Writer’s Block and Some Fast Facts

Lately, I just haven’t fully felt motivated to write or craft. Ok well let’s be honest, I end up asleep on the couch a lot. So while I am being more active with the dogs and trying to keep the house cleaner than it was in January, it has not left me much brain power for the blog.

So in an effort to push away the blockage, I thought I would share some random facts about myself. This may be more than you want to know about me, but oh well.

1. I don’t have a sense of smell. Cue-What you can’t smell? How is that possible? Can you taste? Here try to smell this-insert random object stuck up my nose. I am serious. I do not smell things. I realized this in elementary school when you were blindfolded to see if you could tell the difference between different objects using your senses. And I thought everything was the same when it came to smell. Since there really isn’t anything you can do for smell, I just have kind of let it go. I actually hid it from my parents for a long time (like only within the last couple years told my dad and step-mom) because I was embarrassed. With people I don’t know, I just play along when they say something smells good/bad. But for real folks, I can’t smell. I taste things just fine since all of you were wondering. I will say that I do put a lot more emphasis on texture of foods than I would say most do, but I honestly don’t know how different my taste is to a smelling person because I have never had that capability. Also, it works out pretty nicely with having a husband in the infantry because I can’t smell his rankness or farts. Sorry everyone else.

2. I know how to drive a steam engine train. It has been a few years, so I am probably a little rusty, but I am sure I could pick it right back up. I learned this while working at an amusement park during college. The train was a real one I promise. The fun things you pick up working in a park-like how to win the carnival games (it’s not tricks, but just knowing the system and lots of practice).

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One of the real engineers who taught me all about the train. He reminded me so much of my grandpa.

3. Sometimes I am really overcome with emotion. This is an issue at times. Like when I am in line at the store, and there is a sweet little baby in front of me. I have to fight back tears because I am so happy. Seriously, there are real tears in my eyes because of that child. I can cry at grocery store commercials, when I see a dog walking by me, really anything can trigger these emotions without warning. When I feel things, I feel them all out.

4. I took a ballet class when I was 25 years old. I was much more into basketball when I was a kid. I did take tap and gymnastics for a few years, but never ballet. I have always been envious of dancers, and while I don’t claim to have the best rhythm, I knew I wanted to someday take a class. So when I got my first full time job, I did just that. There were only two of us in the class, and it is still one of my favorite adult experiences. It is also some of the best workouts I have ever had. I have tried finding adult classes here to take, but I haven’t had any luck.

5. In my entire life, I have only broken one bone. And it was my butt. Although I have no other bones to compare it to, I am certain breaking your tailbone is the worst. You can’t sit, walk, sleep, or anything without feeling the pain. And going #2, just forget it. If you were not aware, every move of every day is connected to your rear end. It was awful. I broke it when I was playing a pick up game of basketball in grad school. I went to block a lay-up against a guy who was twice my size, however, I do want to say I was successful in stopping him dead in his tracks. It may have been in fear that I was dead from a possible concussion because apparently my head bounced, but that is neither here nor there. It was awful to go to classes or walk around campus for meetings for about a month after. Our classes were for 3 hours at a time, so I had to either stand for the entire time, or I laid on tables in the back of the classroom. I was really classy. And then I moved to carrying around a big rubber butt donut…even classier.

6. When I was 15, my dad let me accompany him on a school trip he sponsored to the British Virgin Islands. Long story shot, my dad was a marine biology teacher at our high school, and he did this trip for anyone who wanted to spend a week learning hands on about marine life. On a sailboat. The summer I went, he had two different sections with a few days in between, so we were there for almost 3 weeks. It was such an awesome experience and one that made me even more of a daddy’s girl.

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This is the note that I got as a birthday present from my dad when I was 15. Seriously still the best birthday present ever. (And I saved you from seeing me as a gawky teenager who was living on a boat for 3 weeks…)

7. I played flute in 6th grade, but I hated having to keep my arm held up for so long (ie. lazy). So at the end of the year, when our band director asked if anyone was interested in switching to saxophone, my hand immediately shot up without even thinking about what I was signing up for. It ended up being a really great impulsive thing on my part. I loved playing sax, and it opened up so many doors that never would have happened if I stayed on flute. I am a little bitter at myself though because I still have my flute that my parents bought at my future jazz flutist insistence, but I don’t own my own saxophone. I rented an instrument every year even through college. Silly sixth grader.

8. I have a dream of owning a farm large enough that I can have an elephant sanctuary. I really wanted to train elephants when I was a kid, and it has never really left me. I have read scads of books on elephants and sanctuaries like this so I know how ridiculous of a dream this may seem. But after reading a book like Modoc by Ralph Helfer, I have always wanted to have a relationship like that with an elephant and help save their life (well maybe not everything like Modoc because they did some pretty crazy things together). Anyway, it’s like rescuing dogs on a much heavier scale.

9. I am highly allergic to cats. One time when I was a kid, my friend’s cat scratched me and my hand blew up like a balloon. I have also had a few instances where I almost took myself to the ER because I couldn’t breathe. I break out in hives and my throat closes up. Luckily, I had an amazing doctor in Iowa who found the perfect prescription match-up that I have to take daily in order to survive somewhat normally around cat dander. Unfortunately, one of those prescriptions is not approved for pregnancy, so I am making do with a back up in the mean time.

10. The most random movies will give me nightmares, and pretty much any scary movie or mind game movie naturally. When I was a kid, I cried and had nightmares with the Lion King…I know just plain silly. I still loved it, and wouldn’t know I would get nightmares until I went to sleep. Now it is mostly your typical nightmare inducing flicks, like The Black Swan. Awful. I couldn’t sleep for weeks because of that movie. I would just lay in bed and cry like I was 5 years old (and I was 26…). It also didn’t help that my husband likes to scare the crap out of me and would jump from behind me with a picture of Natalie Portman’s character over his face. True story of torture.

11. I have been told that I have a nice singing voice. However, I cannot sing A Capella or solo and sound good. I need music or someone else to accompany me to actually have a good singing voice. I don’t know why, but I am guessing if I don’t have a guide on the notes, I cannot hear the tone in my own head.

12. I had pneumonia 9 times before I was a one year old. I was one sick baby. And then I was allergic to pretty much everything under the sun. I am so glad I grew out of that! Luckily for me since I spent so many of my formative years eating pretty healthy, it kind of stuck with me as I grew up. Don’t get me wrong, I am a sucker for a box of White Cheddar Cheezits, but I normally I snack on fruits and veggies. I never let my plate go un-happy as a kid. I ate every veggie put in front of me. Except Lima beans, those things are gross (but mostly because of their gritty chalky texture).

13. This number is my favorite number. I have never had a bad Friday the 13th. It was my number in basketball whenever I was allowed to choose. Tom and I become an official couple on a Friday the 13th way back in 2007. So I think it is pretty lucky for me!

It’s Not You. It’s Me.

Rejection.

No one likes to be told, “I/We don’t want you.”

It is in our nature as humans to be wanted and needed.

Well this week, I felt another stab of rejection. I received another, “It’s not you, it’s me” kind of thank you for applying but we have found someone else notification.

In my head, though, I hear, “We have found someone better than you.”

After job searching continuously for 2 straight years (3 if you count the brief time that Tom and I were searching in Texas before he joined the Army), you get a little jaded on the job position rejections and having to start over…again

And this one hit a particular nerve knowing it was the last job I was going to go after here in TN.

You start to feel that there may be something wrong with you. You start to doubt your abilities and worth as a professional. You start to wonder if you are heading down the right path. You begin to regret all the energy and time spent preparing cover letters/resumes/detailed interview questions/all job garb. It’s hard not to be frustrated, angry, disappointed, bitter, downtrodden, embarrassed, insert all downer emotions here…

 I know I am a good professional, but when I got the news, I felt all the doubt and insignificance seep into my heart. This time though, I didn’t want to feel worthless.

So I let myself have a good wallowing moment and let some ok a lot of tears fall out of disappointment.

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After I let the dogs lick away my tears (which definitely happened), I was determined not to let these “We hired someone who isn’t you” moments define who I am.

(And really how can you be upset anymore after some good snuggles and kisses from these two?)

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I pulled out my Bible and started whipping through verses and stories about rejection and starting over.

I read and was reminded about countless “suddenly” moments that God had instigated changing the course of their lives as they knew it.

David was a shepherd boy, but he was suddenly tasked with taking care of Goliath and eventually became king.

Moses was just hanging out in the wilderness for several decades when suddenly a burning bush directed him to lead a nation.

Ruth, Peter, Paul, and more had second chances. They were given new starts to fulfill God’s plan for them.

The one that struck me the most was Genesis 37: 25-28. This is the passage that talks about Joseph (the “dreamcoat” one) and where his brothers abandoned him.

How could Joseph not feel rejection? He was sold into slavery by his OWN family. Talk about huge rejection!

This as we know, however, was all part of God’s plan for Joseph.

As painful as it is, I have to find satisfaction in God and what he has provided for me. I am awarded so much beauty in my life, and I have so much to be thankful for. It’s not about what I can’t have, it should be about what I do have.

I have no idea what God has in store for me. As much as the planner in me hates that, I will eagerly wait for the “suddenly” moment for me to understand what my next step will be. Who knows, maybe here soon I will understand this to be that moment. I have to be open to possibilities. Cliche maybe: as one door closes, another opens. Or find a window or some other exit strategy from my current situation.

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So for now, I will just agree with all the job-search-Stephanie haters. It is you, it’s not me.

I have to press in and press on.

So God, “What’s next?”

Simple Moments Stick

A New List: 35 Before 35

So I updated my list to accommodate my need to extend my deadline. I did adjust some things, but many stayed the same.

So here is how I did this last month.

1. Crochet something else besides blankets or scarves at least once a year

  • I have a few blankets I need to whip out right now, but I do have something planned for little man.

2. Do a photography challenge

  • I have it all planned out, but I won’t be doing it until the fall.

3. Visit 5 cities I have never been to before (1/5)

  • I went to Johnson City, TN. It was for a conference, but I was able to see a university there and parts of the city while in town. And the hotel we stayed in was GORGEOUS!

4. Tour at least one of the distilleries in the KY/TN area

  • Maybe this summer?

5. Send at least 5 snail mail a month

  • This has been a fun one to finish each month.

6. Become a “professional” photographer

  • Sill a work in progress, but slowly some day I will get there. I am having fun along the way.

7. Complete at least 10 races (any distance) (0/10)

  • I have the half marathon planned in a couple weeks with my sister-in-law. I am still going back and forth on how it will go now…

8. Go camping with Tom

  • Nothing yet.

9. Pay for the car behind me in a drive through

  • Nothing.

10. See Tyrone Wells live as many times as possible

  • I get to see him in a little less than a month!

11. Tour Fort Defiance here in Clarksville

  • People, I just found out that Ft. Defiance sometimes does Civil War re-enactments! I need this in my life! I am scoping their calendar/website to see if one is coming up for our schedule!

12. Water ski with my dad

  • Another summer to plan.

13. Do a 5K with my mom

  • Nothing.

14. Take a swing dance class with Tom

  • I need to do some research.

15. Read at least one fun book a month and one professional development book every three months

  • This month I epically failed. I still am struggling through one book. I have a hard time giving a book up too, so hopefully I can get through it this month.

16. Take a pottery or stained glass class

  • None of the classes here on base fit into our schedule lately.

17. Do one new recipe each month

  • This is new.

18. See both a Clemson and UCM football game live

  • I don’t think this will happen in the fall seeing as Little Guy will just have been born.

19. Find a place to volunteer on a regular basis

  • I volunteered to be the POC (Point of Contact) for Tom’s platoon. This is a position within the Family Readiness Group. How I have understood it the position is just part of a phone tree within the unit and helps disseminate information. I have the training for it next week, so I am sure I will find out more there.

20. Go hiking

  • Someday…

21. Ride in a hot air balloon

  • Girl’s Day some time in the future.

22. Go to at least 20 “new to me” restaurants. (8/20)

  • I actually did quite a bit on this one. My dad was in town a couple weeks ago. We went to O’Charley’s where I chowed down on some steak. We also checked out a mexican restaurant that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of. It wasn’t my favorite one in town so there’s that. I also went to a place called Cootie Brown’s in Johnson City. I was having some serious morning sickness, so I did not enjoy this meal at all. The pizza’s however looked amazing and large! Tom and I also found a little cafe INSIDE one of the thrift stores we went to this past weekend. Totally a random and unplanned stop, but Miss Lucille’s Cafe was adorable. And their chocolate covered cheesecake was pretty amazing.

23. Stay at a bed and breakfast

  • Nothing.

24. Spend a day without electronics (phone, t.v. and computer)

  • Hoping to do this summer.

25. Have a Kentucky Derby themed 3oth birthday party.

  • I have started pinning things like crazy on my party board on Pinterest.

26. Explore Nashville while we live here

  • I have been driving to Nashville every couple weeks for the past 2 months, but seeing as it is for doctor’s appointments, it doesn’t count. We will need to work on this one.

27. Watch at least 10 movies that I have not seen before that won Best Picture at the Oscars and at least 20 documentaries (not necessarily Oscar winning) Movies (0/10); Documentaries (4/10)

  • Nothing.

28. Sew an item of clothing from scratch

  • Maybe I will make myself a maternity jersey knit skirt…

29. Do a personal devotional/bible study

  • I really want to do better at reading my bible. I have an app on my phone that sends me a verse daily. I have added this to my prayer journal reflection every day. I want to find a good devotional too. This is basically focusing on my personal spiritual walk a little more.

30. Be a mascot for an event

  • I have no idea where this came from, but I have wanted to be a mascot for so long! I just think it would be so much fun.
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This is the closest I have ever gotten. On my last day at Worlds of Fun, my partner and I “found” the character closet. Since they wouldn’t allow me to be one since I am too tall, I just tried on the head for size.

31. Go on our honeymoon (preferably somewhere tropical)

  • Due to life circumstances, Tom and I have never went on a honeymoon. We have tentatively planned to do it around our 5 year anniversary.

32. Host an annual NCAA Basketball Tournament Championship game party

  • My parents have thrown a party for the tournament championship game for as long as I can remember. It was something my brother and I looked forward to every year growing up. We got to stay up late, eat junk food and low country boil all night long, and be in charge of the betting pools. My brother still goes over every year, and I have made it back home for a couple since I have moved away. I don’t think we will end up in KC, so I would like to carry on this Glinn tradition wherever we go to. I love me some basketball, and Tom loves hosting, so it should mix well once we have a place!

33. Go on a mission trip

  • I went on these through middle school and high school, and it was very enlightening. I would love to get involved with a youth group and be a leader this time around. This one is very dependent on a lot of timing and money, but I want to make it happen.

34. Be on a recreation volleyball team

  • I was on a team while I was in Iowa, and I loved it. I really want this back in my life for so many reasons. Unfortunately, the Ft. Campbell/Clarksville area does not agree with me and has none to offer.

35. Become a mom

  • Little bean is doing so well. He was jumping and dancing around at this week’s appointment. Hard to believe I am already 4 months pregnant!

My Introvert Confessions

I went to a conference last week for work (yay for finding some money for the part-timer). Conferences always bring out the introvert in me FULL force. It takes a lot out of me to be around people all.the.time. I stayed at home most of the weekend indulging in my current Netlix addiction and crocheting to deal with 3 days worth of people.

I have seen these elsewhere, but I figured I would put my own spin on introvert confessions. Some are similar but with my own thoughts. Please note that these may not apply to all introverts, but you may seem a theme.

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She pretty much is me any another life right? At least, I would like to think so.

First before I go into my confessions, let me briefly explain introverts and extroverts. It is from the Myers-Briggs personality test. The two indicators of extrovert and introvert refer to how/where a person draws their energy. In simple terms, extroverts draw energy from people or outer stimulation. Introverts draw energy from within, so lots of reflection and private time is a must to recharge. If you still don’t understand the difference just Google it; there are tons of sites to explain it.

Here are my Introvert Confessions:

1. Just because I am a hermit some days does not make me anti-social. It just means that I have been TOO social lately. I have seen it explained as selectively social. I also feel that our society has put an emphasis on the perception of extroverts as being a sought after personality, which makes us introverts seem awkward and loners. I am here to say we have so much to contribute if you just let us have our time.

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2. I can be spontaneous, as long as I have advanced notice to prepare. Tom and I have issues with this all the time with our social calendar. If you were not aware, my husband is an extrovert. It makes our life interesting. It is sometimes hard for him to understand that I have to prep myself for most social situations. And then I feel bad for holding him back…it’s a vicious cycle we lead.

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3. And that is because small talk is not my thing. I want to know your life story and go for coffee in a quiet space. If there are large groups of people, I have no idea how to contribute, and I think too much of what my contribution will be. I don’t like to focus on a large group because I want to connect with each person individually and that is hard to do in groups and with small talk. So unless it is a more intimate situation, I will more like stay quiet. Sometimes my profession takes a lot out of me with programs and many group settings.

4. Dear Hairdresser, dentist, and person sitting next to me on the airplane:  just because I can’t go anywhere doesn’t mean I want to talk to you. I like having an escape route, and you leave me no option when you talk to me. And really why is the dentist trying to have a conversation with me anyway?

5. I embrace my introvertness, but I don’t like being made to feel awkward or feel like an outcast because I am asking for space. There are people who have made me embarrassed and ashamed of needing to stay home or throw it in my face that I missed out on something. Trust me, you missed out on crazy-drained-angry Stephanie. So just get over that I may not approach you in a crowded room or that I may want to stay in more than I want to stay out. These are the things I wish everyone knew about introverts, or me really.

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6. My ideal “social” night is with one to four friends. More than that makes me feel uneasy. UNLESS, I know each of you really well. I like to be able to give all my attention and be intentional about the conversations we have. I want to let you into my inner circle, but I feel that we can only do that one on one or in a small groups, not at the club.

7. I am always thinking:  thinking of what I said (5 minutes and 5 days ago), what I would have said, and how to prepare myself with what to say. I also try to anticipate and analyze what other people are saying. This is the plight of most introverts. I think we get lost in our thoughts and expend our energy on this instead of being spontaneous with the masses. I feel like this picture depicts how I am taking everything in…

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8. Just because I am not talking, doesn’t mean I am in a bad mood or that I don’t like you. I am in observation mode. Again, I am probably trying to think of something clever to say…or I have been around people too long and am beginning to shut down.

9. I hate it when people say “Introverts are shy.” This is not a given. Around certain people, I am not. This is because I have let you in my inner circle, and we have had time to get to know each other. (Or I am on the job. I can put a good woo face on if need be.) In new situations, I can be shy. It just takes me some time to open up and feel comfortable. Again, the small talk is what gets me down. Anyway, shy and introverts are not two describers that are exclusively related.

 

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10. I love being an introvert. I feel that it makes me very self-aware. I can read my limits fairly quickly and know when I need to take a step back. I have learned to be vocal and not ashamed of needing my me-time. A lot of interaction will leave me exhausted and drained. I don’t perform at my best when I have been around people too long, so I have to have time EACH day to just be me. I feel that this makes it much easier for me to create balance because I can acknowledge and explain my personality.

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Fun Introvert fact, there are a lot of famous introverts.

Such as:  Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Clint Eastwood, Tom Hanks, Steve Martin, Matt Lauer, Diane Sawyer, and Barbara Walters.

Are you an introvert? Do you have any confessions to add? Are you an extrovert? Do you have thoughts on introverts?

Buy Me Some Peanuts and Cracker Jacks

Well personally, I want a big hot dog and a soft pretzel when I am at a baseball game, but that’s neither here nor there.

We love baseball in our house, which I am sure you noticed with our pregnancy announcement.

Opening day was today, and we are so pumped to have our beloved Royals back!

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Tom was so pumped to get a camo KC hat!

Unfortunately, being a Royals fan comes with a lot of pain. We lost our first game today to the Tigers.

But never fear, the season is long! And I am sure we will bounce back!

We are not fair weather fans in this house!

I grew up in KC, and my mom’s house was down the street from the stadium. Many weekends we spent in the parking lot riding our bikes and watching fireworks on Fridays.

My brother and I collected baseball cards like it was our job there for a time.

We ate ice cream and applesauce out of our beloved small plastic baseball caps.

You just love the men in blue when you grow up in KC. And luckily I married a man who also loves my Royals, despite where he grew up being mostly Cardinals fans. He knows where the true sportsmanship is!

Our wedding was also unintentionally in Royals colors. Tom’s favorite color is blue and mine is yellow. That is how we picked out our wedding colors, and we soon then realized that we had matched our Royals.

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I have had so much fun over the years watching games. The Royals fans and the stadium atmosphere are top notch.

We stand behind our team no matter what.

The games are fairly cheap, and they do a great job entertaining between innings and pitches. It really is a fun time. Plus they have lots of give aways, so generally you are guaranteed some swag when you go. I can’t wait to live closer to take advantage of T-shirt Tuesdays!

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Some of my Iowa favorites reuniting at the game

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I had one of my bachelorette parties at a game. Seriously a fan, and I won’t hold it against my sister-in-law (pictured here) that she roots for the wrong Missouri team.

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My best friend and other half with their men, my mom, and my sister-in-law. They were keeping me distracted while Tom was on one of his Army adventures.

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This was at an I-Cubs game in Des Moines, but they were playing the Royals farm team. So obviously we came decked out in blue!

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My best friend and other half (two different people folks)

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My dad and step mom at a game.

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One of the fortunate things of my undergrad was that it was close enough to make it to some games with college friends one in awhile.

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Match made in heaven with our fandom!

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I think this was opening day one year with my Best Friend and Slugger!

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My brother and I at a game. See wedding colors?

Tom and I were both born in 1985 when the Royals won the World Series. We were born to be Royals fans. So we are hoping that little birthing luck will be passed down to our Little Guy, and this will be a good year for our boys in blue.

If you were not aware, Lorde’s song “Royals” was inspired by the MLB Royals player George Brett. She saw a picture of him in a Royals t-shirt, and the rest of her fame is history. So it is only appropriate that someone in KC made a parody.

Do you watch baseball? Who is your team? Have you ever experienced a baseball game at the K?