February 17, 2013 by Stephanie

Say I Love You

Like many churches, we were asked to go through a marriage counseling class before our wedding with our church.

They had several couples come throughout the day to give us advice. For the most part, we had great discussions and things were applicable to our relationship.

But there was one couple who made remarks that I still disagree with to this day. They said that Tom and I didn’t take love seriously if we said “I love you” all the time. They thought that it didn’t make it special if you threw it out at each other anytime and everyday. I believe they called us young and naive with how we say those words.

Plain silliness.

I think saying “I love you” has kept us together as long we have. If we didn’t have love, then what I am I sitting here in Iowa all by myself for?

I fully believe that you should proclaim your love to those that you love every chance you get.

I will say it in the heat of an argument to remind myself that I do love him and whatever we are fighting about is really not a big deal.

I will say it randomly and out of the blue just to feel some love.

I will say it to be romantic.

I will say it to compliment something that Tom has done for me.

I will say it because Tom is doing something uber cute that makes me fall for him just a little bit more.

I will say it to remind Tom that I am always here for him no matter what life throws at us.

I will say it anytime we have to say goodbye or before we go to sleep.

I will say it because I am not always sure if this time will be the last time. And I want him to know that I do. No doubts.

I say it because that’s how I feel, and why wouldn’t I reiterate to my husband that I love him dearly anytime I can?

We should say those three words when we feel it. Yes, there is a lot of meaning when you put it out there, so it shouldn’t be said unless you actually feel it. But love is meant to be shared so let it out and tell people that you love them.

During Tom’s basic training, I wrote him a letter each day because you don’t get to interact any other way. And each day I ended it with, “I love you more than yesterday.” Love should grow. So each time I say it, it means a little bit more.

So that couple in my opinion was wrong. You should say it as many times as you can. We all need real love. It is fundamental.

(I will add that this couple also told us to sniff diapers and charcoal to learn more about each other. So I am not sure how much I would actually take their advice in the first place.)

My craft tonight is inspired by Tom and I’s journey of love.

It was really easy to make.

You need:

maps (I ended up just printing them of the internet because some of the cities I needed were on state borders and thus meant they were on the crease in the atlas. )
3 part picture frame
marker

I cut the maps down to size and then traced the words with a marker.

Tom and I met in KC, MO; got engaged in Savannah, GA; and married in Jeff City, MO.

Also fun fact, KC is where I grew up and JC is where Tom grew up. I think that is just fun that they sandwich Savannah where we would like to retire someday.

We might add other frames with the places that we have lived together since it looks like we still have a few travels ahead!

January 27, 2013 by Stephanie

Have a Little Faith

Last weekend, I was with my best friend shopping for a wedding present for a friend of ours. As we were checking out, the checker asked whose wedding we were attending. We explained that it was a friend of ours from college. She then asked, “Oh is this her first marriage?”

Annette and I both look like we are still in college so I am not sure where she was coming from on this. She then went on to explain her parent’s divorces and how many people just don’t make it these days.

Well unfortunately she is right. But we were still dumbfounded that it was so common for her to ask mid twenty somethings “if this was her first marriage” like it was nothing.

Typically that is not the first question you are expecting after talking about a wedding.

I come from divorced parents myself so marriage was never something that I took lightly. Tom and I were together for 3 years before we got engaged and then another year before we tied the knot. We went through a lot in that time to figure out that marriage was our fate.

I am not against divorce. Watching my parents over the years, I understand that sometimes, even though divorce can be messy, it is the best for all parties involved. And sometimes it is the only answer to make everyone happy in the long run. There are a lot of reasons why divorce is good and necessary.

But this is not an entry on the benefits of divorce. Marriage is hard work, and sometimes you aren’t perfectly Disney happy. But, I know that I want my marriage to last.

So to make it, you have to have a little faith.

And boy has ours needed faith pretty much since the day we got married.

You envision a marriage growing up as something you see in fairy tales. So perfect and lovely, and always happy endings with a fantastic symphonic overture.

Well, Tom and I have been tested since day one. From Tom’s job search here in IA not panning out as we hoped, and now mine in KY hitting a brick wall, oh and then there is this whole Army thing and being apart for the better part of a year. We have got to have some faith in our foundations.

We have to have faith that someday we will actually be together not stressed about job searches or where we live. (Although my dad in his infinite wisdom says there is always something to stress about. Thanks for the pep talk, Daddio.)

We have to have faith that Tom will return safely.

We have to have faith in us.

I wear Tom’s wedding ring on a necklace every day. I get asked all the time if it’s Tom’s or my dad’s.

Yes, he could wear it over there, but he didn’t want it damaged in case something happened.

So I wear it. Everyday, everywhere. It is a little piece of him close to my heart at all times.

And do you know what is written on the inside of the ring? FAITH.

No joke. I noticed it one day while he was in basic training last year. Neither of us knew it was there until then. Talk about bringing chills.

So it is a constant reminder to me, just to hold on a little longer. Have some faith.

Faith can give you the strength to do things you never imagined.

I never thought I could be an Army wife, until I met Tom. Just a lot of faith, and maybe a little bit of crazy.

So what do you have faith in?

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Now back to the notion of fairy tales and all that jazz.

My favorite princess growing up was Belle. I thought she was awesome. She was a book reader like me (I fantasize about having a library like the one in the movie), and we both have brown hair and blue eyes. I also thought I could sing as well as her when I was a kid, but who was I kidding? Anyway, when you are a kid those were really all the similarities you needed. At the time, I thought all the other princesses were too girly or blonde.

Anyway, my love for Belle and the story of Beauty and the Beast has grown up with me. I freaked out when I was 25 and met her at Disneyworld. I still love the character to this day.

And I would say that I took some of Belle’s notes and have tamed a beast myself when I started dating Tom. On our first date, he did tell me he didn’t want kids or to get married.

In a month, I will have the chance to meet my childhood idol once again!

I am going to be running the Disney Princess Half Marathon at Disneyworld. And incidentally, the two women in the picture above are the two who I am running it with.

And yes, I am going to be dressing up as Belle. EEEEK! Dreams really do come true!

This weekend I made my tutu and headband for the affair. I am so pumped!

For the tutu I used 6 spools of tulle (4 yellow and 2 glitter) and an elastic band.

I sewed the band. I would do it smaller than your actual waist because it will stretch as you tie on the tulle. I had to cut some extra off towards the end and sew again, because it grew as I worked through it.

Then you just make knots with the tulle.

Super easy.

And if you are using glitter tulle this is what happens. Glitter everywhere.

And for the headband I will wear I bought several flowers, sequins to match and a simple headband.

Then you just hot-glue the flowers and the sequins to the headband. And voila, you have a princess headband!

I had extra flowers so I made these too. It was cheaper to buy several flowers and headbands in packs than individual ones. Go figure.

I didn’t have anyone to take my picture, so you will have to wait until February to see the full costume. I know the suspense may kill you.

Just know, that it is fantastic. I am sure this will be the most fun I have ever had running 13.1 miles.

January 3, 2013 by Stephanie

Memories of Us

Today is my husband’s birthday. There was no cake with sprinkles, no picking out a lobster to eat and watching Tom scarfing down everything in sight at Red Lobster, and no trip to Jax to peruse the gear we need for our bunker. So we are postponing the celebration until he gets back, as with most things during this deployment. I did sleep in for him, and I did go to Red Lobster but I was pretty conservative on my lunch. I just didn’t want to end up like this after a seafood overload…

It does stink to have holidays come and go and not be able to make new memories with each other.

I guess you could say though we are still making memories, they just aren’t the traditional ones most people are having. These months have been difficult, but it has given us strength and an experience to be really proud of.

And sometimes the memories are all we have to get us through this last little bit.

So in honor of Tom’s birthday, I thought of memories from our relationship to highlight his 28 years. I promise it won’t get to mushy.

Meeting at Worlds of Fun both as supervisors of our respective departments-later to hear that Tom used to find excuses to come into the park to see me before he asked me out. One being a park wide power outage and “happening” to come to the ride where I was coordinating an emergency evacuation.
The whole asking me out scenario-He had just pulled over my brother for running a stop sign and thought Randall had stolen my car. Then as Tom was asking me out, he spit gum at me. And I still said yes…
Seeing Blue October live in KC
Having our last year in Warrensburg together
Moving me to and from South Carolina, and Tom being an awesome partner who drove the truck both times so I could get into my car coma
Building elaborate sand castles every time we are at a beach
Fudge, Moccasins, and Ninja weapons. Enough said.
Building a laser obstacle course in our apartment with two lasers and lots of mirrors, then singing the theme song to mission impossible as we tried to roll through it.
Watching Tom with Grace.
Watching Tom with Ava (his sister’s daughter)
Nights on Pine Street
Friday Night Date night means Hy-Vee Chinese and a movie rental.
Taking care of me when I have food poisoning, which unfortunately has happened more times than I would care to remember
Making the ribbon streamers for our wedding and making up ribbon dances in our apartment to “test them out”
Tom being the first person to tell me Boy Meets World is going to have a sequel. This is a big deal folks, especially since he called me from Afghanistan to do so.
Hearing Tom’s end of the world plans, which changes on a daily basis.
Being there to watch each other graduate from big milestones (undergraduate, graduate, basic training)
Me beating him repeatedly in miniature golf…
Our first date and being serenaded by a band at the restaurant
Having different opinions in how Rummy should be played
Going to Zoo Brew the past few summers
BASEBALL
Tom reciting how I talk jibberish in my sleep. (Basketball Time!)
Being cited by WoF employees on our second date at the KC zoo. We didn’t want to be tainted by the WoF rumor mill…
Making forts out of anything and everything
Helping me train for my first half marathon and singing “Push It” as we run.
The proposal story in Savannah, GA
Our perfect wedding

We have lots of memories still to make and many more birthdays to experience!

Tonight’s craft has been a long time in the making. I have been collecting plastic bottle caps for the past 6 months for this. For someone who doesn’t buy a lot of groceries and has reusable bottles, this took me longer than others. Half of these honestly came from when we cleaned out my grandparents’ fridge after the funeral. So I am sure if someone else was doing the collecting it might go a little quicker.

So you just need need enough caps to cover the canvas of your choice. Then you just glue them all to the canvas in the design you want. It took me awhile to organize them so it wasn’t all one color in a certain area.

But this is the final product!

Happy Birthday Thomas!

December 31, 2012 by Stephanie

Home For the Holidays

This last week was full of hustle and bustle. The holiday time meant a trip home for me.

But at this moment in my life, home is an operative word. I have lots of homes. With my parents being divorced since I was four, I have never really known a time where one single place was home. And now, with the in-laws that added another sense of home to the mix.

So in the last week, I had 5 family holiday celebrations, met with 3 old wonderful friends, and traveled from/to three different cities. I was able to visit and catch up with so many friends and family. Some people I had not seen in 6 years! Yay for a reunion with the Rydman family!

Even with the bouncing around, all of it felt like home. It was good to be surrounded by familiarity.

A week ago, I was not singing the same tune. I was down in the dumps about going home. I was very very anxious and apprehensive about my holiday vacation. I was worried that I would feel even more alone with all of the reminders about Tom being gone for the holiday season. I thought that I would get fed up with all the questions and conversations about Tom being gone and when he would return. This was also going to be the first time that I have ever spent the night at my in-laws without Tom around. Let’s talk about a Tom reminder! I thought I was setting myself up for a nervous breakdown sleeping in his childhood home. I didn’t want to think about Tom being gone, and I knew at home I would have to face it head on. Expletive said here.

Luckily, I have never been more wrong!

This trip was exactly what I needed.

I saw my family and friends while in my hometown. It was busy busy going from one house to the next everyday, some days even more than one house. Grace and I definitely traipsed all over that town! But it was a great distraction to be so busy. And it was nice to be with the comfort of my family and have our traditions still happen even though my world is a little off-kilter. Here’s to the shrimp at my grandparents’, Christmas Day malt-o-meal with my dad and stepmom, brisket buffet with the Coles (step-extended family), and banana bread with my mom! Hmm I see a theme with our traditions being based around food…. And then being able to see the friendly faces of some of my bestest friends over the years, words cannot describe how great this was.

Then rounding out the Tour de Missouri, I traveled to my in-laws. Being able to talk about Tom the way we did…I don’t really know how to explain it, but it was very peaceful and calming for me. We could talk about Tom and just be normal about it. It didn’t have to be focused on the Army or being in Afghanistan. We talked about what the next couple years would look like and the plans we have for family. It was not a conversation about Tom like I have with many with pity in their eyes or a worried brow. I didn’t have to repeat things over and over, which can get exhausting at times to have the same conversation with everyone I meet. I sometimes feel like I just need to record myself with the scripted answers and just play it on loop. (He is coming home in the spring–He is doing pretty well–I get to talk to him every day, and yes I realize that is UNREAL–It’s a day by day process.) I was able to talk about Tom like he was there with us. It may sound kooky but there was a Tom aura there that maybe only I felt, but either way it was very comforting. And it was just normal. There wasn’t all this hoopla about Tom being gone and what he is doing. We did all miss him terribly and it definitely wasn’t the same, but I think we all were just tired of focusing on the fact that he is gone. We realize it’s not something we can change, and sometimes you don’t want to focus on the empty chair at the dining table. (Which is what I had been doing prior to the trip…) I don’t know if I would have felt all of this without the people who are so closely related to him reminding me of him so much. (Our niece, Ava, is so much like him, it’s silly…) So what I was most afraid of was actually the best thing for me!

And there was no nervous breakdown! I only cried twice on the whole entire trip and that was because of a news report of soldiers surprising their kids by coming home (this was more of a mad/jealous cry) and then crying during Les Mis (so nothing to do with Tom-sorry babe). Success!

The dictionary says home is “a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.”

Home took a very different meaning for me this last week. It was a place I could go to and be comforted and celebrate all the good things. It’s a place where love just kind of wraps you up like a warm blanket. It’s where you can go and feel like you never left and pick up where you left off. It’s a place that puts you at ease, somewhere to rest your hat so to speak. It’s a place where you go for family.

I went to a lot of “homes” this past week, and it was a perfect way to spend my time without Tom around.

As Dorothy says, “There is no place like home.”

And on the holiday note, this is my last homemade Christmas gift for this year.

Sidebar–I feel that homemade Christmas went over really well. I had a great time with it! And everyone seemed to enjoy it on their side too. (Or my family is really good at lying to me about liking their presents.) It really was a labor of love you were giving away. So I think we all had fun with it. The only down side was trying to figure out how to transport all of it back home.

Anyway, I am pretty proud of myself for this particular gift because it is my first attempt at using my sewing machine.

I have not used a sewing machine since 7th grade Home Ec which was in 1997/98. So needless to say, I needed some guidance on this one.

My mom helped me freshen up my sewing skills, and we used this pattern as our guide.

http://www.diaryofaquilter.com/search/label/tutorial?updated-max=2011-01-06T15%3A06%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=20

I did not take any “as we were going pictures” since this site explains it perfectly. This was a pretty easy project to get back into the swing of things with a sewing machine.

I made these for my brother so he could have them so he and his daughter could start their own holiday traditions with stocking stuffers. Maybe he will continue the tradition of toothbrushes and a deck of cards…

And after being reminded of how to use the sewing machine, I think I can start doing other varieties of crafts. 2013 get ready!

December 19, 2012 by Stephanie

Best Laid Plans…

My last few posts have been pretty heavy for me, so I am just going to focus on the craft this time.

However, I will say this craft is just like life.

You can plan for things, but it doesn’t always work out the way you planned.

This was my inspiration.

I wanted to make a board with the Royals emblem by doing this string effect.

So I got a canvas, pins, paint, and thread.

I painted the board blue. So far so good.

I cut out the KC emblem to trace it with pins. Again good.

Looks good right?

Then I spent 30-45 minutes poking pins into the canvas.

Everything is going great…then bam.

This is what happens…

What you can’t see from this picture is the pins collapsing on each other. Or the thread would come off if I moved my hand in the wrong way. And this is how far I got in a half hour. Ridiculous.

So forgo the thread.

I push all the pins down, and then mulled it over that this wasn’t good enough either.

I go between the ideas of painting, sewing, and buttons.

I really wanted a 3D effect, so I nix the painting.

I didn’t really want to spend the time sewing. Poking the pins through the canvas was more than enough for me.

So I chose buttons.

After going to Walmart and Hobby Lobby, I found that yellow buttons are not easy to come by.

So I went to the jewelry section and used some flat beads from there. Success!

So this is what I finally came up with.

I really hope that my parents like it! Go Royals!

If you are wanting to try the thread thing, I would suggest doing it on a wood board with nails so the pins can’t move. I am going to try it again some other time. I just need to get over being frustrated about it first.

So if at first you don’t succeed, try again or go to a different section in Hobby Lobby.

Besides this project, I also made lotion and a hand scrub for some Christmas presents tonight.

They both are great, and they are super easy to make.

The lotion could be a little a little thick and greasy, but that could be my interpretation of it. And I had it all over my hands from making it and putting it in the jars so I probably used more than I needed.

Here are the instructions for the hand scrub:

Fill your container with 3/4 of the way with sugar. Then fill the rest with Dawn soap (the pink one with the Olay in it). Then you just stir it up until it is a paste. This easiness made me feel better about the string craft not working out nicely.

Here are the instructions for the lotion:

16 ounces of Baby Lotion

8 ounces of coconut oil

8 ounces of Vitamin E cream

All of these I found at Walmart.

Then you just mix it together with a mixer until it is whipped like icing.

So that is it for tonight! More projects to come soon!

Sidenote: Tom and I have been married for 18 months today! (Yep, I’m that person.)

You all should listen to track number 5 of Tyrone’s new CD “This Love.” It is called “Make it Through.”

http://www.fixtstore.com/product/88908/Tyrone-Wells—This-Love-%28MP3-Album%29

Sorry I couldn’t find a youtube video of it, so this was the best I could do to show you this amazing song!