June 18, 2025 by Stephanie

Dear Husband

Fourteen years.

It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed since we said “I do,” and yet, when I look at you, I still see the same man who made me laugh, made me feel safe, and made me believe in forever. What I didn’t know then was just how much that “forever” would teach us.

Fourteen years of marriage of growing up together, of figuring life out hand in hand. We’ve built a life full of ordinary moments that mean everything—shared glances across a crowded room, caffeine-fueled mornings, chaotic dinners with the kids, quiet nights when nothing really needed to be said and there are Office episodes to watch. And through all of it, one thing has stayed constant: us.

Staying connected hasn’t always been easy—especially in the seasons when life pulled us in a hundred directions. Work, kids, responsibilities… the noise of life can be loud. With the complexities we have experienced, especially over the past couple years, it would be easy to just fall apart. But somehow, we always found our way back to each other. In the small things. In the effort. In the choice to show up for each other, again and again.

You still make me feel chosen. You still make me feel wanted. And loved. And seen.

You always know how to lighten the mood with a perfectly-timed joke or sarcastic comment, and even when I try not to laugh—you get me every time. You have a way of talking all of us off our proverbial ledge and help us focus on reality. Your mind is sharp, your hands are capable, and I swear, you can fix anything. Whether it’s a broken toy, a car, or a rough day—you’ve got a way of putting things back together.

You’re the kind of dad I always hoped my kids would have—playful, patient, endlessly loving. You have made their childhood magical. They look at you like you hung the moon. And honestly, so do I. This life we have built together is nothing short of a miracle, and it is more than I ever dreamed of.

What I admire most, though, is who you are when no one is watching. Loyal. Ethical. Steadfast. Honest. People underestimate you all the time—and you just keep showing up, proving them wrong. There are so many little things that you do to improve the world around you that no one even knows you are doing. But I see you.

Thank you for being my steady when life gets messy. For showing up, not just as my husband, but as my teammate, and my safe place.

There’s a quiet kind of magic in a love that grows deeper over time. It doesn’t need grand gestures or perfect moments. It just needs care, commitment, and a whole lot of grace. And somehow, we’ve found all of that—together.

Fourteen years in, and I still choose you. I choose this life. I choose us.

Happy anniversary, my love. Here’s to every year that brought us closer—and to every year still to come.

Love always,

Steph

May 9, 2025 by Stephanie

Is Time Different at 40?

Today I turn the big 4-0.

I have never been weird about birthdays. Generally, I have embraced them and been excited about this journey of life and moving to the next year.

But I have to admit, this one hits different.

FORTY.

It is not a sad thing about aging or that I am having a mid-life crisis, but it is making me pause in a way that I don’t normally do for birthdays.

Age is very relative, and I know at some point I thought 40 seemed so far away. You wonder what milestones you will have reached and whether there is this sudden urgency to “live life to the fullest” because it all seems downhill from here. There are a lot of societal expectations by this time of your life to have things figured out.

But honestly, I am really seeing it as a reset button. If this last year has taught me anything, is that no day is guaranteed, so maybe it is that I need to “live life to the fullest” but I am seeing it more as being bold in my priorities.

My thirties brought me so much, and I have learned a lot about what is important and how awesome my life has become. I am realizing that now is the time to fill my cup differently and prioritize my focus on certain things.

By the grace of God, Tom and I are stepping into our 40s together this year. I am forever thankful for our relationship and what being married to Tom has taught me. This time last year there were moments that we did not think 40 was possible. It is a true gift to continue growing in our partnership and move through life together. There is beauty in realizing all the different versions we have seen of each other. We met in our early twenties, and here we are stepping into another decade with our love story. We have shared and survived so much as a couple. We are comfortable with each other for sure, but within that is a deep connection that has allowed us to navigate life together with intense purpose. I do believe that we make each other better, and growing “old” together is a blessing every day.

While I had George when I was 29, my thirties is where I really came into motherhood. We have created a beautiful family, and through this time I have become more sure of the childhood we want them to have. It is an interesting balance to strike with encouraging them to try new things and put them in activities that interest them, and then still finding time to just simply exist in our own space as a family. I want them to stay little and innocent as long as possible as to not age them too fast. This next decade will bring new things in motherhood as we start to navigate them becoming young adults and eventually start moving into the world on their own. I hope due to the complexities of becoming confident in my own life and the lessons I have learned thus far will make it easier to guide them in theirs. Ultimately, I know that I want my focus to be on their lives, development, and being present in all that I can with them.

Looking at where I am right now with my career, I could not be more grateful for all the twists and turns that got me to where I am right now. I have always dreamed of being part of educational moments and being able to create experiences where others can grow and learn. Looking back at every decision that seemed hard and unknown, they all have led me to right here. I am feeling more self-assured about where my passions are and how to advocate for where I can be best utilized. It is through my career experiences that I have learned more about my own voice and how to lean into my strengths and desires in order to impact the communities I am in. I have been so fortunate for the opportunities I have had career wise, and I am excited to see what is on the horizon. Our lives are never linear as our age presumes, and I have found making “five year plans” is never a permanent decision for my future. There is strength and comfort in knowing that I am moving myself to really look at my impact and what brings joy instead of climbing a business ladder because it seemed to increase my ability to affect change. As I am turning into this decade, I am really happy for each time I bet on myself in my career and defined my own success.

Looking over my life, building community is not something that has come easily to me. I do enjoy relationship and connections, however, due to my propensity to keep my circle small it can be challenging to create those deep relationships as lives shift. And making friends as an adult is HARD. It has been one of those pieces I have had to learn to take chances and be vulnerable. But I also have had to let go and realize that not every relationship will serve you forever. This has been a very hard lesson for me, and I have had to learn to be intentional about how I am showing up to spaces to build community. However, community is so important. We are supposed to live in connection. Finding your circle can be hard, but it is worthwhile to find people you can navigate life with. I am hoping that as I move into this next phase, community building is at the forefront of my priorities. Finding space for connection can take a lot of my energy, but I find that after these intentional interactions I feel full and blessed.

I would be lying to say that 40 doesn’t make you think about the longevity of life and enhances a deeper hunger for meaning. I have been thinking a lot over the last couple years what it could look like to walk with God differently in this season. I have been pushed and pulled on my faith as I have grown. It has evolved from striving to do faith “right” to leaning into grace and being in relationship with God. I am discovering that spiritual maturity often looks like surrender, not certainty. I am coming to terms with the mysteries of life and that faith doesn’t need to demand all the answers. I am learning the true art of letting go with my faith. I am listening more, asking better questions, noticing God in everyday moments. I have started seeing my faith not just as belief and a focus on self, but how I show up in the world with my faith. As a perfectionist, my faith journey recently has been allowing myself to strip down the expectations and high achievement to have a more honest, less polished faith. My intention as I move forward is to seek continued growth and closeness with God.

I feel that I am the most confident I have ever been in my life. I am discovering that not all important things are measurable. I have started letting go of the fact of any pressure to arrive at a certain point and a certain time. I am embracing how weird and awkward life can be, and instead of trying to maneuver into a perfect picture, to really sink in and enjoy the simplicity of the day to day. I have realized everything doesn’t have to be so serious, and there is importance in finding magical moments in this amazingly precious life. I think that is the beauty of resetting myself as I turn forty today. This last year showed me how fast life is moving, and I have an opportunity to slow myself down to enjoy it. Aging is really an expansion of life, not a decline. And I hope that I can continue to choose intentionally how to walk through this life while focusing on fun, fulfillment, and connection.

So here is to 40!

March 10, 2015 by Stephanie

Just An Average Day

One thing I love about this blog is that it is a documentation of our family. I enjoy reading back and remember how things were at that time and how they have changed/or not since then.

So this is what our schedule looks like now with me as a working mom, Tom in the Police Academy, and George being his 6 month self. This is our average day.

Tom’s alarm goes off some time between 4:15 and 4:30am. He lets the dogs out first thing.
If George wakes up before 4:45 and cannot be soothed, he ends up sleeping with me either on his floor, his rocker, or our bed. If he wakes up before 3:30am, I can usually nurse him for a couple minutes and put him back down in his crib.
If he wakes up between 4:45 and 5:20, I wake up and nurse him. Then I just stay awake and start our day.
If he is an angel child, I have to wake him up when my alarm goes off at 5:20. Or at 5:30 after hitting the snooze. I will then nurse him, change his diaper and clothes.
Tom leaves around 5:15am for PT.
After George is ready for the day, I bring the play mat into the bathroom and put George there on the bathroom floor while I hop on the shower. This is always interesting because he is most alert in the morning and loves to babble. So we talk through the shower curtain. At first I was concerned about the dogs messing with him while I was in the shower. But who am I kidding they are divas and crawl back under the blankets while I shower.
Around 6am, we have breakfast. George is first with some rice cereal mixed with some other puree. Then I have cereal while he plays on the kick and play. I also use this time to catch up on Instagram.
At 6:45, I put George on a blanket next to the bathroom doorway and let him play with toys while I put on make-up and dry my hair. He is mesmerized by my hair dryer! This is also when I listen to my daily devotional speeches.
At 7:00, I let the dogs out one last time while I load up the car with every bag imaginable.
At 7:15, I brush my teeth while holding George because he has started his morning nap-time fussiness. I also close all the room doors and do a last check of dog destruction potential.
By 7:25, George and I are in the car. (Usually I have to circle the neighborhood to make sure I shut the garage door.)
We hit the babysitter’s house at 7:40.
At 7:50, I head to CC which is 5 minutes away.
I walk into my office around 8 am and then do the work thing all day.
Tom sometimes gets a long lunch to come home to check on the dogs.
I get off at 5pm. Tom does sometimes. If we both are off at 5, Tom picks up George on Tuesdays/Thursdays. I then pick up G on Monday/Wednesday/Friday. But more often than not, Tom does not get off at 5. Either way, George is picked up around 5:15 every day.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will go to the gym regardless of if I picked up G or not. The gym childcare ladies love him, so it is a win/win. Seriously they all huddle at the window when they see us walk in and squeal when we come in the door. It’s a great feeling to see him so loved when he is only there a couple hours each week.
On Mondays and Wednesdays we get home about 5:30. Tuesdays and Thursdays we get home about 6:30.
Tom usually gets home between 7 and 8 after he gets off and then goes to work out. (which is technically him still working) There are some days like tonight that he won’t get home until after 11pm. Real bummer.
I feed George some solid food at 6:30.
Tom then does George’s bath time right when he gets home around 7. If he isn’t home yet, I do the bath charge. But to be honest some days when Tom isn’t home yet, George just gets a “wipes” bath. Especially on the nights where I have an hour worth of dishes to do.
I take the lead on the first bedtime with jammies, story time, last nursing of the day, and then lights out hopefully around 7:30-7:45.
We (the adults) finally have dinner at 8:00pm. Lately, we haven’t really been sitting down together to eat just with the way that the schedule has gone. I am hoping once the academy is over we can adjust things so we can sit down formally together again.
Rarely does George make it past 8:30 with this first bedtime. So we take turns with the wiggle monster depending on what we need to do. This is really the time that we do any household chores, getting ready for the morning, I catch up on the blog, Tom does his homework, and anything else that needs to be done.
We hardly ever spend this time in the same room “being still” during the week because of things that have to get done that night. (We are sooo ready for the academy to be over to have us time again.) Friday nights however, we do go on our Hy-Vee buffet date night, so we don’t worry about any household chores that night.
At 9:30pm, Tom gets George’s last bottle ready and then feeds him.
Around 10pm, Tom puts George down for the final time of the night.
At the same time, I wash my face and brush my teeth. Then I do one last pumping session before bed. I use this time to do my bible study.
Around 10:30, sometimes Tom and I will have some time to chat and just be the two of us. Usually we pass out around 10:30 though. It is very seldom that we are awake past 11pm on a weeknight.

The weekends are a lot more fluid, but we do try to keep George’s night time routine the same as much as possible.

There are a few things we do to make things go a little smoother and save ourselves some time.

I still try to pick out George’s and my clothes for the week on Sunday afternoons. I find I spend much less time wondering what the heck we are going to wear when I carve out a half hour on Sunday to lay everything out. It also helps to grab George’s clothes more quickly since he is now practicing to try out for Cirque du Soleil.

I also purchased more pump parts so I am only doing dishes for that 3 nights out of the week which is a huge help! I have a pretty good system now that I set up my computer in front of the sink and catch up on shows while I clean those parts those nights.This makes me feel like washing dishes isn’t so awful with the entertainment distracting me.

Sundays we also do a lot of meal prep for the week so we don’t have to do as much with our limited time during the week. This has been such a saving grace so we don’t have to worry so much about what we are going to eat for lunches and dinners.

I write a majority of my blog posts over the weekend. Having the skeleton done makes it much easier to go in quickly during the week to do some edits. I have a planner with all my ideas written out so I know when I want to post what and can design drafts farther in advance as well.

So there you have it. Our schedule is a little messy right now with very little down time during the week. It’s not ideal, but we are making it work right now with our temporary schedule.

Do you have a crazy schedule? What are your time saving tips?

February 15, 2015 by Stephanie

Life.

One year ago, we were celebrating the news that we would be adding life to our family. Valentine’s Day we found out we were pregnant.

This year we celebrated life in a different way. We celebrated a life lost.

Such a big life.

Friday night my sweet sweet grandma passed away.

This is such a hard loss because of the huge place Grandma held in our lives. While we knew this was something that was going to happen, her passing is still very much a shock because of how she has always been there for us.

She was one of the sweetest and most selfless women I knew. It’s hard to sum up everything that she was and meant to us.

She is colored popcorn balls.

She is lunch dates to Andres.

She is our first trip to Silver Dollar City.

She is the blue suede jacket that was forever a staple in her closet.

She was a trip to the movies to see the latest kid blockbuster.

She is her insistence that she was always 5.8 and a size 8 shoe.

She is watching Curly Sue, Heidi, and Big Business with me on repeat.

She is the shrimp holiday meal.

She is the immaculate manicure and updo. (Come to think of it, I don’t think I ever did see her nails not done.)

She is trips to Japanese Steak House.

She is the Hallmark movies she would save.

She is the angel Christmas decorations that would flood her house in the winter.

She is the call to make sure I was ok on campus, and that I was carrying a flashlight.

She is the family she embraced (blood and not). She adopted anyone as hers.

She is the laugh that fills you up.

She is the way she talked about each of her grandchildren and great grandchildren with great pride and love.

She is the support she showed us at every band concert, play, sports event, etc.

She is the way her eyes lit up when you walked in the door to visit.

She is a role model as a wife and mother.

She is the sparkle you saw when she talked about the love of her life (Grandpa).

She is the way she said I love you.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Grandma was so much to all of us that there is definitely a void that is felt by all.

We spent so much time at her house growing up. It was a safe haven for us, and we knew a good time would be had with her. All of these moments, I will cherish.

She was a mom to three, grandma to eight, and great-grandma to thirteen. And she loved as all so fully. Goodness it is hard to explain the emotion and all that she gave to us.

She was one of those people who gave everything that she was and then just a little more. She was seriously the best.

This was just a start to remember all of it. There will never be anyone quite like her. She was one special lady. This is my attempt to put it into words, but it’s still tough to process this loss. I just can’t imagine going home to Kansas City without seeing her face or hearing her voice. So much beauty wrapped up in one person.

It is going to be tough, but she will live on through all that knew her.

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I will forever cherish this moment where she held George for the first time. This is the only picture of the two of them together.

I never realized how much I looked like her until my cousin posted this picture. Hopefully I can follow in her footsteps in more than just looks.

Grandma, here’s to you and your size 8 shoe, which I am sure you are wearing now to see Jesus.

February 9, 2015 by Stephanie

35 Before 35

I did ok this last month. I have some things I definitely need to stick to more, but hey I am not getting graded. And the point is to enjoy life, and I am doing that!

1. Crochet something else besides blankets or scarves at least once a year (~~2013~~, ~~2014~~, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020)

2. Do a photography challenge

Getting this done. I am really excited about some of the pictures I have planned in the upcoming months for George. Here are some we did this last month.

3. ~~Visit 5 cities I have never been to before~~ (5/5)

4. Tour at least one of the distilleries in the KY/TN area

I really need to change this to winery, brewery or distillery.

5. Send at least 5 snail mail a month

6. Become a “professional” photographer

7. Run at least 10 races (any distance) (1/10)

I have a site bookmarked with Missouri races. Right now there are not any close by that fit into my schedule for the upcoming month. Hopefully in April I will be able to find something.

8. Go camping with Tom

9. Pay for the car behind me in a drive through

10. See Tyrone Wells live as many times as possible

He just released his tour dates, and unfortunately he is going to be no where near me. He is playing in Minneapolis and Iowa City on my birthday weekend, which would make for an awesome 30th birthday. I just don’t know about the drive commitment.

11. ~~Tour Fort Defiance here in Clarksville~~

12. Water ski with my dad

13. Do a 5K with my mom

14. Take a swing dance class with Tom

15. Read at least one fun book a month and one professional development book every three months

I am doing good with the professional books but not so much my own personal books. I wrote about my rut recently. When I started this I never thought I would be doing better at reading professional books. I am hoping to make a turn around.

16. Take a pottery or stained glass class

I think I may take one at the college I work at since I can take classes for free. I just have to see when it fits into my schedule and how that would go with work.

17. Do one new recipe each month

Meal planning really keeps me up with this one. We try to do a big meal on either Saturday or Sunday so we can use as left overs for lunch the first of the week.
Crockpot Chicken Ranch Tacos. These were pretty delicious.
Baked Parmesan Zucchini. These were more work than it was worth. Good, but not anything special. Plus, it is now after almost 8 years that Tom tells me he doesn’t like zucchini…
Crescent Chicken. This takes a lot of prep time, but it was totally worth it. These are really filling so we had enough for several more meals for the both of us.
Crockpot Buffalo Chicken Wings. We made these for the Super Bowl. They did not come out like the picture on the website but they were still pretty tasty.
Stuffed Pepper Casserole. This was good and made leftovers for dayssss. The only thing about this that I would note is that I suck at making rice so it was actually better as a leftover because the rice got more cooked. I have no idea why, but I cannot for the life of me make rice the way you are supposed to.

18. See both a Clemson and UCM football game live

19. Find a place to volunteer on a regular basis

20. Go hiking

The weather was so nice this weekend, and it made me really excited about outdoor opportunities.

21. Ride in a hot air balloon

22. Go to at least 20 “new to me” restaurants. (19/20)

We went to Freddy’s Steakburger. This is a chain that is just like Steak and Shake. It was good, but we don’t eat a lot of grease so we didn’t feel so good afterwards because that is pretty much all we ate.
I also went to Pickleman’s, which is a local deli. It was really good! We will be going back!

23. Stay at a bed and breakfast

24. Spend a day without electronics (phone, t.v. and computer)

25. Have a Kentucky Derby themed 30th birthday party.

Tom is taking charge of this, so I honestly don’t care about the theme. (not because he is planning it but because all I really care about is having fun with friends and family.)

26. ~~Explore Nashville while we live here~~

27. Watch at least 10 movies that I have not seen before that won Best Picture at the Oscars and at least 20 documentaries (not necessarily Oscar winning) Movies (2/10); Documentaries (7/20)

28. Sew an item of clothing from scratch

29. Do a personal devotional/bible study on my own