It’s Not You. It’s Me.

Rejection.

No one likes to be told, “I/We don’t want you.”

It is in our nature as humans to be wanted and needed.

Well this week, I felt another stab of rejection. I received another, “It’s not you, it’s me” kind of thank you for applying but we have found someone else notification.

In my head, though, I hear, “We have found someone better than you.”

After job searching continuously for 2 straight years (3 if you count the brief time that Tom and I were searching in Texas before he joined the Army), you get a little jaded on the job position rejections and having to start over…again

And this one hit a particular nerve knowing it was the last job I was going to go after here in TN.

You start to feel that there may be something wrong with you. You start to doubt your abilities and worth as a professional. You start to wonder if you are heading down the right path. You begin to regret all the energy and time spent preparing cover letters/resumes/detailed interview questions/all job garb. It’s hard not to be frustrated, angry, disappointed, bitter, downtrodden, embarrassed, insert all downer emotions here…

 I know I am a good professional, but when I got the news, I felt all the doubt and insignificance seep into my heart. This time though, I didn’t want to feel worthless.

So I let myself have a good wallowing moment and let some ok a lot of tears fall out of disappointment.

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After I let the dogs lick away my tears (which definitely happened), I was determined not to let these “We hired someone who isn’t you” moments define who I am.

(And really how can you be upset anymore after some good snuggles and kisses from these two?)

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I pulled out my Bible and started whipping through verses and stories about rejection and starting over.

I read and was reminded about countless “suddenly” moments that God had instigated changing the course of their lives as they knew it.

David was a shepherd boy, but he was suddenly tasked with taking care of Goliath and eventually became king.

Moses was just hanging out in the wilderness for several decades when suddenly a burning bush directed him to lead a nation.

Ruth, Peter, Paul, and more had second chances. They were given new starts to fulfill God’s plan for them.

The one that struck me the most was Genesis 37: 25-28. This is the passage that talks about Joseph (the “dreamcoat” one) and where his brothers abandoned him.

How could Joseph not feel rejection? He was sold into slavery by his OWN family. Talk about huge rejection!

This as we know, however, was all part of God’s plan for Joseph.

As painful as it is, I have to find satisfaction in God and what he has provided for me. I am awarded so much beauty in my life, and I have so much to be thankful for. It’s not about what I can’t have, it should be about what I do have.

I have no idea what God has in store for me. As much as the planner in me hates that, I will eagerly wait for the “suddenly” moment for me to understand what my next step will be. Who knows, maybe here soon I will understand this to be that moment. I have to be open to possibilities. Cliche maybe: as one door closes, another opens. Or find a window or some other exit strategy from my current situation.

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So for now, I will just agree with all the job-search-Stephanie haters. It is you, it’s not me.

I have to press in and press on.

So God, “What’s next?”

Simple Moments Stick

14 thoughts on “It’s Not You. It’s Me.

  1. You have such a great attitude! As I was reading your post I kept thinking about the story of Joseph, but the you mentioned him!!! Great minds think alike 😉 God has great plans in store for you. Trust that as each door closes, he has something much more wonderful planned for you.

  2. Stephanie, Thank you for opening up your heart and being vulnerable. I can so relate to your experiences. I can’t even count the number of applications I’ve completed since losing my job at SWU. Many times I felt sure I would get the position after a great interview only to be told they had selected someone else. I have learned more this year through rejection than I have from many years of acceptance. God has great plans for both you and me!

    • Haha I have lost count of the applications too. I would agree though about learning about myself through this time. There is a plan for everything! Thinking about you Beth!

  3. Job searching is one of the least fun things out there, but just think! Every time you get that rejection, it’s really just God saying “I have something better in mind”. Can’t wait to see the amazing plans He has for your career and your family! You have the best attitude!

    XOXO
    Chelsea
    http://www.anchorsaweighblog.com/

  4. I am so proud of you…and I thank God every day for you…You have achieved so much and I KNOW God has something great for you…keep praying…keep trusting…keep believing!!

  5. I can so relate to this. I love the job I have now, but it’s only part time with zero hours during the summer and it likely won’t transform into anything more now or after we move. It’s humbling thinking about applying for a retail job for the summer. It’s even more humbling when some of the places I’ve applied don’t even call me back.

    It sucks, but it is so true when everyone says that there is something better in store for you. When you look back and see the path your life made, it will all make sense. Right now, we only get to see a sliver of the picture, so all we know is the struggle. Hang in there!

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