Man Blog

Tom has been wanting me to do a post on his Jeep work for a long time. I figured why not just let him take over the blog for a day. So without further ado, the rest of this is written by Tom. Enjoy the big dose of “Talks with Tom.”

I’m sure we have all read the story of how we found out about George. Unfortunately, the second half of the story is less romantic. Shortly after leaving the Fertility Clinic, the magic of downtown faded into 5:30 pm, Friday traffic, in downtown Nashville, on Valentine’s day. Even taking all of this into account, I was still having an exciting day. As we sat at a stoplight, I looked down a half mile of still cars. Then, I hear the beep. It is the soul crushing beep of the “CHECK GAUGES” alarm 90’s Jeep owners know all too well. Before we take this any further, you should get to know me and my beautiful 99 XJ limited. Maybe just understand the XJ as a whole.

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The day we brought her home.

One of the most reliable and rugged vehicles ever made is the Jeep Cherokee XJ. Not the Grand Cherokee, not the new Cherokee, the XJ, the original. In 1984, Jeep introduced a new, smaller SUV. The XJ sported a unibody frame that allowed it to be extremely light and flexible, but still be strong enough to handle serious trail riding. What followed was a legendary vehicle that would be in production until 2001. So why do I love it so much? The biggest reason is the 4.0 inline 6 motor. Most motors are made of steel or aluminum. When steel gets hot, it warps. This is what causes the common issue of cracked head gaskets. Aluminum is light, but cracks under pressure, requiring a new motor completely. The Jeep 4.0 is made of iron:  minimal warping and cracking. What this means to me is that I can run it hard, climb rocks, drive through ice water, and run it full bore into mud that is waist deep and she will keep on ticking. Add in the outstanding drive train that is the NP242 transfer case and you have quite a formidable trail rig. Mine is lifted, with slightly bigger and more aggressive tires. When I said flexible, I meant it.

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It truly is a testament to American quality in the 80’s and 90’s. It is an icon from a time when we built amazing things that lasted forever. Forever, you say? Yea, forever. I spend less on parts every year than some of you pay for insurance in a 60 day period. I do the work myself. That being said, she runs like a top at 226k miles. And before you go and think “But Tom, what about comfort”? I do have tons of room, A/C, and 6 way power seat. Did I mention they are heated seats? Well, they’re pretty awesome in the winter. Everything else you need to know about the XJ can be found in this short instructive video about it’s iconic influence.

Back to our story. Jeep owners as a whole know that, although not expensive, Jeeps require a good amount of maintenance. My Jeep had overheated before, but never this bad. As we sat in traffic, she jumped from 220 which is a bit high but still normal, to 250, and it happened quick. My biggest fear was that she would lock up in the middle of Friday traffic. It doesn’t help that people from the city can’t drive. Yea, I get it, you drive aggressive and think the urban landscape has turned you into a pro, but city folks can’t go a day without turning any downtown area into a soup sandwich. I wasn’t doing well. I made it out of the jam by doing what Jeep folks do, I went around. Stephanie navigated me to an Autozone. We arrived just in time for the motor to shut its self down. First thought, thermostat. But, if you’re smart, you were thinking that too. So we spent our magical night, our first day preggers, in the parking lot of an auto parts store putting in a new thermostat. Not only was it freezing rain, but we were also in less than admirable part of town. When I asked the parts clerk how dangerous the location was, he said “Not bad, maybe 8 out of 10.” Whatever, not Afghanistan. I cruised into that McDonald’s in shorts and flip flops like I owned the place.

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We had our celebratory “We are pregnant” meal at that McDonald’s…

Long story short, over the next few weeks I swapped out the belts, hoses, water pump, electric fan, fan clutch, and shroud. Thanks to some help from the folks at EBAY, I did it on the cheap side. Despite my best efforts, I still found myself overheating regularly. The time came for a new radiator. Rather than the half plastic single core radiator that came original, I chose to go with an all aluminum radiator built for competitive trail rigs.

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Old and New radiators

As with all projects, it SHOULD have gone easily. The first step is to remove, well, pretty much the whole front end.

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Be prepared to be covered in oil. The Jeep radiators had an oil cooler built in. As luck would have it, the fittings were permanently affixed to the old one and didn’t come with the new one. As it was 8:30 at night, and I had to work the next day, this realization was accompanied with a lot of panic. I may have peed a little, but that’s none of you business. I’m kind of offended you even brought it up. I took the wife-mobile and the new radiator to the parts store and spent the next hour on the floor trying out brass fittings until I just decided to cut of the old metal oil lines and replace them with rubber ones. I finally made it home and, as luck would have it, I stripped out the inlet on the oil cooler twice before I finally got it to seat on the last few threads. After applying a liberal amount of gasket sealer, she was ready to install. The re-assembly went very quickly given that it was already midnight. I anxiously tightened the last few bolts, and then started my girl and waited for her to explode.

I hadn’t been able to drive more than a few miles without a problem in a long time. It was terrible seeing the Jeep I was so proud of, that I had put so much into, struggle to make it down the street. That Jeep really is a huge part of who I am. It represents me as a person. She is tough and capable. She adapts to every situation. For me, my Jeep is the best way to explain why Stephanie and I are so happy together. Yes, there are hard times. Things break. At times being a Jeep owner is very frustrating. But when you are committed, you do what you have to do. Simply put, a Jeep is a clear example of a time when you fixed things rather than threw them away. I grew up in a family that lives by this mantra. As I write this my dad is having a new carburetor put on the tiller he bought the year my parents got married. Both have been running strong for 38 years. With proper maintenance, of course.

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It’s been 25 years and my comb-over is still stunning.

As I cruised down the street, white knuckles on the wheel, I prayed that this time she was fixed. I ran light for a bit, and then parked to check. No leaks, no smoke, no overheating. As I ran her hard up and down the road, she stayed cool and ran smooth. Since then she runs like she’s new. The next week I drove the XJ to Nashville for the first time since Valentine’s Day and, this time at least, she ran like a champ. It just goes to show you. Sometimes things get difficult. Everything breaks at some point, and the things you care about fall apart in front of you. It’s those moments that, with a little know how and a commitment to what’s important to you, you can fix just about anything.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mom’s out there!

I have a great Mom, just the best you could ask for.

I also had a step-mom from the time I was 5, who provided additional love along the way.

These two women were instrumental in making me the woman I am today. I learned a lot from each of them.

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The picture on the left is my mom and I sometime during college. The picture on the right is my step-mom and I when I was 5 or 6.

I could go on and on about the memories and the lesson learned, but I would assume they are somewhat similar to most things that mom’s teach everyone.

So thanks Mom and Risa for all the you did/do to put up with us growing up and supporting us along the way.

Happy Day to all the mothers and women who are influences in our lives whether by blood or by choice!

 

Letter to My 9 Year Old Self

Dear 9 year old Stephanie,

Today is our birthday! It’s your ninth in the year 1994, and my 29th in 2014. I know that this is a big birthday for you since it is our golden birthday but also the last year in the single digits!

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Yes this is us right before our 9th birthday party. I am not sure why we thought that pose was necessary.

Seeing as I have 20 years of “Stephanie” life on you, I thought I would give you some birthday advice as you grow a little year older.

You are about to end 3rd grade. The next two years of school happen to be your favorite. While we have always wanted to be a teacher, Mrs. Daily and Mrs. Absher inspire you to become an elementary school teacher down the road. They were some of the best educators we have ever had. You will go back for years to visit and even volunteer for Mrs. Absher in high school. I will tell you that at 29, we are still in education, but our teaching is not happening in an elementary school. We spent one semester as an elementary major before we changed to high school, which is still not what we are doing. But I will let you figure that out as we go. That journey is a pretty good one, so I won’t spoil it.

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That art behind you is not yours, but that award is all yours. Yea we are awesome.

Speaking of what we want to do, college is already on your mind, which is good. You are smart. To our detriment at times, we put really high standards on ourselves to be perfect. There are times that we could have relaxed when it came to school things, but we both know that is not how we work. And from me to you, that hard work pays off in the end. We graduated high school with a 4.0, and were able to pay for two complete college degrees all with scholarships because of that hard work and dedication. I am pretty thankful now to have zero debt because of that determination. We are taking our time to relax now, don’t you worry. We may have only applied to one school for college, but in the end it was the best decision because your life changed for the better because of that choice. Your change of career path was a good thing that was all made because of experiences during college. You met some of the most influential people there, and I would like to think that decision led you to your future husband.

At 9, I know we saw our life at my age to be a glorious one. We would be married with two kids and a career in teaching. We would not be married to a cop that is for sure, but probably another teacher, because that is how our parents did it. I will just say that life is all about the unexpected, so don’t get dead set on really anything. None of it happens the way we planned, but that is part of the fun.

Career wise, I would say we are not in a place that we ever imagined. While we don’t regret ANY of the decisions that we made to get to this place, we just had hoped for different circumstances that are way beyond our control. There are some good and bad days, and there are a lot of days that you will feel completely helpless and alone. I would say keep on trucking with our positive attitude, because in the end we can only affect our own reaction to what is put in front of us. We are however learning a lot. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, and I just know that our career is going to be making some very positive changes here soon. Our career may not have been the priority recently and we aren’t in a position of our dreams, God had other reasons for us to be here right now. Eventually you will see that, so just breathe and let the worry go, you perfectionist. Take every opportunity to learn and grow because you never know what doors it may open or what God is trying to put on your heart. And always trust that God will provide. Always.

There are going to be some rough times ahead in school. In the next year alone, there will be a week that you come down with poison ivy ALL OVER your body, and it also happens to coincide with the week we do square dancing in gym class. You think that you are living out a real life Oregon Trail moment because no one will pick you to be your partner, and you feel left behind. Trust me, I doubt that most people even remember you look like something out of a horror film. You get past it. Also we have not had poison ivy since. So there’s that.

Sorry to break it to you, but you will never be popular. I think we are just too quiet for that, plus we never really liked the spotlight anyway. There are days that you spend hours crying over the fact that we aren’t cool. I wish I could say don’t do that, but I think it always hurts no matter the age to not feel wanted. You get picked on for being a nerd until you graduate high school. I won’t lie that there are some awful days, which fortunately worked out for us because it only fueled you to study more and work harder to move away to college. And college became a great escape from high school because there was only 6 from our graduating class that attended our school. So just keep on trucking, it gets better.

More on friends though, while you may look at the popular kids and want what they have, you are surrounded by some of the greatest friends. You were in a good group, who happened to be just as nerdy as you. So it worked out for you in the end. In the fourth grade, you meet a boy that you hate in elementary school. He seems like the meanest kid to you because he calls you “Sassafras.” (It’s no wonder we were in the nerd crowd.) To your surprise though, eventually you all become very close, and he was one of your best friends in high school. So cool your jets on this kid.

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The creator of Sassafras and you are still friends to this day. So don’t be so worried about who aren’t your friends, but be appreciative of who ARE your friends.

Even at 9 years old, which is five years after Mom and Dad got divorced, it is still sometimes hard to live the double life with both parents. But try to look at the positives you gain from it:  double the holidays which means double the food, double the love, double the experience from different lifestyles. Your parents love you, and only want what is the best for you. There are days we don’t treat them the greatest because we feel like we have something to prove. It takes us a long time to tell them I am sorry, which is something I wish I could change. Just make sure to try to include them the best that you can. The path we choose is to not live near our family, so enjoy this time you have with them now because there is a long stretch that there are hours and states that separate you. And plus you have a lot to learn from our parents because here on our 29th birthday, I sit here anxiously awaiting to become a parent myself in 4 months.

Not only is your time limited with them, but our grandparents as well. Luckily our career choice in education eventually take us to South Carolina which is where Grandma Ruth and Grandpa Christmas live. You get to spend two years practically in the same town. Take the time to eat meals with them (no matter how many times they insist on taking you to the Western Sizzler) because soon after you graduate they will no longer be with us. So cherish that time you have with them because it is something that becomes very dear to you. And your grandparents in KC, visit them as often as you can because they are just the best role models of a loving couple and human beings. And as I said, we soon move far away and are not able to see them quite as often as you do now.

And as for Randall, you are getting to the point where he is probably becoming more obnoxious than cute little brother. I know that he comes and takes things from your room or does other little boy things to you, but trust me, he is not as bad as he gets the rap for (which lets be honest comes mostly from us…). Give him a break. And surprise, he becomes a parent before you do!

I mentioned earlier that you meet your husband in college. At 9, I know you are wanting to know what sort of fairy tale story got us to our knight in shining armor. First, you must know that there are a lot of other boys who came first. (Ok not a lot a lot, but a few.) Some of those relationships will be devastating. There are a couple boys that you thought at the time you would never get over. When we fall in love, we fall in love hard. Remember to be who you are, and never change your ambitions to fit that of someone else. There are some relationships that you go into hastily just because you want to be loved. I promise you that if you are patient, love will find you. I will also say that it will be by someone who blindsides you. So don’t go for the obvious, find someone who will challenge you every day, but also someone who supports you completely. Also humor is important. Your future husband is one of the funniest people you will ever meet. Basically he is a dreamboat, so again just be ready for the unexpected. Love is a great thing. You will experience all the ups and downs and variations of love before you happen upon your great love. So just remember that a guy doesn’t make you who you are, you do. So just move past each crushing break up and remember who you want to be. (Also, you break some hearts too if that helps your confidence any. But now that I think about it, generally, we took these hard too because we are people pleasers…)

All in all, you have a fun life ahead. There are going to be some really high highs, and some really low lows. Always remember to believe in yourself and be good to others. Although, don’t worry too much about being a perfectionist and what others think of you because it can become a burden more than a blessing, and there are times that you may lose sight of who you are.

Continue writing thank you notes and creating things.  That peach crochet blanket that you have been struggling with for 2 years…yea crochet becomes quite the hobby for you someday. Also, most of the art in your house will be homemade, which your husband and I think is pretty swell. Continue reading as much as you can. Stories are your escape in so many ways. Anne of Green Gables never gets old so read and watch it as much and as often as you can. You will always be a bookwork. Keep on asking for the American Girl doll and books. I know it seems like the parents aren’t listening, but eventually, you get to hold one of those dolls as your very own. And yes, we still have her and all her accessories almost 20 years later.

In the end, count your blessings and thank God every day. Focus on the things that matter and enjoy each moment to the fullest. Trust that God has a plan for you, and just keep moving forward and laugh a lot. Smiling generally makes things better.

And if all of this didn’t get you excited about the next 20 years, at least you have this to look forward to next year…

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I promise being this orange bird was one of your favorite moments of 4th grade.

Now go enjoy some of our favorite ice cream cake (the one with the extra ice cream cones on the top) and get ready for the traditional Glinn rendition of “Happy Birthday,” which by the way has not stopped to this day.

All the best,

29 year old Stephanie

Whitener Wednesday-Our First Year

Welcome back to the next part of Tom and I’s love story. I left off last week with how Tom and I met at Worlds of Fun in 2007.

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Our first year together can be described in one word: bliss.

It was the perfect year.

When Tom and I met, he was taking a semester sabbatical from school to focus on working. He was a little lost with his life, and work was the only enjoyable thing for him. He gave me the liberty to say here that I was the reason he went back to school that fall. Yes I am that awesome folks.

So we were both seniors at the University of Central Missouri, and our apartments were mere minutes from each other.

I was doing my student teaching and graduated that fall. Tom pressed on to finish his criminal justice degree. I stayed in Warrensburg after graduation for another semester knowing that I would start a grad program in the fall. I had the illustrious career that spring of working at a gas station and as a administrative assistant at a dance studio. It was great to still be in our college town with my best friends and boyfriend for a few more months before I started traveling the country.

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We just lived it up as we continued to grow further in love. Our life was fairly typical for a college couple.

He went with me to Phi Sigma Pi functions. We went to parties. We stayed in and watched movies and played lots of rummy. We ate scads of Chinese food at our favorite buffet. We had the world at our fingertips. (And all that love sick mumbo jumbo)

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He got along with my friends, and I with his.

We were just on cloud 9 that year.

It did not take us that long to realize love was the feeling, and that there was a long future ahead of us.

(If you didn’t guess it already, I had crumbled the beast exterior, and now Tom could see marriage and kids in our future.)

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While on the surface as a fairly odd couple (me being the nerdy shy gal and him being the boisterous fearless guy), we managed to have it all that year.

This was the same year, I started searching for grad schools. None of them were in the state of Missouri where Tom would continue to be.

So we had to have a serious conversation as I applied to assistantships and various programs to decide if we could handle long distance for two years. It boiled down to two serious offers that meant two very different futures for us.

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What would each place look like for us?

Depending on where I went, there could be months in between seeing each other. We talked about engagements and if he could follow me after he graduated during my second year or possibly third year of grad school.

In the end, I chose to go to Clemson, which also happened to be the farthest school from MO that I applied to. Nothing like challenging our relationship to the max.

The decision was to do long distance for two years, and then figure out the rest as it came.

At this point, I was ready for Tom to propose. This however did not happen before I left.

That summer before I left for South Carolina, we both lived in Kansas City. Tom worked in the downtown district, while I finished my last season at Worlds of Fun.

We made the most of that summer and tried to not count the days until the long distance began.

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The picture on the left is about a month after we started dating. The picture on the right is a year later right before I left for Clemson.

We had grown so much together during that year. We were sure we were ready for what lied ahead.

Come back next week to read about the first long distance portion of our relationship.

It’s a Wonderful Whitener Wednesday

Tom and I met about 7 years ago, and we are about to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary this summer. Our time as just a duo is quickly coming to an end, so I thought I would celebrate the last 7 years each Wednesday leading up to our anniversary. Every Wednesday I will tell just a small fraction of our love story and how we made it to where we are now. A little bit of focusing on us before George gets here!

So here is the first Whitener Wednesday and the story of how we met.

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No we didn’t meet in a water ride, but it was very close.

It was 2007 and the start of a new season at Worlds of Fun, which is an amusement park in Kansas City.

I was a Rides Supervisor and Tom was a Park Ranger.

Our department offices were right next to each other.

Tom came in to talk with some of the other rides supervisors that he knew, and I happened to be in the office.

My first impression of Tom was that he was fearless and not at all shy. He was/is one of those guys who can talk to anyone and knows how to work a room. And as you can see with “Talks with Tom” he has a one of a kind sense of humor.

Unbeknownst to me, Tom did some recon (stalked me) and found out which rides were in my area of supervision. For the next month, he found reasons to show up at ride calls so we could have a “chance” meeting.

He friended me on Facebook and started a Facebook poke war. (Those were the days huh?)

We both had been semi-dating other people at the time, but neither of us were serious or had committed to relationships with those people. We were both 22 when we met and were at the time of our lives where we were having a good time seeing what was out there.

So then came the night he asked me out.

We were always there late doing our supervisory duties, so it was well after the park had closed. I wasn’t surprised when he came in the office to chat, since he had found his way to our area quite often that summer. But the story after is one I will never forget.

Tom told me that he just pulled over my brother (who also worked at the park) for running a stop sign.

I thought he was joking so I just brushed it off, but then he was just so adorable because of the visible nerves he kept my interest. Nerves was not something I had ever seen in Tom.

He told me the full story of my brother going through a stop sign and the car coming up as my vehicle. (I had gotten the parking sticker for him). So Tom at first glance thought he was going to be catching the guy who stole my car. Jackpot right?

After he told me this whole story, he then spit gum at me as he asked me out to dinner.

From what I had seen from Tom in the past month I knew he was something special. He was different than any man I had dated before, so I was intrigued to see what I date would be like and finding out more about this Park Ranger outside of the park.

And I felt bad for him spitting gum at me, so I said yes. Hey it was at least a free meal right?

Then we had the date.

It was the best first date ever. The conversation just flowed naturally. There were laughs, and the nerves just melted away. There was just something different that neither of us could describe.

The funny thing about the date though was that Tom told me he didn’t really see himself getting married or having kids. And I told him that I would be moving in a year to go to grad school and had no intention of staying in Missouri. So with that, it didn’t really seem like we would ever get serious.

And obviously I wasn’t sure how I stood a chance when he often saw me looking like this:

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or this…

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Nothing like pocket protectors, bow ties, skorts, and brown tennis shoes and constantly being a hot sweaty mess to grab a guy. Oh and did I mention that I was wearing braces at the time? Real winner…

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Some days I did look half way decent in the Missouri humidity, but still that pocket protector…

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I don’t have any pictures of Tom his Park Ranger get-up. Let me tell you though, there was no surprise that I was attracted to that guy on bike patrol.

So while it may have seemed like there was no future for us, I continued to say yes to Tom’s dates. We were 22 and enjoying hanging out with each other. Plus as I said, there was just something I couldn’t describe pulling me towards him.

I mean he did have a vase full of flowers waiting in my office the day after our first date.

It was very soon after that we became exclusive and started our journey towards the couple we are today.

Come back next week to see how our relationship blossomed into something more serious than a summer romance.

Things have changed so much since that summer of 2007.