10 Days of Tom

Tom has never been a big birthday person. Usually we do something fairly low key, and there have been years Tom has removed his birthday info from social media so people wouldn’t know.

But this year was Tom’s 30th.

I wanted to do something to make a big deal about it but also be sensible.

Enter the idea to do small gifts over 10 days.

10 Days of Tom

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First, I am no expert wrapper. Just get it covered is my motto. Second, I had already given Tom day one’s gift before I had the forethought to take a collective picture.

Here is what each day brought him.

Day 1: Funfetti cake and Coldstone gift card. He needed his birthday sprinkles.

Day 2: House shoes. We love being old.

Day 3:  Gum and travel teeth cleaning items. My husband doesn’t like to have bad breath or a yucky mouth, and since he will be out of the house a lot these will come in handy.

Day 4:  Undershirts. He has been using his army tans for his undershirts. No thank you. He needed to update his closet since getting out of the Army.

Day 5:  Mike and Ikes. His favorite candy.

Day 6:  Nalgene. This is Tom’s favorite water bottle, and they have been lost (err I lost them) in the last few years. So it was time they were replaced.

Day 7:  This one was just for Tom. But it had something to do with birthday suits. Keeping the romance alive.

Day 8:  Chipotle gift card. This is his favorite place to eat. Always be bulking.

Day 9:  Two wallet sized photos, one of our family and one of just George. Tom’s has always kept photos in his wallet, so he needed some updated ones with George. This way we can always be with him.

Day 10:  Pre-made date cards for the entire year. There is one for each month. We have had a hard time finding time to go on dates and be just us. We usually end up staying home watching a half hour of TV before the dogs or George need us to do something. With this one I wanted to make sure we do something fun and different each month to reconnect. I wanted to be intentional on putting focus on that “us” time. Some of them are random, but they should be fun. Tom was upset that I gave him a gift that he couldn’t fully open since we will open each month one at a time when that month rolls around. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

This was really fun to do for both of us. I liked doing some fun and some practical gifts. It went over well, but now I have set this standard…whoops.

Have you done anything like this? Here is one my friend did. (She was a lot more awesome about her coordination than I was.) How do you celebrate birthdays with your significant other?

Talks with Tom #34

I have mentioned our quest for George’s pacies on many occasions.

Seriously they just disappear into thin air.

We had this conversation a few days ago during one of George’s daily games of “Make Mom and Dad Chase the Pacy.”

The pacy had fallen out about a half a dozen times in a 5 minute span. And of course George starts pouting until we get the pacy that HE spit out on purpose.

Tom-I’m going to put a rubber band around your head so you can’t spit it out.

Me-We should get croakies for the pacy like they have for glasses.

Tom-What would we call it? We could call it a pokey.

Me-I don’t think that would be appropriate.

Tom-Yea I immediately realize how bad it is is to strap something called a pokey to a child’s face.

We received a pacy clip thing for Christmas so hopefully that will end the chase game that happens on the daily basis in our house. And maybe we won’t keep losing those things.

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 We haven’t seen this pacy probably since this picture was taken two weeks after he was born…

The Job Offer

I am so happy to share the news that Tom also has the job of his dreams! He waited for the last decade to hear this call. And this was his reaction to the excitement:

Tom-It’s not that it’s a job offer. It’s that it is THE job. Like if a genie said I could have any job, I would pick this one. Or maybe an astronaut. I want to live on the space station but with the flexibility of coming home every night.

He will be starting his new job as a police officer here in the next couple weeks. I could not be more proud of him! He has been waiting so long for this dream to come to fruition. Despite so many nay-sayers out there, he kept at it and added on credentials so departments could not say no. And here we are!

He will be going through the police academy for three months at the start of the new year. It will be much different than trainings that he has had in the past because he comes home every night, but it will be tough none the less.

There are parts of me that are a little scared of this profession. It seems as though we celebrated him leaving one dangerous profession to go straight into another one. There are a lot of similarities but a lot that will be different as well.

We are in a time where every move of a police officer is being watched and many fingers are being pointed at them. I am afraid that there are blanket statements being made about police officers because of the actions of a few. Because of this, I feel that many departments will not be supported by their communities and officers will be left hanging There is also the possibility that they will have even bigger targets on their backs. It scares me that many of them will be alone now. I hope that people realize that there are thousands of officers out there that put their life on the line for this country, but unfortunately now all of them are being put in this “bad and untrustworthy” category just because they wearing a badge.

Not all cops are bad. In fact, I have read it in many places that less than 1% of that profession are doing things that are corrupt. Which is a better rate than you can find in most professions.

Blaming the masses never helps any group.

Do I think that there needs to be change in this country? Absolutely.

We all need to be a little more human. We need to listen more to the complexity of the situation, and that includes both sides.

We just need to listen more period.

What I think is happening instead of having compassion is that people are using hate to make change, which in my opinion changes nothing. Or changes things, but not for the betterment of the whole entity. But I digress.

I know that being in law enforcement is Tom’s dream, and he is going to be a great cop. Much like his dream to be in the military, I know that he goes into it not for the heroism or for the accolades. He goes into this job because he wants to make a difference.

Throughout my career, I have had the pleasure of working with some fantastic officers who put it all out there for their communities and the students we work with. They have always wanted to act in a way to make positive change. I always look forward to that partnership. On many occasions they made my job easier because of their actions (whether it was reactive or proactive).

Here are a couple videos that serve as a reminder of the definition of a cop. These are videos to highlight that there are moments where decisions have to be made in split second to save lives. Watch this and this. Sorry for the language and some of the images shown., but it is the reality that I think is overlooked while fingers are pointed. This article is a little more tarty in how it gets the message across, but I think there are some good points about some double standards we have for the profession. They [police officers] deal with some pretty heavy things; things that most of us could not fathom doing once in a lifetime let alone every day. While I do think there is a difference because of some of the things cops are tasked with doing and there are expectations because of that grave responsibility, I just don’t understand the mentality of putting them all in a box when we go to evaluate their effectiveness.

These are sides I think that we all like to forget in the midst of the troubles in our society.

For those of us who are close to a cop, it is all too real to accept they may not come home today.

And while I know that there are people who may disagree with me and say that I don’t see the injustice that is going on, believe me, I see it. I am seeing it in a lot of places.

I may not have the personal perspective to speak about every injustice, I do have the personal perspective of watching my husband embark on the path to take another oath to serve and protect. Another oath to put his life on the line. So I am speaking from my view and my circle, and I acknowledge my privileged with that.

To be honest with you though, I am stricken with fear that he won’t come home because something went array. Or that something could happen that will cost him his dream.

My husband could be Darren Wilson. They are the same age and the same build. Would Tom have reacted the same way? Maybe yes maybe no, but it is possible for him to find himself in a similar situation. It is hard for me not to see that, and I understand that I need to unpack so many things with that complexity. I do know that Tom is going to do what is within his means to protect this community against threats and come home to George and I. He will react how he was trained and will make a judgement call to that situation. Some people may not agree with that mentality, but I am going to stand behind him as he goes into this career.

While they have some terrible things they have to face, I am excited to see how Tom infuses himself in our community. He has a deep love for his hometown. Seriously he could be a walking billboard for the place, and I am fairly positive he has tried convincing all of our friends to move here. I know that he is going to have a positive impact through his job and plans to give back in so many ways. I see Tom doing things like this, this, and this. Oh and this.

Police Officers are to be community builders and helpers. This is how we grew up knowing them, and I want people to see my husband that way too.

Talks with Tom #33

We love Hy-Vee.

Like obsessed with Hy-Vee.

For the last couple years we haven’t had it because Tennessee apparently doesn’t know what is good for it.

If you were unaware, Hy-Vee is a mid-west based grocery store. You are missing out if you do not have them around you.

They have a fantastic selection, good perks, and best of all the buffet is the bomb dot com.

Seriously, Tom and I have date nights in this grocery store buffet.

And there is one five minutes from our new house.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Tom went today to stock our new kitchen, and I kept getting texts of how awesome our life is now with Hy-Vee back in it. I am fairly sure he was there for a couple hours…or all afternoon.

  • I don’t know exactly what freedom tastes like, but a caribou latte and peppermint bark has to be close.
  • I want to live inside Hy-vee….the carts here have cup holders.
  • Hy-vee mango salsa is so good it may ruin my life.

I also received this picture just saying “snack wall.”

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I may get sick eating all the chocolate covered everything.

So many dispensers of awesome.

Hy-Vee it has been so long. We are glad to welcome you back into our lives.

Talks with Tom #32

This weekend Tom was able to see George for the first time in 3 weeks. Unfortunately, George has also been going through a grumpy phase this past week. I think he is going through a growth spurt because he is always hungry, which outside of putting on lotion is the only time he cries. He is also really drooly so I also think he may be starting to teeth…ahhhh.

Anyway…

This is a conversation we had about George being a grumpy pants.

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Tom-I wish that he came with a Grumpy bag that we could just empty so he could be happy all the time. We could just empty it out like wooop…(as he demonstrated emptying a bag off of his side)

Me-So like a colostomy bag?

Tom-Well yea. Just squirt out the grumpy. Or you could clean it out with a q-tip like blooop. But no….

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Tom did get some smiles out of him before he had to head back to KY for his last week in the Army. Last week what!?!