partnership

Fifteen years ago, we stood before God and promised to walk through life together. At the time, I thought I knew what our future might hold. I imagined a home, children, careers, traditions, and milestones. What I couldn’t imagine was how many different lives we would live within this one marriage. Honestly, our life looks nothing like I imagined when we high-fived I do. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Over the last fifteen years, we have been newlyweds and exhausted parents. We have celebrated promotions and navigated disappointments. We have welcomed babies, endured uncertainty, packed boxes, said difficult goodbyes, and started over more than once. We have walked through seasons that felt abundant and seasons that required us to trust God one day at a time.

When I look back at our marriage, I don’t see a perfect story. I see a testimony of God’s faithfulness.

God’s Provision

There were seasons when we weren’t sure how everything would work out financially. There were moments when unexpected expenses, career changes, and uncertainty made the future feel unclear.

We bought our house right before a housing market boom in our area, and we have been able to update it to our forever home.

Tom got his VA benefits upgraded right before his law enforcement career was uprooted and left him waiting on a lawsuit. And then the lawsuit itself became a significant blessing.

Looking back, I can see God’s fingerprints all over those moments. He provided what we needed, often in ways we never expected. I get goosebumps thinking about all the times that it just worked out as it needed to for us to feel comfort.

God’s Guidance Through Career Changes

Neither of us could have predicted the paths our careers would take. When we got married, Tom wanted to be a canine officer, and I was going to continue working and moving up in Residence Life on a college campus.

Over the years we got devastating no’s and some yes’s that took faith in the unknown. We went down unanticipated paths as the years have gone by. I worked in Disability Services and then found myself working up College Enrollment Management positions which was a far cry from my Residence Life roots. Tom joined the Army and then eventually worked as a road police officer with a pit stop as a Loan Specialist for a hot second. Each of these experiences have helped us where we are now. I would not be the teacher I am now without the path that led me here. I think about the opportunities Tom has had that have helped us in other areas of our life. He can connect with ANYONE due to his law enforcement conversation skills, and even his time working on loans has come in handy with our own house and finances.

I also think about the people along each of these routes who either nudged us with job openings, helped mentor us, or highlighted that it was time for a change for a myriad of reasons. It is another moment of looking back and thinking how perfect all the timing was for each interaction to move us.

At the time, some doors closing felt painful. Some opportunities felt risky. But God was writing a story we couldn’t yet see. He allowed for these career changes to help us grow together as partners. I will have to say these career moments gave us some of our darkest moments where we felt hopeless and we each have had to dig the other out of those career pitfalls. It is in these moments that leaning on each other just made our marriage that much stronger and helped us realize that our careers don’t have to define us.

God’s Faithfulness Through Medical Challenges

There have been moments when health concerns brought fear, uncertainty, and difficult decisions.

I still can’t think about Tom’s situation without getting a lump in my throat thinking about God’s graces during that time.

But we have seen it other moments like George being in the NICU, my hemorrhaging after Daphne’s birth, and Wally’s seizures.

All of these were scary and again moved us to have faith and lean on each other for strength. It was in these situations that our marriage was a lifeline because someone else was going through it with you and you could share the weight of it all.

In those moments, God met us with strength, wisdom, peace, and wove us even more together.

God’s Grace in Parenting

Perhaps nothing has stretched us, humbled us, or grown us more than becoming parents.

One of the greatest blessings of our marriage has been choosing each other as partners in parenthood. Before we ever held our babies, we each carried our own stories, experiences, traditions, and even wounds from childhood. Some things we wanted to recreate. Others we wanted to do differently. Parenting has a way of bringing all of that to the surface, inviting you to examine where you came from while deciding together where you want to go.

There have been countless conversations about the kind of family we hope to build, the values we want to pass on, and the cycles we want to break. We haven’t always approached things from the same perspective, but we’ve continued to learn from one another and grow together. In many ways, raising our children has also been a journey of healing and growth for us. It has given us the opportunity to extend grace to our younger selves, appreciate the sacrifices of those who raised us, and intentionally create a home rooted in love, faith, laughter, and security.

Looking back, I am so grateful not only for the children we have been entrusted with, but for the person standing beside me through every sleepless night, difficult decision, proud moment, and unexpected challenge. There is something sacred about building a family together, about taking two different histories and, with God’s help, creating a new legacy for the generations that follow.

God’s Presence in Navigating Relationships

Life is rarely complicated because of circumstances alone. More often, it is relationships that stretch us, shape us, and challenge us the most.

Family dynamics. Friendships. Misunderstandings. Seasons of hurt and healing, but also finding “our circle” of people.

Over the years, I’ve come to appreciate the saying that “people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” As we’ve moved, changed careers, navigated deployments, raised children, and grown into different versions of ourselves, we’ve experienced all three. Some relationships have stood the test of time and distance, becoming part of the foundation of our lives. Others served a purpose in a particular season, offering support, wisdom, or companionship when we needed it most. And some relationships required difficult conversations, changed over time, or came to an end altogether.

One of the gifts of marriage has been having a partner to walk through those moments with. We haven’t always viewed every relationship the same way, but we’ve learned to trust each other, support one another’s decisions, and extend grace as we worked through complicated dynamics with family, friends, and the communities around us.

Through it all, God has continually taught us that love and forgiveness can coexist with healthy boundaries. He has shown us when to hold on, when to seek reconciliation, and when to release relationships into His hands. In every season, He has used the people in our lives to teach us something about grace, humility, and what it means to love others well.

God’s Faithfulness in the Hardest Seasons

Some chapters were heavier than others.

The seasons where we didn’t know how things would turn out.
The seasons that tested our faith.
The seasons that revealed what we were truly made of.

Deployments
Moving
Layoffs
Babies
Sickness
Homebuying
Home Renovation
Church Exploration

When I look back now, I see that God never wasted any of it.

The Blessing of Growing Together

The greatest gift of these fifteen years isn’t the life we’ve built. It’s who we’ve become.

We are not the same people who stood at the altar fifteen years ago. Life has changed us. Parenthood has changed us. Challenges have changed us. God’s faithfulness has changed us.

And somehow, through all those versions of ourselves, we have continued to choose each other.

As I look back over fifteen years, my heart is filled with gratitude. Not because every season was easy, but because God was present in every season.

His provision.
His protection.
His grace.
His guidance.
His faithfulness.

Fifteen years later, those are the blessings I celebrate most.

Here’s to fifteen years of God’s goodness and whatever adventures He has planned for the years ahead.

A dozen years of marriage.

If I think back to the summer of 2007 when we met, I would never have dreamed of the life that we have. It’s funny that our life together started at an amusement park, because it is the perfect metaphor for our life together.

From the moment we got married though in 2011, I knew I was in for ride with many twists, turns, exhilaration, and lots of snacks along the way.

Every year, I take some time to reflect on our marriage and how it has grown and evolved over the past year.

Some years I share how hard our communication has been.
Some years I give a timeline of growth we experienced that year.
Some years I highlight the belief we have in each other.
I generally always give thoughts on the milestones of the year.

This year, I wanted to talk through what this year in our marriage has meant to me.

Year 12 was a year of teamwork. This year emphasized why our marriage works. Yes we respect, admire, and love each other. But I think this works mostly because Tom and I are truly partners at this life.

Teamwork in Well-being

Tom has had several health scares this year. In October, he suffered a stroke that actually led us to testicular cancer that we fortunately caught before it could spread to his prostate. The recovery from the surgery was longer than expected due to his autoimmune disease having a reaction to his medication and bedrest. Then in February, un-diagnosed ulcers ruptured in his stomach causing him to be in the hospital for days.

We had the life altering moment of watching Wally have a seizure and still have no understanding fully of why it happened. To feel so helpless as parents wrecked me. To have Tom as a strong hold got me through that first month of worry. He made sure I ate and did everything he could to give me peace to sleep.

It was in these moments where we had to lean on each other physically and emotionally. We crawled into the hole together some days and were mad and sad at the situations happening to us. It was scary as the care taker to watch each other in those moments. But the teamwork meant for me to be even more present in these dark moments for us to stay strong together.

Teamwork in Faith

As we made decisions about our family’s faith journey this year, we knew we had to do this together. Faith in God is a personal commitment, but we needed to be in lockstep about our game plan as we are role models to our children. We have struggled with finding a community that we felt would help us grow but also nourish our family as a whole. We took a leap this spring and made a commitment to a church home this spring, and it is the first time we both felt called to the same church.

Teamwork in the House

We are both fully capable people and can do all the things around the house. But what is the fun in that? We divide and conquer with our natural strengths. For example, I keep our schedule managed as it overflows with commitments, and he can add more garden beds each year with great ambition. I make all the plans, and he is the fixer upper.

It helps knowing that I don’t have to carry the burden of the household completely alone, and he keeps life interesting with all of his house projects and ideas. We rely on each other to make this household run completely without feeling the burden one way or the other.

Teamwork in our Careers

We both have fully earned our spots in our careers. We both have worked hard, dreamed big, and never gave up. But I truly believe that I would not have the same strength to be who I am at work without his support at home. He makes me feel more confident and is my first sounding board when I am struggling. Both of our jobs take a lot of mental effort and time, and it is great to have a partner who is understanding when our brains need to shut off when we get home or that we may be running just a little late here and there.

Having a partner who supports your career aspirations means the world. He is my biggest cheerleader, and he is often the reason I feel brave enough to jump into new situations. I mean if he can believe in me, why can’t I believe in myself? Having someone that supports you this fully makes it seems like we are not having to sacrifice in order to chase these dreams at work.

Teamwork as People

We compliment each other well in our personality and strengths. It is honestly amazing how opposite we are from each other, but it really helps fill in the gaps where we need something in this marriage. We are able to balance each other out, and this helps when we have to solve problems in this roller coaster of life because we can see different angles when approaching different situations. And I would be remiss to say that everything is equal all the time around here. I think 50/50 is a myth in so many ways, but that is for another day. The beauty of this team work is that we can be teeter totters for each other. There is an ebb and flow with our energy and time, and we acknowledge when we need to make shifts for each other. We have gotten so much better about communicating our needs to each other so that we can truly be the best partners to each other.

There is no one I’d rather ride along in this life with then Tom.

From then…