June 12, 2017 by Stephanie

Big Brother Adjustment

Since we found out we were pregnant, we have been thinking about how to prepare George for his big brother status.

Our plan was to fully potty train and move him to a big boy room months before Daphne was born. We wanted to have him play with baby dolls and have all of her baby stuff in place well before so he could get used to the idea.

We talked about Sister every day and read books about being a big brother. Because of the house renovation and her early arrival the only thing that did happen outside of talking about her was his potty training. We had the best intentions, but our situation got in the way. But I will say, potty training is a HUGE accomplishment, so I will take that as a win.

We had no room to move him to, and we weren’t going to set up a big boy room twice in two different spaces. We also didn’t bring most of her stuff out of the basement until a couple weeks before because we didn’t want the construction dust to get all over it and for it to be in the way since we were already limited on space with our closet storage being taken away for the time being. We also never got around to getting a baby doll, so there’s that.

Our sitter was amazing and picked up in some areas where we lacked. He did play with baby dolls there. And fortunately for us, she also took on two infants this winter. So he had the opportunity to be around two small baby girls. Our sitter did a great job having George “help,” and he took his job of being a baby guard very seriously. It takes a village…

Anyway, we really just hoped for the best when we made the actual adjustment.

When we brought Sister home, he mostly ignored her. He would give her kisses when we asked, but he really didn’t seem to notice her. Those first couple days, the mornings were a little rough as far as the need for our attention. We could not leave the room without sheer panic from George. He had to see us at all times. He was very clingy when we first woke up, but as the day wore on he became Mr. Independent again.

We have taken him to the sitter’s most days to have some consistency, but also so we can actually get stuff done around the house since we are still finishing up the renovation project. It is also nice to just focus on Daphne during the day. I think this has really helped George though because the sitter is normal for him. He is getting the same attention he always does. Plus it’s nice for him to be around other kids his age.

A couple days after we got home from the hospital, we transitioned him to his big boy room. He had been playing in it for a few weeks so he knew it was his room. We honestly didn’t talk about the big boy bed very much. We just kind of threw him in that first night, and we haven’t looked back. He made one comment about his crib being in sister’s room. After explaining it was now Sister’s, he has never said anything about it again. He does take the books off the bookshelf saying that they are his, so there is still some room to grow. Looking back, it is kind of like his new room was a big present for him after Daphne was born, so it has kind of worked for us in this regards.

He has been doing great in the big bed. He absolutely loves it. We have really lucked out with such a good sleeper. Once we put him in the bed, he doesn’t get up until we come and get him in the morning. Seriously lucky parents. He does bang on the wall in the morning to let us know that he is awake, but he will stay in his bed. We have yet to experience the creepy toddler eyes hovering over you in your own bed. He is so good! Nap time is the same way as well. It has been such a smooth transition for us. Apparently avoiding it until the last moment worked for us.

Now three weeks later after bringing Daphne home and changing rooms, he pays a little more attention to Sister. He points out when she is crying. He tries to rock her when she cries and pats her belly and sings to her. Our only real issue is that he tries to rock her a little too hard and tickle a little too forcefully. For the most part though, he is very gentle with her. He is very interested in breastfeeding, but he also understands that he will have to wait for most things if I am feeding her. (He has taken my nursing pads a couple times and put them on his own chest.) The only time that breastfeeding is an issue is when he has to go potty. We have had just a couple accidents though, which I can’t really blame him too much. He has been more upset about them than I was. We have had a few more tantrums, however it is hard to know if it is because of Daphne or just the fact that he is an almost 3 year old. However, since Daphne was born, he has had no timeouts at the sitter’s and very minimal with us. I also think that he has had another language explosion since she was born. I think this has helped us with diffusing the tantrums a little more rapidly because we are able to talk through them more effectively. It was like he knew we needed to understand him more. His speech has really amplified these past few weeks.

I will say that Tom and I have tried our best to do two things with George.

One we have kept him on the same schedule. He still has the same morning and bed time routine. We are still taking him to the sitter during the week around the same times. We still expect the same things out of him, and give him roles throughout the day. He knows there is a pattern to his day. I think this is so important that we made this a priority so he had that consistency. Especially as a toddler, having him think that not much had changed made all of our lives easier. While it may be different than what most articles out there say, I think it was impactful that we didn’t make a big deal out of the change of a sister and a new room. It made it seem like everything was normal that we just carried on as before.

Second, we have been very intentional about doing things with George by himself. I play puzzles and read books with him, but I make sure that Sister is not in the same room so he knows that I am focused on him. Tom has taken him to hardware stores and spent time digging in our yard with little plastic dump trucks. He also took him George fishing for the first time! This has been so important in an effort to make it clear to George that Daphne is not taking his place.

I think that those two things are the reason that we have had minimal issues. Now, I have no idea if this is how other people should prepare for a baby number two. It has just worked for us. I really don’t recommend doing a renovation at the same time, so obviously our circumstances are different than most. I do propose that you try to make time for the big sibling and keep as much of a routine as possible. I think a lot will depend on your lifestyle and how old the big siblings are. George is two and a half, so what we did with him may not be helpful for a 5 year old sibling.

All in all, we have been very fortunate that George is such a good kid (mom brag). We have been wondering if the other shoe will drop though, so we take every good day as a blessing!

I can’t wait to see how these two grow and bond as the months and years go by. I am sure we will hit roadblocks in the future, but for now I will enjoy this easy transition for our big brother.

Tom echoed my sentiments of losing our only by saying that George becoming a big brother has only made us love him even more.

June 9, 2017 by Stephanie

The Great Chattanooga Bicycle Race $75 Amazon Giveaway with Mike Mizrahi

Take a ride through 1895 Chattanooga as it’s turned upside down when a young woman has the audacity to ride a bicycle-in bloomers-in Mike H. Mizrahi’s new book, The Great Chattanooga Bicycle Race! Anna Gaines, 19, struggles to conquer her insecurities after a horrible fall years ago from her beloved horse, Longstreet. On a visit to Brooklyn, she’s drawn to the new pastime of bicycling. But back at home, cycling is a scandalous sport for a proper lady. Anna has her eye on Peter Sawyer, president of the Cycling Club. As community outrage grows, an unexpected turn of events pits Anna against Peter in a race between the sexes.

This book receives a 2/5 from me. I liked the idea of the book, especially now with all that is going on with women’s rights. I thought it would be interesting to read about a woman’s right to do something so trivial in today’s time like riding a bike.

I liked bits and pieces of the book. Honestly, it was a bit chaotic for me. There were a lot of side stories going on that made it seem very disjointed. While they may have added a little bit, in my opinion there was not a very good flow from one story to the next. At times it was hard to follow along with which story line was the focus at the time. Because there were so many story lines to keep up with, I don’t feel that there was very much depth to the characters even though I think that is what the author was going for.

What I did find interesting were Anna’s inner thoughts. She wrestled with the unwanted responsibilities that come with being a leader. There was one chapter where she talked about how she had become a role model to younger girls and how she was scared about the weight of that role. I think any leader has these moments where we have to think about how each thing we do has meaning to those around us. And that sometimes doing the right thing for the greater good will come with some harsh comments from naysayers. Change can be hard.

It was also interesting to think that there was a time that women had to fight to ride a bike or to wear pants in public. We have come a long way, but it also made me think, what is it of our time that our kids will look back and say how ridiculous it is that we had to fight for that equality. This book mentioned several times about equal pay and hiring standards, and it makes me sad that we are still fighting that fight today. I hope that things will be better for my daughter so she doesn’t have to endure things like this.

There is a giveaway to celebrate the release of Mike’s new book. You can enter to win this $75 Amazon gift card giveaway!

One grand prize winner will receive:

A copy of The Great Chattanooga Bicycle Race
A $75 Amazon gift card

Enter today by clicking the banner below, but hurry! The giveaway ends on June 14. The winner will be announced June 15 on Mike’s blog.

June 9, 2017 by Stephanie

Bachelorette Rachel Week 3

And we finish out the “To Be Continued.”

Here are my thoughts for this week:

Demario is a cocky piece. “When I met you, my entire life changed.” Of course it did, you are on national television.
Rachel is giving it to him. She is not having any of his crap. She is looking for a man not a boy. Boom. I love her. Your time is not now Demario.
“He had nothing new to contribute besides begging.” Pretty much.
I hope the men take her seriously from now on. I love that she was strong about her convictions and didn’t let him sweet talk her.
So how did the Tickle Monster get those hands there? Don’t they only get one suitcase?
Lucas and Blake. They both need to go. I can’t do this bro drama.
Blake doesn’t eat carbs?
You both (Blake and Lucas) are trying to make each other look bad. You are both bitter and being crazy.
Tom called Lucas a scum bag.
Fred gets another week! Maybe she will get over the past behavior.
I bet Lucas goes to Paradise….gross. Speaking of…this cast list dropped this week.
Blake, buddy, you put yourself in the same category of that drama. Plus you can’t put yourself in the nice gentleman category when your first interview was about your sexual prowess.
I wish y’all could hear Tom’s reaction to this fight…I’m dying.
This started with straight shit talking then went to two grown men mocking each other with fart noises.
I think the Bachelorette seasons have more drama than the Bachelor seasons. Men try to act like they aren’t dramatic but they are just so silly.
YES TO ELLEN! I already saw the episode, but this is cool to see the backstory.
I don’t like that he called Rachel “sloppy seconds.” I hope she says something about that.
Alex is going at it with this dancing.
This is probably the one segment (strip dancing) of the Ellen show that I don’t like. I think it is a double standard of exploitation. No one would think this was ok if women were half naked strip dancing…
Never Have I Ever though…great game.
This has got to be weird to have them all talk about how many guys have kissed her.
Why is it awkward that Fred asked you to kiss him? People should get consent.
She is sending Fred home…She can’t get past him being a school kids.
Fred is going to be broken. You can just see it in his eyes that he is devastated.
Why did she take the rose with her to break up with Fred? That is like taunting him.
They are taking their horses into the stores? Is that real?
A CUPCAKE ATM???? WHY AREN’T THESE IN MISSOURI???
Why do they have to blur out the horse poop?
Anthony seems sweet and old school classy.
Tom thinks that Eric is stoned when he goes off on Iggy.
These men on this second group date…there are some I don’t feel like I have seen before.
This date in the party bus feels like a bachelorette party with all these women back.
Mud wrestling? Sometimes these shows are so sexist…
Well Rachel wanted to see all of them without their shirts on.
Kenny didn’t go easy on any of these people. He threw those men around. I thought he was going to break Lee. But seriously, Bryce won?
Wow Kenny used to be a Chippendale?
Rachel is not subtle at all. She tells everyone everything. Eric is going to blow his lid.
This conversation between Lee and Eric is interesting. Lee seems to be just saying whatever to be friends.
Everyone is coming at Eric.
I love Rachel’s formal coat. It is gorgeous. Her stylist really outdid themselves!
Man Rachel is not going to cut corners. I love how she is so blunt and forward.
Ugh I hate that they don’t do the rose ceremony at the end. I know we are continuing into next week, but at least give me some closure for this week.

My favorites: Will and Dean.

And because I love the interviews I find on the Bachelor gossip, I wanted to share with you a couple.

June 2, 2017 by Stephanie

Bachelorette Rachel Week 2

Now we are on to the real dates. Here are my thoughts for this week.

Oh I love Ashton and Mila are helping and are huge fans of the show. That’s awesome that they called the producers to be involved.
I would not let any of these men near my baby with how they are handling these fake babies.
Lucas is drowning his baby. How does that not disqualify him?
Ashton’s reaction to the Waboom was priceless.
So Blake now knows Lucas from before? I feel like he cannot focus on anything but Lucas.
I feel bad for Fred. She is just always going to come back to the camp thing.
Rachel just looks bored on this group date.
Lucas just sounds like he is drunk all the time. He slurs his speech, and he is just acting silly the whole time.
Dean. Oh Dean. Hubba hubba.
Kenny’s reaction to Lucas and Blake going at it-bahahaha. These men are definitely being ridiculous.
That kiss with Dean was so sweet. She looks so giddy.
I love that she brought her dog, Copper. That is definitely important to see if the dog likes the partner and vice versa.
This Barkfest looks like so much fun. This is a great date idea, like something that couples would actually do in real life. We could never bring our dogs to that though.
I love that Peter’s dad started watching the show to get to know Rachel.
I also love that Peter and Rachel are talking about therapy. Normalize counseling!
Peter and Rachel are so cute together. He seems super calm and would be a good balance for her.
I would forget about Rachel when Kareem walked out.
This basketball date is my kind of date!
Yes Demario is cocky.
It’s always funny to watch how men react on these sports dates. It’s like they have to prove their manhood more on these type of dates.
Oh this is the girlfriend off the show episode.
Demario is going to act like he doesn’t know Lexi…of course. Playah.
I think both Demario and Lexi are lying a little bit. Neither of them are making sense.
Keep it real Rachel. Get him out. You don’t need a man like that anyway.
Rachel is killing it in these dresses. She is looking so classy with these faux fur jackets.
Man Demario is ballsy for coming back.
Ugh I hate the “to be continued.”

My favorites: Will, Josiah, Peter, and Dean.

May 31, 2017 by Stephanie

Second Time Around

Much like this pregnancy, bringing Daphne home has been a much different experience than bringing George home.

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I think the biggest difference was all the unknown the first time around:

unknown job situation
unknown of how to handle a newborn
unknown of how long we would be in KY/TN

I remember being so anxious about our future and trying to keep this little person alive. It was hard to really enjoy those newborn stages.

I think we knew that having a newborn was going to be hard, but I don’t think we were at all prepared for the effects of being in the NICU, difficulties of breastfeeding, and general tiredness.

Tom also barely got any time off with George, especially since 2/3 of his time he did get from the Army we were still at the hospital with the NICU. This time he is off for 4 weeks right now, and will be taking another week or two when I head back to work in August. Having both of us here has been so nice.

This time we went in expecting the awful nights and set our expectations really low. I have been pleasantly surprised with the amount of sleep we are working with.

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Breastfeeding has been tons better this time around. I attribute this mostly to the fact that we were combating a 10 day stay in the NICU with George where he learned how to feed with bottles and syringes. Daphne’s first time eating was through breastfeeding, so I think it has just been much more natural. Granted it has only been twoish weeks, so I know we still have many more milestones to get through. I just hope it continues to go well. All I know is that I have not been breaking down crying in her room in the middle of the night like I did with George, so that is a plus.

Another big difference is that we are not as paranoid. I remember not wanting to leave the house with George. Our trips were very minimal with him in the car, and I just couldn’t deal with the logistics of breastfeeding. This time around, we have been out every other day as a family of four. I have a much better nursing cover that makes things much easier and gives me the modesty I want to be out while feeding her. Plus as I said, she is taking to it a lot better than George. I also think we realize that it is much easier to take a new baby out for errands and eating out than it is to take a toddler.

I also don’t feel like I have to have my eyes on her 24/7. With George, I would not take a shower without Tom being home because I was afraid he would die while I was getting clean. With Daphne, I am in other rooms all the time whether it is to finish cleaning or organizing the new bedrooms or playing with her big brother. I feel fine leaving her to nap in her rock and play without watching her breathe every second. We thank the NICU for making us even more paranoid as first tie parents. This time we are a little more confident that we won’t kill the kid if we look away for a second.

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It sounds like it has been all roses with Miss DC in comparison to Mr. Man. I will admit in a lot of ways it has been a lot easier. We are in a better place in life mentally, emotionally, and fiscally. That has a tremendous affect on how you approach being a parent.

However, having a toddler does make things more interesting. I can’t just sit around and hold Daphne all day which is pretty much what I did with George for the first couple months. My attention has to be split between two kids (and a husband and two dogs), which can be a little tricky. We have tried to keep George on as much of his normal schedule as possible. That can be hard when Daphne decides to eat right now and then George decides as soon as she is latched that is when he has to go potty. And he needs an audience to actually go…So making adjustments and forcing a toddler to change is never a piece of cake.

It has also been something trying to navigate the end of our renovation project with a newborn. Granted we moved when George was 2 months old, but having strangers in your house while you are newly home from the hospital and breastfeeding has been a little stressful this go around. Let alone I am still on a weight restriction so I can’t really help move anything into the new rooms.

There are good and bad moments with every transition I guess. However, I am trying to be positive this time around and try to enjoy these newborn moments as much as I can. Also this is a rare opportunity that I get to be home with my family over the summer months, so we are going to make the most of it. Our family is complete, and really what could be better than that?