Baby

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You Want a Girl, Right?

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“Do you want a girl or a boy? Are you hoping for a girl? Do you want one of each? No seriously, you do want a girl right?”

These are the most common questions that I have gotten since the day we announced we are pregnant. People just can’t help themselves. I get it. There is some curiosity. I am not at all offended.

Because I do want a girl. I have always dreamed of being a girl mom. I used to write lists of possible girl names in my diary when I was in elementary school for my future girl children. I envisioned braiding her hair and talking about books and nonsense giggling over a Friday night movie.

But that isn’t really all that parenting is, is it? (Since I am in the trenches of teaching someone how to not pee in their pants, I guarantee you that school-girl dream is not the gist of parenting.)

Anyway. Yes, I would love the chance to be a girl mom.

But here is the thing.

I love being a MOM. I want any baby God is going to gift me with. This is a BIG lesson that God gave me when we had George. I would be lying if I didn’t say that there weren’t parts of me that weren’t sad about the possibility of a girl slipping away, but God knew exactly what I needed when he gave me George.

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And I believe he knows exactly what I need with this next baby.

And not only me but what our family and what our world needs.

Never would I ever look at George now and say I wish you would have been a girl. I love him so desperately, and I know that he was made just for our family. There is no way I would love him more just because he came out a girl.

Babies are babies. I am going to love this kid no matter what sex it is.

I believe in God’s plan for this child and our family. Whatever we are blessed with, I am going to be grateful and love it with all that I am.

I already do.

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Would I love the chance to be a girl mom, absolutely. I would love to see George with a sister, and Tom doting on a daughter. I would hope to raise a little girl in this world of uncertainty to be brave and imaginative and break barriers that I couldn’t. I would want to bring her up so she can have the confidence to do great things, not because she is a girl, but because she is a gift from above.

Here is the deal, even if I have a girl, I have no idea who she will be. In reality I may miss out on all the “girl” stuff anyway. She may hate bows and princesses, and want to just wrestle with George in the dirt. George may continue his love affair with shoes or want to do dance, so I can live out my dreams of being a dance mom. And that is ok. I will love whichever way the tide rolls for my kids. There is no reason to say I can’t experience these things we say are “girly or boyish” with either sex.

They will be different because one is George and one is Baby Dubs, not because one is a girl and one is a boy. And they won’t be the same because both of them happen to be boys.

What I want is to be a parent of two bright, funny, caring, overwhelmingly grateful people who are able to share love in this dark world. I don’t need girls to have kids who are compassionate. I don’t need boys to have kids who are brave.The sex shouldn’t matter, it matters on how we treat them once they are here.

And that is a gift that I am eternally grateful that God has blessed us with.

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So how can I not just be happy that THERE IS A BABY IN THERE?!? I know I am. A real miracle.

Would I love a little girl? Yes. But I also would love another little boy. I honestly just want the experience of being a parent in whatever way it comes. I will love what I have and dote on this kid just as much as I do on George.

(And hopefully there will be as many pictures)

I have trust and content that there is a greater plan than mine.

 

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Baby 2-Eighteen Weeks

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How far along: 18 weeks and 1 day

Sex of Baby W: We find out at the end of this month.

Weight gain: I am down to a total 5 pound loss. My doctor told me that I needed to start gaining weight, so it’s not for a lack of trying I promise.

Size of Baby W:  A bell pepper or a sugar glider

Maternity clothes: The belly really popped out this week, and it is much more obvious that I just didn’t eat too much mac and cheese at lunch. The maternity clothes are making a regular appearance now.

Baby items: We got a few baby clothes for Christmas. I also couldn’t help myself, and I bought a couple “punny” onsies I saw on Zulily.

Stretch marks: Still stretch mark free.

Belly button in or out:  It is flattening out, but it is still in.

Sleep: Sleeping has been hard this past week. I get up at least once to pee. The dogs also practically push me off the bed almost every night. I have a hard enough time getting them to move when I don’t have a belly to keep in mind, so basically they own the bed. I have been having some vivid dreams, but they’re very different than the ones that I had with George. With George, I had really violent dreams. This time they are more like movies that you would find on the Disney Channel.

Best moment the past few weeks: This seems very trivial, but Tom FINALLY brought up an old Xbox to our living room. So now we can watch DVDs and Netflix upstairs instead of on my computer. It has been life-changing! One of my close friends from grad school visited us on NYE on their way back home after the holidays. I can’t believe we hadn’t seen each other for FOUR years! It was great to see her in person and for her to meet George.

Worst moment the past few weeks: Honestly, things have been pretty low-key these past few weeks. I guess if I had to pick a moment, it would have been this particular student who pretty much said what I do for my job was worthless. It’s hard to keep your emotions in check when you are pregnant.

Miss anything: Warm weather. I. Hate. The. Cold. I am so glad my maternity leave will coincide with the summer.

Cravings: Eggs. We have been eating sunny-side-up eggs almost every day for dinner. I also really want Taco Bell because of a commercial I saw…And in case you were wondering, I am still eating almost a whole jar of marinated mushrooms every day.

Movement: I started for sure feeling movement on Christmas Eve. I feel baby more when I am laying down. I haven’t really felt much during the day.

Symptoms/how I am feeling: Overall, I have been feeling a lot better. I have had heartburn really bad this go around. I never had it with George, so this is a new experience. I get light-headed a little bit each time I stand up. Just in the last week, I started breaking out a lot more. Why are there no pleasant symptoms?

Looking forward to: We will find out the sex of the baby before my next update. This big anatomy scan will be the first time Tom has seen the baby since it was 6 weeks old, and it will have been 7 weeks since I have seen it.

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You can read about George at 18 weeks here.

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Baby 2-Twelve Weeks

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How far along: 12 weeks

Sex of Baby W: No clue

Weight gain: I’ve lost 3 lbs, however there is a bump coming.

Size of Baby W:  A lime or a Roborovski hamster. (I downloaded a new app that does the size in weird-but-cute animals.)

Maternity clothes: I do wear the belly band almost every day because I can’t button most pants. I wore maternity pants over Thanksgiving, but I am in that weird stage where they don’t really fit but neither do my normal pants. I don’t wear any maternity tops yet, but I am all about the baggy shirts and big chunky cardigans these days.

Baby items: I bought a crib sheet that was the exact color that I want for their room. Green and navy. Then I went wild saving stuff to my Amazon wishlist.

Stretch marks: Nothing yet. I am doing a really bad job putting on my belly cream though, so hopefully this doesn’t change.

Belly button in or out:  Still in.

Sleep: My sleep is going pretty well. I do usually have to wake up at least once to pee, but I generally don’t have any issues getting back to sleep.

Best moment the past few weeks: Work has been going exceptionally well for me lately. I have a post coming soon (I think…when I can find the time.).

Worst moment the past few weeks: At my last doctor’s appointment, they didn’t check me at all. This is sooooo weird for me. I am so used to having sonograms and heartbeat readings or at least checking my lady parts at every appointment. I didn’t have one appointment with George where they didn’t check something else besides my blood pressure. I was just in shock that she just asked me three questions and then sent me on my way. In my head I was screaming, “How do I know that this little bean is still alive?” This is the part of a normal pregnancy I do not like! But I have to remember this is all a good thing.

Miss anything: Being able to hold George for extended periods of time. He doesn’t understand why Mama can’t hold him all the time. It breaks my heart. Working out-between the nausea and the exhaustion, I am lucky if I can get all my steps in a day never mind actually exercising.

Cravings: Still marinated mushrooms, but I have also been craving burgers something fierce. I have been able to tolerate salads a little more, but they still aren’t my favorite. I dislike most vegetables to be honest. Salty things (besides french fries) are also a big turn off. And no bacon for me!

Movement: I haven’t felt anything yet.

Symptoms/how I am feeling: I am not as exhausted as I was (meaning I am not consistently falling asleep on the couch at 7pm),  but I am still fairly nauseous. I have started getting charlie horses in my calves-just awful.

Looking forward to: We have an ultrasound next week to check for any abnormalities. While there is some anxiety with what they are looking for, I am excited to see this little nugget again. It’s been 6 weeks!!!

Here is George at 12 weeks.

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Baby 2-Nine Weeks

This was the week that we found out about George. So the last 5 weeks have been so drastically different this go around. I loved having the documentation of George’s time in my belly, so I definitely want to do this all again. I just hope I can keep up with it this time.

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How far along: 9 weeks

Sex of Baby W: No clue

Weight gain: None so far

Size of Baby W:  A grape

Maternity clothes: While there may not be any weight gain, I am already starting to show. This is a big change since I lost 10 lbs during the first trimester in my first pregnancy, and I didn’t start to show until much later on. I am already at the point where I can’t button pants (and have been for a few weeks), and I am wearing the belly bands out of comfort. I am not holding out this time, and I perfectly fine with being in bigger/looser clothes. Plus I will admit that while I lost all the baby weight, I never quite lost the baby ring around my belly, so it is only fitting that it’s popping out much quicker. I can’t quite fit into maternity pants yet, but I think that is coming around Thanksgiving. (Which I can’t be mad about) I told Tom a few weeks ago that this may be a big pregnancy…

Baby items: I bought a onsie from my alma mater while we were there for Homecoming. I have also bought two items for their room to get us started on the theme which is going to be sea creatures. 

Stretch marks: Nothing yet.

Belly button in or out:  Still in.

Sleep: Fairly good, but I generally have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee. Most of that is due to the fact that I drink a cup of water right before bed now to make up for my missed water intake, so I only imagine this will get worse. But once I am asleep, I get really good sleep.

Best moment the past few weeks: Seeing baby on the ultrasound. George kissing “babee” goodnight every night.

Worst moment the past few weeks: Trip to the ER, but that did get us to see baby on it’s first ultrasound.

Miss anything: Being able to eat deli meat. Having an ultrasound every couple weeks. It is really hard to go from having an appointment every two weeks like we did with George, and now only going every four weeks. This is torture not knowing if everything is ok.

Cravings: Marinated mushrooms. I could eat a jar of them all day every day. This is really the only thing I am wanting honestly. I tolerate the rest of the food I eat just for nourishment. I am not really wanting much salty foods, and salads make me want to gag.

Movement: My little grape is too small for this yet.

Symptoms/how I am feeling: I can’t eat because of nausea, and I am nauseous because I can’t eat. It is an awful cycle that makes me eat maybe a fourth of what I normally eat at each meal. With George, my hormones weren’t on board with the pregnancy so I was having cramps and dizzyness enough where I had to stay home some days. However, I was still able to eat meals. This time I am nauseous pretty much all day. I am also so exhausted. I feel like an awful mom right now because most days I fall asleep on the couch while George plays with trains. Growing a baby is tiring, but doing it with a baby on the outside as well is like something more exhausting than just exhausted. (I am too tired to think of quippy things.)

Looking forward to: Thanksgiving. Hopefully my nausea goes away so I can fully take part in all the food and take advantage of being pregnant over the holidays.

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The biggest difference is for sure having George around while growing another human. It is making me cherish our moments alone so much more. The other big difference is my hormones actually reading this pregnancy. It will be interesting to now compare my updates from here on out with what we documented for George.

 

 

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Start Spreading the News

The last time we were pregnant, we were far away from all family so we told everyone just as soon as we found out over the phone.

This time being near family, I really wanted to do something to pop the news on them.

I created a video for George’s first year with all the pictures I took with my fancy camera. You can see that here. This is something I want to keep doing each year since I am not into scrapbooks.

So I decided I could make his year two video also the announcement video.

I didn’t think I would raise any suspicions when I brought it over for them to watch at one of our regular family gatherings. I may have been a bit eager to show it, but they didn’t raise any eyebrows to that until after they saw it. (My brother-in-law however called what was going on by my aggressive request to watch this before our normal family dinner.)

I was really happy that Tom’s grandma could be there to see it too. All of my grandmas are gone, so that was really special for us that she was able to be part of this.

There was no way I could wait until we were in person to tell my family, and they would have known something was up if I said to Skype because we never do that. However, my mom guessed it before I could tell her when I called with the news. She is a smart one, that lady!

Next up is my first bumpdate this go around!