February 12, 2016 by Stephanie

Bachelor Thoughts of the Week

Here is what I thought about this week’s episode.

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I am torn on the Olivia issue. On one hand I do get her perspective that she isn’t there to make friends. She is there for Ben. But on the other hand, it does make you wonder how she is with people in real social settings.
Leah’s meltdown.Really? No words.

This week makes me want to go back to the Caribbean so bad.

I am so confused by Caila’s one on one. There has to be a lot they didn’t show.

Tom thought we should have them fight sharks to see if they are really committed.

SWIMMING PIGS!!! This is the best date ever.

Becca is my favorite this week. She is just real and honest.

Leah back talking Lauren B. is just sad and pathetic. Where did that come from? Why is she surprised she is going home? She is lying to everyone. Karma sister friend.

So Olivia is the first to say “I love you” if we don’t count the Spanish lesson. And then she was crushed….Watching her face go from elated to heartbroken is what this show is made of. I really feel for her though. She just looks devastated, and then to make her watch Emily get the rose. I mean they just left her to just stand there staring at the ocean….

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I liked Lauren H, but I think there were obvious other people for him. Maybe she will be on Paradise.

Hopefully Lauren B. can clear the air here soon. I really enjoy her.

Ok did anyone else catch that Emily said she just met Ben’s parents. So does that mean she is one of the final two? Isn’t that usually how meeting the Bachelor’s parents goes? She was not who I thought would be in the final two.

My picks after this week are Becca and JoJo in the final two, with Caila and Lauren next.

Do you watch the show? What are your thoughts?

February 10, 2016 by Stephanie

Shift Work

I get asked all the time about Tom’s job. One of the main questions is “What shift is he on?”

There are some departments that have their officers permanently on a shift. Fortunately or unfortunately depending how you look at it, Tom’s department switches every month.

Typically, he works four days on and four days off. Sometimes it is five days on and three days off. They are all ten hour shifts. However, due to the nature of the job, sometimes the shift turn into 12+ hour shifts due to the calls.

So it feels like our schedule is always changing, which as a family can be hard to adjust to some days. It is also not a job that is M-F. He works weekends a lot. So even if we are on the same schedule we may not have the same days off. It is super fun to make plans. We have been trying to have some friends over for dinner for the past 6 months…

Do you want to know what I think the pros and cons are of every shift? If not, then you should probably go somewhere else today.

Most of these statements are family oriented, but the italicized are Tom’s thoughts on the cop side of things.

Let’s start with my favorite shift: the Day shift. This shift is from 6:45am-4:45pm.

Day Pros

Tom is home every evening. We get to eat dinner, do bedtime routines with George, hangout, and go to bed at the same time.
Tom can actually do Dad stuff and not be pressed for time to get ready for work. George is the most active in the evening, so they can actually interact.
Tom does George’s bath. I hate doing the bath, so it is nice that Tom likes to have that one on one time with Gdubs.
We have the same sleep cycle, so we aren’t interrupting each other. Even if he is up on the weekends for work, generally I am getting up at that time for George, so it’s not a huge bother.
I don’t have to cook for 1.5 people, so we have actually real meals.
Tom’s days off are more productive because they are a “normal” schedule to do errands or housework.
Tom likes to work day shift because there are a lot of people out so there is always a call or something to do. The shift goes by fairly quickly.
Tom also likes it because his sleep time isn’t ruined by court proceedings. Again this goes back to the day shift being a “normal” close to 9-5 schedule with the rest of the world.

Day Cons

Tom is super chipper when he wakes up. I need a lot of quiet time to warm up to the day. So unfortunately I am a little short and grumpy with him at times with my half-asleep self.
We get up within minutes of each other, so we have to take shorter showers to make sure we have enough hot water for each of our turns.
The dogs are alone a lot on this shift since we are both working at the same times. We have had very minimal issues since moving to this house, but it still is sad they are home alone a lot.
Because we are up at the same time, Tom and I end up eating breakfast together. This is normally when I do my daily devotional, so I rarely get this done because my lovely husband is a chatterbox and I get distracted.
Tom hates this shift because he hates the daylight. He has severe light sensitivity. Thank you Army.
Tom isn’t fond of this shift because it is really hard to be sneaky in a cop car when it’s light outside.
He also says that it takes forever to get anywhere in the cop car during the day even with lights and sirens because the traffic volume is so high.
Along with the traffic volume, it does make it harder to find bad guys.

Evening shift is the devil. It is our least favorite one, and I honestly don’t know how other people do this shift all the time. This shift is from 2pm-12am (Sun-Thurs), and Fri and Sat it is 4pm-2am. As you can see how that gets tricky when I am at work all day myself. But in the spirit of finding the good, I did come up with some positives for this shift.

Evening Pros

I get a lot of 1:1 time with George.
I have complete control over the remote
Tom always gets to work out with no rush to get home.
The work is a good mix between a high call volume (responsive calls) and self-initiated stops.
There is a lot of over time potential because of the timing of the shift and when things go awry.
We send goodnight selfies to Tom so he can still be part of our nightly routine. We have got some goodies. I should really put these all in an album.

Evening Cons

We can go 4 or 5 days without seeing each other. Granted there are nights that we talk to each other when Tom gets home between 2 or 4am, but let me remind you I am not the most engaging after being woken up. George literally will go a week without interacting with Tom. This will change some as he talks more and will be able to use the phone, but it is still hard when there is no face time for days on end.
On a related note, because he comes home when I am sleeping, usually I get woken by the sound of his boots on our wood floors or the dogs will inevitably bark at him trying to be a good security system. Tom then gets to sleep just a little before I wake up so I know George and I will interrupt his sleep with our morning routines.
Cooking for just myself and George is awful. Our food choices are pretty dismal during these weeks. George eats a lot of peanut butter sandwiches, and I have a lot of cereal. It is hard cooking for 1.5 people! Especially when one of them changes their food preferences every other minute.
Not to sound “woe is me,” but evenings are hard on me because I have no help in the parenting department when he is working. So where as on other shifts we can tag team, with this shift I am at it solo. Props to all the single parents out there.
I have to do George’s bath. I don’t know why I hate this activity, but it really stresses me out. And this kid needs a bath almost daily.

Midnight shift is not bad for George and I, and it is Tom’s favorite. The shift is from 9pm-7am.

Midnight Pros

We get to see each other every evening.
Most nights, Tom cooks dinner, and it is ready when we get home.
Tom still has time to do George’s bath as long as we stay timely.
Even though we get to have dinner together, once Tom goes to work and George is in bed, I still get some quality me time. Which is important for this introvert heart.
Also, I don’t have to share the bed with two dogs and a husband. The dogs generally will stay more on Tom’s side when he is working which is nice because they sometimes make me claustrophobic with their snuggling otherwise. They have to lay on top of me when Tom’s also in the bed.
The dogs are hardly every left alone since we are home at opposite times.
Tom is a night owl so this is the best shift for him with no daylight.
“Nothing good happens after midnight, unless you are a cop.”
Tom likes doing investigative police work instead of just all responses, and this shift leads to more time to do the self-initiated stuff.
The drugs.-Tom’s favorite thing to get off the street. They are more prevalent when it is dark outside.

Midnight Cons

When Tom is working on the weekends, George and I have a hard time staying quiet all day so he can sleep. We usually try to find stuff to do outside of the house, but it is hard to find free stuff in the dead of winter.
No one really understands his midnight schedule. The cable company will call at 2pm when he is sleeping. The mailman irritates the dogs while he is sleeping. The sun decides it wants to bath our bedroom in golden goodness while he is sleeping. So sleep is usually rough during this mouth because most of the world is inconsiderate to those who work nights.
Which leads into this statement-“You have tomorrow off right?” No he doesn’t have tomorrow off. He goes in at 9pm, gets off at 7am, then sleeps during the day to go back in tomorrow night at 9pm. Your day time is his sleep time which doesn’t mean he has it off to do your things.
God bless him, but on his days off Tom tries to cycle to our schedule so he can spend more time with George. (I have not asked him to do this. Tom just wants more family time.) Because he does this, he changes his cycle every couple of days which is hard on any body.
A slow night on midnights seem to be the longest days ever. They just drag on.

So there you have it. Just one couple’s perspective on cop life.

Changing shifts can be a little hard to manage. And I am sure that our pros and cons will change as George grows even though we may be more used to the life style.

I don’t think you ever really get used to being apart from your family. There are still a lot of things that Tom misses out on. I am not looking forward to the days when George is more aware of his absence and having to explain that. However, we have to be present and enjoy the times that he is off. And it does make for some pretty sweet moments.

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As always feel free to ask questions about our life as a law enforcement family. It is interesting to say the least!

February 9, 2016 by Stephanie

35 Before 35 Update

And just like that, January just faded away…Let’s see how I am doing on my list.

1. Crochet something else besides blankets or scarves at least once a year (~~2013~~, ~~2014~~, ~~2015~~, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020)

2. ~~Do a photography challenge (Took pictures once a week George’s first year)~~

It has only taken me six months, but I finally put all the pictures from this challenge together in a video.

3. ~~Visit 5 cities I have never been to before~~ (8/5)

4. ~~Tour at least one a winery, brewery, or distillery~~

5. Send at least 5 snail mail a month

6. ~~Become a “professional” photographer~~

7. Run at least 10 races (any distance) (5/10)

I have officially signed up for two 5Ks this spring!

8. Go camping with Tom

9. ~~Pay for the car behind me in a drive through~~

10. See Tyrone Wells live as many times as possible

11. ~~Tour Fort Defiance here in Clarksville~~

12. ~~Water ski with my dad~~

13. Do a 5K with my mom

14. Take a swing dance class with Tom

15. Read at least one fun book a month and one professional development book every three months

16. Take a pottery or stained glass class

17. Do one new recipe each month

Million Dollar Spaghetti-This was ok in my book. I think it needed more sauce. Tom raved about it, and wants me to make it every day.
Spaghetti Squash Chow Mein-This was also ok. I don’t think I had a big enough squash for the soy sauce ratio. It came out really salty. I did add chicken to it afterwards, and that really cut that down. I will make this again to try to get the ratio right.
Sausage Breakfast Muffins-These were super super easy to make. Everyone loved these.
Roasted Veggies-This was Tom’s comment when I put these on his plate. “Um so you ruined these but in the best way. They are crunchy and salty.” I told him they were supposed to be like that. It was a good change of pace off our normal steamed veggie routine. And it is super easy to put in the oven while you are cooking everything else for dinner.

18. See both a Clemson and UCM football game live

19. ~~Find a place to volunteer on a regular basis~~

20. Go hiking

21. Ride in a hot air balloon

22. ~~Go to at least 20 “new to me” restaurants.~~ (30/20)

A friend and I went to Harpo’s for lunch. Typical bar food, but the ambiance reminded me of TD’s in Clemson. Missing Tigertown just a little.

23. ~~Stay at a bed and breakfast~~

24. Spend a day without electronics (phone, t.v. and computer)

25. Do something unique and new for my birthdays

26. ~~Explore Nashville while we live here~~

27. Watch at least 10 movies that I have not seen before that won Best Picture at the Oscars and at least 20 documentaries (not necessarily Oscar winning) Movies (3/10); Documentaries (7/20)

28. Sew an item of clothing from scratch

29. ~~Do a personal devotional/bible study on my own~~

30. Be a mascot for an event

31. Go on our honeymoon (preferably somewhere tropical)

32. Host an annual NCAA Basketball Tournament Championship game party

33. Go on a mission trip

34. ~~Be on a recreation volleyball team~~

35. ~~Become a mom~~

I apparently did not do so hot this month besides cooking. However, getting that video done has been on my list since August, so that is something!

February 4, 2016 by Stephanie

Not Every Day is a Good Day

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There are days that I am gripping the kitchen sink trying not to let the anger steam out of my mouth because of the piles of dishes that have stacked up yet again.

There are days that I am fuming because the dogs want to go outside every five minutes and bark incessantly to chase down the mailman, the neighbor, or the leaf that threatened to knock down our house.

There are days that I have no patience for George’s temper tantrum over the fact that I tried to help him peel a banana so he could eat more of it (which he was also crying about not being able to eat more of because the peel was in the way).

There are days that I look back and think, “Well that could have gone better.”

I am learning every day that I have no clue what I am doing as a parent. Like zero.

There are days that I feel utterly lost, and I raise my voice more often than I would care to admit to the dogs and to George.

I feel an enormous pressure to be this perfect mom, which I understand is unrealistic, but I feel that is the time we live in. With all the comparison and articles surfacing on social media saying you should do this or that to be the best parent, it can be really degrading to look back at some of these moments where I have lost my cool.

You know what? I am sick of it. I am sick of feeling this guilt because I had one bad moment. I am sick of someone who doesn’t know me writing an article or making a comment online that I am not a good parent because I raised my voice a few times.

I am sick of ME telling myself that I am not good enough.

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I think all we can do in this world is try, and then learn from those moments, and try to do better the next time.

I am trying to make the most of the time I am with George, but every day isn’t going to be sunshine and roses. I think we can do our best to have good days, but we also have to accept that every day cannot be perfect and go as planned. Parents are not perfect. God gave us kids to remind us of that I think. So why do we expect ourselves to be perfect every day?

God gives us trials for a reason.

Parenting can be a trial some days. They don’t just stare at you and coo sweet sounds forever. They grow up and try to put forks in sockets and hit the dogs with a baby swifter after dumping their milk all over the floor in a span of five minutes.

Parenting is beautiful yet messy, complicated yet natural, lovely yet trying, empowering yet terrifying, and oh so humbling.

While every day isn’t going to be a good day, I don’t have to let those days define me as a mom. I don’t have to let those moments limit the type of mom I hope to be.

Because the reality is there are a lot of good days. (It’s funny how one bad day can cloud up the dozens of good days.)

Regardless of the how we define the day, every moment I am proud to be his mom. And that right there (coupled with this sweet smile) is what makes me wake up every morning determined to have a good day.

February 1, 2016 by Stephanie

February Goals

This last month was crazy busy, but we accomplished a lot. I really like doing these monthly goals, so let’s see how I did with January before I share my February ones.

Fitness-Do 1500 squats-I got a little behind, so I had to do several hundred yesterday. Over 300 squats is no joke. I didn’t really notice a difference in my leg tone over all, but it was a great start to the year to be focused on my health.

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House Tasks-
- Take down Christmas decor-Done.
- Organize/Put away George’s clothes he has outgrown-Done. Three bins worth are now in storage and two boxes to donate. Admittedly he does have a lot of clothes, but this is also clothes/shoes dating back to the 3-6 month stage. Ridiculous.
- Sort/Donate toys-They are sorted, and I have a couple bags that are ready to get taken somewhere for donation. However we had Christmas presents take over those spaces. Why are toddler things so big?

Something with George-Do finger-painting. He hated it. He put his finger in it once, grimaced, then tried to run away. It turned into a horrifying slip and slide for him. Even when we tried showing him it was pudding and he could eat it, he screamed like this was his worst nightmare.

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Something with Tom-Start watching Parks and Rec-We are a few episodes in, and we are loving it so far. It does remind me a lot of the Office. Unfortunately these days, I can’t get through more than one episode without falling asleep.
Something for me-Do a mommy and me photo shoot-It may have not gone exactly as planned, but we did get some shots. And they are still sitting in my camera. I haven’t had time to get them on my hard-drive yet. My goal is to share them soon!

I did everything on my list! Now here are my February Goals

Fitness-200 push ups. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but I am going to try to do a larger set every other day, which is a lot for my puny arms.
House Tasks-
- Hang up photos in dining room and our bedroom
- Clean up the yard-We have a lot of big plans for our yard this summer, but the first step is to get rid of all the sticks and leaves that have accumulated.
- Build the dog “apartment” downstairs-Yes we are those people.
Something with George-build a blanket fort. I looked up toddler activities, and I have two issues. One, they are either messy, like have to take a bath messy. And after the finger painting debacle, we won’t be doing messy for awhile. Or Two, they involve a lot of stuff that we don’t have on hand or prep time that we don’t have time for. So building a fort in the living room it is.
Something with Tom-Go on a movie date
Something for me-finish some photo projects. I have several things over the last 6 months that I haven’t really had time to complete because they are just for me. So I have lots of sorting and creating I want to do with my photos.
I also want to blog at least twice a week. I have kind of gotten off the routine, but I have several posts that are only half written that I want to get out.