When Love Gets Comfortable

This is not going to be your typical sappy lovey dovey post which are abundant with Valentine’s Day this weekend.

This is going to talk about those personal boundaries that are crossed once you fall in love and get comfortable.

Maybe too comfortable.

Remember when you first start dating someone, you try to look perfect around them all the time. You are almost frantic about having the perfect hair, fresh breath, and making sure you never mention bodily functions. And you glistened, no sweating here.

Over time I think it is natural for you to become more comfortable with that person and not feel like you have to go to bed with all your make-up on.

We have been together for almost 8 years and have lived together for 4 years. Eventually you start peeling back layers and your perfect facade isn’t so important anymore. Obviously this is Tom and I, and we will admit that maybe we have gotten too comfortable over the years.


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So here are 5 lines we have crossed in our boundaries as a couple.

1. We eat off of each others plates.This happened really early on. While some call it stealing of food, I just call it mutual property. I feel like there is an unwritten rule that whatever Tom has ordered, essentially I have ordered it too.

2. We have used each others toothbrushes. We each have our own, but sometimes it just happens that we use the other. Like when we are traveling, and one has forgotten it. We also keep our toothbrushes in different locations (his in the shower and mine in the vanity drawer), so there is a convenience/laziness to get our own factor. I mean seriously, why is this gross? We make out, so we are already swapping saliva.

3. We fart in front of each other. With my lack of smell, this kind of has gotten out of control we admit. We believe gas is natural so we let it out. You really shouldn’t be trying to suppress them. Tom does sometimes get upset with me because I really have no gates up about this one, and he can smell. Sucks for all y’all who have working nostrils.

4. Speaking of noses, we pick ours in front of each other. (We don’t pick each other’s…FYI. That would be gross.) I know it is inappropriate to go digging around your nose in public, but you are lying if you say you don’t occasionally have to pick your nose in private. And if you don’t, then you must not have the booger problems that the Whiteners do. (and well this has just gotten embarrassing.) It’s just something that happens for us. I have some pretty bad allergies, and for the record, Tom has the worst boogers on the planet so this was something I had to get over quick. Seriously he has boogers that he has to go in with tweezers and practically do surgery to get them out…quarter size boogers I tell you. It’s as gross as it sounds.

5. We leave the door open when we go to the bathroom. I would say that we only recently crossed this line. I haven’t really cared for awhile, but Tom was pretty adamant about keeping that part of our anatomy in secret. But when you have a bad case of food poisoning and are pretty much helpless in all functioning, Tom had to realize that I do indeed poop. Also when you watch your wife give birth and help her shower/walk/sit on a toilet for a few days after, pretty much any boundary that wasn’t crossed is now non-existent. I think his stint in the Army also made it more acceptable in our house to leave doors open.

For the record, one line I hate that we have crossed is putting sunblock on each other. I think it is disgusting to lotion someone else up. This may seem backwards considering what I have witnessed from Tom and other boundaries we have crossed, but there is something about putting lotion on someone else that gives me the heebeejeebees.


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Anyway, there is very little mystery in our relationship. Open books. There are some times where we think why are we letting the other see this? We also want to talk to high schoolers and say love is when you are able to talk about your poop to each other.

They love you at your best, and also stick with that love at your worst (and stinkiest).


Are we alone in our over-sharing? What do you still keep as a mystery with your significant other?