Author: Stephanie

A Career Pivot
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A Career Pivot

After much reflection, some deep breaths, and so much prayer, I’ve made the decision to leave my job.

I have been working at Columbia College for almost 11 years, and in higher education roles for just over 20 years.

This wasn’t an easy decision. I’ve grown here—professionally and personally. I’ve built strong relationships, worked on projects that challenged me, and felt incredibly proud of what my team and I accomplished together. In many ways, this place has become a second home. My kids have only known me in this job, and have grown up coming to campus events. But sometimes, even when you were really good at something and there is comfort there, you realize it’s time to grow in a different direction.

This is bittersweet, but it has been a very intentional and drawn out decision for me. I don’t think we talk about these things enough, so here I am sharing some of my decision making moments. Some of it is selfish for me to process what led to now, but I also hope that it resonates with others who are contemplating their next step.

So let’s go back a little bit.

I have been able to build my career based around student success. I started my higher ed experience working in Residence Life, then moved to Accessibility Services, and then landed a role at my current institution in a Student Affairs adjacent role in Student Success and retention efforts. I started here as a Student Success Advisor, and then continued working my way up in leadership positions. I am really proud of being able to say that I am the Senior Director of Advising, Retention, and Student Success, and the fact that I have Registrar on my list of career accomplishments is cool too. If I would have told my younger self where I ended up, I would not have believed it. I never imagined this path, but it has been a blessing to be able to grow into. However, the last few years have been challenging to say the least with the opportunities that were in front of me. I was part of leading two different office merges, took supervision of a team where my knowledge was limited, navigated institutional layoffs, persisted through college leadership changes, and just generally existed in the craziness that is the higher ed landscape right now. I felt good about my place here and felt like each change was an opportunity to influence the student experience in new ways. I felt like climbing the “ladder” in my positions would equip me to affect change at new heights and at a greater scale.

After Tom’s health declined last summer, it really made me stop in my tracks to think about what I was really after with my career. Where was I dedicating my time? I saw life differently then, and I started to feel a quiet nudge. At first it was just a whisper: a sense that maybe there was something more I needed to explore, something different I needed to learn, or a new challenge I needed to face. As time went on, that whisper grew louder. And eventually, I knew I had to listen.

I realized I was chasing a career ladder, and I wasn’t getting it.

I started asking myself what would the next leadership ACTUALLY mean for me and did it really align with my values and passions. And why was I actually feeling so compelled to have that recognition when that has never been important to me? I was extremely conflicted on why that next promotion meant so much. I started looking around me and the spaces I was in questioning the work I was doing. To be clear, the work I was doing was valuable and important, I just didn’t feel clear on where I stood in the mix of it. It was a rollercoaster of emotions of being grateful for my job and the doors that were opened for me, but also feeling like I wasn’t in the right place anymore.

As I was teaching my first year seminar this fall, I realized I was really missing the mark on why I joined higher education. I have always taught one class to keep me in touch with the student voice. Staying connected to students was important to me as I moved up in roles that took me away from the front lines. I had accepted each leadership position ultimately because I felt that each new step offered new opportunities to help the student experience through my expertise and leadership, and I truly felt called to collaborate at a higher level on student focused initiatives. However, I was really losing why I got into it in the first place. It wasn’t about titles or being in leadership.

I wanted to be in front of students.

I remember when I was a kid, I made my brother play school all the time. I had a dream of being a teacher for as long as I can remember. I ended up getting my degree in Social Studies Education. However, as I was doing my observations in college, I knew I wasn’t ready at that point to be in a classroom. The reasons are complicated and a story for another day, but honestly part of me was scared to take that step. I was really thriving in my own college experience, and so I never left that comfort and have been working on a college campus for the last 20 years focusing on student learning in a different way.

I will never regret the steps that I took along the way. I have loved the roles I have had at several institutions. I have met some amazing individuals (students and colleagues, and sometimes students turned colleagues). I have been able to travel across the country to live and visit. It gave me my degrees debt free. I was able to learn the art of ordering pizzas and how to analyze data for student success. I learned how to strategize initiatives, how to stand-up different technology platforms, about leadership development, and ultimately a lot about showing up as a human being in different spaces and how to advocate for students.

This decision was complex because I have been here a long time, and higher education is the only professional job I have known. Leaving a job isn’t just about leaving tasks or titles, while there are some projects I wish I could see play out. It’s about leaving people—coworkers who’ve become collaborators, mentors who’ve become friends, and a rhythm that’s become familiar.

But when I stripped it down, this job was no longer serving me how I needed. It is not that I didn’t like my job or that I didn’t agree with the vision of where the college was going. That was why it was so hard to make this decision because I am really excited where CC is headed and there are some really amazing people working really hard to make higher ed accessible and successful for students. I just came to grips with the fact that it wasn’t for ME anymore. I wasn’t connecting to myself, and the leadership wasn’t fulfilling me in the way I had hoped, and I was just feeling bogged down by the weight of it all. Change management and leadership is really hard, and I just wasn’t confident that I had it in me to keep driving that bus. It is hard to keep going when your heart is telling you to go in a different direction. And if your heart isn’t into it, even if you do believe in the work, the decision to stay is complicated. So I leaned into that whisper that it was time to circle back to the classroom. I didn’t want to run from the dream I had as a kid anymore.

Next fall I am going to be teaching 8th grade Social Studies, and I get giddy every time I think about this next experience. I’m stepping into the unknown, and while that’s scary, it’s also full of possibility. What I do have is a deep sense of gratitude and a willingness to keep learning, keep growing, and keep building something meaningful—wherever that may be. I also know there is a different confidence in me that was not there when I was 22 graduating with my education degree. While I am realizing teaching was the plan the whole time, so was my higher ed path. This “detour” in higher ed was an important step to becoming the teacher I always wanted to be. The last two decades have shown me so much that I can infuse into my curriculum in the middle school level. I cannot be more excited to create magic in middle school.

As Tom’s situation last year highlighted for me, I only get to do this life once. And I am feeling called to impact education differently. I am sad to leave people and projects I have been working so closely on. So while I do have moments of immense guilt, I know this is were God is calling me to be. And at the end of the day, I had to make the decision for myself.

I would also be remiss to not acknowledge what this change means for my family balance and how that played into the decision. Switching to the K-12 system is giving me a new ability to be on my kid’s schedule. To be on the same breaks without worrying that I am missing important meetings or having to take PTO is really a gift. To be able to get time back with them is invaluable. I had been giving so much of myself away to my job over the last few years; it has been really hard to also be a mom and wife. I am not naive to think that being a teacher is not going to take a lot of mental energy, but this is allowing me to have a break and put in new boundaries that focus on mine and my family’s needs. There is something to be said about letting go of my current job so I can shed some of the expectations I had for myself to do all the things. I have the ability to start over fresh with a new lens.

To everyone I’ve worked with: thank you. Thank you for the trust, the partnership, the patience, and the joy. I am so proud of the big and little moments over the years. Thank you for being a part of this chapter in my story. It has been a good one.

And to those who are reading this and maybe feeling their own nudge to make a change—listen to it. It’s okay to outgrow something, even something you love. Growth isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s just a quiet, persistent whisper that says, you’re ready.

Here’s to new beginnings and remembering your why.

Dear Husband
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Dear Husband

Fourteen years.

It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed since we said “I do,” and yet, when I look at you, I still see the same man who made me laugh, made me feel safe, and made me believe in forever. What I didn’t know then was just how much that “forever” would teach us.

Fourteen years of marriage of growing up together, of figuring life out hand in hand. We’ve built a life full of ordinary moments that mean everything—shared glances across a crowded room, caffeine-fueled mornings, chaotic dinners with the kids, quiet nights when nothing really needed to be said and there are Office episodes to watch. And through all of it, one thing has stayed constant: us.

Staying connected hasn’t always been easy—especially in the seasons when life pulled us in a hundred directions. Work, kids, responsibilities… the noise of life can be loud. With the complexities we have experienced, especially over the past couple years, it would be easy to just fall apart. But somehow, we always found our way back to each other. In the small things. In the effort. In the choice to show up for each other, again and again.

You still make me feel chosen. You still make me feel wanted. And loved. And seen.

You always know how to lighten the mood with a perfectly-timed joke or sarcastic comment, and even when I try not to laugh—you get me every time. You have a way of talking all of us off our proverbial ledge and help us focus on reality. Your mind is sharp, your hands are capable, and I swear, you can fix anything. Whether it’s a broken toy, a car, or a rough day—you’ve got a way of putting things back together.

You’re the kind of dad I always hoped my kids would have—playful, patient, endlessly loving. You have made their childhood magical. They look at you like you hung the moon. And honestly, so do I. This life we have built together is nothing short of a miracle, and it is more than I ever dreamed of.

What I admire most, though, is who you are when no one is watching. Loyal. Ethical. Steadfast. Honest. People underestimate you all the time—and you just keep showing up, proving them wrong. There are so many little things that you do to improve the world around you that no one even knows you are doing. But I see you.

Thank you for being my steady when life gets messy. For showing up, not just as my husband, but as my teammate, and my safe place.

There’s a quiet kind of magic in a love that grows deeper over time. It doesn’t need grand gestures or perfect moments. It just needs care, commitment, and a whole lot of grace. And somehow, we’ve found all of that—together.

Fourteen years in, and I still choose you. I choose this life. I choose us.

Happy anniversary, my love. Here’s to every year that brought us closer—and to every year still to come.

Love always,

Steph

Daphne Year Eight
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Daphne Year Eight

This year Daphne has been insistent that she is going to space one day, and that she will be one of the first people to Mars. She is inquisitive about what it will take to get there, and from those details, she has created a plan. And if space doesn’t work she wants to be a Air Force pilot; and if that doesn’t work she will be an actress. It is precise and big, and entirely her.

Today is Daphne’s birthday. She is eight, and thinking about all the things. Another year older, a little taller, and somehow even more full of wonder than the year before.

She’s always been a big dreamer — the kind who sees possibilities in places most of us overlook. But here’s something else I deeply admire about her: she gets scared. She worries about trying new things. Whether it’s speaking up in class, learning to climb a rope, or joining a new activity like trying out for a musical— the fear is real. I see it in her eyes.

But then… she tries anyway.

And that’s what makes her brave. Not the absence of fear, but her choice to move forward in spite of it. Her dreams aren’t just floating ideas — they’re fuel. They carry her over the bumps, push her past the nerves, and inspire her to step into the unknown with wide eyes and a steady heart. Watching her dream and be determined to chase them is one of my favorite things.

As adults, we often fall into the trap of practicality. We trade wonder for what’s “realistic,” and over time, the dreams we once had quietly shrink. We have been talking a lot about dreams in our house, and I have to thank Daph for some of the reflection I have been doing lately. Watching her, especially today, reminds me how vital dreaming is — not just for children, but for all of us.

Dreaming gives us vision. It gives us hope. It sparks creativity, innovation, and joy. Daphne doesn’t yet know what’s impossible — and honestly, I hope she never fully believes anything is. Even when she is scared or doubts her ability, she still goes out on a limb and tries. She is shooting for the stars in so much of what she does. While her astronaut dreams may be cute memory in a decade, I hope she never loses this sense of dreaming and trying.

So this is a little birthday love letter to her — and to every child (and adult) who still dares to dream big. Let’s not quiet that voice. Let’s fan the flame. Let’s encourage curiosity, imagination, and the wild kind of belief that makes going to Mars feel absolutely possible.

Here’s to the dreamers — may we raise them, may we nurture them, and may we remember that we are them too.

Happy birthday to my BIG dreamer! Daphne, you are a wonder.

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Is Time Different at 40?

Today I turn the big 4-0.

I have never been weird about birthdays. Generally, I have embraced them and been excited about this journey of life and moving to the next year.

But I have to admit, this one hits different.

FORTY.

It is not a sad thing about aging or that I am having a mid-life crisis, but it is making me pause in a way that I don’t normally do for birthdays.

Age is very relative, and I know at some point I thought 40 seemed so far away. You wonder what milestones you will have reached and whether there is this sudden urgency to “live life to the fullest” because it all seems downhill from here. There are a lot of societal expectations by this time of your life to have things figured out.

But honestly, I am really seeing it as a reset button. If this last year has taught me anything, is that no day is guaranteed, so maybe it is that I need to “live life to the fullest” but I am seeing it more as being bold in my priorities.

My thirties brought me so much, and I have learned a lot about what is important and how awesome my life has become. I am realizing that now is the time to fill my cup differently and prioritize my focus on certain things.

By the grace of God, Tom and I are stepping into our 40s together this year. I am forever thankful for our relationship and what being married to Tom has taught me. This time last year there were moments that we did not think 40 was possible. It is a true gift to continue growing in our partnership and move through life together. There is beauty in realizing all the different versions we have seen of each other. We met in our early twenties, and here we are stepping into another decade with our love story. We have shared and survived so much as a couple. We are comfortable with each other for sure, but within that is a deep connection that has allowed us to navigate life together with intense purpose. I do believe that we make each other better, and growing “old” together is a blessing every day.

While I had George when I was 29, my thirties is where I really came into motherhood. We have created a beautiful family, and through this time I have become more sure of the childhood we want them to have. It is an interesting balance to strike with encouraging them to try new things and put them in activities that interest them, and then still finding time to just simply exist in our own space as a family. I want them to stay little and innocent as long as possible as to not age them too fast. This next decade will bring new things in motherhood as we start to navigate them becoming young adults and eventually start moving into the world on their own. I hope due to the complexities of becoming confident in my own life and the lessons I have learned thus far will make it easier to guide them in theirs. Ultimately, I know that I want my focus to be on their lives, development, and being present in all that I can with them.

Looking at where I am right now with my career, I could not be more grateful for all the twists and turns that got me to where I am right now. I have always dreamed of being part of educational moments and being able to create experiences where others can grow and learn. Looking back at every decision that seemed hard and unknown, they all have led me to right here. I am feeling more self-assured about where my passions are and how to advocate for where I can be best utilized. It is through my career experiences that I have learned more about my own voice and how to lean into my strengths and desires in order to impact the communities I am in. I have been so fortunate for the opportunities I have had career wise, and I am excited to see what is on the horizon. Our lives are never linear as our age presumes, and I have found making “five year plans” is never a permanent decision for my future. There is strength and comfort in knowing that I am moving myself to really look at my impact and what brings joy instead of climbing a business ladder because it seemed to increase my ability to affect change. As I am turning into this decade, I am really happy for each time I bet on myself in my career and defined my own success.

Looking over my life, building community is not something that has come easily to me. I do enjoy relationship and connections, however, due to my propensity to keep my circle small it can be challenging to create those deep relationships as lives shift. And making friends as an adult is HARD. It has been one of those pieces I have had to learn to take chances and be vulnerable. But I also have had to let go and realize that not every relationship will serve you forever. This has been a very hard lesson for me, and I have had to learn to be intentional about how I am showing up to spaces to build community. However, community is so important. We are supposed to live in connection. Finding your circle can be hard, but it is worthwhile to find people you can navigate life with. I am hoping that as I move into this next phase, community building is at the forefront of my priorities. Finding space for connection can take a lot of my energy, but I find that after these intentional interactions I feel full and blessed.

I would be lying to say that 40 doesn’t make you think about the longevity of life and enhances a deeper hunger for meaning. I have been thinking a lot over the last couple years what it could look like to walk with God differently in this season. I have been pushed and pulled on my faith as I have grown. It has evolved from striving to do faith “right” to leaning into grace and being in relationship with God. I am discovering that spiritual maturity often looks like surrender, not certainty. I am coming to terms with the mysteries of life and that faith doesn’t need to demand all the answers. I am learning the true art of letting go with my faith. I am listening more, asking better questions, noticing God in everyday moments. I have started seeing my faith not just as belief and a focus on self, but how I show up in the world with my faith. As a perfectionist, my faith journey recently has been allowing myself to strip down the expectations and high achievement to have a more honest, less polished faith. My intention as I move forward is to seek continued growth and closeness with God.

I feel that I am the most confident I have ever been in my life. I am discovering that not all important things are measurable. I have started letting go of the fact of any pressure to arrive at a certain point and a certain time. I am embracing how weird and awkward life can be, and instead of trying to maneuver into a perfect picture, to really sink in and enjoy the simplicity of the day to day. I have realized everything doesn’t have to be so serious, and there is importance in finding magical moments in this amazingly precious life. I think that is the beauty of resetting myself as I turn forty today. This last year showed me how fast life is moving, and I have an opportunity to slow myself down to enjoy it. Aging is really an expansion of life, not a decline. And I hope that I can continue to choose intentionally how to walk through this life while focusing on fun, fulfillment, and connection.

So here is to 40!

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Countdown to Christmas

Our life is full of chaos. I wanted to be “where my feet are” and be more present as the world flew around us. So I picked out a devotional to be grounded during this advent season. I am trying to take a cue from Mary, who was a young mother, who humbled herself within the craziest of circumstances.

As we have gone through the season of Advent, we are invited into a sacred time of waiting, preparing, and reflecting. Advent marks the four weeks leading up to Christmas, a time that allows us to pause and meditate on the deeper significance of Jesus’s coming. It’s a time that calls us to reflect on hope, peace, joy, and love—each of which has its own meaning and relevance in our lives today. My devotional took a few days to reflect on each over these last few weeks. While the story that led us to the holiday is not new to me, making the space to reflect on each piece (especially in a year like ours) was extremely beneficial. Here are a few nuggets that I took away.

Hope: A Light in the Darkness

Advent begins with the theme of hope. This year seemed to be filled with challenges, uncertainties, and darkness. Advent was a reminder that Christ is the Light of the World, a beacon of hope for all. The Advent season is a powerful reminder that no matter how difficult life may get, we can always look forward to the coming of Christ. It is a hope that transcends circumstances and draws us into the belief that God is present with us, guiding us through even the darkest times. I have felt that so deeply this year.

I recognized where hope pulled us through in the most unbelievable places this year. But I also was able to identify some areas where I still feel helpless. I spent quite a bit of time recognizing those areas and some small steps I can take to work through that feeling. Identifying those dark areas honestly takes some of the darkness away. It brought it to the surface so I can more plainly give it to God. And honestly that is what God and hope is about for me: bringing light into the darkest of places.

Peace: Christ’s Peace Within Us

The second week of Advent brings us the theme of peace. This concept seems so foreign to me as someone who suffers from anxiety. I find it hard to be at peace or wholeness through being calm. Yet, Advent reminds us that peace is not merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of God’s love and reconciliation in our lives.

These few days were hard for me to really nail down. I think we can talk a good game when it comes to peace, but it can be really hard to be vulnerable to really allow this to seep into us. But I think it really comes down to trusting and giving it all up to God’s grace. Then that is where peace can settle our hearts, calm our fears, and remind us that God is with us. Peace is not about me understanding everything; it is the comfort that I have a God that does.

Joy: Celebrating the Gift of Life

Advent is also a time to reflect on joy—the joy of anticipating the birth of Jesus the joy of the incarnation, and the joy of the new life we find in Him. Joy is not simply happiness based on circumstances, but a deep-rooted joy that comes from knowing that God loves us and is with us in every moment. The joy of Advent calls us to celebrate the coming of Jesus, a gift to the world, and to celebrate the gift of life itself.

This year has been a deep valley for us, but it has also been a great lesson in finding reasons to be happy despite the pitfalls. This is one area that I am always so amazed about reading and studying the Christmas story. Everything about the story is messy and not picture perfect. There is murder, extreme laws, travel hardships, jealousy, and teen pregnancy. But amongst all of this, we can find joy in the story. I think about the shepherds and how they came to encounter Jesus. They weren’t supposed to be main characters in a story, but they got to share in the amazingness. They saw joy in that night, and then were able to spread it all about. If anything this year has taught me that exuding joy is a way to keep my eye on God and have faith in the story he has for me.

Love: The Greatest Gift

Finally, Advent calls us to reflect on love—the greatest gift we can give and receive. The love of God, revealed in the birth of Jesus, is the foundation of our faith and the model for our own relationships. The story of Christmas is a story of love, a love that is unconditional, sacrificial, and eternal.

Advent challenges us to embody this love in our daily lives, loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. This element of advent keeps me in awe. The magnitude of God giving His Son, so that we may have eternal life…It gives me goosebumps. This is the characteristic that we are called to share in our lives. And for me then it circles back to hope. If we are able to show love because God loved us, we can help shine light into the dark places on this earth.

So while I haven’t made all the holiday magic this year, I am glad that I made space for these reflections. It kept me centered on the story of Christmas. How can we become people of hope, peace, joy, and love? As we anticipate the birth of Christ, may our hearts be ready to receive the greatest gift of all—the love of God made manifest in Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas to all!