Crochet

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Continue on my walk

This month I participated in a book discussion on the book “Christmas is Not Your Birthday” by Mike Slaughter.

It is a book that looks at the commercialism that surrounds Christmas and trying to get to the heart of “the reason  for the season.”

This short read made me think about things like how we have come to idolize Santa and all the stress that surrounds this time of year. We want everything to be perfect from the presents, food and parties. We focus on how much other people are going to react and view us. Or we try to top what we did last year.

The first Christmas Tom and I were together, I was able to score Blue October tickets. This really was awesome-score girlfriend points for me! Many birthdays and Christmases after that, I felt like I was always competing and trying to outdo myself and get him something even better. Why couldn’t I just enjoy the fact that that is one of the best memories he and I have and just leave it at that? Why do I need to do more or spend more? Was this perfect gift really the only way I could tell him how much I loved him? Why couldn’t I be ok with just buying him a tub of sprinkles and icing? Materialistic reasons I guess, or thinking I have something to prove and something to gain?

So what is Christmas about really? Isn’t it about Jesus being born? Hmmm? A baby being born in less than desired and even scandalous conditions (unwed parents, a carpenter’s son, child persecution, in a stable no less)? Not quite as cool as reindeer flying and a big jolly man who brings me presents!

Goodness we have become pretty selfish people.

Christmas should be about living and giving like Jesus did. If you look at his life, you see that he resisted the obsessions of man. You see a man who cared so deeply for others. He lived as we live and felt as we feel. He had pain and suffering. He made the ultimate sacrifice. He was not plump and have rosy cheeks with a hint of glitter on them. Although I do see Jesus having a hearty laugh.

Here is a quote that I enjoyed the most from the book-“…at Christmas we should celebrate the birth of the Messiah who was born not only to die sacrificially for us but to show us how to live sacrificially.”

I had to think hard about how I am doing this in my own life. The discussion leader prompted us with some tough questions that I was not always ready to answer, but all things I needed to look at. (I think we all have had those “I don’t wanna” moments.)

We should celebrate a life of service. We spend so much time focusing on giving others the “perfect present” that we do not even blink an eye thinking about how we can give the perfect give to Him. All he asks for is for us to give ourselves up. When I think about my grandparents and how much they gave, I am always in awe. But they were always some of the happiest people I have ever encountered. They had so much joy even when they “had” what seemed to be so little.

Now I know these are my beliefs and my interpretation, but wouldn’t the perfect gift be to “love one another as I [God] have loved you?” We were called to serve one another, not to buy out a Macy’s.

As Tom and I discuss starting our own family, this book made me really think about how we want to raise our kids. Of course we want to have our own traditions, and I will be honest we will still give gifts. But we really do want to focus on the service of others. There is a real joy found in the experiences of serving others that I want to pass on to my children. I want them to feel the importance of influencing others instead of always wanting for themselves. Since we do not have children yet, we are still kicking around some ideas on how this may play out. One that we did really like was having our kids go through their toys before Christmas day and picking ones to give away and donating them somewhere.

This whole thing really made me think about the traditions we have and think about the intent of each one. This was a really easy read but had topics that are not always so easy to swallow.  I was forced to look at the world through a different lens. I think we are also at a point in our nation where if we don’t like it we tend to tune it out. We don’t want to hear criticisms in a “Here’s Your Good Job Ribbon” society. We talk a big game, but we don’t always walk the walk.

But I think we all need to take a good hard look at how we are living out our lives. I know I am sounding like a broken record about service, but it is such an easy thing to do. Even if you don’t believe in God, you can still believe in humanity. Believe that there are good in people and be willing to give your time and skills for others. Help your neighbor, help a stranger, just be there for others. (Now I am a good pile of mush inside…)

Here’s a little more to restore your faith in something…http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/moments-that-restored-our-faith-in-humanity-this-y

I am sure we have all seen the signs that say “Keep Christ in Christmas.” I understand that not everyone who celebrates Christmas actually believes in Christ, but I would hope that everyone can stress a little less and remember the joy that giving can bring.

Tom posted a status the other day that said “Stop complaining about Christmas season stress, it could be worse.”

Yep you could be a 16 year old mom who just gave birth to her first child in a pile of dung. Oh wait she was in a pristine white dress with a blue scarf with a radiant light all around her…

Christmas is a reminder that God shows up in the most unexpected places. And with all of the hype about religion in schools after Friday’s shootings, I think many need this reminder.

I am sure Mary was not ready for what God has planned for her. She brings a whole new meaning to “16 and Pregnant.”

God understands what we are going through, he sent Jesus to walk with us and sacrifice for us. God knows our pain, and I believe he doesn’t send bad things down from heaven to punish us for not praying in schools. We live in a world that gets messy. We just need to have faith-which can happen anywhere and on any day.

Anyway, take a minute to think about how you view your holiday season. It might give you an opportunity to appreciate things a little bit more.

My craft tonight is for a friend of mine. It’s my first paid gig! Thanks Ashley! It was fun to make.

It was all single stitch crochet. I just alternated the amounts of rows between colors.

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Happy Holidays everyone!

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Marriage IS Awesome

This last week, I have had several opportunities to ponder on the meaning of marriage.

A week ago, I had the wonderful pleasure of watching two of my dear friends get married. It was a wonderful touching ceremony and a huge celebration of their love. Let’s tip it one more time! It is a beautiful experience to watch two people make such a personal statement of commitment to each other.

Aww, love.

Recently, I was chatting with some friends of mine about the “big” commitment of marriage. We were talking about people’s timelines and needing to be ready to make that promise to someone else. Being the only one in this group who was married, I felt it was my duty to stick up for marriage. So I said that I think it is pretty awesome. (True statement, I do.) To which one of my friends jokingly responded with something along the lines of, “Yeah says the person who doesn’t even live with their spouse.”

I know they were trying to get a laugh and were only poking fun, but the comment kind of shut me up and made me retreat a little bit.

So do people really think my marriage is less real because I don’t live with my husband?

I haven’t really been able to shake this comment all weekend.

So what does marriage mean? Further more, what does MY marriage mean?

And this was my conclusion. Marriage IS awesome.

Every marriage is going to be a little different. We all have our own circumstances. We all have to work at it a little differently. But I believe that the basis is an undying love.

No matter what people think, I believe I have a solid marriage with my husband. Have we spent a lot of time apart? Yes, but that doesn’t make my marriage a sham. I would argue that I know what marriage means more than most. And just because I don’t see him every day, doesn’t make it any less of a marriage. We have had challenges and had to make hard decisions as a couple. These decisions push us every day to be united.

Marriage is more than a wedding. It is more than coming home to someone every day. It is more than having date nights or having someone to share the chores with. It’s more than the physical. Tom is not just my roommate, he is my husband.

C. S. Lewis said, “Being in love is something you do.”

So it’s not just a title, it’s something you have to work at and pay attention to. Marriage is a partnership. It’s a bond between two people that goes beyond the rings that we wear. They are just a really pretty symbol! It’s having a love for someone that is so great you wouldn’t be the same person without it. The partnership makes you a better you. As I watched Noelle and Peter say their vows, I remembered saying them to Tom. A marriage is two people promising to be there for each other no matter what.

I read this quote in my devotional book, “Real love isn’t based on changeable feelings. Instead, it’s an act of the will, a choice to honor your commitment to another person.” Pretty big stuff, huh?

I would say that there are many marriages that can’t say they have that kind of love and commitment. I would call those marriages the shams. (Can anyone say a Kardashian marriage?)

I am fortunate to say I have a great marriage. Is it ideal that we are apart, eh not really. But this marriage is as real as the next. It is the real deal.

Tom is the person I lean on the most. He makes me feel better when no one else can. He cheers me on when I don’t think I am strong enough. He supported me going to places I never thought I could. He has been by my side, and I his. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes.

If anything, this time apart has solidified how strong our marriage is. Even though we may be separated by thousands of miles, Tom and I are connected. This love keeps both of us going. We manage to still be there for each other despite these obstacles.

Here is another song from Tyrone that I think explains it all. I have heard this song a million times, but it hit me differently this weekend as I was baking like crazy, and I started screaming and throwing flour all over my kitchen, “THIS IS IT!”

Through it all, somehow “You Still Love Me.”

(PS. Tyrone comes out with a new CD this week, and you all should get it. He’s voice is like a dream.)

Sometimes, in a marriage, things aren’t easy. Sometimes you have to be apart; sometimes you argue. But you always love that person. Always.

That’s why marriage is awesome. You always have someone.

Anyway, if marriage isn’t like this for others, I feel sorry for them. This is a pretty sweet deal in my opinion!

I still stand by my statement that marriage is awesome. Tom’s my person, even if he is in Afghanistan. No one can take the fact away that he is my person. That’s as real as it gets in my opinion. And if you don’t agree, well maybe you haven’t experienced this love yet to understand.

I also am pretty thankful that I live in a state that believes that everyone should be able to experience this partnership. Marriage with the right person is awesome, no matter if they are the same gender or not. Who cares? It’s their marriage and their love. We should be happy that people have found that big love that makes them better. If people are happy and better than the day before wouldn’t that make the world happier and better than the day before? And I believe that everyone should be able to make that formal commitment to “their someone.” Who am I to say their love isn’t good enough for marriage? Again, we let the Kardashians get married, and we wont let thousands of people who actually would take it seriously? That doesn’t make sense to me. So yay for Iowa supporting all marriages! We are all about the “marriage is awesome for everyone” campaign. Now if we can just get the federal government on our wagon…

And now that my “Marriage IS Awesome” speech is done, here is my craft for the night.

This is the blanket I had almost finished over Thanksgiving, and then finished the week I came back.

Two weeks might be a new record for me making a blanket!

I used yarn that I had left over from other projects that Hobby Lobby wouldn’t take back.

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I did a single stitch for the entire blanket, and then a crab stitch for just the edge.

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Hakuna Matata

This weekend, a couple friends of mine traveled with me to the closest military base. We went to explore the Post Exchange/commissary and see what we could find. In my head, I thought it was going to be this extravagant grocery store that I had seen at Ft. Campbell. And that turned out to be not so much the case. This base does not have quite the same amenities as bases I have been to before. The PX was basically a gas station convenience store. I got some good candy, and Linda and Melissa both got a Camelbak that says “hydrate or die.”  We also drove around the base for about 5 minutes seeing all the sites. It just boggles my mind to think how different this was from Ft. Campbell and Benning, which are both massive bases. But if you think about it, they each have different jobs and demands on their soldiers, so it makes sense. I am sad that I was not able to find my Odwalla juices for a dollar though.

Even though I was not able to do the shopping that I wanted, it was still nice to share the experience with friends. I was able to blend my two worlds for once.

I have been watching the series FRIENDS lately. It is absolutely hysterical. I highly recommend it. (I am also convinced that Tom and I are a real life version of Monica and Chandler.) This show is all about the bonds of friendship and how as a group they can get through anything together. The iconic theme song has a pretty awesome message too-“I’ll be there for you.”

My friends here in Ames are one big reason why I have not moved yet. Having this support system already in place is a Godsend. Whether they realize it or not, they give me a reason to get off the couch and out of my apartment. They help me relieve stress and keep my mind off the fact that I haven’t heard from Tom in 24 hours. Just being around them makes me not worry. It’s when I am alone that I freak out the most, like for example today on the drive to volleyball. I started realizing that I have not talked to Tom since Friday, so what does my brain do? It starts envisioning military personnel standing outside my door waiting to tell me the worst. Oh or every time someone has called in the last week for political garb, I panic when I see the unknown number calling me to tell me something has happened to my husband. So I apologize for anyone who has called me wanting me to vote for so and so. I have been pretty short to them because I get so worked up before I answer the phone. Whoops. I also have been having nightmares that they wont be able to find me since I live in a residence hall to tell me anything. See how easy the mind wonders? So having people to distract me is so helpful. They help keep my life normal.

I know that I would have people to reach out to in Ft. Campbell, but the decision to stay here was obviously the right one for now. My life kind of got turned upside down in some ways in September. If I would have moved, everything would have been unfamiliar, and I would have become a shut-in. It’s been comforting to be here in Ames where I have a place and people to lean on already. I didn’t have to work at establishing that once Tom left. Ames has been my constant. The friends that I have here are great, and I am not quite ready to start friend dating again. They don’t teach you how to do that in school.

I know that the move is coming someday soon, and I am sure I will forge on and make new life-long friends. But for now, Ames people are my security blanket.

What a great segue! My blanket project for this entry is something that has been a long time coming. I started this blanket a year ago. I got carried away with the size. Unfortunately, I still stink at judging the length/width with the first couple lines. But by the time I realize how big the silly thing will be, I have already invested too much time to dare pull it all out.

Anyway, my intention was for this blanket to be a gift for my previous graduate student, Tiffany. We had been together for two years and had begun our Ames journey together. She graduated last May, so you can see how I failed meeting my goal to have it done by the time she graduated. I will also defend myself that it took longer than I had planned because you have to change the yarn on every row, which takes more time. I also had to really pay attention to the pattern on this one, which again took more time.

I did a crochet boucan pattern. Here is the video I used as a guide.

This woman is awesome at teaching crochet stitches. I have watched several of her videos, and she breaks it down really well for you.

Even though it has been a rough time getting it done, I would say that this turned out to be one of my favorites. It looks pretty snazzy! Go Cyclones!

Grace doesn’t like it when I put the blankets on the ground to take photos. She has to inspect it. And see what I mean about it being massive?
Here is the pattern up close.

In parting, they say “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” I say that’s silly. Why would I want to hang out with people who make me miserable? Friends keep you going even when you are at your lowest low. They are there to remind you of “Hakuna matata.” No worries, we got you.

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Red Line Message

This is the subject line of an email that I received a few weeks ago. Red Lines are messages that are sent out to families to notify them that someone was killed where their soldier is located. In the message, it detailed that 3 soldiers attached to Tom’s unit were killed by a suicide bomber. (Now was this in the news? Not any that I saw. But that is a subject for another day.) In the letter, it does explain that it is not one of our 101st Airborne men, however this did not stop the panic attack that quickly ensued.

I know that the procedure is that I will be the first person to be notified if something were to happen. And I also know that it would be in person and not through an email. People in their right minds know these things. But I had just lost my grandparents, I hadn’t heard from Tom that day, and to top it off, I had just done a staff development activity on telling people around you that you appreciate them and not waiting until it’s too late, so my loopy mind kept going to the worst possible scenario. I was an absolute wreck that night. It was like that scene in “A League of their Own” when one of the players found out in the locker room her husband dies, and then Geena Davis lost it in a scene soon after because her husband was also in the military. I was Geena Davis, only my husband didn’t walk in to make it a magical moment. Bummer.

Tom was able to call me the next morning. He explained to me that he was no where near this incident, and the jobs were completely different than his. He also explained that when things like this happen they are under a “blackout” with communication which is why I hadn’t heard from him. This is so the families really are the first to know of the tragedy. Can you believe that people have found out from text messages from friends who heard before they did? So now they have very strict policies of how this information is disseminated.

Luckily, I do get to speak to Tom pretty much every day. They have phones and computers, and he does a good job trying to find time when I am awake to call. He is about 10ish hours ahead of us, so he is often calling in the middle of the night where he is just so he doesn’t disturb my slumber. Good man.

It still is difficult though. I never know when he is going to call. Each day his schedule and mine are different. I would be lying if I don’t look at my phone several times an hour hoping that it rings. I worry all the time about his safety. His calls are all I have to know that he made it through another day, well that and his updated Facebook statuses.

I try not to think about it too often to ward off anxiety attacks. I have a lot of personal pep talks in my head to try to stay positive and know that Tom is doing all that he can to come home safe with his unit. All those counseling classes from grad school are coming in handy for myself. Or I just keep myself too busy to really have time to think about it. But sometimes the waiting gets too rough, and I end up crying in the middle of a restaurant during the lunch rush. Yes this happened. And sometimes, I have to step out of a meeting because I haven’t heard from him in 24 hours and just need that peace of mind.

Today, we were able to Skype for the first time since he left. Even though it was for like 8 minutes, it was still awesome! I feel very fortunate that we get as much contact as we do.

For the most part, I do pretty ok with him being gone. I had gotten used to him not being here with basic last spring, so this wasn’t that hard of a transition since he left again so soon after. Grace and I had not really gotten used to him being home in the first place, as bad as that may sound. And unlike basic, we actually get to speak this time around! But there are a few moments every day where it hits me: Grace does something that is super awesome (which is pretty much her every waking moment) or I see “How I Met Your Mother” in our Netflix queue, or the dirty dishes are piling up in the kitchen…So I let myself wallow for a second, accept it and move on and clean those dang dishes.

That’s really all that I can do, otherwise I would be spending all my time in bed crying into a box of ice cream. You have to get up every day and live it, otherwise what are they fighting for? So I do and hope for the best. I mean 9 months goes by super fast right?

Ha, well speaking of 9 months going quickly, my latest project is for my very pregnant other half, Jeannette. She is actually due with little Herman tomorrow!

I crocheted Herman this wonderful little blanket and was able to hand deliver it to Jeannette while I was at home this past weekend. Maybe next time he will be ready to see me when I visit!

Grace tested it out for us. She approved.

To end, this verse really helps me to have faith and remember to not constantly worry.

“Can all of your worries add a single moment to your life?” Matthew 6:27.

Well, no they probably don’t. Aha moment of the day, done. (I have to have this aha moment set on repeat though…)

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Moving In

Today marks the first day that some students can start officially moving into my building. Goodbye quiet and hello lots of excitement! I love this time of year with the anticipation of all the newness. It’s kind of like New Year’s for academics. It is like a fresh pallet. (Like the craft reference?) Staff training starts soon too, which is always a week full of brainstorming and awesome energy. You always hope that each year is going to be bigger and better than the last. Anyway, so the last couple days have been a fury of keys and killing trees to prepare staff binders, and just trying to get everything ready to open our buildings.

And appropriately, it is also move in day for Tom. He got the keys to our new home today. Unfortunately, because of our long distance, I cannot be there for that awesome moment of getting the keys to your first home that you get together. (Yes we lived here in Iowa together, but I lived here a year before Tom moved in with me.) This home in KY is the first place that is both of ours from the get go. So I have been getting the play by play of what each room looks like until he can get pictures. It kind of stinks to have your first impression over the phone, instead of in person. But we knew going into this, that we would both miss big moments in each other’s lives. Every day, we both make comments about wishing we could see what the other is talking about. Although, I believe I have the better deal because I get to be with our sweet dog Grace all the time! It is one of the sacrifices that the military forces us to make. So it really teaches us to make every moment count when we are together. Life is more than just the big stuff, but it still doesn’t make missing those things easy. We have a lot to be thankful for, so we just try to focus on that instead of all the stuff that we are missing. So all you couples and families together all the time, that comment that annoyed you or that chore you asked them to do that inevitably, is it really that big of a deal?  I say this to myself too, because don’t get me wrong I still complain. We still piss each other off at times, but as I reflect, there is no reason to harbor the feelings. Move past it and start enjoying each other again.

PS. I did tell Tom that he isn’t allowed to buy furniture without me. I have been dreaming about that probably as long as I did for my wedding! Fortunately, I have a husband who loves camping, and he is turning the next month into a big camping trip and living simple.  And luckily, he wont have to live in the empty home for long with his upcoming “work trip.” I am sure he is also using this as an excuse to be show himself how manly he can be. Just ask him about how he cut his watermelon last week.

So on to the crafts! For today’s post, I will include pictures of things that I finished up last week.

The first is a blanket that I made for a few friends of ours that recently moved into a new home. It was a “housewarming-thanks for being awesome couple friends” gift. And it was a nice excuse to try a new crochet stitch. I have never made bubbles before, so that was fun teaching myself. You can’t see them in the picture, but in person they add a really cool affect to it. It took me about a month to complete. (I will also say that I was working on two other blankets at the time as well that I haven’t finished yet.) I am pretty pleased with how this one turned out! And I am glad to hear the Garretts like it too.

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The next is my new bathroom art. I was originally going to use sticker letters and just peel them off after the paint dried, but I could not find any that were big enough that I liked. So I stenciled all the letters after the base coat dried. So it took me a little longer than I had planned. I then used an old toliet paper roll to make the bubbles. Great circles, just dip the ends in paint, and viola! It was a fun afternoon while I watched the Olympics. And I have to say, it makes me smile every time I’m using the potty.

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So since I started this canvas before I had decided to blog, it had not donned on me to do a prep picture. In the future I will try to do the progress pictures from start to finish.

Well that is it for today. I am hooked on the Olympics right now! Go USA!