastor’s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he bid the woman goodbye. He realized she had a better grasp of heaven than he did, and knew something better was coming. At the funeral, when people asked him why she was holding a fork, the pastor told them of the conversation he had with the woman before she died. He said he could not stop thinking about the fork, and knew they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right.

I recently heard this story at church. The timing of this sermon could not have been better placed in my life. Seriously, God knows what he is doing.
Very soon here I will be making some pretty big transitions. Leaving a profession I have been in for nearly a decade, permanently signing on for a roommate (aka my husband who I have been in a long distance relationship on and off for 5 years), starting a new job that although I am really excited about it is way out of my comfort zone, and becoming a full time military base resident. With all that, I have been a little terrified of leaving all that I know here in Iowa. Don’t get me wrong, I cannot wait to be with my husband again, but that is a lot of change to take in for a gal who loves her routines.

I was getting nervous about what the transition was going to look like and sad about having to leave the life I have created here. I have become comfortable with what I know. I still hadn’t fully announced that I had gotten new job and how quickly things were coming to an end. And since I wasn’t really saying it out loud to others meant I could just not admit it to myself too. Yay comfort zone and avoidance. But it’s funny how reality sneaks up on you. All these what-ifs and questions started popping up.

• I got a new job! Ekk I got a new job! oh no I got a new job….um I am not going to be a Hall Director..what?
• How do I start telling people I am leaving sooner than I thought?
• I need to have those change and transition conversations with my staff. How do I get them on board with change is good?
• What if Grace doesn’t do well in our new house?
• My department only has 5 people in it. How am I going to find friends?
• How do I learn about disability law for the new job? So many details! What have I gotten myself into?
• What if I don’t connect with the military wives/lifestyle/etc?
• How are we going to afford groceries?
• Does the area have a volleyball rec league? (major life issue I know…)
• What if, how, when—-mind exploding…nervous eruption…grrr…..

This story and the great sermon that followed really helped me derail my worry and doubt. It gave me a new perspective. I got back to the excitement and was ready to embrace the change again without hesitation.

I realize that these worries may seem trivial, but I feel that this story applies to all circumstances.

Having faith that things will get better doesn’t mean having a pie in the sky idealism. That kind of faith doesn’t pay the bills or deal with cancer. You can’t just wish things to happen and expect them to automatically appear. But having a “keep the fork” kind of faith to me means believing and hoping that the worst thing that you experience isn’t the last thing. We can’t change our circumstances, but I believe we aren’t going to be handed things we can’t handle. This faith says that even though life in the moment is difficult, God will see you through. And in the end something better is always coming.

We worry so much in this day and age. We have so much that we are waiting for to be fixed or are bitter that we can’t have something we feel we deserve. There are a lot of hopeless attitudes. We just need to accept that things may happen and be aware of our demise, but understand that this doesn’t mean that life is over now. We can always be working along our journey to enjoy it even in those dark moments. And dessert is always coming. And who doesn’t love a little cake, or cookie, or cheesecake, or other yummies in the tummies?

I hope that this story helps you to think about an area that you can “keep the fork” for and be presently surprised at how you can switch from hopelessness to hopeful.

So.
“Keep Your Fork.
The best is yet to come.”

And in the eatery spirit, my craft tonight is something for our new kitchen. I have had the luxury of access to a dining hall for the last 3 years. This means, someone else has planned what I eat every day, and I have taken full advantage of that. Thank you ISU dining!

So it will be a big transition to have to cook/prepare meals every day. So in an effort to be more organized and be able to plan our budget along with it, this project was born. A menu board!

You will need a photo frame with enough spots for the days of the week, scrapbook paper, sticker letters, and a dry erase marker.

I was just going to use my Cricut to cut out the letters, but after 2 hours of it ripping cardstock, I went to Hobby Lobby to get the sticker letters. So that is another option for the letters if you can get your Cricut to cooperate. I did get the title done with the Cricut but the letters were larger so I think that is why they didn’t rip.

It also took me awhile to find 8 different pages of scrapbook paper that I felt didn’t clash with each other. I had tons of books to go through! Then you just cut it to size.

So here is what it looks like without the words.

And here is the final product with an idea of what a week would look like.

And here is Grace while I was messing with and despising the Cricut…totally not invested in the process.

I think this board will be good to keep us planning ahead especially with grocery shopping. So we’ll see!

March 31, 2013 by Stephanie

Walmart People

Reintegration is filled with lot of things. There are some rough transitions with being assimilated back into mainstream society, but there were some really fun moments watching Tom come home.

Here are some of the highlights of what I have been witness to:

1. Walking Grace

2. Getting Dunkin Donuts

3. Eating fast food

4. Watching T.V.

5. Driving his jeep

6. Red Lobster

7. Watching all of season 7 of How I Met Your Mother in 36 hours

8. Texting for the first time

But all of these could not match watching him react to Walmart.

We went to Walmart every time that we left the house that first weekend. And we had to go through every aisle just to see what was new.

It is like when you tell a child that he can have one toy, and so he has to closely inspect everything to make sure that he chooses the right thing. I really enjoyed watching the deliberation and how excited he was. Pure joy! It was also fun to see him get excited about things that had been out for weeks or even months, but for him it was all brand new.

To see Tom’s face light up when he saw oodles of fresh fruit, milk, and soap, reminded me how lucky we are in the US. It made me appreciate our lot in life a little bit more. I never realized how significant going shopping for every day things were until now. We live in a society where it is normal to have hundreds of options to pick from at your fingertips. Ohhh American consumerism.

A month later, we still go to Walmart almost every time we leave the house. Tom’s response to this is either “Because I can” or “When I needed another tube of toothpaste, I had to wait 2 months for it to get to me, and I didn’t get to choose the brand. I want to choose my toothpaste.”

So we are filling his need for instant gratification at the moment. Most of the time though, we do not buy things. We end up just perusing the aisles and seeing and being the People of Walmart.

And who doesn’t love riding the shopping cart through the parking lot on your way back to the car?

With the move coming up in a little more than a month, I have so many ideas for our new house!

Here is one of the new things for our bathroom.

You can get everything from Walmart or Target.

candlestick holder (I picked one with a large base so it would be able to stabilize more weight.)
plate charger
hefty duty glue
spray paint (Don’t use the primer. This was a wasted step for me. If your candle holder is medal though, I would recommend it.)

First you glue the candle holder to the bottom of the charger. With most hefty duty glues you need to wait a lengthy period of time for it to seal. So just make sure that you give yourself that time.

Then you spray paint it whatever color you desire.

And done.

We are going to put mason jars on top to hold our tooth brushes, cotton balls, etc. I will post an updated picture once the move happens.

This could be used for tons of things: holiday decor, cake stand, soap dish…

The whole thing cost less than 10 bucks. Easy peasy.

March 21, 2013 by Stephanie

Lean In

Now that Tom is back, I keep getting the question, “How is he adjusting back?”

I will say that my husband is very good at compartmentalizing things. It is a skill that I envy at times. He is good at separating things and knowing when to appropriately deal with them. So for the most part, I would say that the adjustment is going really well. He is awesome, what can I say?

There have been a few minor things for us to work through, but you have to make adjustments in any relationship when circumstances around you change. You learn and adapt with the growing pains. You talk it out and figure it out together. If you don’t then you are just stubborn. I will admit, I have had my own few moments of stubbornness since Tom has gotten back which I have since learned the error of my ways. In most cases, we have picked up right where we left off when he left in September. But there have been small nuances that I noticed that I tried to change without understanding. Because my world hadn’t physically changed, I forgot in those moments that so much had for Tom. Seeking to understand was something that I preach every day at work, and here I was assuming that I know everything about Tom. Whoops.

There are many things about the deployment that I still don’t know or will never understand. It is what it is. He experienced it so I don’t have to. Regardless if I think about it or not, the deployment is part of who he is now. I just need to be patient and willing to ask questions and not always get an answer. Ain’t that the pits though?

You will ALWAYS be learning about your partner. Do I know Tom the best? Absolutely, but things are constantly changing for both of us. I needed to be more aware of the things that I was saying and how I was reacting to him. Yes there have been some things that are different, but that doesn’t mean that deep down he isn’t the man that I married. And I am sure we will have to adjust again once I move on base with him this summer. Just wait until my OCD comes out when we reorganize. (“You put those spoons where?”)

Everyone has little quirks that we have to accept and move past lovingly. The best way we are getting through that is being open and honest with each other. We both have to be patient and be willing to say “I’m sorry.” That’s about all you can ask for really. Like I said, we are doing just dandy adjusting back to both being in the states and we are creating our happily ever after for once.

Life is a constant roller coaster. It goes a lot smoother if you lean in a little bit and change your position based on the turns. I am serious on that one. I rode roller coasters for a living for a few years. (Yay Worlds of Fun!) If you sit back against the seat in resistance, you don’t enjoy the ride as much, and it may seem bumpier or a “rough ride.” Life is just like this. You have to lean in a bit on the corners and just ride it out. And sometimes you put your hands in the air and scream it out. Who doesn’t love a little air time?

This week my craft comes from my staff. We do fun on ones once a semester to change up our normal weekly office meetings. They get to choose what fun activity we do, and this time one of my staff wanted to make something for our event. So craft away we did!

She bought a canvas bag, ribbon, liquid stitch, and the t-shirt she wanted to use.

Liquid stitch is awesome! I had never heard of it before Megan introduced me to it. You just have to iron it! Mind blown.

Megan did most of the work. I just assisted with cutting and placement holding. But who doesn’t love crafting as part of your job?

March 10, 2013 by Stephanie

Kicking it On Top of the World

Nothing is going to bring you down when you are about to see your love after 6 months of the unknown.

Not even pulling an all-nighter. For those who know me, they are well aware that I am not a happy camper without my sleep. I become a much angrier version of myself. I have nightmares of what my last all-nighter looked like my freshmen year of college with Amy as we studied for our American Government final-wretched.

Tom was scheduled to come in at 7pm originally, which with that I figured we would have an all-nighter anyway with not having seen each other in 6 months. But that was on my terms. The first lesson you learn in the military is that plans always change at the last minute. Days before his trip, they pushed back the flight arrival to 1:30am. Oh goodness.

And of course you have to be there several hours before they actually land, so I drove up to the parade field at 10:30pm and boarded what looked like a prison bus with several other wide-eyed families so they can take you to the hanger outside of the airfield.

Then you just sit on these hard cold bleachers in a hanger for a couple hours as a soldier counts down every 10 minutes. I played several rounds of bejeweled and tried to read a book, but my nerves were on high alert and I ended up looking at the time every few seconds. You would think the last 2 hours would be easy compared to going through 6 months of waiting.

Wrong, they were the worst 2 hours of the whole deployment.

And of course it is probably the one time of the year that it decided to be snowing and gross in KY. So when they had us file outside to wait for the plane for a half hour, I am pretty sure I lost feeling of my toes and nose as we were waiting for the plane to land.

So here I was at 1 o’clock in the morning, wet, cold, anxious and cranky. Surrounded by other wet, cold, anxious, and cranky people. We were a sight.

But then we heard that humming noise. All of a sudden, there is a plane in front of our face.

It was pretty cool to see a plane land right in front of you, and even more special considering the cargo it held.

Then we waited for what seemed forever for them to actually get off the plane and watch them file past us. Ugh they all looked the same in the uniforms and through the snow and tears of joy. Where was my hubby?!?

And then I saw him!

There is my guy.

All the worry, all the anxiety, all the everything just melted away. I didn’t feel cold; I wasn’t tired; I was on top of the world. I have him back!

I was half tempted to jump the barricade and go tackle him right there, but my better judgement won over there.

Then we waited for a 5 minute ceremony to commence before we were able to actually talk with our soldiers for 20 minutes.

We had our wonderful legs-wrapped-around-the-waist-hug airport moment. Nothing can compare to this moment.

You are just in shock that you are touching each other and seeing each other in real life. It is a goosebump moment.

Then after these wonderful few minutes, they have an exhilarating process of turning in sensitive items. This took about 4 hours….

You are not able to see your soldier during this time until the whole unit is done turning in the necessary gear. So you sit in a room with all the family members waiting for them to be released. Every time the door open, the whole room turned in anticipation and then slumped back down as we realize it was not them.

My cranky pants came back on at this point. I had hit the wall.

They were finally released around 6 am. We were heading back to the house as the rest of the base was coming into work.

It is hard to explain the nerves and joy that washed over me during this whole process. You look over, and it is a like a surprise all over again that he is actually back. We both kept saying that this felt like a dream.

As the song says, “I don’t think it’s ever felt so good, or felt so right. You here with me tonight.”

It’s in those moments that everything you just went through is worth it. You are on top of the world. This song was my anthem that weekend. Every word of this song expresses how I feel to have him back stateside.

And you are just really proud of what he accomplished. He just went and did something that very few in our country will do. But at the same time, you are pretty grateful that it is over for the time being.

Some other fun stories from that night: There was a proposal, a separate proposal that led to their marriage in a parking lot that night, and a father seeing his few month old baby girl for the first time.

I don’t think I will ever take these moments and grand experiences for granted. Going through this makes you realize what is important and how precious moments can be. Just soak it in.

It makes moments like this priceless.

I loved seeing how Grace loves her dad! They have been inseparable since.

We are still doing the long distance for now until I move this summer, but it is unbelievable good to know that the worst of it is over. I can call him anytime I want, and see him every couple of weeks.

You have to live in the moment, and be on top of the world as much as you can. It is even better when you have someone to share it with.

This craft is another map project to commemorate our moves.

I had the place, the map, and the years we lived there.

It was something I made in Publisher and then printed off.