November 3, 2012 by Stephanie

Say What?

Tonight my craft entry is dedicated to Tom’s craftiness. He wanted to share a past project we did. In all fairness though, my family provided the dresser, and that was really all my input. Well, that and picking out the tile. Tom did all the work and deserves all the credit!

My parents are getting ready to downsize, so they are getting rid of a lot of things, one being this old dresser. As you can see, it needed some major upgrades.

We wanted to make it into a kitchen island. I will never forget the argument that ensued before we started this project. Tom and I had the hardest time communicating with each other what we envisioned for this island. We both lost patience with each other and were too stubborn to actually hear what the other was saying. That was the longest drive from Jeff City to Ames. (It is really difficult to fight while you have a 5 hour drive ahead of you. You can’t really escape it.)

Needless to say, we still have issues from time to time communicating with each other. And only being able to talk in brief spurts does not help. Tom has gotten even shorter with his patience after being trained to give information as quickly as possible, and because I don’t get much time it only makes sense for me to want to explain everything from every which way and being extremely long-winded. It’s an awful combination. So naturally, we get into tiffs every now and then trying to understand each other. Fortunately, we are mature enough now to call each other out and know when we need to step back for a second. And most of the time, we realize that we are more frustrated with the situation than we are with each other. But you take it out on the people you love most, right? Even though we have spent a majority of our relationship apart, we still have to find that balance with communication, and it needs tweaking every now and then.

And trying to figure it out when the blasted phone hangs up on us every few minutes is lame. Although, to be honest, that may soften us up a bit and make us forget what we are arguing about or realize that it was pretty dumb to be arguing over the Sprint account password. We become more frustrated with the phones than with each other, and then we get all mushy with the “I’m sorry” goodness. Delightful.

Then there are the small things about instant communication that I miss. I miss being able to tell Tom anything whenever. You know when you do something really embarrassing, and you want to tell someone how ridiculous you were? Tom is that person I can tell, and he will laugh at me, but he wouldn’t think anything less of me. (He does continue to razz me about things though.) Like talking about having a dog wedding or how I recently have forgotten to zip up my pants on many occasions. (FYI, I would appreciate you all not staring at my crotch. I already feel like a little kid forgetting so many times.) Today we had a conversation about bodily functions that 5 years ago would have disgusted Tom to pieces. Now, it is just what it is. When I talk to Tom, it’s like I open my mouth and all my insides just spill out. It’s just nice to have someone to just be completely open with without holding back because of embarrassment. Now Grace gets the brunt of my embarrassing moments, and she handles it pretty well. She never laughs at me, which I can’t say about my husband. Hmmmm, maybe I need to rethink this…

Besides sharing these things with my dog, I have resorted to still sending Tom texts with my ridiculousness. He is not able to see any texts right now, so it is going to be a real fun when he gets a few dozen of them by the time he comes home.

When you get right down to it with relationships, you have to learn to how to communicate. We have had to work really hard with this, especially with the changing dynamics of our relationship due to distance/circumstances. We are constantly trying to figure out each other and make the most of the situation. I think the fact that we are really open with each other helps us grow stronger together. We definitely don’t always agree, but we somehow manage to make it work. And part of that is understanding the art of compromise. Like this dresser for example. We both wanted it to look a certain way. At first we had a lot of trouble communicating what we wanted, but eventually we found ways to show our intentions and designs. From this, we had to compromise and meet in the middle with our ideas and blend them together.

I think the result is pretty awesome! Tom did a great job putting it together!

Now the dresser that my brother and I used as target practice, is a beautiful island that we use everyday.

October 28, 2012 by Stephanie

Who let the dogs out?

This weekend, I have had the pleasure of dog sitting one of my friend’s dog, Teddy. He is one of Grace’s besties, so it works out that she gets a playmate for the day. They have been a hoot to watch all day!

Grace and Teddy!

Having two little rascals really highlighted the fact that right now I am a “single mom.” When Tom is home we obviously share the responsibilites of letting the dog outside, exercising her, and just generally taking care of Gracie. I sure do miss having him here to help, especially now that it’s getting colder outside. It is nice to have someone else to help with the load.

I have been contemplating lately how I am going to do the holidays this year with Grace. Last year, Tom was here so we could trade off who would watch her while we were home visiting our parents. So it was rare that we would have to pawn her off to our parents to watch. Plus my parents are divorced, so I have to go to several different houses in order to see everyone, which means Grace has to move with me. Without Tom, there are a lot more things that I have to consider. It is not as easy to just go to Chili’s with Annette and Jeannette, because then I would have to leave Grace kenneled up alone or hope that my parents don’t have plans so they can watch her. And then there is the issue of just traveling alone with her. Grace gets really bad anxiety when she is left alone, so I really have to time out my potty breaks and hope she doesn’t destroy the car. Before Tom and I would trade off who would watch her, and it seemed so easy. And trying to get her kennel and all the other luggage out of the car while managing her is awful to do alone. Although, I am sure it is pretty comical trying to watch me carry as much as I can while juggling her leash hopping she doesn’t pull me over.

All in all, Grace and I have gotten into a pretty good routine that it works out alright. It is just on those really long days where I have meetings back to back that I feel like Grace is getting neglected. And I can’t just leave town or be gone all day shopping; I have to make plans around Grace’s schedule and make sure I have someone to watch her. I miss having my partner.

I also feel bad at times talking about how awesome our dog is when I am on the phone with Tom. I know he misses her so much, and here I am rubbing in the fact that I get to play with her every day. I mean seriously, I am supposed to cheer him up, not bring him down about missing home. So I have this argument with myself of whether I should be telling him how she runs laps around me at night when we go for our bedtime potty, that we had a really good snuggle that morning, or that she is somewhat getting the hang of laying down. It can’t be easy for him to know he is missing things and fearing that she won’t remember him when he comes home. But it is not easy for me either hearing how he misses her when I tell her the latest “Grace is great” story. I want him to be here to share these moments with me.

I know that Grace is only a dog, but it does require a little more planning now that I am raising her on my own, Which makes me admire military spouses who have to take care of children through a deployment even more. I am thankful that Tom and I haven’t started our family yet, because it would break my heart every day for him to be missing out on the little day to day things that our kids will do. It is a sacrifice that we choose, but that doesn’t make it suck any less. And unfortunately, the military is awful with it’s timing and will take parents away from their newborn children which makes them miss most of the kid’s first year. There is a family in Tom’s unit that had a baby the week after they deployed. To think about how that father missed out on seeing his child’s first breaths…sigh. The sun still rises and sets whether our significant others are present or not, so we also have to keep getting up too and keep our families moving and grooving. We have to do the best we can with messages and pictures to keep our loved ones in the loop. Thank goodness for the internet and modern technology! My heart goes out to the families that are here trying to make do without an intrical part of their family unit.

And this is a shout out to my parents who were single parents for awhile before they remarried. I still have no idea how they managed to get my brother and I both where we needed to be. Sometimes I feel like I cannot manage Grace let alone trying to wrangle two other human beings who were not perfect angles. But they both showed Randall and I what it means to be a family and caring for one another no matter what the circumstances may be.

Today’s craft was probably the easiest thing ever. It took me all of 5 minutes, while I was on the phone with Tom.

I made a shadow box holder for tickets. I have always wanted to do something with the tickets we have to events, movies, concerts, etc. It’s cool to remember what you have been to, and I am not big on scrapbooking to mark it that way. So I saw this Pinterest and made it.

All you need is a shadow box and scrapbooking stickers. I will warn you that shadowboxes are expensive. I waited until they were on sale and used a Hobby Lobby coupon. (On that note, I highly suggest signing up for Hobby Lobby’s weekly coupons and deals. Every week, I get a 40% off coupon for a single item. Not that I use it every week, but it does come in handy!)

And then you just slip the tickets in. Voila, craft done.

October 18, 2012 by Stephanie

Red Line Message

This is the subject line of an email that I received a few weeks ago. Red Lines are messages that are sent out to families to notify them that someone was killed where their soldier is located. In the message, it detailed that 3 soldiers attached to Tom’s unit were killed by a suicide bomber. (Now was this in the news? Not any that I saw. But that is a subject for another day.) In the letter, it does explain that it is not one of our 101st Airborne men, however this did not stop the panic attack that quickly ensued.

I know that the procedure is that I will be the first person to be notified if something were to happen. And I also know that it would be in person and not through an email. People in their right minds know these things. But I had just lost my grandparents, I hadn’t heard from Tom that day, and to top it off, I had just done a staff development activity on telling people around you that you appreciate them and not waiting until it’s too late, so my loopy mind kept going to the worst possible scenario. I was an absolute wreck that night. It was like that scene in “A League of their Own” when one of the players found out in the locker room her husband dies, and then Geena Davis lost it in a scene soon after because her husband was also in the military. I was Geena Davis, only my husband didn’t walk in to make it a magical moment. Bummer.

Tom was able to call me the next morning. He explained to me that he was no where near this incident, and the jobs were completely different than his. He also explained that when things like this happen they are under a “blackout” with communication which is why I hadn’t heard from him. This is so the families really are the first to know of the tragedy. Can you believe that people have found out from text messages from friends who heard before they did? So now they have very strict policies of how this information is disseminated.

Luckily, I do get to speak to Tom pretty much every day. They have phones and computers, and he does a good job trying to find time when I am awake to call. He is about 10ish hours ahead of us, so he is often calling in the middle of the night where he is just so he doesn’t disturb my slumber. Good man.

It still is difficult though. I never know when he is going to call. Each day his schedule and mine are different. I would be lying if I don’t look at my phone several times an hour hoping that it rings. I worry all the time about his safety. His calls are all I have to know that he made it through another day, well that and his updated Facebook statuses.

I try not to think about it too often to ward off anxiety attacks. I have a lot of personal pep talks in my head to try to stay positive and know that Tom is doing all that he can to come home safe with his unit. All those counseling classes from grad school are coming in handy for myself. Or I just keep myself too busy to really have time to think about it. But sometimes the waiting gets too rough, and I end up crying in the middle of a restaurant during the lunch rush. Yes this happened. And sometimes, I have to step out of a meeting because I haven’t heard from him in 24 hours and just need that peace of mind.

Today, we were able to Skype for the first time since he left. Even though it was for like 8 minutes, it was still awesome! I feel very fortunate that we get as much contact as we do.

For the most part, I do pretty ok with him being gone. I had gotten used to him not being here with basic last spring, so this wasn’t that hard of a transition since he left again so soon after. Grace and I had not really gotten used to him being home in the first place, as bad as that may sound. And unlike basic, we actually get to speak this time around! But there are a few moments every day where it hits me: Grace does something that is super awesome (which is pretty much her every waking moment) or I see “How I Met Your Mother” in our Netflix queue, or the dirty dishes are piling up in the kitchen…So I let myself wallow for a second, accept it and move on and clean those dang dishes.

That’s really all that I can do, otherwise I would be spending all my time in bed crying into a box of ice cream. You have to get up every day and live it, otherwise what are they fighting for? So I do and hope for the best. I mean 9 months goes by super fast right?

Ha, well speaking of 9 months going quickly, my latest project is for my very pregnant other half, Jeannette. She is actually due with little Herman tomorrow!

I crocheted Herman this wonderful little blanket and was able to hand deliver it to Jeannette while I was at home this past weekend. Maybe next time he will be ready to see me when I visit!

Grace tested it out for us. She approved.

To end, this verse really helps me to have faith and remember to not constantly worry.

“Can all of your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27.

Well, no they probably don’t. Aha moment of the day, done. (I have to have this aha moment set on repeat though…)

October 1, 2012 by Stephanie

In Remembrance.

It seems like today we are surrounded by death. With media, we hear about different deaths every day. It is on many TV shows, some of them my favorites. It seems that they are all trying to find a new spin on the murder mystery storyline. I will admit some of my favorite shows are Castle, Law and Order SVU and Pysch, which have a death in pretty much every episode as entertainment. I think at times we forget the seriousness that comes with such finality.
This month especially I have been reminded at every corner about the mortality that we all face. The 11 year anniversary of September 11th came and reminded us all of so many who gave their lives willingly and unwillingly. Such a tragic event reminds us that we are not untouchable.
Then there are the daily conversations that people have around me about the possibility that my husband may not come back. Yes this happens on a regular basis, and it is not the most comforting thing to face. I know that most people are trying to be comforting and become uneasy and the awkwardness just pops out. But it becomes exhausting hearing “I feel so sorry for you,” and “How do you do it?” or seeing “The you poor thing” face. I think about Tom and the danger he is in every day enough on my own without the help of these conversations. And, again, I know people do not mean to put this pressure on and are wanting to show care and concern.
Hint: Ask me how Tom is doing just like you would if he worked here in the States. Yes he is making a huge sacrifice, and yes it is dangerous, but we are trying to live as normal as possible. So say thank you for the service if you want to mention the topic of the Army, and then ask normal questions and treat us like normal people. You don’t have to walk on egg shells around us. We made this choice to do this adventure so you don’t have to be uncomfortable and act like we need saving. We’ll let you know if something happens, then the saving can occur. And I will need lots of saving if something were to happen. Otherwise, I can just tell you how his first mission was attacking a bee hive. Hard at work I tell you.
These things were all just reminders about death, but then I had to deal with real life ending stories when both of my grandparents passed away recently. My grandma passed after a stroke in July, and my grandpa gave into his fight with cancer earlier this month. I have been very fortunate to have all 6 of my grandparents up to this point, so lucky.
I have had people I know pass away in my life-time, but never anyone that I was super close to and depended on. So the concept of death being real is something very new to me. I did not have my first real experience with death until I was in grad school when one of my staff members, Sam Rankin, passed away from a disease she was struck with suddenly. She and I were extremely close after her time on staff. She became like a little sister to me, and I was devastated to learn of her passing at such a young age. Sudden events like this make you think how you can change your own life to make the best of the time you have on this earth. Sam is my inspiration in a lot that I do at work to always be mindful of helping students have an meaningful time while they are at college. You can always do more. She had a wonderful zest for life and was always positive, and I hope that I can live up to her spirit.
As for my grandparents, I still am trying to process their passing. It’s hard to believe they aren’t just a phone call away when I need advice. Or that when I head south they wont be there to go to a buffet for dinner. They lived in South Carolina my whole life so they weren’t always here in person. But they were grandparents who made you feel loved and special with the time that you did have with them and never forgotten when we were apart. They always made it a point to call whenever we did have big things going on in our lives, and did come to things when they were able.
They lived right outside of Clemson where I went to grad school. Having a different relationship with them was one big reason that I went to school down south. I wanted to know how they were on day to day. During those two years, I was able to get to know them differently and learn so much more from them. They were the most compassionate and generous people that I know. They opened their door to so many people even when they had nothing. And the love that they had for each other is something that we all should aspire to. So to remember them I thought I would tell some of my favorite memories or tidbits of their lives.
1. Anytime we went out to eat we always asked for a to-go box even if there was only 2 bites of mashed potatoes left. Grandma wasted nothing.
2. We called him “Grandpa Christmas” because he sounded like Santa over the phone and always came to visit at Christmas when we were a kid.
3. While I was in grad school, whenever I came over Grandma would have piles of newspaper clippings to help me solve an issue for a problem that I had had a month ago and had probably forgotten about.
4. Grandpa giving me transparencies of his lectures to help with my counseling classes.
5. Seeing my grandma play the piano and my grandpa sing along. They had a way with music.
6. Watching their faces when I told them I was doing an internship at SWU, their beloved school my Grandpa had worked at for years.
7. My grandpa’s sense of humor and his impeccable timing for his wise cracks.
8. Grandma giving you a back rub every time that you got a hug from her.
9. They always spoke so highly of the family and showed true dedication and love to us. And you could see the pride and joy they had for us when they talked about any of us.
10. Grandma fixing my soon to be dead flowers I had in Clemson and teaching me a thing or two about gardening.
11. When I went to visit them we always went to Ryan’s, and when they drove into Clemson we always went to Western Sizzler. Guaranteed.
12. When I broke my butt, they came and cleaned my apartment so I wouldn’t have to worry about it while I hobbled around.
13. Both of them had infectious laughs that shook their whole bodies, and is making me giggle right now to think about them.
14. The fact that I come by being a packrat honestly. When I came for the funeral I realized that the kitchen window was actually a door. They just had junk piled in front of it for years that I never had seen it open or that it had a door knob.
15. I don’t really remember this, but my parents say Grandma had a knack for potty training, and was able to train my brother and I on weekend visits. I wish she had spilled that secret before she went.
16. Taking us to the zoo when we were kids.
17. Grandma being terrified of bars. Her reactions/stories about “bar folk” were priceless. I am pretty sure she thought anyone who drank in a bar wore all leather and was in a vicious biker gang.
18. Whenever I had a break-up, I could expect a letter from Grandma soon after telling me about a story of her love life and how things will get better.
19. Grandpa asking me how we got Grace and if the same shelter would give him a dog to help Grandma through the stroke. (FYI: Grandma did not like dogs.) Adorable.
20. Not one of my fondest memories, but a good life lesson. They always had a way of putting me in my place when I was being selfish. It wasn’t that they would point it out, but they truly lived by example and taught me so much in the way they lead their life that it reminded me what was really important. They never meant to make me feel guilty, and I don’t think that they even knew that I did. But their life and their actions were constantly showing me that this world is bigger than myself.
21. They taught me to always serve others and always show kindness.
22. Their dedication to the Lord. Their faith was unlike any other. They had bible study every morning and every night with each other. When they were in hospice before Grandma passed, Grandpa insisted that we took his tithe to church for him. We told him that he had given enough and that he did not have to worry about it that week. He then proceeded to give us a lecture on the importance and wrote out the check for us to take. Always giving to the Lord, even in their last moments.
22. Lastly their marriage will always be something that I look upon with fondness. I have a memory of them doing dishes in the kitchen, and they are singing and being playful with each other. Just precious. They were so sweet to each other and would give and give. Their love was unwavering. They grew together over the last several decades, and were always there for each other. This is something that will always stick with me as Tom and I begin our marriage. One year strong!
They were wonderful people. Seeing the hundreds of people who came to their services shows they are going to be truly missed by so many people. Words cannot even begin to express what influences they had on people. They gave all they had in everything they did and everyone they met. And it showed in their celebration services. The best that we can do now is to take what we learned from them and continue living our lives the best that we know how.
Some days it is hard to accept death, others it may never even be on our radar. In thinking about Sam and my grandparents’ deaths, I am reminded to never forget that each moment is precious. It is a moment where we can be an example and show compassion to others. It is a moment to love life and be thankful for the gifts that we were given. We should be thankful for the moments that we have and just live.
And so with that, today I am thankful for a weekend of rest and the chance to make things!
Now the holiday season is upon us (sort of), so that means that some of my creations will be for “Homemade Christmas.” I have gone back and forth about whether I should post these on here or not, and I have decided that we are all grown-ups, and it’s the thought that counts not the surprise on Christmas day. And this way you can share in the story. Or maybe I don’t want to wait until after Christmas to talk about all these goodies and post all the pictures. You decide.
I have wanted to do a Chevron thing for a while, and this weekend I tried. Here is my story of how it went.
To do chevron patterns, it takes a lot of time and patience.
First I measured out and marked the squares on the canvas.

Caution, when you are making the lines, try to be as light as possible. I had a hard time erasing some of the pencil marks at the end.

Then you can use tape to start marking off the stripes. I used painter’s tape, but I would suggest something else like Frog tape or masking tape. My paint bled through-not living up to it’s name.

You will do diagonal lines in each square alternating directions as you go across the canvas.

This takes FOREVER. You have to cut the tape as you go to make the precise lines. I think doing the markings took me about an hour alone. So if others have suggestion on how to make this a quicker process, feel free to chime in. I was not able to make it quick.

I wanted to make one for me and one for my mom, but I got sick of the tediousness by the second canvas that I just made up a design by making a whole bunch of diagonals with the tape. And I actually like the funkyness a little more.

Then comes painting.

I let it dry over night before I took off the tape. Like I said some of the paint bled underneath the tape. Bummer.

While I was waiting for this to dry, I took on the second part of the project. I wanted to personalize each one with our last names. So I had to spray paint wood letters.

I wish I could have found a little bigger blocks, but the next biggest size were about the size of my hand and would not all fit on the canvas I had already bought. Sometimes you just have to go with what you can find.

Once everything was dry, I hot-glued the letters on the canvases. And here is the final project.

I still don’t know how I feel about either of them, but here they are. I am hoping its like when you get your hair cut. At first you hate it, but then it starts to grow on you.

Mom, act surprised. I hope you like it!

September 17, 2012 by Stephanie

Where am I?

I know it has been awhile, but welcome to August and the first weeks on a college campus. I have not really had time to make crafts let alone write about them. I do apologize up front for the length, but I have a lot to say today.

These past few weeks, I have been submerged even farther into military life. Sometimes it is hard understanding that world when I am here in Iowa around no one in the service. But, over Labor Day, I was well educated on various factors of military living.

Tom was scheduled to deploy the first week of September, so I took vacation for a week to spend some much needed quality time with him, but also to learn how to navigate a base. Once you pass the highly decorated fences and ledges of Gate 4, a whole new world emerges. At first being on base is really intimidating. There are people with guns all around; helicopters and tanks are just hanging out as decoration. I mean, we are trained our whole lives to think that when we see people in military uniforms or tanks, there must be trouble. So my first thought is don’t take my hands of the steering wheel, drive the speed limit, and try not to attract any attention. So needless to say, I am freaking myself out as I am trying to take in the first few yards of my “new home”. Then I see a Bank of America, then the Craft building (Yes, calming down but then freaking out in excitement), then a Burger King, wait there are stop signs and street signs? What is this place?

The farther away that you get from any gate, the more normal and even tranquil base is. (Ok, well except the training areas and places that they store all the mobile units-then you remember it’s a base.) It is a city inside very secure and very pretty walls. Since Tom worked a few hours every day while we were there, Grace and I had a little bit of time every morning to explore our neighborhood, of which there are hundreds.

After reflecting on everything, and obviously feeling much more comfortable, I thought, this place is like Pleasantville– the movie with Tobey McGuire and Reese Witherspoon where they go to the idyllic town through a TV. Everything on the surface seems so perfect; people always friendly, everything you need is right there. If you have seen the movie, I need you to know that I am not comparing military bases to the rest of the plot of that movie, just the opening scenes of the freakishly friendly small town atmosphere.

I tried explaining this to Tom, and he argued at first saying, well we all have guns so it’s nothing like it. Then I took him on a walk with me, and he then understood. Everyone you meet says hi and wants to have a conversation. Doors wide open and kids playing in the street with no supervision (Coming from a big city, this just blew my mind.) Perfectly tailored lawns-mostly because the Army hires someone to do it. I mean everything just seems perfect. There are playgrounds around every corner in the neighborhoods. And they all have swings so they are obviously the best play grounds! And to top things off, at the top of our street there is a gas station (Shoppette) that, wait for it, sells ICEES! I mean what could be more perfect? I really don’t know how it could get better than a Cherry ICEE machine being within walking distance of my house.

All week, I felt like I was in a trance. It was very odd but awesome at the same time. Then having my first PX and Shoppette experiences rocked my world with the prices. Being a penny pincher, I am pretty sure my jaw never left the floor while we were shopping for basic necessities. The Army really tries to take care of you.

And did I mention there is a CRAFT building? Yes, that’s right, just play into my blog. They have classes for pottery and stained class and provide materials for projects for a small fee. They don’t have everything that a Hobby Lobby would, but it is a great work space for bigger projects such as furniture building that most families on base don’t necessarily have. What a wonderful world.

So what I am saying, is that if I didn’t want to, I would never have to leave the tall guarded gates of Ft. Campbell. They have anything and everything I would ever need. (Even a vet for Grace.) It was very comforting becoming more familiar with things.

And my family made me feel like I was really “in” when they called because they had gotten lost on base. “Oh yes, welcome to Pleasantville-ugh I mean Ft. Campbell. I will lead the way.” Don’t worry fam, I, too, was once nervous about my presence on the base, I remember the white knuckles. But it becomes old habit after a few times in and out of the gates to whip out that ID and flash a smile to the MPs. Oh and it made it more enjoyable when you have a dog in the back who apparently is not fond of MPs and decides this is when she will find her voice. (Grace, who never usually does more than a whimper, growled or barked at the MPs every time we went through the gates. Hilarious.)

My experience on base was great. I feel good about the impending move, and seeing our place really calmed a lot of fears. We are so well taken care of by the Army.

It was also nice to meet other soldiers, and a little scary. And by scary I mean, imagine lots of people like Tom. Crazy huh? One of his besties, I swear they came out of the womb together. They talk alike and even have similar contingency plans for when the zombies attack. (You think I am kidding, but we seriously have had a conversation about how to get a pulley system into our 2 story apartment so we can get food in without getting attacked. You learn to just go with it and enjoy the imagination, ugh I mean preparedness.) Anyway, it was comforting to finally meet people that he will be with on his deployment as well as those that will be close at home.

I also was able to meet significant others, which is also nice to hear my own thoughts being said from others. We had a nice BBQ at Tom’s buddy’s where we sat around a bon-fire and chatted away. Actually meeting these women gave me a little more confidence in what we are doing for our men and some solace that I am not alone in this experience. Although we didn’t get to know each other well, I truly enjoyed being able to meet all these people. Also another effect of Pleasantville: Base Edition, I gave Martin THREE hugs over the course of the week. Anyone who knows me, understands I don’t do physical touching. So yes, I was entranced by the military giddyness of wanting to be friends with everyone I encounter. Meeting these people really deepens the experience and makes it more real. Sometimes I feel like this is all a dream and Tom will be here next to me when I wake up.

Well that will not happen for another 9 months now. Tom officially left for deployment last week, and he is slowly making his way to his base overseas. There were a lot of emotions throughout the week. I freaked out with dread one night, the next I was beaming with pride. I kind of ran the gamete of emotions last week to be honest. I like being in control, and this is not easy for me to just go with the flow. There were parts of me that wanted to pack myself and Grace into his giant extra duffel bag because I was so scared I would never see him again. Then I would snap back into reality thinking, “1 out of 250,000 is killed. And that won’t be Tom.” Then I would think “what if he is that one?” This back and forth was my life last week. Exhausted. Then an overwhelming calm came over me once I accepted that he was gone.

The comfort though is that Tom and I have been able to talk pretty regularly through Facebook since he left. It’s not the best, but we have become experts in long distance communication. Well at least for us, we are. We understand what each other needs and when we need to be the strong one even if we aren’t there in person to do it. Yea, we are pretty awesome. Feel free to be jealous.

This was tested even more so today when I found out that after years of battling cancer and just watching his wife die a couple months ago, my grandpa passed away. You think that you can stay on top, but then you crest that hill and roller coaster plummets. It is moments like these that are the absolute hardest to be away from your “forever person.” Yea it is hard not having him here for the every day things, but when your world is shook to the core, you look for some stability. And for me that has been my relationship with Tom. He has always been able to ground me and be a rock for me. And I don’t write this to gain sympathy. My grandpa lived a full and wonderful life, and I was able to spend a lot of time with my grandparents while in grad school since they lived 20 minutes away. I was able to say goodbye without regrets and let them know how much they meant to me. And I also don’t regret supporting Tom with his dream to be in the Army. The distance is just a part of this experience that we have to accept. I tell my story about these challenges so that you don’t take your “forever person” for granted. Don’t waste the time you are lucky to have with them and find ways to still support each other when you are apart. Love so hard that they can still feel it when you aren’t around. These are lessons I have both from my Grandparents and Tom. I can always trust in that love to motivate me through.

As I mentioned, hugs give me the hebeegeebees, but I would give anything for Tom to be here to give me one now. It’s that safety net to make you feel better in any situation. Having him gone makes it hard to recover from the bad or to rejoice the good things. And yea, I have family and friends that I can lean on and share my stories with, which I have been so thankful for during this journey. Their continued support and love do help tremendously, but it is not Tom. It is simple as that. Sometimes I just want to call him up and say “I had this great conversation with a student, and I feel awesome. Love you, bye.” He lets me dork out about my work and celebrates with me. His comments of support lift me up in ways that aren’t describable. Who doesn’t love a good Jerry McGuire quote? “You {Tom} completes me.” So right now it is like I’m trying to figure out the puzzle without the edge pieces there. He knows me inside and out, and unfortunately someone else cannot take that place. Go figure-Tom is one of a kind. You have to just keep trucking on and again have faith in the love. And so I become really skilled at distracting myself and finding ways to channel that energy else where and save our news for a later day.

Hence the crafting distraction.

I have been wanting to do this particular item for a long time. Unfortunately, I was in such a hurry to work on this craft since my creative drought over the last month, I did not take before and after pictures.

Here are the steps of this craft.

1. Supplies: cookie sheet, spray paint, puffy paint, scrabble letters, magnets, glue gun, command strips. The flowers were given to me by my sister in law, so felt if you want to make those.

2. Spray paint the cookie sheet. This took a lot of coats to get it to the desired color. And be careful if you do spray paint. If you spray to much at one time, it will drip to the center. Also let it dry between each coat. I was not patient at first and tried layering on the paint which led to messiness, which led to me slowing down and adding a lot more coats.

3. I added the puff paint as an added pop.

4. I hot glued the flowers to the top for some more flare. I have been holding on to these for months trying to find the perfect project for them, and I really like how it turned out.

5. I put command strip hooks on the back to hang them up.

6. I put magnets on the back of each letter. You can buy magnet strip tape which may be cheaper than discs. I will probably have to go back and hot glue the magnets to the letter because the stickyness isn’t as great from the magnet tape.

7. Hang it up and make words.