Author: Stephanie

Dear Husband
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Dear Husband

Fourteen years.

It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed since we said “I do,” and yet, when I look at you, I still see the same man who made me laugh, made me feel safe, and made me believe in forever. What I didn’t know then was just how much that “forever” would teach us.

Fourteen years of marriage of growing up together, of figuring life out hand in hand. We’ve built a life full of ordinary moments that mean everything—shared glances across a crowded room, caffeine-fueled mornings, chaotic dinners with the kids, quiet nights when nothing really needed to be said and there are Office episodes to watch. And through all of it, one thing has stayed constant: us.

Staying connected hasn’t always been easy—especially in the seasons when life pulled us in a hundred directions. Work, kids, responsibilities… the noise of life can be loud. With the complexities we have experienced, especially over the past couple years, it would be easy to just fall apart. But somehow, we always found our way back to each other. In the small things. In the effort. In the choice to show up for each other, again and again.

You still make me feel chosen. You still make me feel wanted. And loved. And seen.

You always know how to lighten the mood with a perfectly-timed joke or sarcastic comment, and even when I try not to laugh—you get me every time. You have a way of talking all of us off our proverbial ledge and help us focus on reality. Your mind is sharp, your hands are capable, and I swear, you can fix anything. Whether it’s a broken toy, a car, or a rough day—you’ve got a way of putting things back together.

You’re the kind of dad I always hoped my kids would have—playful, patient, endlessly loving. You have made their childhood magical. They look at you like you hung the moon. And honestly, so do I. This life we have built together is nothing short of a miracle, and it is more than I ever dreamed of.

What I admire most, though, is who you are when no one is watching. Loyal. Ethical. Steadfast. Honest. People underestimate you all the time—and you just keep showing up, proving them wrong. There are so many little things that you do to improve the world around you that no one even knows you are doing. But I see you.

Thank you for being my steady when life gets messy. For showing up, not just as my husband, but as my teammate, and my safe place.

There’s a quiet kind of magic in a love that grows deeper over time. It doesn’t need grand gestures or perfect moments. It just needs care, commitment, and a whole lot of grace. And somehow, we’ve found all of that—together.

Fourteen years in, and I still choose you. I choose this life. I choose us.

Happy anniversary, my love. Here’s to every year that brought us closer—and to every year still to come.

Love always,

Steph

Daphne Year Eight
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Daphne Year Eight

This year Daphne has been insistent that she is going to space one day, and that she will be one of the first people to Mars. She is inquisitive about what it will take to get there, and from those details, she has created a plan. And if space doesn’t work she wants to be a Air Force pilot; and if that doesn’t work she will be an actress. It is precise and big, and entirely her.

Today is Daphne’s birthday. She is eight, and thinking about all the things. Another year older, a little taller, and somehow even more full of wonder than the year before.

She’s always been a big dreamer — the kind who sees possibilities in places most of us overlook. But here’s something else I deeply admire about her: she gets scared. She worries about trying new things. Whether it’s speaking up in class, learning to climb a rope, or joining a new activity like trying out for a musical— the fear is real. I see it in her eyes.

But then… she tries anyway.

And that’s what makes her brave. Not the absence of fear, but her choice to move forward in spite of it. Her dreams aren’t just floating ideas — they’re fuel. They carry her over the bumps, push her past the nerves, and inspire her to step into the unknown with wide eyes and a steady heart. Watching her dream and be determined to chase them is one of my favorite things.

As adults, we often fall into the trap of practicality. We trade wonder for what’s “realistic,” and over time, the dreams we once had quietly shrink. We have been talking a lot about dreams in our house, and I have to thank Daph for some of the reflection I have been doing lately. Watching her, especially today, reminds me how vital dreaming is — not just for children, but for all of us.

Dreaming gives us vision. It gives us hope. It sparks creativity, innovation, and joy. Daphne doesn’t yet know what’s impossible — and honestly, I hope she never fully believes anything is. Even when she is scared or doubts her ability, she still goes out on a limb and tries. She is shooting for the stars in so much of what she does. While her astronaut dreams may be cute memory in a decade, I hope she never loses this sense of dreaming and trying.

So this is a little birthday love letter to her — and to every child (and adult) who still dares to dream big. Let’s not quiet that voice. Let’s fan the flame. Let’s encourage curiosity, imagination, and the wild kind of belief that makes going to Mars feel absolutely possible.

Here’s to the dreamers — may we raise them, may we nurture them, and may we remember that we are them too.

Happy birthday to my BIG dreamer! Daphne, you are a wonder.

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Is Time Different at 40?

Today I turn the big 4-0.

I have never been weird about birthdays. Generally, I have embraced them and been excited about this journey of life and moving to the next year.

But I have to admit, this one hits different.

FORTY.

It is not a sad thing about aging or that I am having a mid-life crisis, but it is making me pause in a way that I don’t normally do for birthdays.

Age is very relative, and I know at some point I thought 40 seemed so far away. You wonder what milestones you will have reached and whether there is this sudden urgency to “live life to the fullest” because it all seems downhill from here. There are a lot of societal expectations by this time of your life to have things figured out.

But honestly, I am really seeing it as a reset button. If this last year has taught me anything, is that no day is guaranteed, so maybe it is that I need to “live life to the fullest” but I am seeing it more as being bold in my priorities.

My thirties brought me so much, and I have learned a lot about what is important and how awesome my life has become. I am realizing that now is the time to fill my cup differently and prioritize my focus on certain things.

By the grace of God, Tom and I are stepping into our 40s together this year. I am forever thankful for our relationship and what being married to Tom has taught me. This time last year there were moments that we did not think 40 was possible. It is a true gift to continue growing in our partnership and move through life together. There is beauty in realizing all the different versions we have seen of each other. We met in our early twenties, and here we are stepping into another decade with our love story. We have shared and survived so much as a couple. We are comfortable with each other for sure, but within that is a deep connection that has allowed us to navigate life together with intense purpose. I do believe that we make each other better, and growing “old” together is a blessing every day.

While I had George when I was 29, my thirties is where I really came into motherhood. We have created a beautiful family, and through this time I have become more sure of the childhood we want them to have. It is an interesting balance to strike with encouraging them to try new things and put them in activities that interest them, and then still finding time to just simply exist in our own space as a family. I want them to stay little and innocent as long as possible as to not age them too fast. This next decade will bring new things in motherhood as we start to navigate them becoming young adults and eventually start moving into the world on their own. I hope due to the complexities of becoming confident in my own life and the lessons I have learned thus far will make it easier to guide them in theirs. Ultimately, I know that I want my focus to be on their lives, development, and being present in all that I can with them.

Looking at where I am right now with my career, I could not be more grateful for all the twists and turns that got me to where I am right now. I have always dreamed of being part of educational moments and being able to create experiences where others can grow and learn. Looking back at every decision that seemed hard and unknown, they all have led me to right here. I am feeling more self-assured about where my passions are and how to advocate for where I can be best utilized. It is through my career experiences that I have learned more about my own voice and how to lean into my strengths and desires in order to impact the communities I am in. I have been so fortunate for the opportunities I have had career wise, and I am excited to see what is on the horizon. Our lives are never linear as our age presumes, and I have found making “five year plans” is never a permanent decision for my future. There is strength and comfort in knowing that I am moving myself to really look at my impact and what brings joy instead of climbing a business ladder because it seemed to increase my ability to affect change. As I am turning into this decade, I am really happy for each time I bet on myself in my career and defined my own success.

Looking over my life, building community is not something that has come easily to me. I do enjoy relationship and connections, however, due to my propensity to keep my circle small it can be challenging to create those deep relationships as lives shift. And making friends as an adult is HARD. It has been one of those pieces I have had to learn to take chances and be vulnerable. But I also have had to let go and realize that not every relationship will serve you forever. This has been a very hard lesson for me, and I have had to learn to be intentional about how I am showing up to spaces to build community. However, community is so important. We are supposed to live in connection. Finding your circle can be hard, but it is worthwhile to find people you can navigate life with. I am hoping that as I move into this next phase, community building is at the forefront of my priorities. Finding space for connection can take a lot of my energy, but I find that after these intentional interactions I feel full and blessed.

I would be lying to say that 40 doesn’t make you think about the longevity of life and enhances a deeper hunger for meaning. I have been thinking a lot over the last couple years what it could look like to walk with God differently in this season. I have been pushed and pulled on my faith as I have grown. It has evolved from striving to do faith “right” to leaning into grace and being in relationship with God. I am discovering that spiritual maturity often looks like surrender, not certainty. I am coming to terms with the mysteries of life and that faith doesn’t need to demand all the answers. I am learning the true art of letting go with my faith. I am listening more, asking better questions, noticing God in everyday moments. I have started seeing my faith not just as belief and a focus on self, but how I show up in the world with my faith. As a perfectionist, my faith journey recently has been allowing myself to strip down the expectations and high achievement to have a more honest, less polished faith. My intention as I move forward is to seek continued growth and closeness with God.

I feel that I am the most confident I have ever been in my life. I am discovering that not all important things are measurable. I have started letting go of the fact of any pressure to arrive at a certain point and a certain time. I am embracing how weird and awkward life can be, and instead of trying to maneuver into a perfect picture, to really sink in and enjoy the simplicity of the day to day. I have realized everything doesn’t have to be so serious, and there is importance in finding magical moments in this amazingly precious life. I think that is the beauty of resetting myself as I turn forty today. This last year showed me how fast life is moving, and I have an opportunity to slow myself down to enjoy it. Aging is really an expansion of life, not a decline. And I hope that I can continue to choose intentionally how to walk through this life while focusing on fun, fulfillment, and connection.

So here is to 40!

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Countdown to Christmas

Our life is full of chaos. I wanted to be “where my feet are” and be more present as the world flew around us. So I picked out a devotional to be grounded during this advent season. I am trying to take a cue from Mary, who was a young mother, who humbled herself within the craziest of circumstances.

As we have gone through the season of Advent, we are invited into a sacred time of waiting, preparing, and reflecting. Advent marks the four weeks leading up to Christmas, a time that allows us to pause and meditate on the deeper significance of Jesus’s coming. It’s a time that calls us to reflect on hope, peace, joy, and love—each of which has its own meaning and relevance in our lives today. My devotional took a few days to reflect on each over these last few weeks. While the story that led us to the holiday is not new to me, making the space to reflect on each piece (especially in a year like ours) was extremely beneficial. Here are a few nuggets that I took away.

Hope: A Light in the Darkness

Advent begins with the theme of hope. This year seemed to be filled with challenges, uncertainties, and darkness. Advent was a reminder that Christ is the Light of the World, a beacon of hope for all. The Advent season is a powerful reminder that no matter how difficult life may get, we can always look forward to the coming of Christ. It is a hope that transcends circumstances and draws us into the belief that God is present with us, guiding us through even the darkest times. I have felt that so deeply this year.

I recognized where hope pulled us through in the most unbelievable places this year. But I also was able to identify some areas where I still feel helpless. I spent quite a bit of time recognizing those areas and some small steps I can take to work through that feeling. Identifying those dark areas honestly takes some of the darkness away. It brought it to the surface so I can more plainly give it to God. And honestly that is what God and hope is about for me: bringing light into the darkest of places.

Peace: Christ’s Peace Within Us

The second week of Advent brings us the theme of peace. This concept seems so foreign to me as someone who suffers from anxiety. I find it hard to be at peace or wholeness through being calm. Yet, Advent reminds us that peace is not merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of God’s love and reconciliation in our lives.

These few days were hard for me to really nail down. I think we can talk a good game when it comes to peace, but it can be really hard to be vulnerable to really allow this to seep into us. But I think it really comes down to trusting and giving it all up to God’s grace. Then that is where peace can settle our hearts, calm our fears, and remind us that God is with us. Peace is not about me understanding everything; it is the comfort that I have a God that does.

Joy: Celebrating the Gift of Life

Advent is also a time to reflect on joy—the joy of anticipating the birth of Jesus the joy of the incarnation, and the joy of the new life we find in Him. Joy is not simply happiness based on circumstances, but a deep-rooted joy that comes from knowing that God loves us and is with us in every moment. The joy of Advent calls us to celebrate the coming of Jesus, a gift to the world, and to celebrate the gift of life itself.

This year has been a deep valley for us, but it has also been a great lesson in finding reasons to be happy despite the pitfalls. This is one area that I am always so amazed about reading and studying the Christmas story. Everything about the story is messy and not picture perfect. There is murder, extreme laws, travel hardships, jealousy, and teen pregnancy. But amongst all of this, we can find joy in the story. I think about the shepherds and how they came to encounter Jesus. They weren’t supposed to be main characters in a story, but they got to share in the amazingness. They saw joy in that night, and then were able to spread it all about. If anything this year has taught me that exuding joy is a way to keep my eye on God and have faith in the story he has for me.

Love: The Greatest Gift

Finally, Advent calls us to reflect on love—the greatest gift we can give and receive. The love of God, revealed in the birth of Jesus, is the foundation of our faith and the model for our own relationships. The story of Christmas is a story of love, a love that is unconditional, sacrificial, and eternal.

Advent challenges us to embody this love in our daily lives, loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and loving our neighbors as ourselves. This element of advent keeps me in awe. The magnitude of God giving His Son, so that we may have eternal life…It gives me goosebumps. This is the characteristic that we are called to share in our lives. And for me then it circles back to hope. If we are able to show love because God loved us, we can help shine light into the dark places on this earth.

So while I haven’t made all the holiday magic this year, I am glad that I made space for these reflections. It kept me centered on the story of Christmas. How can we become people of hope, peace, joy, and love? As we anticipate the birth of Christ, may our hearts be ready to receive the greatest gift of all—the love of God made manifest in Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas to all!

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Walter Turns Four

How is this dude four?!?!

In honor of his birthday, we did a kid interview to document his personality during this sweet time.

What makes you happy? That Sister plays with me.

What makes you laugh? Tickles.

What makes you mad? Georgie’s hurts. (These two are always fighting…)

What is your favorite toy? Scooter, but my favorite stuffie is Mickey Mouse.

What is your favorite show? Bluey.

What is your favorite animal? Elephant.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Artist.

Who is your best friend? Nicholas. (This is my other half’s son who is in middle school, and they live in KC. So stinking sweet that he made such an impression on Wally when we see them a couple times a year.)

What is your favorite color? Blue. (This changes every day.)

What is your favorite food? Grapes.

What is your favorite part of the day? Sunny days.

What is your favorite game? Ninja Turtles (It’s the old school arcade game.)

What are you good at? Running. (Accurate)

What is your favorite thing about yourself? That I draw.

What is love? Hugs and kisses.

I also asked the family their favorite things about Wally to honor his birthday.

Tom: He is our sour patch kid. One minute he wants to cuddle up and the next he is running away from you on his scooter.

George: That sometimes he is not annoying. I do like playing with him.

Daphne: I love playing with him. My favorite is playing with him with our nativity set and our blocks.

Me: I love his self-confidence. He is so sure of what he wants and how to use his voice to advocate for himself. He can command a room and not be pushed around. For being the smallest in the house, he holds his own. I love that once he puts his mind to something he will keep trying until he masters it because he knows deep down that he can do it. He is so determined to be fully himself!

We love you sweet Wally! You brighten our days with your humor and playfulness. Wally, you are so bright and make everyone a friend. You can make everything seem like the most fun thing ever. This our last year before you are off to school, and I can’t wait to see how much you grow this year!