It is what it is

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Daphne’s Birth Story

It’s hard to believe that she is finally here!

Our Daphne Christine.

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While we had an induction planned, everything about this birth story was not planned. But what birth story is?

A couple weeks ago, my doctor scheduled our induction for Saturday, May 20th, because he didn’t want me to go a day past 37 weeks. Last Wednesday (May 17th), I went in for my final check up. Knowing we only had a couple days, we got everything squared away at the house, and I had everything done that I needed to do at work before I headed to this appointment. That day was also Tom’s last day at work before he started his paternity leave, so we felt good about the finality of this pregnancy. I even brought my hospital bag with me that day wanting to be more prepared.

I just had a feeling that I wasn’t going to be leaving that appointment without a baby.

And sure enough, Daphne and I both didn’t pass our tests that day. She didn’t practice breathing during the ultrasound, and my blood pressure was too high for my doctor to let us go even two more days until our induction. So I checked into Labor and Delivery, and Tom met me there within the hour after securing George plans with his parents.

We got to our room at 5pm, and I was calm about the whole ordeal at this point. We were having a baby!

They started hooking me up with the IV. They checked my cervix, and I was already dilated to a 3, which is awesome that I was already there naturally. Because of my blood pressure, I was being put on magnesium again. I was really hoping to avoid this because of the bad and awful reactions I had with George. And because of the magnesium, I had to have a catheter. Ugh…

My in-laws brought George by after picking him up from the sitter’s. When he walked in the door, he said, “Mommy hurt?” So many emotions right there. It just hit me that my little baby boy was all grown up.

Soon after they left around 7pm, they put me on pitocin and got the party started. I started having contractions coming together almost immediately. I was also really feeling the magnesium. I was freezing out Tom because I was burning up so much and kept asking for the air to be turned down. The weird thing about magnesium though is that it was just my face that was on fire.

Since I was not allowed to walk around, at 11 pm I decided to get an epidural. It just seems silly to have to deal with all that pain to be able to do it more naturally when nothing about magnesium is normal. The only reason I wanted to try naturally was so I could walk around during labor, and that just wasn’t an option. Give me the drugs then! This time was a lot harder for me to get the epidural. It was much more painful of a process. Tom was in there this time though so that was nice to be able to hold his hand.

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At 12:30, they came and checked my cervix again and broke my water. I was only at a 4. I was a little upset that I wasn’t progressing faster, but I embraced where we were at.

I started shaking uncontrollably at this point. It was like I was cold, but I was hot from the magnesium. I just remember repeating to Tom, “I can’t make it stop.” I shook like this well after the birth was over. This was awful to not feel in control of your body at all.

The nurse had me flipping sides every few minutes in between contractions to help activate Daphne. Every time I had a contraction, her heartbeat went way low. They thought that the umbilical cord may be wrapped around her neck.  I just remember being exhausted after every flip because it was so hard to move my legs due to the epidural it was taking all my strength to rotate. At one point they had me on all fours to help alleviate some of the contraction pain. The thing that they don’t tell you about epidurals is that it doesn’t take away all the contractions like one may think, and you still feel ALL the pressure.

I was having contractions every few minutes and some severe pressure in my hooha. Finally at 3:00 am, the doctor came back in to check on my progress.

It was no wonder I was feeling pressure, because Daphne was crowning and her head was making it’s way out! Her heart rate was going down during contractions not because of the umbilical cord, but because my vagina was wrapped around her neck. So they got everyone into position quickly, including my legs into stirrups.

Seven minutes and 6 pushes after they said let’s start this, Daphne Christine was born at 3:20am and laid on my chest.

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They waited a couple minutes to cut the umbilical cord while she laid on my chest. It as so magical to have this moment. We never got this with George since he was whisked away to the NICU so quickly after birth, so this was amazing to have it this time around.

Once Tom cut the literal cord, they took her over to do her tests while they did finished cleaning and stitching me up.

They did struggle to get the placenta out. And when it did come out, it was very apparent why I needed to have this baby early. It was in shreds. Tom said it looked nothing like when I had George.

But soon it was over and Daphne was back on my chest avoiding the NICU completely as a pre-term baby at 36 weeks and 4 days. Here she was already passing her brother on tests. She weighed 6 lbs and 6 oz, and every bit was beautiful.

I remember dozing off a little bit before the sun rose, but after that I was trying to nurse her every hour or so. Tom and I also admitted that it was so very weird to have her in the room. People kept commenting that it was easy for us since it was our second time and knew what to expect, but we both were like uh no the last baby I didn’t get to see for almost two days after he was born. I don’t know how to do these first few hours of life business!

So after about  7 hours of labor, our precious baby girl made her debut into this world.

While she is now born, the story does not end here. The next couple of days were just as eventful and every part of this birth story. Before this week, I had contemplated having a third kid, but one particular part event of last week has me saying there will never ever be any more kids in our future.

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But you will have to come back for that part of the story. For now you can enjoy those baby cheeks!

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Just George

We have been scheduled for an induction, so our timeline with just George is coming to an end here in the next week.

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The idea of George losing his “only” status is something I have thought about since we found out that we were pregnant. However, it’s been heightened here with the deadline coming quickly upon us. These past few weeks the thought of our time focusing on just him ending has been given me mixed emotions. I don’t know if I can fully put it into words all that I am feeling or if it will even make sense to others.

  • I am terrified that George will think we love him less since our attention will be divided.
  • I am scared if I will have the capacity to love a new baby as much as I love George.
  • I worry that George will be my favorite because I have gotten almost three years to know this kid before DC showed up. How do I create a similar bond with DC under totally different circumstances? Will it measure up?
  • I am panicked because we have a routine with just one kid, how do we manage two? Seriously…
  • I am in shock that George is almost three. How does it go by so fast?

How does your heart grow to love two kids equally? George has been my sidekick for the better part of 3 years now. The love that I have for him is crazy intense. With Tom’s schedule, we spend a lot of time with just the two of us. The bond we share is so special because of all this time with just the two of us. He’s my little momma’s boy. While I am super excited to love on a new baby, I wonder how George and I’s relationship will change. There are parts of me that are scared that we will lose that connection. I selfishly don’t want to mess it up.

Then there are other parts who cannot wait to see him become a big brother. He is such a sweet little boy, and seeing him with a sibling is just going to be the best. I am excited to see how our family will grow and evolve. I, of course, am thrilled to start a new relationship with DC and grow even more as a mom.

So this week, I will soak up these moments of just the two of us reading books. I will relish in the fact that he wants to play with me. I will embrace the fact that I am the only person he wants to take to the potty. I will cherish the times he asks me to hold him. I will hold dear the minutes that it’s just the two of us walking hand in hand.

I will slow down to take it all in this week with him.

The time of “just George” may be ending, but it doesn’t change the fact that he made me a mom. These past few years have been magical with George, but I am overjoyed to see what is in store for us as we become a family of four.

Since Tom’s work has him away a lot, I started taking selfies on the nights we were alone to send to Tom so he could still be part of our nights. This is a compilation of those George selfies over the past couple years.

Here’s to the little man who made me a mom and who has given me so many special moments to smile about. I feel so honored that God chose us for you.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

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You Are My Sunshine Baby Shower

Last week, my sweet in-laws threw me the perfect shower for our baby girl.

All I asked for was that there was donuts and biscuits and gravy, and I gave a direction for the theme.

Then my sister-in-law ran with it. I didn’t want a lot of fuss, so this was perfect for us to get people that we love in the same room to celebrate our newest addition.

We had flowers in the cutest little flower pots that were our favors for the event. I hope that others are better at gardening than we are.

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George didn’t mind the donuts either. Isn’t he so handsome?

My niece drew me a special message, and George wanted to add his circles which is his new trick.

I am lucky to share this cop wife life with this lady here. She made DC a sweet quilt, which I love. And it has elephants!

This little lady is going to be so well dressed.

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My niece bestowed all of her bows to her new cousin. She already has some hair, so hopefully we can put them to good use!

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I may be in trouble with this one. We have talked Sister up as much as we can, but his world is about to be shook up.

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I realized that I didn’t take very many group shots with people. I need to do better about that! Anyway, these are my work people. I spend most of my time with these two ladies. They make my time away from my family more enjoyable. And I know my job is in good hands while I am out for the summer with them at the wheel!

DC, you are my little sunshine. We are ready for you!

 

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My Reality

This last week our plans were totally flipped upside down.

I have had to accept a new reality.

More specifically, our baby girl will be here in 3 weeks meaning we will definitely not make it to her due date in June.

This means that the house will not be done by the time she is born.

This means that George will still be sleeping in the crib.

This means that all of DCs clothes are spread all over our dining room instead of nicely packed away in her nursery.

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It means a lot of things, but mostly that I need to not worry and be more zen.

At my doctor’s appointment last week, I earned myself an overnight stay at the hospital. My blood pressure was 173/120. It’s hard to believe that I was feeling completely normal before the visit.

I mean just last week, I was talking about how great things were going in my 33 week update.

But alas, apparently this is what my body does when it is pregnant. I have been diagnosed with mild pre-eclampsia again.

Obviously I was not calm when they broke the news of being stuck in the hospital and then to be told a few hours later what I had hoped I would avoid this time around. Read I was a blubbering mess.

I was distraught mostly because George was still at the sitter, and we had not even discussed a game plan of how to handle him while we were at the hospital. First light bulb that we are NOT ready! I could only think about all the things I thought I had time to do at home, with George, and at work. This obviously did not help bring my bp down at first…but I got there eventually.

The plus of being admitted to the hospital and being diagnosed again is that I am deemed high risk and the weekly ultrasounds have resumed.

It was everything to see my little girl again. To see her big ol’ belly that is measuring 3 weeks ahead. To see the tufts of hair on her head. To see her practicing breathing. To see her showing our ultrasound tech her karate chop moves. It was everything.

Unlike last time though, I was not put on bed-rest. Because I was able to regain some normal blood pressure measurements over night and my blood tests came back fine along with the fact that DC is measuring a week ahead (fun fact right now she weighs as much as George did when he was born), they let me go home the next afternoon. They are allowing me to do this out-patient for the time being, and again WITHOUT being on bed rest-yet. My protein levels are rising, so that could be the kicker at each appointment. I also have to keep a log of my blood pressure at home now to see what my normal day is like.

My new doctor explained to me that he feels confident that we can monitor this and I keep going as I was, but the difference being that this baby will be coming out at 37 weeks. So it looks like another induction is in my future. I am 34 weeks now friends.

So no Junebug for me. I get to now share my own birth month with my baby girl. It’s funny how both of our kids have not been born in their “original” due birth months.

Not being put on bed-rest is a God-send. I honestly do not know how I would have functioned this time around with having George. Plus this allows me to get every thing more squared away at work even if I can’t at home. Luckily, I have been preparing all semester, but still…I have been pushed into high gear!

So my reality is that her nursery isn’t done. My reality is that I am not going to worry about exercising these last few weeks. My reality is that my time alone with George is coming to a quick end, and we really haven’t done a whole lot to prepare him for siblinghood.

My reality is that I need to just let things go. She is going to come into a un-perfect world, but that isn’t going to make her any less perfect.

She will be the best little blessing we could have ever asked for.

But I have made a list to try to help ease our transition…You can’t take the Type-A personality out of me completely! List making combined with lots of praying is what is keeping me sane right now.

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I was able to get a lot of the list done this weekend, and I have the dining room and George’s current room set for what we need for at least her first two weeks. We will get to all the rest when the house is done and the time comes.

We are ready for you DC, but let’s wait the 3 weeks to make our meeting official!

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House Renovation Update

It is coming along. It is coming along. It is coming along.

For real. I have to tell myself this every day.

We are making progress, but all I am seeing is that I have no room for this baby…So pray for me. Pray for my husband so he can deal with me. Pray for our contractor that this timeline keeps moving down.

Some days I am in a hormonal panic that I don’t have things organized for DC’s arrival, and other days I am completely calm about the status of our house. This was completely insane to do this now, but she won’t know any different.

I just need to keep myself calm. She will be sleeping in our room for the first couple months anyway.

Here are some progression pictures. It is really fun to watch it all come together.

Seeing walls go up made it more realistic. Huge progress!

The dogs are going to love the new windows!

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Currently, my clothes are in piles in our spare room. So I cannot wait to get in this closet! I need to organize! I haven’t been able to nest AT ALL.

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Baby Girl and I barely fit through the studs.

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This will be the longest hallway. However, it will be perfect to put our family pictures throughout the years. We would have outgrown the walls in the dining room in the next couple years.

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Walls were my flashy gesture from the contractor this past week. I start really panicking when I can’t see things actually happening like the electrical. So Tom told our contractor that he needed to do something flashy every few days to calm me down.

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We are turning the new basement part into a gym. Both of us feel frustrated about our fitness. We both have access to gyms at work. However, it cuts into our time with the kids if we stay after, and we both feel like we don’t get the workout that we really want. We know having this at home will give us more flexibility since we won’t have to drive anywhere to get our sweat on. Tom dry-walled and painted all of this in two days. We both are so excited for this!

We just got the siding this week. AND I LOVE IT!

We will be painting the old house to match the siding here soon. Then we are going to add stone to cover the brick. Although, we probably will leave the brick in the back you see here, because no one sees that.

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So that is where we stand currently with the house.

It’s coming along.