It is what it is

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Oh Hey Target, Just Go Ahead And Take My Paycheck

I think we have all been there. We walk into Target on a mission for one thing, and we come out with a cart full of random things.

Every. Single. Time.

Have you seen this video?

Pretty much standard routine when you have a Target trip planned.

I read this list a while back, and it has inspired me to make my own. Now that we are in the shopping season (with the holidays and a new house), I felt I should make myself a list of things I should avoid the next dozen times we go to the store looking for light-bulbs.

Here are the things I cannot resist from Target…

1. Watches- This is an accessory I wear everyday, and Target makes me feel the need to match the watch to my outfit of the day much like my shoe collection.

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2. Carter Baby Clothes-scratch that…any baby clothes. Even before I had George, I wanted to buy all those damn things. I mean seriously outfits that make babies look like adults need to be in my house. And all those footie pajamas!

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3. Scarves- This is why I have a wall of them that can also double as decoration. Fall, winter, spring, summer, I don’t care. I wear scarves all year round.

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4. Cardigans- I just want them all. I will take one in every color and pattern thank you.

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5. Swimsuits- I don’t even wear all of the ones I have, why do I need more? Because they are pretty, that’s why.

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6. Decorative Pillows- Because my couch needs to feel pretty as well. And there is nothing that makes me feel like an adult more than seeing pretty new pillows in the living room. Ok maybe bills make me feel like an adult, but at least pillows make me feel good about that status.

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7. Collegiate room decorations-Hello I am 29, and I don’t live in a small square room anymore. Why is this neon clock and matching cork board so appealing? (FYI I normally don’t buy these things, but I feel the urge every visit. And I will stand in this aisle for an unreasonable amount of time contemplating how I will use said college decoration. It is a time sucker aisle for me. You may ask, then why do you go down that aisle. I don’t know, and you can take your judgy eyes elsewhere.)

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8. Athletic garb- Because if I buy new workout clothes, I will feel more inclined to workout. That generally works for about 2 weeks…

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9. All the stationery, planners and journals- I just can’t even. I need to write in everything. The thank yous, the notes, planning all the activities, the to-do lists…Target is getting my life organized people. And doing it fashionably at the same time! I can’t even recall a time that I have not walked out with a new set of cards.

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10. Seasonal kitchen towels- They are generally in the $1 aisle, and this is about as festive as my decorating goes for most holidays.

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Now what did I need again? Let me pull out my list (paper provided by Target) to check!

Also this serves as a nice Christmas list if anyone wants to know what to get me.

Have you ever been sucked in by Target? What are your “can’t avoid” items? Will I see you in the same aisle staring at the same things?

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The Job Offer

I am so happy to share the news that Tom also has the job of his dreams! He waited for the last decade to hear this call. And this was his reaction to the excitement:

Tom-It’s not that it’s a job offer. It’s that it is THE job. Like if a genie said I could have any job, I would pick this one. Or maybe an astronaut. I want to live on the space station but with the flexibility of coming home every night.

He will be starting his new job as a police officer here in the next couple weeks. I could not be more proud of him! He has been waiting so long for this dream to come to fruition. Despite so many nay-sayers out there, he kept at it and added on credentials so departments could not say no. And here we are!

He will be going through the police academy for three months at the start of the new year. It will be much different than trainings that he has had in the past because he comes home every night, but it will be tough none the less.

There are parts of me that are a little scared of this profession. It seems as though we celebrated him leaving one dangerous profession to go straight into another one. There are a lot of similarities but a lot that will be different as well.

We are in a time where every move of a police officer is being watched and many fingers are being pointed at them. I am afraid that there are blanket statements being made about police officers because of the actions of a few. Because of this, I feel that many departments will not be supported by their communities and officers will be left hanging There is also the possibility that they will have even bigger targets on their backs. It scares me that many of them will be alone now. I hope that people realize that there are thousands of officers out there that put their life on the line for this country, but unfortunately now all of them are being put in this “bad and untrustworthy” category just because they wearing a badge.

Not all cops are bad. In fact, I have read it in many places that less than 1% of that profession are doing things that are corrupt. Which is a better rate than you can find in most professions.

Blaming the masses never helps any group.

Do I think that there needs to be change in this country? Absolutely.

We all need to be a little more human. We need to listen more to the complexity of the situation, and that includes both sides.

We just need to listen more period.

What I think is happening instead of having compassion is that people are using hate to make change, which in my opinion changes nothing. Or changes things, but not for the betterment of the whole entity. But I digress.

I know that being in law enforcement is Tom’s dream, and he is going to be a great cop. Much like his dream to be in the military, I know that he goes into it not for the heroism or for the accolades. He goes into this job because he wants to make a difference.

Throughout my career, I have had the pleasure of working with some fantastic officers who put it all out there for their communities and the students we work with. They have always wanted to act in a way to make positive change. I always look forward to that partnership. On many occasions they made my job easier because of their actions (whether it was reactive or proactive).

Here are a couple videos that serve as a reminder of the definition of a cop. These are videos to highlight that there are moments where decisions have to be made in split second to save lives. Watch this and this. Sorry for the language and some of the images shown., but it is the reality that I think is overlooked while fingers are pointed. This article is a little more tarty in how it gets the message across, but I think there are some good points about some double standards we have for the profession. They [police officers] deal with some pretty heavy things; things that most of us could not fathom doing once in a lifetime let alone every day. While I do think there is a difference because of some of the things cops are tasked with doing and there are expectations because of that grave responsibility, I just don’t understand the mentality of putting them all in a box when we go to evaluate their effectiveness.

These are sides I think that we all like to forget in the midst of the troubles in our society.

For those of us who are close to a cop, it is all too real to accept they may not come home today.

And while I know that there are people who may disagree with me and say that I don’t see the injustice that is going on, believe me, I see it. I am seeing it in a lot of places.

I may not have the personal perspective to speak about every injustice, I do have the personal perspective of watching my husband embark on the path to take another oath to serve and protect. Another oath to put his life on the line. So I am speaking from my view and my circle, and I acknowledge my privileged with that.

To be honest with you though, I am stricken with fear that he won’t come home because something went array. Or that something could happen that will cost him his dream.

My husband could be Darren Wilson. They are the same age and the same build. Would Tom have reacted the same way? Maybe yes maybe no, but it is possible for him to find himself in a similar situation. It is hard for me not to see that, and I understand that I need to unpack so many things with that complexity. I do know that Tom is going to do what is within his means to protect this community against threats and come home to George and I. He will react how he was trained and will make a judgement call to that situation. Some people may not agree with that mentality, but I am going to stand behind him as he goes into this career.

While they have some terrible things they have to face, I am excited to see how Tom infuses himself in our community. He has a deep love for his hometown. Seriously he could be a walking billboard for the place, and I am fairly positive he has tried convincing all of our friends to move here. I know that he is going to have a positive impact through his job and plans to give back in so many ways. I see Tom doing things like this, this, and this. Oh and this.

Police Officers are to be community builders and helpers. This is how we grew up knowing them, and I want people to see my husband that way too.

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Adulting

Hello my name is Stephanie. I am 29 and a half years old.

Clearly half birthdays are still important to me.

I will also admit I have never searched for a place to live on my own.

Again, I am almost 30 years old, and I have never gone on the house hunt before.

Since I was born, someone else has picked out my housing for me.

Obviously until I graduated high school I lived where my parents told me to..ie their house.

I lived in the residence halls as an undergrad for four years. I turned in an application, and they assigned me a room or a staff once I was a CA.

I jumped in a lease with two friends my super senior year for an apartment my best friend was already living in. No searching needed since she had everything already set. I just had to sign on the dotted line. No pressure.

Then I proceeded to live in the residence halls again, this time as a professional staff member and in a provided apartment, for the next five years.

Then the last year and a halfish, the Army provided Tom and I with a duplex.

There was that one summer where a couple of my friends and I thought having a summer apartment was a good idea. We all kind of jumped on that search and obviously our priorities as sophomores not wanting to live with our parents for 3 months were really high. So again no pressure.

Fast forward to a month ago when I officially became an adult. (Because having two degrees, being married, and having a kid didn’t quite seal the deal for me.)

This past month was the first time I had to look for housing for real.

Stressful.

Luckily, we were staying with my in-laws so we didn’t have to rush the process too much. Tom and I were pretty particular about what we wanted since we know we will be in this abode for at least the next two years with a growing kid. On the flip side, we also knew this place wasn’t permanent so it didn’t need to be perfect.

We knew we wanted to rent and not buy. We weren’t ready for the buying process and didn’t want to put ourselves under a mortgage in a place we don’t see a forever in. We really only want to do that once, which I know may be unrealistic but at least we knew this wasn’t the time for the first mortgage. So renting now gives us some time to save and really be able to look for that perfect place.

We had a price range that we wanted to stay in and some requirements to meet. Our main priorities were 3 bedrooms, at least 1.5 bath (but we really wanted two), and the ability to fence in the yard.

Other than that, I had no idea what I was doing. I searched mainly on Zillow, Hotpads, and Craigslist. Yes Craigslist.

We kept running into roadblocks mostly because of the dogs. We would find a perfect house, but they would not allow a fence. Or they would let us have a fence but only one dog. Or they let you have dogs and a fence but had to pay a $600 pet deposit and additional rent each month…You get the idea.

We were also trying to stay within a certain area so our commutes weren’t astronomical. Tom and I will be working in two different cities that are a half hour apart so we were trying to split the difference if we could.

I spent every lunch break for a few weeks calling every listing that fell into our range. Disappointment one after the other.

May I also let you know that being spoiled into having housing chosen for you all this time makes you really impatient. I was really discouraged (read delusional) that it didn’t happen in a matter of days. I just wanted to have a place to live!

I went and saw a few, and we fell in love with a couple.

Who knew that the holidays were a big time to move? Many places we loved, someone else beat us to it.

Then we found it.

It was a duplex right on the edge of town with quick easy access to the highway.

Four bedrooms. Two full bath. Fenced in backyard. AND a garage.

AND in our price range, with only a one time pet fee upfront.

What a deal! When can I move in?

We moved in this last week in fact.

We are still in the unpacking phase. We just moved half of our stuff this last weekend, and Tom will be getting the rest today.

It is kind of nuts trying to do a move around the holidays and while working full time. We also were coordinating a PCS (permanent change of station) with the Army, so Tom had to do all of that paperwork before he left. So life is forcing us to take it much slower than we have in the past. Last night Tom and I said that if I would have had time off we would have pulled an all-nighter to get everything put away. But fortunately, I was realistic and knew that I did in fact need sleep over my need to organize. I am trying to just let it go that I cannot find my suitcase that has all my work pants in it. Skirts for days…

It is so nice to start making it our home. And I love decorating. Craft projects may be brewing…

Another adult thing I had not experienced was setting up utilities. People want to charge you for everything. Tom couldn’t believe that I had never done this, but alas it is true. Sometimes I want to go back to my little cocoon of living in the residence halls. Then I remember drunk students aren’t knocking on my door at 2 am, no fire alarms, and that I have a backyard for the dogs. Paying utilities here we come.

My biggest piece of advice of house hunting is to go and see the place before accepting it if you can. (I am still not sure how everything else works so I don’t really have any other advice. I seriously was just winging it most of the time.)

There was one place that showed pictures that gave evidence that it was newly remodeled (wood floors, open floor plan, new paint, etc….). I am telling you this place looked nice online.

Then I went to it, and this was one of the 2 bathrooms.

Not happening friends. I am not peeing in a utility closet with exposed pipes even if it was spacious.

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I am still not sure why they thought that was appropriate to show people…

How was your first house hunting experience? Any horror stories? Advice you have?

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35 Before 35 Update

1. Crochet something else besides blankets or scarves at least once a year (2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020)

2. Do a photography challenge

  • Keeping steady with this one. I have been struggling to get them uploaded, but I have been taking them! The task of uploading and doing minor editing is a little daunting because there are several hundred (maybe a thousand) at this point…
  • Here are just a couple from the last month:

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3. Visit 5 cities I have never been to before (5/5)

4. Tour at least one of the distilleries in the KY/TN area

5. Send at least 5 snail mail a month

6. Become a “professional” photographer

7. Run at least 10 races (any distance) (1/10)

8. Go camping with Tom

9. Pay for the car behind me in a drive through

10. See Tyrone Wells live as many times as possible

11. Tour Fort Defiance here in Clarksville

12. Water ski with my dad

13. Do a 5K with my mom

14. Take a swing dance class with Tom

15. Read at least one fun book a month and one professional development book every three months

16. Take a pottery or stained glass class

17. Do one new recipe each month

  • Since I was living with my in-laws this month and in transit, I did not do this. I give myself some slack though since a couple months ago I went hog wild with new recipes.

18. See both a Clemson and UCM football game live

  • I didn’t, but I did watch Clemson beat South Carolina for the first time since 2008, which was a game I did see in person.

19. Find a place to volunteer on a regular basis

  • I did find a place to put my crochet skills to good use. Now I just have to make things…

20. Go hiking

21. Ride in a hot air balloon

22. Go to at least 20 “new to me” restaurants. (17/20)

  • I went to Cafe Berlin here in Columbia with a friend of mine. It was a cute little place. My grilled cheese was a little too fancy for my taste, plus a “meal” did not come with sides. I probably will go back though to test out some other things, especially since it is within walking distance of my office.

23. Stay at a bed and breakfast

24. Spend a day without electronics (phone, t.v. and computer)

25. Have a Kentucky Derby themed 30th birthday party.

26. Explore Nashville while we live here

27. Watch at least 10 movies that I have not seen before that won Best Picture at the Oscars and at least 20 documentaries (not necessarily Oscar winning) Movies (2/10); Documentaries (7/20)

28. Sew an item of clothing from scratch

29. Do a personal devotional/bible study on my own

  • I downloaded the She Reads Truth app for my phone. It is a daily devotional series. I am thinking of doing a review of it. So far I am liking it.

30. Be a mascot for an event

31. Go on our honeymoon (preferably somewhere tropical)

32. Host an annual NCAA Basketball Tournament Championship game party

33. Go on a mission trip

34. Be on a recreation volleyball team

  • I am trying to convince my student workers to do an office team next semester. Hopefully we can muster up enough to play.

35. Become a mom

So I didn’t do so hot this month, but who cares. I moved and started a new job. So I think that counts for something!

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One Fine Day

Over a month ago, I posted what our day looked like when I was staying home with G. Now that we have settled into a routine as a working family, I wanted to post how things have changed.

For the past month, we have been living with my in-laws while we wait for Tom to return and for us to find a decent home. We figured there was no reason to rush since Tom was still in KY for awhile. But now that time is ending so this is a recap of how George fared without him.

Here is our day now:

At 5am, the alarm clock goes off, and we wake up. I am pretty proud of myself that I rarely hit the snooze button on weekdays. Progress people.

Between 5 and 5:30am:  I nurse George and change his diaper and switch out his pjs for his day clothes.

For the first few weeks the dogs were not with us, but this last week we added their madness to the mix.

Around 5:30, I hand off George to my mother-in-law, and I take the dogs out for their potty time.

Then I hop in the shower.

Around 6, I grab some breakfast and coffee.

At 6:15, I take George back from Grandma so she can get ready. George, then watches me finish getting ready from his little bouncy chair. Sometimes he is awake, and we talk about the day ahead. And other times this is his reaction to morning time. Mornings are hard people.

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At 6:45, I gather up any last minute things I need to pack like pumping equipment and George’s things. Then I load it and George into the car. I feel like a bag lady (diaper bag, pump bag, work bag, lunch bag).

By 7am, we are on the road.

It is a 30 minute drive to the baby sitter. George usually sleeps as I listen to the Kidd Kraddick show. If he is awake, I talk about what we drive by like the Capital building and the airport or the cars that we pass. Or I add my own commentary in response to the radio show. Y’all should be listening to this show. It is delightful.

Between 7:30 and 7:45, I drop off George at the babysitter’s. I usually stick around for 5 minutes to talk to her and one of the little girls that beats us there. “Baby George is here!” She (the three year old, not the babysitter) says every morning as we come in. Then sometimes we talk about princesses because that’s definitely 7:30am conversation. So cute.

By 7:55am, I am pulling into the parking lot at my job.

From 8-5, I am working. Doing really important things and changing people’s lives you know.

Around 5:20, I have worked my way through the traffic lights and the abundance of cars back to the babysitter’s.

We usually make it back to my in-laws around 6:15pm. I use this commute back to talk with Tom or I call other people to check in.

Once we get to the house, I snuggle with George for a few minutes than hand him off to either Grandma or Papa so I can eat. (Can I just say my in-laws are awesome for cooking me food every night!)

At 7, I nurse George. Then we play in our room until about 8ish. We get some tummy time in and leg exercises. Every day is leg day to George. This is my favorite part of the day because it is real quality time where I don’t feel like I have to rush our time together. We can just be.

Around 8, I let Grandma and Papa love on him. I use this time to take the dogs out, wash pump parts and bottles, and to get my lunch ready for the next day. Maybe I will go to the bathroom without a dog or a baby watching me, you know grown up things. This is such a blessing to have them to help. Plus I know that they are loving the quality time they are getting with little man.

This video was from a couple weeks ago when he first started babbling. He is pretty camera shy because he talks a whole lot more when I am not trying to record it.

If it is bath night, at 8:30 I go and get bath stuff ready for George while Papa chats with him (or some nights they fall asleep in the chair together). I will also wash my own face, brush my teeth, and get my clothes ready for the morning. If it is not bath night, I will start my nightly routine at 9pm.

Once I am through with my night stuff, George and I either head for a bath or I take him to nurse.

Around 9:30, we are usually wrapping up his last nursing session of the day. I will read him a story, and then put him in his Pack and Play for the night.

We are almost always done by 10pm.

I then take the dogs out again if they haven’t begged for it already from Grandma and Papa.

I call Tom once I have crawled in bed, and I am usually asleep before 10:30. Sometimes, I am still on the phone with Tom when I fall asleep….

Lately, George has been stirring between 3-5am. But most nights he will fall back asleep once I find the pacy and talk to him a little. Very rarely do I have to actually get up to nurse him before 5am.

On the weekends, it’s like George knows that we don’t have to wake up early. He will usually sleep until 6 and sometimes even 7. Bless this child.

One thing that has really helped keep me organized and not feel so rushed during the week is that I lay out clothes for the week for both myself and George on Sunday. It may sound crazy to plan for the week, but it is the best thing I have done to not feel like I am wasting time during the week stressing about what each of us is wearing. Then the only thing I do at night is grab undergarments and shoes to set out for the next day. So instead of wasting a half hour each night wondering how to style myself, (because let’s be real I will sometimes look at the mounds of clothes and think I have nothing to wear) I can take a half hour maybe 45 minutes one time on Sunday to get both of our things together.

I also write blog posts on the weekends and then edit throughout the week. Any spare time I have at night is usually spent playing with George and watching TV instead of playing on the computer. I wouldn’t have it any other way. So writing on the weekend has helped keep me from staying up late during the week because I still WANT to blog.

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There are days that I am really exhausted, but for the most part this routine has worked for us. I will be glad to knock some time off that commute though once we move into our own place. But for now, I will cherish the time that George gets with his grandparents while we stay with them. Plus he usually gets to see his cousin Ava a little more often this way too. Being close to family for the first time since undergrad has been really truly wonderful. I am so glad that George will be able to grow up close to both of our families and be surrounded by that family atmosphere.

So that’s what life has looked like for the past few weeks. It is all about to change though with Tom coming home TODAY! And hopefully we will be moving within the next week.

What are your routine tricks to save you time?