army

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Red Line Message

This is the subject line of an email that I received a few weeks ago. Red Lines are messages that are sent out to families to notify them that someone was killed where their soldier is located. In the message, it detailed that 3 soldiers attached to Tom’s unit were killed by a suicide bomber. (Now was this in the news? Not any that I saw. But that is a subject for another day.) In the letter, it does explain that it is not one of our 101st Airborne men, however this did not stop the panic attack that quickly ensued.

I know that the procedure is that I will be the first person to be notified if something were to happen. And I also know that it would be in person and not through an email. People in their right minds know these things. But I had just lost my grandparents, I hadn’t heard from Tom that day, and to top it off, I had just done a staff development activity on telling people around you that you appreciate them and not waiting until it’s too late, so my loopy mind kept going to the worst possible scenario. I was an absolute wreck that night. It was like that scene in “A League of their Own” when one of the players found out in the locker room her husband dies, and then Geena Davis lost it in a scene soon after because her husband was also in the military. I was Geena Davis, only my husband didn’t walk in to make it a magical moment. Bummer.

Tom was able to call me the next morning. He explained to me that he was no where near this incident, and the jobs were completely different than his. He also explained that when things like this happen they are under a “blackout” with communication which is why I hadn’t heard from him. This is so the families really are the first to know of the tragedy. Can you believe that people have found out from text messages from friends who heard before they did? So now they have very strict policies of how this information is disseminated.

Luckily, I do get to speak to Tom pretty much every day. They have phones and computers, and he does a good job trying to find time when I am awake to call. He is about 10ish hours ahead of us, so he is often calling in the middle of the night where he is just so he doesn’t disturb my slumber. Good man.

It still is difficult though. I never know when he is going to call. Each day his schedule and mine are different. I would be lying if I don’t look at my phone several times an hour hoping that it rings. I worry all the time about his safety. His calls are all I have to know that he made it through another day, well that and his updated Facebook statuses.

I try not to think about it too often to ward off anxiety attacks. I have a lot of personal pep talks in my head to try to stay positive and know that Tom is doing all that he can to come home safe with his unit. All those counseling classes from grad school are coming in handy for myself. Or I just keep myself too busy to really have time to think about it. But sometimes the waiting gets too rough, and I end up crying in the middle of a restaurant during the lunch rush. Yes this happened. And sometimes, I have to step out of a meeting because I haven’t heard from him in 24 hours and just need that peace of mind.

Today, we were able to Skype for the first time since he left. Even though it was for like 8 minutes, it was still awesome! I feel very fortunate that we get as much contact as we do.

For the most part, I do pretty ok with him being gone. I had gotten used to him not being here with basic last spring, so this wasn’t that hard of a transition since he left again so soon after. Grace and I had not really gotten used to him being home in the first place, as bad as that may sound. And unlike basic, we actually get to speak this time around! But there are a few moments every day where it hits me: Grace does something that is super awesome (which is pretty much her every waking moment) or I see “How I Met Your Mother” in our Netflix queue, or the dirty dishes are piling up in the kitchen…So I let myself wallow for a second, accept it and move on and clean those dang dishes.

That’s really all that I can do, otherwise I would be spending all my time in bed crying into a box of ice cream. You have to get up every day and live it, otherwise what are they fighting for? So I do and hope for the best. I mean 9 months goes by super fast right?

Ha, well speaking of 9 months going quickly, my latest project is for my very pregnant other half, Jeannette. She is actually due with little Herman tomorrow!

I crocheted Herman this wonderful little blanket and was able to hand deliver it to Jeannette while I was at home this past weekend. Maybe next time he will be ready to see me when I visit!

Grace tested it out for us. She approved.

To end, this verse really helps me to have faith and remember to not constantly worry.

“Can all of your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27.

Well, no they probably don’t. Aha moment of the day, done. (I have to have this aha moment set on repeat though…)

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There is no “I” in Team

The closer that we get to deployment day, the more I realize that my independence is going to be challenged. I am used to doing things on my own. I am very self-motivated, and usually don’t need others to push me through life’s obstacles. That is not to say that I don’t know how to work in a team (this is pretty much my daily life at work), but when it comes to personal issues I have always been good at managing things on my own. At least, I think I am- says the independent woman in me.

Well, when you become an Army wife, you instantly become part of a network of people that is unlike any other. It is a place where you attend things because that is part of your duty as a wife. (The feminist in me just starts screaming…) You don’t really “deal” with life on your own. This was super hard for me to adjust to. Most of you know Tom, and know that he has a strong personality, but never is he really able to tell me what to do. Nor am I able to really tell him what to do. We work things out together and compromise. We just do what we need to do to be awesome, simple as that. So naturally, being “told” that these “wife” meetings are supposed to be my job kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be there to support my husband just as he has supported me through my work. Needless to say, getting used to being the “dutiful” wife has been an adjustment. And maybe I am having a harder time with it because I still have yet to move into the world of an army base where this is just every day life. I am sure that I will be so grateful and relieved when I actually do move for this support network to be in place. And what I am saying may sound like I am unhappy with this group, which is not the case. I do appreciate being kept in the loop since Tom’s world is about to be turned upside down. And these women know the best way to be of support not only to our partners but also to each other. I am just not used to my husband defining who I am, and this is a huge adjustment for me to make. I mean my life’s work is all about respecting everyone’s individuality and being your own person. So when I hear these messages from the Army like “Oh your wife could move here with you to work at the pool” you can see how there could be some frustration and some “You don’t know me!” attitude going through my head.

God knows me best though, for He keeps having the Army throw little life lessons at me to get out of my stubborn independent ways. For example, last week I received an email from Tom’s Platoon Sgt’s wife. She was letting me know that any time that I am not at my permanent address that they have on file that I need to make her aware of those trips. At first I was really frustrated because I felt like part of my personal freedom was taken away, and I was back under my parent’s house/rules. I mean really? I am 27, and I have to report when I go on a trip with an address, time, and all other specific details? However, the more I thought about this network and their role, the more I understood the importance of these details. And then the somberness of it hit me. They will need to be able to notify me if something happens to my husband. Bam. Nothing like doom to bring you down a peg. So it is moments like these that bring me back to reality that I am not in this deployment by myself, no matter how much I try to handle it on my own. And ultimately, it’s not about me. Life lesson…done.

And in the spirit of team, student staff training began this week, which brought on all kinds of team goodness. Yes, we did the human knot and answered personal questions off a ball. All week, I have been preaching to my staff about how they are not alone and that the team is their biggest asset, and many other teamy one liners like that. ( I should really listen to my own advise huh?)

I will say that this is one team that I have no problem utilizing to the full extent. I have a great group of colleagues that I know that I can call for help at any time. I also am fortunate to work with some of the best students on campus. I am biased I know, but they are a pretty cool crew. These are the people that I know will keep me sane and grounded in the upcoming months. Although Tom and I are about to go through the toughest part of our relationship, I know that this team I have here at Iowa State are a wonderful group of people that I can lean on at anytime. I do feel truly blessed to know that I have that support here.
And fortunately, ISU allows for my creative side to come out! I was able to do several “crafts” this week.

One is pretty simple. I miss doing bulletin boards, but I never have time to do them like I did when I was a student. So I carved out some time this summer to make sure I was able to do our opening staff board. Like I said, it is simple, but it was fun to make! And there is a little satisfaction and a “Yes!” cheer going through my head when I see people stopping to read what I put up.

The second project was our end of training event, and by far the most exciting craft to date! It took a little effort from the entire staff, which makes it better than anything I could have made on my own. Plus it was a really fun way to get re-energized and not so bummed after stuffing opening packets for what seemed like a century.

So we started off with a drop cloth from Lowe’s and some duct tape for our words.

My partner at work had some spare syringes from his numerous medical trips which happen to be great paint throwers. We gave one to each staff member and lined the outside of the cloth with bowls of paint. Then you just let them go at it until all the paint is gone.

We let it dry for a couple of days. My advice if you try to do this is to not let it completely dry before you take of the tape. Our paint became crunchy and some was pulled off with the tape, which we don’t think would happen if the paint was still semi-damp.

I think it looks awesome! As my husband put it, this would have been cliche to do in the 90s but since we are doing it in 2012 we are doing a cool throwback.

So now this is a great memento that we have at the desk that helps create a welcoming atmosphere to all of our residents and guests.

And it was a great TEAM effort!

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Moving In

Today marks the first day that some students can start officially moving into my building. Goodbye quiet and hello lots of excitement! I love this time of year with the anticipation of all the newness. It’s kind of like New Year’s for academics. It is like a fresh pallet. (Like the craft reference?) Staff training starts soon too, which is always a week full of brainstorming and awesome energy. You always hope that each year is going to be bigger and better than the last. Anyway, so the last couple days have been a fury of keys and killing trees to prepare staff binders, and just trying to get everything ready to open our buildings.

And appropriately, it is also move in day for Tom. He got the keys to our new home today. Unfortunately, because of our long distance, I cannot be there for that awesome moment of getting the keys to your first home that you get together. (Yes we lived here in Iowa together, but I lived here a year before Tom moved in with me.) This home in KY is the first place that is both of ours from the get go. So I have been getting the play by play of what each room looks like until he can get pictures. It kind of stinks to have your first impression over the phone, instead of in person. But we knew going into this, that we would both miss big moments in each other’s lives. Every day, we both make comments about wishing we could see what the other is talking about. Although, I believe I have the better deal because I get to be with our sweet dog Grace all the time! It is one of the sacrifices that the military forces us to make. So it really teaches us to make every moment count when we are together. Life is more than just the big stuff, but it still doesn’t make missing those things easy. We have a lot to be thankful for, so we just try to focus on that instead of all the stuff that we are missing. So all you couples and families together all the time, that comment that annoyed you or that chore you asked them to do that inevitably, is it really that big of a deal?  I say this to myself too, because don’t get me wrong I still complain. We still piss each other off at times, but as I reflect, there is no reason to harbor the feelings. Move past it and start enjoying each other again.

PS. I did tell Tom that he isn’t allowed to buy furniture without me. I have been dreaming about that probably as long as I did for my wedding! Fortunately, I have a husband who loves camping, and he is turning the next month into a big camping trip and living simple.  And luckily, he wont have to live in the empty home for long with his upcoming “work trip.” I am sure he is also using this as an excuse to be show himself how manly he can be. Just ask him about how he cut his watermelon last week.

So on to the crafts! For today’s post, I will include pictures of things that I finished up last week.

The first is a blanket that I made for a few friends of ours that recently moved into a new home. It was a “housewarming-thanks for being awesome couple friends” gift. And it was a nice excuse to try a new crochet stitch. I have never made bubbles before, so that was fun teaching myself. You can’t see them in the picture, but in person they add a really cool affect to it. It took me about a month to complete. (I will also say that I was working on two other blankets at the time as well that I haven’t finished yet.) I am pretty pleased with how this one turned out! And I am glad to hear the Garretts like it too.

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The next is my new bathroom art. I was originally going to use sticker letters and just peel them off after the paint dried, but I could not find any that were big enough that I liked. So I stenciled all the letters after the base coat dried. So it took me a little longer than I had planned. I then used an old toliet paper roll to make the bubbles. Great circles, just dip the ends in paint, and viola! It was a fun afternoon while I watched the Olympics. And I have to say, it makes me smile every time I’m using the potty.

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So since I started this canvas before I had decided to blog, it had not donned on me to do a prep picture. In the future I will try to do the progress pictures from start to finish.

Well that is it for today. I am hooked on the Olympics right now! Go USA!

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The back story…

So I am new to blogging, so excuse the randomness that you are about to read.

So here is a little history of how I got here. My husband, Tom and I have been married for a little over a year. We love to make things for our apartment. All of our hanging decor in our apartment is either made by us or by a family member.

I have always been a crafty. My parents definitely made art something that was a focal point for us as kids. After hearing about artsy things for so long and seeing my dad crochet, my step-mom make an absolutely beautiful home (especially at Christmas) and my mom make whatever nifty thing she did for the school craft shows, you just want to emulate that. And it just sticks. For example, I use to have a lanyard business when I was in elementary school. I never made any money, but I made scads of plastic-beaded lanyards for friends and family, whether they wanted them or not. So that should give you some idea that I love making things with my hands and definitely use it as a stress relief.

My husband is part of the 101st Airborne unit based out of Fort Campbell, KY. He is an infantryman. I am so proud of him, and I am so glad that he is happy with his career after so many hardships in that area. Yay for the economy! We are currently doing the long distance thing since he just moved there after basic, and I still have my job with Iowa State University. I will be staying in Iowa for the time being because come September, Tom will be heading overseas for his first deployment. It’s hard justifying leaving a job I love for an empty home in a strange place.

This is something that we knew was coming eventually, however, neither of us were quite ready for it to happen in September. So what is the first thing I did when I found out that my husband would really be at war in a little over a month? I made door decs for my staff. It is melted crayons on poster board with foam sticker letters.

For those of you not familiar with my job, I am a Hall Director for Iowa State University. I oversee a residential building of 1300 students and supervise a staff of 12 community advisers (or RAs). So there are lots of opportunities for crafts with door decs, bulletin boards, and office organization, and other random things.

Obviously, these door decs are much more elaborate than most. They took me about 3 hours to do just 16 different names. Craziness, I know. But, I felt so accomplished!

Right now Tom is in training, so every day I get to hear how he is training to keep himself and his team alive. Really awesome as a wife right?

And to pile on to this stress, there is also a lot of other random stressors going on with work (Did you know that August is a big month for colleges?) and with some family things. So I started thinking about how I am going to get through the next 10 months of being without the one person who always manages to calm me down. CRAFTS!

I started scouring Pinterest, and my craft board grew and grew. I even made a list of the crafts I wanted to do and in what order. And then came the idea of crafting my way through his deployment. Genius.

I happened to share this idea with some friends, and they all immediately suggested to blog my creation adventures. So here we are.

I do not aim to be funny, inspirational, or really anything, although I hope you all enjoy seeing what I am able to come up with! This will just be an outlet to share my goodies!

I have not set up that I will do a project a week or anything structured like that. That seems a little too much pressure knowing my schedule, and I don’t want this to become a chore. Again, this is supposed to be my stress-relief. My projects will be things that I do for work, gifts for others, and just personal satisfaction. I welcome ideas and suggestions!

So let’s see how this goes…Enjoy!