Boomerang

“Whatever you give to the person standing next to you, it eventually comes back to you.”

This week I will start my last closing as a housing professional, for the immediate future anyway. It is hard to believe in two weeks I will be three states away and about to embark on a whole new life:  one with my husband and one without Residence Life.

Since I have been living in the residence halls since I graduated high school ten years ago (minus my one lone year off campus while student teaching, but still within spitting distance of the residence halls lol), it is hard to imagine not living in a college town and on campus. I have spent a lot of time recently reflecting on the past 9 years and how much residence life has impacted me. I found out who I was in the halls. I found some of my closest friends. I found that my passion is teaching but not how I had imagined it my whole life. Residence Life has given me so much from being a resident to student staff member to professional. Now I have to let it go and cut the cord per say. This girl is moving off campus for reals this time.

Not really knowing how to pay homage to my residence life history or in the right mindset to say goodbye, I started scouring my photos. There lies so many memories. So many late nights, events, conversations, meals, tears, laughter-such richness in these photos. And of course as I have spent the evening looking at these again, I was sent back to those times and laughed and cried all over again.

Here are just some of the highlights and in no particular order:

1. There are too many things that happened my freshmen year to even begin describing it here. I could have a whole tribute to 3rd floor Hosey-lounge parties, dress-up, hallway convos, one and only all-nighter, crushes, the drama, etc. That community will always hold a special place in my heart. I can only smile.

2. Playing CA sardines in Natt/Brad.

3. Jello Fights

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4. Warrensburg Police escorting the Yeater CAs to the Yeater Porch so we could see what it looked like.

5. The challenge of an all female floor and “I love my CO!”

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6. Conferences across the nation and the opportunity to travel (Missouri, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, Wisconsin, Illinois, South Carolina, North Carolina, Massachusetts, Virginia, Georgia, Florida, Washington, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Pennsylvania were all states I was able to see more of because of housing opportunities.)

7. University of Central Florida intern trio and shenanigans

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8. Upper Friley Staff jumping into Ada Hayden during training. Take it to the Top!

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9. SHOEBOX!

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10. Geer Flood. Yep this is a happy memory.

11. Dispelling the myths of the haunted 3rd floor Yeater.

12. Getting lost in my own building. Oh Friley you are too much like Hogwarts with your hidden floors and stairwells to no where.

13. Camping outside of RHD Jamie’s office during closing.

14. Themed rounds with my other half. Stbizzle is on call!

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15. 4th Natt ladies faking a roommate conflict so they could TP my room.

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16. Friley Snowball (2011, 2012, 2013)

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17. Lipsyncs.

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18. Most spirited staff during RALI and spending time each day to make our costumes and plan our entrances-hilarious

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19. Friley Penny Wars being most of the student contribution to United Way

20. My last Upper Friley staff meeting.

20. Being able to witness students coming alive and be passionate about a cause. Seeing what students are capable of has been an honor.

21. Watching communities come together in times of triumph and sorrow

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22. I have learned so many skills and things about myself within crisis management, event planning, counseling skills, professionalism, how to be human, and more. And yet, I still have not been able to master how many pizzas a group of college students needs.

These 22 statements barely begin to describe all that has happened over the years, but you have to start somewhere. Even as I read this over, I can think of other things or want to add other pictures, but as my husband says I need to learn to keep my stories short. Ugh, this is why saying goodbye is hard. There is just so much to say!

Residence life is a special place. It has been a boomerang for me. There were many days that I thought I was giving all that I was and sacrificed all that I had. But as I sit here about to embark on my final days as a Hall Director, I realize how much it has done for me since that first day in 355 Hosey in 2003. Residence life has given me more than I could have ever imagined, hoped for, or expected. It provided me a place to be what I needed to be in the time I needed to be it. It challenged me to grow up and become a much stronger individual. It has been my home.

I am sure I will still be uncovering lessons from my time in the halls for years to come. And there are so many people and events that will make me smile and make me a reslifer at heart.

All I can say now is thank  you to all of those who have come and gone over the past decade. Each of you have influenced who I am today. From those of you who made hard boiled eggs with me in my crock pot to those who drank countless cups of coffee with me or those who ran down the hill at Death Valley. I cannot begin to say thank you enough for all the love, support, and time that has been spent to make this all happen. To make “me” happen.

Filled with gratitude and humbled as I say goodbye to this weird but joyous life in the residence halls.

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Now what am I going to do with all my free time?

Hmm maybe more things like social painting!

If you have not heard of social painting, you should really look into it. It is where an art professional hosts an event for people to come and follow along on a painting. Ours was hosted in a restaurant, so we could order food and drinks while we painted. There was a specific painting design, and the teacher guides you through the basic idea and is there for support and guidance through the painting process.

This is one of the best outings I have had in a long time. And it was pretty reasonable too! We bought ours on Groupon, but I think even regular price is still fairly cheap. Your “ticket” is for the event, and all art supplies are included. All social painting events may vary on the details so make sure you read the fine lines before you participate to know what you are getting into.

It was really fun though, and it has definitely got me wanting to paint like crazy!

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It was really cool seeing how each of us interpreted the same design so drastically differently. I love art.

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Apparently, I picked one of the hardest designs to do. Whoops. But I think we all did a great job! And it was fun to do it with a group of friends!

What is your favorite college memory from living on-campus?

I Would Like to Thank the Academy

Thank you Hollywood for the romantification of college life.

Working on a college campus everyday you get to see some pretty amazing things. People figuring out who they want to be, making life long friendships, etc etc.

Movies and TV do depict these struggles in their stories, but OMG do you have to do it with all the exaggeration and plot twists?

I grew up watching shows like Gilmore Girls, Boy Meets World, Saved by the Bell, Dawson’s Creek and Felicity where they go off to college and things just get crazy! They set us up for unrealistic expectations of how the college life should be.

Let’s break down a recent episode of Glee-“Sweet Dreams” which aired on 4/18. Finn just enrolled in the University of Lima.

Here are some of my thoughts and observations:

1. A comment was made that college is like the perfect bubble between being a kid and being an adult and that you have the rest of your life to grow up. To an extent, I agree. However, the choices you make now can come back to you. Who in the room still is working on erasing their student debt situation? The students at college often don’t realize that they ARE adults. They have to make big life decisions at this point. Granted there is much more support here to do so and it is a safe place to explore different options, but you still need to be responsible for the choices you make and you can’t avoid it forever.

2. Hollywood Dorms are not the same as real life dorms. Yes there are buildings across the nation that are beautiful and state of the art and newly modeled. But the reality is that most residence halls were built decades ago and departments keep up with renovations as they are able. Gilmore Girls was by the far the worst example of what your housing will look like. Hello fireplace?

Hollywood glamorizes what these spaces will look like. They are always so spacious with gorgeous bay windows. Of course they will look nice on TV; you have millions in your set design budget. How are universities supposed to keep up with that expectation? Speaking as a residence life person, I think that most universities do a top notch job supplying the most comfortable space for students and are constantly looking for the practical ways they can meet student needs. And I am not trying to say that the halls don’t look nice. They do, but I think when they do not look exactly like the do on TV then I have to deal with the upheaval when parents and students don’t like that there is no fireplace in the room.

3. Slip and Slides in the residence halls. Way over done on the silver screen. Can we get something original here? Do I need to have my custodial folks tell you why this won’t happen? And not to mention all the waivers that would need to be signed for this? The policy violations that occur in the media are astounding. I will admit, I find them humorous to laugh and shake my head at how that confrontation would go down. I have had some funny things happen that I have had to confront over my time as a live in staff member. There is usually one thing every year that I am shocked by, but I think the media says that it is ok to go hog wild crazy when you get to college. There are no rules right?

4. Inevitably college students are made to look like they are dumb and gullible. There was a scene where two girls paid with their bras to do the slip and slide, and several other scenes depict traditional students with no common sense. Come on. Students do make silly mistakes and bad calls, but they deserve a little more credit than that. If we want them to act like adults, we need to treat them like it. Raise the bar a little bit. This is how we get things like Dance Marathon, Relay for Life, scholarship runs, new initiatives for sustainability, and countless other things.

5. Never once did you see Finn in class. Uh? You have to go to class folks! College wouldn’t be college without the CLASSES!

6. Greek life is depicted as drunk and stupid when the two fraternity men asked Finn and Puck to join the fraternity after a party. I was not Greek, so I cannot say fully what the experience was, but I know many who do affiliate with Greek life. Yes, I am not naive to say that they don’t have some pretty “neat” parties. But they do have some value besides how well can you perform their stereotypical keg-stand. The Greek system provides a support system for students, and they have some of the highest retention rates as a group. These groups provide a place for so many students. The leadership skills that are taught here often land them jobs after college, not to mention the networking helps. They do philanthropies and have school spirit. All have GPA requirements and many offer tutoring assistance to help meet these. Educate yourself a little bit before you judge someone by the letters on their jacket.

7. At the end of the episode, you hear Finn say that he had the Dean arrange that he could help out at Lima High for college credit. Um you just started school two weeks ago, bub. You are not already in your practicum classes. Often you see the romance of college and don’t see the studying and time that it takes to get to those practicum and experiential classes. And you can’t just tell the Dean what you want and poof that happens. Usually, there is a lot more paperwork involved.

I will say that the episode redeemed itself with Puckerman’s speech to Finn towards the end to get his act together to be accountable for being the best teacher he can be.

This is rarely the focus of the plot though. College is a place for you to discover pieces of yourself and grow as a person. Sometimes you come in knowing exactly what you want to do. Sometimes you change your major 7 times. Sometimes you drop out and come back. Sometimes you find clubs out of chance that will change the course of your life. Sometimes nothing goes your way. Sometimes everything goes your way. You never know what will happen when you roll off that loft bed and slip on those shower shoes. That is part of the excitement of exploring college life.

I hear so often when I have students in my office talking about their choices that they wanted to “have the normal college experience” or that “everyone is doing it.” I would beg to differ. I think media says this is the fairyland college experience and people in college try to emulate that or get disappointed when they can’t. Get into reality folks.

Don’t expect to be best friends with your roommate or everyone you meet. Don’t expect every night to be a drunk fest. Don’t expect to have things handed to you just because you asked for them from someone in higher administration. Don’t expect zero responsibility-you need to wake yourself up each morning and you have to attend classes to get a degree. There is a place for everyone on a college campus, but you do have to keep up with your classes in order to stay here.

I would say, come in expecting to learn something. You will learn something, guaranteed.

College is a wonderful place to do many things. You find out what you are made of. There are opportunities to do things that you may ever have the opportunity to do elsewhere. You can rebel and have your Felicity moment where you cut off all your hair to “free” yourself. You learn how to express yourself here, and there are so many things you can see and be here. There are so many doors to open and explore. I see students accomplish great things every day, and I cannot be more excited to continue working in Higher Education. But I need students to realize that Glee and other shows do not do our systems justice.

Although, you can expect that the Harlem Shake will occur everywhere just as Finn described.

I do realize that this is how they sell the story with these outlandish lifestyles and grandiose ideas. People want to see that and that is how they keep us engaged. And for the most part, students realize that Hollywood doesn’t depict real life. Thank goodness.

But every year, you get at least one student…

Speaking of college, my craft tonight goes out to my lovely college students that I have the pleasure of working with each week. We had our last staff meeting this week, so I wanted to give them a memento from our time together in Friley.

I was able to get tiles from the old dining center in our building from our facilities staff that were going to be thrown away. Then I got Iowa State scrapbook paper, yellow card stock, Iowa State stickers, felt stickers, mod podge and clear acrylic paint. Making some coasters!

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First I cut out the yellow cardstock to fit the tiles. Then I created a design for each one with the ISU scrapbook paper and stickers.

One you do that, then put one layer of mod podge on the tile. Carefully place the scrapbook paper where you want it and roll out all the air from under the paper. The mod podge will dry it to the tile. Then you wait 15 minutes and do at least 3 more coats of mod podge. Each coat you need to wait until it is fully dry to do the next one.

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You can see that at first it will look milky white but it will dry clear, so don’t panic at first.

Once you have all the coats of mod podge done then you want to do a few coats of the acrylic clear coat which will make them waterproof, which as it turns out is really helpful for coasters.

Then you let it sit over night to let it completely set/dry. After this was done I took the felt (the black pad in the picture above), and cut it into to squares to stick to the bottom of the tile so they won’t scratch tables as much. Being used floor tiles, I had to be careful to make sure I covered some of the bumps from all the crud they put on tile flooring. If you buy new tiles from Lowes, this should be fairly easy to do.

And there you go. A little piece of Friley Hall to take with us.

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Lean In

Now that Tom is back, I keep getting the question, “How is he adjusting back?”

I will say that my husband is very good at compartmentalizing things. It is a skill that I envy at times. He is good at separating things and knowing when to appropriately deal with them. So for the most part, I would say that the adjustment is going really well. He is awesome, what can I say?

There have been a few minor things for us to work through, but you have to make adjustments in any relationship when circumstances around you change. You learn and adapt with the growing pains. You talk it out and figure it out together. If you don’t then you are just stubborn. I will admit, I have had my own few moments of stubbornness since Tom has gotten back which I have since learned the error of my ways. In most cases, we have picked up right where we left off when he left in September. But there have been small nuances that I noticed that I tried to change without understanding. Because my world hadn’t physically changed, I forgot in those moments that so much had for Tom. Seeking to understand was something that I preach every day at work, and here I was assuming that I know everything about Tom. Whoops.

There are many things about the deployment that I still don’t know or will never understand. It is what it is. He experienced it so I don’t have to. Regardless if I think about it or not, the deployment is part of who he is now. I just need to be patient and willing to ask questions and not always get an answer. Ain’t that the pits though?

You will ALWAYS be learning about your partner. Do I know Tom the best? Absolutely, but things are constantly changing for both of us. I needed to be more aware of the things that I was saying and how I was reacting to him. Yes there have been some things that are different, but that doesn’t mean that deep down he isn’t the man that I married. And I am sure we will have to adjust again once I move on base with him this summer. Just wait until my OCD comes out when we reorganize. (“You put those spoons where?”)

Everyone has little quirks that we have to accept and move past lovingly. The best way we are getting through that is being open and honest with each other. We both have to be patient and be willing to say “I’m sorry.” That’s about all you can ask for really. Like I said, we are doing just dandy adjusting back to both being in the states and we are creating our happily ever after for once.

Life is a constant roller coaster. It goes a lot smoother if you lean in a little bit and change your position based on the turns. I am serious on that one. I rode roller coasters for a living for a few years. (Yay Worlds of Fun!) If you sit back against the seat in resistance, you don’t enjoy the ride as much, and it may seem bumpier or a “rough ride.” Life is just like this. You have to lean in a bit on the corners and just ride it out. And sometimes you put your hands in the air and scream it out. Who doesn’t love a little air time?

This week my craft comes from my staff. We do fun on ones once a semester to change up our normal weekly office meetings. They get to choose what fun activity we do, and this time one of my staff wanted to make something for our event. So craft away we did!

She bought a canvas bag, ribbon, liquid stitch, and the t-shirt she wanted to use.

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Liquid stitch is awesome! I had never heard of it before Megan introduced me to it. You just have to iron it! Mind blown.

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Megan did most of the work. I just assisted with cutting and placement holding. But who doesn’t love crafting as part of your job?

Go the Distance

“But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be that man who walk a thousand miles to fall down at your door”

About a month ago, I was coming home from a run with Grace and we were jamming out to this song. Ok, I was jamming out to it and Gracie just pranced around me like we were playing a game. But the lyrics got me thinking about the feeling of love and wanting to be where your person is. I know goooey oooey. What can I say? I love Thomas.

There are 10,000 miles currently between Tom and I. 10,000 miles. Hmmmm. Bummer.

My brain started going into overdrive as I was stretching from my run. I then logged my miles on my Charity Miles app, then whammo.

Idea Lightbulb.

I am currently training for my third half marathon, which will probably be my last. I don’t want to destroy my knees even more than they already are. It also takes a lot of time to train for these races. I am however the type of person who needs a goal to be productive with my workouts and get my lazy behind off the couch. I need something to attain or strive for. So this idea fit perfectly while also cutting back on half marathons, which have been my goal for the past 2 years.

I have decided to log all my miles I do whether outside or on a machine since I do live in a place where cold temps and snow are frequent and prevents me from running outside. Now here is where the song comes into play. My goal is to do 1,000 miles during 2013–just to be that woman who would walk a thousand miles. Eventually, I would like to log all 10,000 miles that have separated us, but it was not realistic to do that in one year. I would have to do at least 27 miles a day…ugh no.

The second part to this resolution is that I would like to log at least 500 of the miles on Charity Miles. This is a great app for your phone that will log your workout. It will chart walks, runs, and biking. For each mile that you do they will donate 25 cents (run or walk) or 10 cents (bike) to the charity of your choice. They have a lot of different charities to pick from so I highly recommend it for anyone who has a smart phone. And it is free to you as the “athlete.” I wanted to find some way to give back to soldiers who give up so much for me, so every time I use it, I pick the Wounded Warrior Project. Granted, I know that it is only $125 if I meet 500 miles, but it’s still something. And again, I like having something to accomplish. And maybe once we move, I will have better luck with the weather in KY to up my mileage with my walks with Grace.

So I am appeasing knees (and my husband) by not training so hard, but I will still have a goal for my workouts. Plus it is a way for me to feel connected to Tom while we are still 10,000 miles apart. Since December 14, I have done 66.38 miles. I wish it was more, but with the holidays, weather, staff training, and being sick for the last week, I wasn’t able to run as much as I liked. But I will get there.

Every mile matters.

But for now the crafting matters!

This entry isn’t the biggest craft, but it was all about learning how to use my CricutMini, which is awesome!

These were my door decs and the new bulletin board I did for my staff.

I used the CricutMini to cut out all my letters and shapes. Minutes instead of hours…and no scissor hand cramps. Life changer.

I used Crayola paint chips and plain cardstock for the door decs. And the BB has all of our baby pictures with short tidbits of ourselves for residents to guess who is who.

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If anyone ever wants to go for a walk, I would be happy to reinstate “life walks” as part of my life!

Or you can help me do this in the neighborhood…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ib3Duz_6a9M

There is no “I” in Team

The closer that we get to deployment day, the more I realize that my independence is going to be challenged. I am used to doing things on my own. I am very self-motivated, and usually don’t need others to push me through life’s obstacles. That is not to say that I don’t know how to work in a team (this is pretty much my daily life at work), but when it comes to personal issues I have always been good at managing things on my own. At least, I think I am- says the independent woman in me.

Well, when you become an Army wife, you instantly become part of a network of people that is unlike any other. It is a place where you attend things because that is part of your duty as a wife. (The feminist in me just starts screaming…) You don’t really “deal” with life on your own. This was super hard for me to adjust to. Most of you know Tom, and know that he has a strong personality, but never is he really able to tell me what to do. Nor am I able to really tell him what to do. We work things out together and compromise. We just do what we need to do to be awesome, simple as that. So naturally, being “told” that these “wife” meetings are supposed to be my job kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be there to support my husband just as he has supported me through my work. Needless to say, getting used to being the “dutiful” wife has been an adjustment. And maybe I am having a harder time with it because I still have yet to move into the world of an army base where this is just every day life. I am sure that I will be so grateful and relieved when I actually do move for this support network to be in place. And what I am saying may sound like I am unhappy with this group, which is not the case. I do appreciate being kept in the loop since Tom’s world is about to be turned upside down. And these women know the best way to be of support not only to our partners but also to each other. I am just not used to my husband defining who I am, and this is a huge adjustment for me to make. I mean my life’s work is all about respecting everyone’s individuality and being your own person. So when I hear these messages from the Army like “Oh your wife could move here with you to work at the pool” you can see how there could be some frustration and some “You don’t know me!” attitude going through my head.

God knows me best though, for He keeps having the Army throw little life lessons at me to get out of my stubborn independent ways. For example, last week I received an email from Tom’s Platoon Sgt’s wife. She was letting me know that any time that I am not at my permanent address that they have on file that I need to make her aware of those trips. At first I was really frustrated because I felt like part of my personal freedom was taken away, and I was back under my parent’s house/rules. I mean really? I am 27, and I have to report when I go on a trip with an address, time, and all other specific details? However, the more I thought about this network and their role, the more I understood the importance of these details. And then the somberness of it hit me. They will need to be able to notify me if something happens to my husband. Bam. Nothing like doom to bring you down a peg. So it is moments like these that bring me back to reality that I am not in this deployment by myself, no matter how much I try to handle it on my own. And ultimately, it’s not about me. Life lesson…done.

And in the spirit of team, student staff training began this week, which brought on all kinds of team goodness. Yes, we did the human knot and answered personal questions off a ball. All week, I have been preaching to my staff about how they are not alone and that the team is their biggest asset, and many other teamy one liners like that. ( I should really listen to my own advise huh?)

I will say that this is one team that I have no problem utilizing to the full extent. I have a great group of colleagues that I know that I can call for help at any time. I also am fortunate to work with some of the best students on campus. I am biased I know, but they are a pretty cool crew. These are the people that I know will keep me sane and grounded in the upcoming months. Although Tom and I are about to go through the toughest part of our relationship, I know that this team I have here at Iowa State are a wonderful group of people that I can lean on at anytime. I do feel truly blessed to know that I have that support here.
And fortunately, ISU allows for my creative side to come out! I was able to do several “crafts” this week.

One is pretty simple. I miss doing bulletin boards, but I never have time to do them like I did when I was a student. So I carved out some time this summer to make sure I was able to do our opening staff board. Like I said, it is simple, but it was fun to make! And there is a little satisfaction and a “Yes!” cheer going through my head when I see people stopping to read what I put up.

The second project was our end of training event, and by far the most exciting craft to date! It took a little effort from the entire staff, which makes it better than anything I could have made on my own. Plus it was a really fun way to get re-energized and not so bummed after stuffing opening packets for what seemed like a century.

So we started off with a drop cloth from Lowe’s and some duct tape for our words.

My partner at work had some spare syringes from his numerous medical trips which happen to be great paint throwers. We gave one to each staff member and lined the outside of the cloth with bowls of paint. Then you just let them go at it until all the paint is gone.

We let it dry for a couple of days. My advice if you try to do this is to not let it completely dry before you take of the tape. Our paint became crunchy and some was pulled off with the tape, which we don’t think would happen if the paint was still semi-damp.

I think it looks awesome! As my husband put it, this would have been cliche to do in the 90s but since we are doing it in 2012 we are doing a cool throwback.

So now this is a great memento that we have at the desk that helps create a welcoming atmosphere to all of our residents and guests.

And it was a great TEAM effort!