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Gobble till you Wobble

It is probably cliche that I am going to write a post about gratitude the week of Thanksgiving. Well get over it, it’s happening.

I have been wanting to write a message of thanks to the outpouring of support my family has received since Tom went overseas, but I just haven’t found the right words to do so. I am still not quite sure if I can express all of my gratitude to those around us as eloquently as I wish too, but I needed to say thanks somehow.
With the holidays coming up, I have been wondering lately how I am going to get through a time where family is the focus without mine present. I just kept focusing on what Tom and I would be missing out on. I mean this is the first time in 5 years he and I will not have been together for the holidays. I selfishly kept wallowing about the fact that my husband left me for the holidays. The feeling of being alone is highlighted exponentially at this time. Then I did something absentmindedly last week that reminded me that even though there are parts that stink about this, we have so much to be thankful for. (And really he didn’t choose to be gone at this time of year, so I needed to get over myself and stop being a Lifetime Christmas Special Movie.)

So Iowa State has an obsession with listserves. There are listserves for everything and everyone. Well this week, I had a Dawson’s Creek moment like when Joey sent a private message to all of campus. Fortunately, mine had positive effects instead of the public embarrassment Joey encountered.   I have been sending out emails requesting help with sending Tom and his unit items they need or want. This week I added all the appropriate groups, and pressed send. A few hours later, I get an email from one of my residents saying that she had some letters she hoped that she could give me to send in Tom’s packages. I know that I have talked about Tom and said things during Friley Senate (our hall council meetings), but I was still really confused about the timing of this email. Then I realized what silly thing I did. Instead of sending this request email to the Upper Friley staff, I accidentally sent it to ALL of Upper Friley. Yep, all 630 of them. I then started having several conversations/emails of people wanting to give letters or items. After just  a few days, this was the stock I got.

Overwhelmed.

Here are students coming out to give items to people they have never met, just because I sent a very vague email about this dude named Tom. Seriously, I didn’t even mention that Tom was in the service, which apparently prompted many people to talk to their CAs on who Tom was. Double bonus-community builder!

Speechless and humbled. I still am not really sure how to react to all the donations.

Not only am I thankful for the students who have helped donate in this last week because of my slight of hand, but I am extremely appreciative for individuals who have helped over the last few months. Countless people have come and dropped off goodies for me to ship. I don’t even mind that now the post office knows me by name, and that they have to restock their custom forms and flat rate boxes every time I come in! Two other buildings here at ISU did Penny Wars to raise funds for donations and to help cover the cost of postage. Again for people they have never met; although, they did plaster pictures of Tom all over their hall desk. My sister-in-law did a request at the elementary school where she teaches, and has had similar reactions to sponsor Tom’s unit. Kindergartners are giving up their allowance to provide items for these soldiers. Isn’t that seriously the cutest thing?

There is so much bad press out there about the military, and I often feel that we are in our own little world sometimes. I feel that people forget those who are in the military and seriously misunderstand what they are doing for our country. And that sometimes, they just want a bag of Twizzlers to get them through the day (or the cold desert night). But this is the time that I want to say a big sincere thank you for the support that people have shown us in the last few months, even if it is just buying a box of easy mac or coordinating large scale efforts to show support. It reminded me at a time that I needed it that I have so much to be thankful for.

It’s nice to be able to send a little piece of home to Tom and his buddies, so thank you for helping make that happen. I am grateful for it all.

As for the family that I do get to see over the holidays-here is a little sneak peak of a gift I will be giving.

This Birthday Board project was the most in depth that I have attempted to do so far. I had to ask for help from my neighbor, Dick. And it took me a couple weeks to finish it.

You will need:

  • A long board
  • wooden letters
  • paint
  • wooden circles
  • screw eyes
  • jewelry circles
  • paint pen
  • a drill

First I had Dick drill holes into all the wooden circles and the long board. Thanks for the help Neighbs!

Then once this was completed, the painting began. This took me a couple days to complete. I didn’t realize there was so much to paint!

I painted each letter a different color, and I also did 4 of the wooden circles in each color. I used the thumbtacks to help make it easier to paint each item without getting paint all over myself. The wooden circles I painted both sides. Looking back now that it is complete, I could have dipped the circles into paint and covered the screws up completely with paint. That might have gone faster, but would have been a little messier and probably wasted some paint.

On each circle, I wrote someone’s name and the day of their birthday using a paint pen. (I just did the immediate family, so I made a lot of blank circles to accommodate others that this person wants to remember.)

I used some circle hooks that I found in the jewelry section of hobby lobby to fasten all the screw hooks together.

Once all the paint was dry, I glued the wooden letters onto the long board and added the white letters for the months of the year. I used some small foam letters that we had around as stamps.

So there is the final product of the family birthday board. And apparently on the Whitener side, I am the only one without a birthday month buddy.

It will be cool to see this grow as names are added!

Again, thank you for all the love and support as Tom and I go through this adventure!
Now it is time to celebrate the best holiday of the year because it is all about giving thanks, family and food! Gobble till you wobble friends!

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The Can Can

Today is Veteran’s Day. It is the day that reminds most people that there are veterans around the country and in our past that have fought for our freedoms. Unfortunately, it may be the only day of the year that some actually think about what that means.

Our armed forces have protected our country for centuries, allowing us to live the way we do today. We, Americans, are pretty fortunate. The men and women who work for our military do it for many reasons, but whatever that reason may be it is still a selfless act to be in the service. Most people are not willing to give back to our country in this way. I won’t go into all the sacrifices hoopla; for that you can read other posts. I just want to challenge the thought of only honoring their valiant community service on just this one day.

So with this challenge I encourage you to think about how you give to others. Do you give back in whatever way you can? I believe that we all have the time and means to do something for someone. Maybe the way that you can honor those who are Veterans this year is to make a promise to do a selfless act yourself.

I have done a lot of reflecting this year with Tom’s new commitment and then watching my grandparents pass away on how I wanted to serve. I have always been passionate about service projects and make sure that it is a focus at my job as well as my personal life. I have my staff do service projects each semester, and I promote them in my building. One of my favorite things I have done is volunteer every year with Special Olympics as a basketball coach. This is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, and I swear I get more out of the deal than they do. But thinking about these three individuals in my life and how they have selflessly given their time, I was impelled to do more. So my personal promise is to do at least one service project each month.

So far so good.

Yesterday, my staff and I went to Meals for the Heartland. This is a group that packages meals for villages in Africa. We spent only 45 minutes packing rice and protein powder in bags, and we still managed to make over 300 meals. The center itself made over 6,000 meals during this one weekend. We barely spent an afternoon there, but we still were able to make an impact.

It’s things like this that I believe we can all do to pay tribute to the freedoms we have. There are so many opportunities to help others, and they don’t have to be grandiose. I have had a lot of small opportunities in the community here that I have been able to give a little of myself. So I encourage you to get out there and serve one another, just as our Veterans are doing or have done for us.

I really enjoy this quote. It makes you realize that even if it is small it can make a difference always.

Do all the good you can,

By all the means you can,

In all the ways you can,

In all the places you can,

At all the times you can,

To all the people you can,

As long as ever you can.

-John Wesley
And after you serve others, you can congratulate your good deed by doing crafts! Ok maybe that’s not for everyone.

My craft tonight is a present I will be giving away here soon.

It is pretty simple. You just need one of the glass blocks, glass beads, and a string of lights. I got a few different shapes of beads, and they come in all kinds of colors so you can get whatever your heart desires there.

I just hot-glued the beads to the box. It took me about an hour to do all the gluing. Then I stuck the lights in the bottom of the block where there is an opening.

And then you get this:

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Hakuna Matata

This weekend, a couple friends of mine traveled with me to the closest military base. We went to explore the Post Exchange/commissary and see what we could find. In my head, I thought it was going to be this extravagant grocery store that I had seen at Ft. Campbell. And that turned out to be not so much the case. This base does not have quite the same amenities as bases I have been to before. The PX was basically a gas station convenience store. I got some good candy, and Linda and Melissa both got a Camelbak that says “hydrate or die.”  We also drove around the base for about 5 minutes seeing all the sites. It just boggles my mind to think how different this was from Ft. Campbell and Benning, which are both massive bases. But if you think about it, they each have different jobs and demands on their soldiers, so it makes sense. I am sad that I was not able to find my Odwalla juices for a dollar though.

Even though I was not able to do the shopping that I wanted, it was still nice to share the experience with friends. I was able to blend my two worlds for once.

I have been watching the series FRIENDS lately. It is absolutely hysterical. I highly recommend it. (I am also convinced that Tom and I are a real life version of Monica and Chandler.) This show is all about the bonds of friendship and how as a group they can get through anything together. The iconic theme song has a pretty awesome message too-“I’ll be there for you.”

My friends here in Ames are one big reason why I have not moved yet. Having this support system already in place is a Godsend. Whether they realize it or not, they give me a reason to get off the couch and out of my apartment. They help me relieve stress and keep my mind off the fact that I haven’t heard from Tom in 24 hours. Just being around them makes me not worry. It’s when I am alone that I freak out the most, like for example today on the drive to volleyball. I started realizing that I have not talked to Tom since Friday, so what does my brain do? It starts envisioning military personnel standing outside my door waiting to tell me the worst. Oh or every time someone has called in the last week for political garb, I panic when I see the unknown number calling me to tell me something has happened to my husband. So I apologize for anyone who has called me wanting me to vote for so and so. I have been pretty short to them because I get so worked up before I answer the phone. Whoops. I also have been having nightmares that they wont be able to find me since I live in a residence hall to tell me anything. See how easy the mind wonders? So having people to distract me is so helpful. They help keep my life normal.

I know that I would have people to reach out to in Ft. Campbell, but the decision to stay here was obviously the right one for now. My life kind of got turned upside down in some ways in September. If I would have moved, everything would have been unfamiliar, and I would have become a shut-in. It’s been comforting to be here in Ames where I have a place and people to lean on already. I didn’t have to work at establishing that once Tom left. Ames has been my constant. The friends that I have here are great, and I am not quite ready to start friend dating again. They don’t teach you how to do that in school.

I know that the move is coming someday soon, and I am sure I will forge on and make new life-long friends. But for now, Ames people are my security blanket.

What a great segue! My blanket project for this entry is something that has been a long time coming. I started this blanket a year ago. I got carried away with the size. Unfortunately, I still stink at judging the length/width with the first couple lines. But by the time I realize how big the silly thing will be, I have already invested too much time to dare pull it all out.

Anyway, my intention was for this blanket to be a gift for my previous graduate student, Tiffany. We had been together for two years and had begun our Ames journey together. She graduated last May, so you can see how I failed meeting my goal to have it done by the time she graduated. I will also defend myself that it took longer than I had planned because you have to change the yarn on every row, which takes more time. I also had to really pay attention to the pattern on this one, which again took more time.

I did a crochet boucan pattern. Here is the video I used as a guide.

This woman is awesome at teaching crochet stitches. I have watched several of her videos, and she breaks it down really well for you.

Even though it has been a rough time getting it done, I would say that this turned out to be one of my favorites. It looks pretty snazzy! Go Cyclones!

Grace doesn’t like it when I put the blankets on the ground to take photos. She has to inspect it. And see what I mean about it being massive?
Here is the pattern up close.

In parting, they say “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” I say that’s silly. Why would I want to hang out with people who make me miserable? Friends keep you going even when you are at your lowest low. They are there to remind you of “Hakuna matata.” No worries, we got you.

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Say What?

Tonight my craft entry is dedicated to Tom’s craftiness. He wanted to share a past project we did. In all fairness though, my family provided the dresser, and that was really all my input. Well, that and picking out the tile. Tom did all the work and deserves all the credit!

My parents are getting ready to downsize, so they are getting rid of a lot of things, one being this old dresser. As you can see, it needed some major upgrades.

We wanted to make it into a kitchen island. I will never forget the argument that ensued before we started this project. Tom and I had the hardest time communicating with each other what we envisioned for this island. We both lost patience with each other and were too stubborn to actually hear what the other was saying. That was the longest drive from Jeff City to Ames. (It is really difficult to fight while you have a 5 hour drive ahead of you. You can’t really escape it.)

Needless to say, we still have issues from time to time communicating with each other. And only being able to talk in brief spurts does not help. Tom has gotten even shorter with his patience after being trained to give information as quickly as possible, and because I don’t get much time it only makes sense for me to want to explain everything from every which way and being extremely long-winded. It’s an awful combination. So naturally, we get into tiffs every now and then trying to understand each other. Fortunately, we are mature enough now to call each other out and know when we need to step back for a second. And most of the time, we realize that we are more frustrated with the situation than we are with each other. But you take it out on the people you love most, right? Even though we have spent a majority of our relationship apart, we still have to find that balance with communication, and it needs tweaking every now and then.

And trying to figure it out when the blasted phone hangs up on us every few minutes is lame. Although, to be honest, that may soften us up a bit and make us forget what we are arguing about or realize that it was pretty dumb to be arguing over the Sprint account password. We become more frustrated with the phones than with each other, and then we get all mushy with the “I’m sorry” goodness. Delightful.

Then there are the small things about instant communication that I miss. I miss being able to tell Tom anything whenever. You know when you do something really embarrassing, and you want to tell someone how ridiculous you were? Tom is that person I can tell, and he will laugh at me, but he wouldn’t think anything less of me. (He does continue to razz me about things though.) Like talking about having a dog wedding or how I recently have forgotten to zip up my pants on many occasions. (FYI, I would appreciate you all not staring at my crotch. I already feel like a little kid forgetting so many times.) Today we had a conversation about bodily functions that 5 years ago would have disgusted Tom to pieces. Now, it is just what it is. When I talk to Tom, it’s like I open my mouth and all my insides just spill out. It’s just nice to have someone to just be completely open with without holding back because of embarrassment. Now Grace gets the brunt of my embarrassing moments, and she handles it pretty well. She never laughs at me, which I can’t say about my husband. Hmmmm, maybe I need to rethink this…

Besides sharing these things with my dog, I have resorted to still sending Tom texts with my ridiculousness. He is not able to see any texts right now, so it is going to be a real fun when he gets a few dozen of them by the time he comes home.

When you get right down to it with relationships, you have to learn to how to communicate. We have had to work really hard with this, especially with the changing dynamics of our relationship due to distance/circumstances. We are constantly trying to figure out each other and make the most of the situation. I think the fact that we are really open with each other helps us grow stronger together. We definitely don’t always agree, but we somehow manage to make it work. And part of that is understanding the art of compromise. Like this dresser for example. We both wanted it to look a certain way. At first we had a lot of trouble communicating what we wanted, but eventually we found ways to show our intentions and designs. From this, we had to compromise and meet in the middle with our ideas and blend them together.

I think the result is pretty awesome! Tom did a great job putting it together!

Now the dresser that my brother and I used as target practice, is a beautiful island that we use everyday.

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Who let the dogs out?

This weekend, I have had the pleasure of dog sitting one of my friend’s dog, Teddy. He is one of Grace’s besties, so it works out that she gets a playmate for the day. They have been a hoot to watch all day!

Grace and Teddy!

Having two little rascals really highlighted the fact that right now I am a “single mom.” When Tom is home we obviously share the responsibilites of letting the dog outside, exercising her, and just generally taking care of Gracie. I sure do miss having him here to help, especially now that it’s getting colder outside. It is nice to have someone else to help with the load.

I have been contemplating lately how I am going to do the holidays this year with Grace. Last year, Tom was here so we could trade off who would watch her while we were home visiting our parents. So it was rare that we would have to pawn her off to our parents to watch. Plus my parents are divorced, so I have to go to several different houses in order to see everyone, which means Grace has to move with me. Without Tom, there are a lot more things that I have to consider. It is not as easy to just go to Chili’s with Annette and Jeannette, because then I would have to leave Grace kenneled up alone or hope that my parents don’t have plans so they can watch her. And then there is the issue of just traveling alone with her. Grace gets really bad anxiety when she is left alone, so I really have to time out my potty breaks and hope she doesn’t destroy the car. Before Tom and I would trade off who would watch her, and it seemed so easy. And trying to get her kennel and all the other luggage out of the car while managing her is awful to do alone. Although, I am sure it is pretty comical trying to watch me carry as much as I can while juggling her leash hopping she doesn’t pull me over.

All in all, Grace and I have gotten into a pretty good routine that it works out alright. It is just on those really long days where I have meetings back to back that I feel like Grace is getting neglected. And I can’t just leave town or be gone all day shopping; I have to make plans around Grace’s schedule and make sure I have someone to watch her. I miss having my partner.

I also feel bad at times talking about how awesome our dog is when I am on the phone with Tom. I know he misses her so much, and here I am rubbing in the fact that I get to play with her every day. I mean seriously, I am supposed to cheer him up, not bring him down about missing home. So I have this argument with myself of whether I should be telling him how she runs laps around me at night when we go for our bedtime potty, that we had a really good snuggle that morning, or that she is somewhat getting the hang of laying down. It can’t be easy for him to know he is missing things and fearing that she won’t remember him when he comes home. But it is not easy for me either hearing how he misses her when I tell her the latest “Grace is great” story. I want him to be here to share these moments with me.

I know that Grace is only a dog, but it does require a little more planning now that I am raising her on my own, Which makes me admire military spouses who have to take care of children through a deployment even more. I am thankful that Tom and I haven’t started our family yet, because it would break my heart every day for him to be missing out on the little day to day things that our kids will do. It is a sacrifice that we choose, but that doesn’t make it suck any less. And unfortunately, the military is awful with it’s timing and will take parents away from their newborn children which makes them miss most of the kid’s first year. There is a family in Tom’s unit that had a baby the week after they deployed. To think about how that father missed out on seeing his child’s first breaths…sigh. The sun still rises and sets whether our significant others are present or not, so we also have to keep getting up too and keep our families moving and grooving. We have to do the best we can with messages and pictures to keep our loved ones in the loop. Thank goodness for the internet and modern technology! My heart goes out to the families that are here trying to make do without an intrical part of their family unit.

And this is a shout out to my parents who were single parents for awhile before they remarried. I still have no idea how they managed to get my brother and I both where we needed to be. Sometimes I feel like I cannot manage Grace let alone trying to wrangle two other human beings who were not perfect angles. But they both showed Randall and I what it means to be a family and caring for one another no matter what the circumstances may be.

Today’s craft was probably the easiest thing ever. It took me all of 5 minutes, while I was on the phone with Tom.

I made a shadow box holder for tickets. I have always wanted to do something with the tickets we have to events, movies, concerts, etc. It’s cool to remember what you have been to, and I am not big on scrapbooking to mark it that way. So I saw this Pinterest and made it.

All you need is a shadow box and scrapbooking stickers. I will warn you that shadowboxes are expensive. I waited until they were on sale and used a Hobby Lobby coupon. (On that note, I highly suggest signing up for Hobby Lobby’s weekly coupons and deals. Every week, I get a 40% off coupon for a single item. Not that I use it every week, but it does come in handy!)

And then you just slip the tickets in. Voila, craft done.