Talks with Tom

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Talks with Tom #38

One of the struggles of being a police officer is the ever changing shifts. One day he is off and trying to be an active member of our family during the day, and the next he has to be a night owl going to work at 8pm.

This was a conversation about Tom trying to retrain his body to be awake at night.

Tom:  I slept from 7 (pm)-12, 1-3 (am), and then 7-11 (am).

Me: I started laughing once he said 1-3, because he had originally wanted to take a couple hour nap at 7pm so he could stay awake over night and then sleep the next day.

Tom: I won’t get into it but I got into my bivy sack and slept on a boot at 1am.

Me: still laughing…

Tom: In the storage room.

Me:  So you got out of our comfortable bed at midnight, to go to sleep downstairs in the storage room on a boot?

Tom:  I wondered if it was still as comfortable as it was in Afghanistan or if just anything was comfortable over there. And it turns out if you were infantry, it is always comfortable.

Me:  laughing

Don’t mind me enjoying the big bed all to myself.

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Talks with Tom #37

It’s been awhile since I have shared snippets of our conversations. Here are a couple snippets of talks we have had lately.

Tom tries to come get me from work every other week for a lunch date since our schedules are so wonky. We were discussing which restaurant to go to this week.

Tom: How about we go to that Greek place?

Me: I can’t. I just went there today.

Tom:  It’s a restaurant not a tampon. You can go there again.

And just in time for America this week: this conversation happened over a meal recently.

Tom:  I inhaled a little bit of bacon. Very American.

What funny conversations have you had recently with friends or significant others?

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A Father’s Interview

I still find it funny that on our first date, Tom explicitly told me he did not want to have kids.

Here we are 8 years later celebrating his first Father’s Day.

Father's Day GPThese pictures were part of Tom’s Father’s Day gift. We are going to blow them up and hang them up in his new workshop.

I asked the new dad to reflect a little.

What was one thing you weren’t expecting as a parent? Just how much I could love a kid. I just had no idea.

How has being a dad changed you? I worry a lot. So much of the things I used to worry about for myself, I worry for him now.

What has scared you the most about parenthood? Now it’s my job to turn my kid into a decent human being. It’s one thing to do that for yourself, but to get someone else to the point where they are a decent human being is a huge task. So much of the current generation are mean and self-entitled, and I want George to grow up knowing that his failures and successes are his alone.

What have you loved/enjoyed the most about being a dad? When I get to Brenda’s (our baby sitter) and he knows who I am, and then smiles because I am there. Also using George as an excuse not to do social things because I am a homebody.

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What is one thing you did as a child that you want to do with our kids? Just the outdoors in general.

What do you want to teach George? Lots of things:  How to be self-reliant, like no matter what happens he can handle it and thrive in that situation. Success in life is 100% based on the work you are willing to put in. I want to teach him to be the kind of adult that puts his morals and integrity before anything else.

Anything you are looking forward to in your 2nd year as a dad? Giving George the house and the room to explore that he deserves. I am excited to be able to finally communicate and find out what’s going on in that little mind.

What is your advice to new dad’s? Don’t listen to the naysayers. Your life isn’t over once you become a dad. Do it your way. No matter how you raise your kid or what decision you make, someone out there will say you are a bad parent. Parent the way that you think is the best for your kid.

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Tom is such a sweet dad. He is quirky and real with George. I love watching the two of them together, and their relationship is already a special one. I can see that it is hard for Tom to be away from George on his long shifts. He tries to make the most of the time they have together, even if that means that he just is holding George’s hand in the middle of the night while George is asleep. George just loves his daddy, and I can tell he already sees him as his own hero.

It has been a wild ride so far since we became parents.

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I cannot wait to see their relationship blossom even more. Can you imagine Talks with Tom AND George? I can’t wait.

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Talks with Tom #36

Tom has a problem with laundry. (As in it is all over the house.) It is something I have had to accept that the entire house has become his closet. The things you learn about someone once you start living with them…

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I think there is a conversation on a daily basis where Tom is trying to find some article of clothing. (To which I usually respond either out loud or in my head that he would be able to find things if he put things away…just saying Tom.)

This is one such conversation.

Tom-My socks disappear at a rate of a billion a day.

Me-I don’t think those numbers are accurate.

Tom-Those numbers are spot on. It’s been confirmed by CNN.

Me talking to George-Are you going to be an elaborator like your dad?

Tom-Brian Williams confirmed those statistics while he was in a plane crash in the Vietnam War.

All this was said as he was digging through laundry baskets and the inevitable load that never makes it out of the dryer. (Which is my problem–I can never seem to remember that there is laundry in the dryer…)

Do you or your significant other make the house your closet? Are you notorious as well with leaving loads in the washer or dryer? Really where do all the socks go?

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Talks with Tom #35

We like to talk about our someday house, or our dream home.

Tom loves to dream up what he is going to build and plan for different intricacies of our future place.

We would like to have a pool someday. And no dream home pool doesn’t come with a lazy river.

We ended up talking at length about this lazy river, and this was a comment Tom made about them.

It wouldn’t be a lazy river. It would be a “less matured” river, like a “stuck in the rut” kind of river.

Because a lazy river, can’t just be a lazy river.

And no matter what kind of river we have, Grace is not getting into it.

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Do you make plans for your dream home? Do you already live in your dream home? Who doesn’t love a good lazy river kind of day? (Is it summer yet?)