crochet

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Hakuna Matata

This weekend, a couple friends of mine traveled with me to the closest military base. We went to explore the Post Exchange/commissary and see what we could find. In my head, I thought it was going to be this extravagant grocery store that I had seen at Ft. Campbell. And that turned out to be not so much the case. This base does not have quite the same amenities as bases I have been to before. The PX was basically a gas station convenience store. I got some good candy, and Linda and Melissa both got a Camelbak that says “hydrate or die.”  We also drove around the base for about 5 minutes seeing all the sites. It just boggles my mind to think how different this was from Ft. Campbell and Benning, which are both massive bases. But if you think about it, they each have different jobs and demands on their soldiers, so it makes sense. I am sad that I was not able to find my Odwalla juices for a dollar though.

Even though I was not able to do the shopping that I wanted, it was still nice to share the experience with friends. I was able to blend my two worlds for once.

I have been watching the series FRIENDS lately. It is absolutely hysterical. I highly recommend it. (I am also convinced that Tom and I are a real life version of Monica and Chandler.) This show is all about the bonds of friendship and how as a group they can get through anything together. The iconic theme song has a pretty awesome message too-“I’ll be there for you.”

My friends here in Ames are one big reason why I have not moved yet. Having this support system already in place is a Godsend. Whether they realize it or not, they give me a reason to get off the couch and out of my apartment. They help me relieve stress and keep my mind off the fact that I haven’t heard from Tom in 24 hours. Just being around them makes me not worry. It’s when I am alone that I freak out the most, like for example today on the drive to volleyball. I started realizing that I have not talked to Tom since Friday, so what does my brain do? It starts envisioning military personnel standing outside my door waiting to tell me the worst. Oh or every time someone has called in the last week for political garb, I panic when I see the unknown number calling me to tell me something has happened to my husband. So I apologize for anyone who has called me wanting me to vote for so and so. I have been pretty short to them because I get so worked up before I answer the phone. Whoops. I also have been having nightmares that they wont be able to find me since I live in a residence hall to tell me anything. See how easy the mind wonders? So having people to distract me is so helpful. They help keep my life normal.

I know that I would have people to reach out to in Ft. Campbell, but the decision to stay here was obviously the right one for now. My life kind of got turned upside down in some ways in September. If I would have moved, everything would have been unfamiliar, and I would have become a shut-in. It’s been comforting to be here in Ames where I have a place and people to lean on already. I didn’t have to work at establishing that once Tom left. Ames has been my constant. The friends that I have here are great, and I am not quite ready to start friend dating again. They don’t teach you how to do that in school.

I know that the move is coming someday soon, and I am sure I will forge on and make new life-long friends. But for now, Ames people are my security blanket.

What a great segue! My blanket project for this entry is something that has been a long time coming. I started this blanket a year ago. I got carried away with the size. Unfortunately, I still stink at judging the length/width with the first couple lines. But by the time I realize how big the silly thing will be, I have already invested too much time to dare pull it all out.

Anyway, my intention was for this blanket to be a gift for my previous graduate student, Tiffany. We had been together for two years and had begun our Ames journey together. She graduated last May, so you can see how I failed meeting my goal to have it done by the time she graduated. I will also defend myself that it took longer than I had planned because you have to change the yarn on every row, which takes more time. I also had to really pay attention to the pattern on this one, which again took more time.

I did a crochet boucan pattern. Here is the video I used as a guide.

This woman is awesome at teaching crochet stitches. I have watched several of her videos, and she breaks it down really well for you.

Even though it has been a rough time getting it done, I would say that this turned out to be one of my favorites. It looks pretty snazzy! Go Cyclones!

Grace doesn’t like it when I put the blankets on the ground to take photos. She has to inspect it. And see what I mean about it being massive?
Here is the pattern up close.

In parting, they say “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” I say that’s silly. Why would I want to hang out with people who make me miserable? Friends keep you going even when you are at your lowest low. They are there to remind you of “Hakuna matata.” No worries, we got you.

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Red Line Message

This is the subject line of an email that I received a few weeks ago. Red Lines are messages that are sent out to families to notify them that someone was killed where their soldier is located. In the message, it detailed that 3 soldiers attached to Tom’s unit were killed by a suicide bomber. (Now was this in the news? Not any that I saw. But that is a subject for another day.) In the letter, it does explain that it is not one of our 101st Airborne men, however this did not stop the panic attack that quickly ensued.

I know that the procedure is that I will be the first person to be notified if something were to happen. And I also know that it would be in person and not through an email. People in their right minds know these things. But I had just lost my grandparents, I hadn’t heard from Tom that day, and to top it off, I had just done a staff development activity on telling people around you that you appreciate them and not waiting until it’s too late, so my loopy mind kept going to the worst possible scenario. I was an absolute wreck that night. It was like that scene in “A League of their Own” when one of the players found out in the locker room her husband dies, and then Geena Davis lost it in a scene soon after because her husband was also in the military. I was Geena Davis, only my husband didn’t walk in to make it a magical moment. Bummer.

Tom was able to call me the next morning. He explained to me that he was no where near this incident, and the jobs were completely different than his. He also explained that when things like this happen they are under a “blackout” with communication which is why I hadn’t heard from him. This is so the families really are the first to know of the tragedy. Can you believe that people have found out from text messages from friends who heard before they did? So now they have very strict policies of how this information is disseminated.

Luckily, I do get to speak to Tom pretty much every day. They have phones and computers, and he does a good job trying to find time when I am awake to call. He is about 10ish hours ahead of us, so he is often calling in the middle of the night where he is just so he doesn’t disturb my slumber. Good man.

It still is difficult though. I never know when he is going to call. Each day his schedule and mine are different. I would be lying if I don’t look at my phone several times an hour hoping that it rings. I worry all the time about his safety. His calls are all I have to know that he made it through another day, well that and his updated Facebook statuses.

I try not to think about it too often to ward off anxiety attacks. I have a lot of personal pep talks in my head to try to stay positive and know that Tom is doing all that he can to come home safe with his unit. All those counseling classes from grad school are coming in handy for myself. Or I just keep myself too busy to really have time to think about it. But sometimes the waiting gets too rough, and I end up crying in the middle of a restaurant during the lunch rush. Yes this happened. And sometimes, I have to step out of a meeting because I haven’t heard from him in 24 hours and just need that peace of mind.

Today, we were able to Skype for the first time since he left. Even though it was for like 8 minutes, it was still awesome! I feel very fortunate that we get as much contact as we do.

For the most part, I do pretty ok with him being gone. I had gotten used to him not being here with basic last spring, so this wasn’t that hard of a transition since he left again so soon after. Grace and I had not really gotten used to him being home in the first place, as bad as that may sound. And unlike basic, we actually get to speak this time around! But there are a few moments every day where it hits me: Grace does something that is super awesome (which is pretty much her every waking moment) or I see “How I Met Your Mother” in our Netflix queue, or the dirty dishes are piling up in the kitchen…So I let myself wallow for a second, accept it and move on and clean those dang dishes.

That’s really all that I can do, otherwise I would be spending all my time in bed crying into a box of ice cream. You have to get up every day and live it, otherwise what are they fighting for? So I do and hope for the best. I mean 9 months goes by super fast right?

Ha, well speaking of 9 months going quickly, my latest project is for my very pregnant other half, Jeannette. She is actually due with little Herman tomorrow!

I crocheted Herman this wonderful little blanket and was able to hand deliver it to Jeannette while I was at home this past weekend. Maybe next time he will be ready to see me when I visit!

Grace tested it out for us. She approved.

To end, this verse really helps me to have faith and remember to not constantly worry.

“Can all of your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27.

Well, no they probably don’t. Aha moment of the day, done. (I have to have this aha moment set on repeat though…)

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Moving In

Today marks the first day that some students can start officially moving into my building. Goodbye quiet and hello lots of excitement! I love this time of year with the anticipation of all the newness. It’s kind of like New Year’s for academics. It is like a fresh pallet. (Like the craft reference?) Staff training starts soon too, which is always a week full of brainstorming and awesome energy. You always hope that each year is going to be bigger and better than the last. Anyway, so the last couple days have been a fury of keys and killing trees to prepare staff binders, and just trying to get everything ready to open our buildings.

And appropriately, it is also move in day for Tom. He got the keys to our new home today. Unfortunately, because of our long distance, I cannot be there for that awesome moment of getting the keys to your first home that you get together. (Yes we lived here in Iowa together, but I lived here a year before Tom moved in with me.) This home in KY is the first place that is both of ours from the get go. So I have been getting the play by play of what each room looks like until he can get pictures. It kind of stinks to have your first impression over the phone, instead of in person. But we knew going into this, that we would both miss big moments in each other’s lives. Every day, we both make comments about wishing we could see what the other is talking about. Although, I believe I have the better deal because I get to be with our sweet dog Grace all the time! It is one of the sacrifices that the military forces us to make. So it really teaches us to make every moment count when we are together. Life is more than just the big stuff, but it still doesn’t make missing those things easy. We have a lot to be thankful for, so we just try to focus on that instead of all the stuff that we are missing. So all you couples and families together all the time, that comment that annoyed you or that chore you asked them to do that inevitably, is it really that big of a deal?  I say this to myself too, because don’t get me wrong I still complain. We still piss each other off at times, but as I reflect, there is no reason to harbor the feelings. Move past it and start enjoying each other again.

PS. I did tell Tom that he isn’t allowed to buy furniture without me. I have been dreaming about that probably as long as I did for my wedding! Fortunately, I have a husband who loves camping, and he is turning the next month into a big camping trip and living simple.  And luckily, he wont have to live in the empty home for long with his upcoming “work trip.” I am sure he is also using this as an excuse to be show himself how manly he can be. Just ask him about how he cut his watermelon last week.

So on to the crafts! For today’s post, I will include pictures of things that I finished up last week.

The first is a blanket that I made for a few friends of ours that recently moved into a new home. It was a “housewarming-thanks for being awesome couple friends” gift. And it was a nice excuse to try a new crochet stitch. I have never made bubbles before, so that was fun teaching myself. You can’t see them in the picture, but in person they add a really cool affect to it. It took me about a month to complete. (I will also say that I was working on two other blankets at the time as well that I haven’t finished yet.) I am pretty pleased with how this one turned out! And I am glad to hear the Garretts like it too.

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The next is my new bathroom art. I was originally going to use sticker letters and just peel them off after the paint dried, but I could not find any that were big enough that I liked. So I stenciled all the letters after the base coat dried. So it took me a little longer than I had planned. I then used an old toliet paper roll to make the bubbles. Great circles, just dip the ends in paint, and viola! It was a fun afternoon while I watched the Olympics. And I have to say, it makes me smile every time I’m using the potty.

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So since I started this canvas before I had decided to blog, it had not donned on me to do a prep picture. In the future I will try to do the progress pictures from start to finish.

Well that is it for today. I am hooked on the Olympics right now! Go USA!